Sherryzhangh 加入写作小分队的首篇独立作文，欢迎拍砖！7月7号

陈喵喵holdon

TPO 24

(综合的结构好像一般都是前面Intro一段,后面分论点，不用结论段)To start with, the reading passage assumes the remains that found in the channels（之前前面没有任何铺垫的话出来一个channel也不知道是什么channel,在讲什么)are blood vessels. On the contrary, the professor states that the remains is(are) not necessarily from T rex. And he suggests it might be just some bacteria（我一直没整明白bacterium和bacteria有什么区别= =) that using the channels as a residential area, and leaves trace in it as we saw today as the soft moisture tissues.

Secondly, the reading asserts that the remains could be the blood red cells. However, the professor argues that the T rex may not have any red blood cells. It might be just some radishes minerals. Therefore, the reading passages’ statement is untenable.(这段的句子好像有点散，试试看适当连起来下)

At last, the reading passage reasons that the remains might be collagen matrix. On the contrary, the professor argues back by citing the evidence that collagen usually do not live more than 100,000 years. Apparently, the 7 million years T rex is not possible to leave any collagen. And the professor suggests it might be the source of others, such as the skin of the researchers when they pass the fossils.

In conclusion, the professor clearly indentifies the weakness of the reading and convincingly shows the remains in fossils is not necessarily from the T rex.（这段不必要，放前面加个背景段)

-- by 会员 sherryzhangh (2012/8/27 15:30:34)

总体细节把握的很好！散句不适宜太多，适当连接一下哈

sherryzhangh

开头段没有粘过来....

陈喵喵holdon

................我就想怎么会没有开头段................

jeffery2541

亲~找不到你的827独立哦~

sherryzhangh

8月27日
know a person from type of friends that he has, agree or disagree

Theoretically, people tend to have friends who share the same interests or could be complementary with them. More or less we could know a person from type of friends that he/ she has. But in reality, that is not always the truth. One thing is because human beings are so complicate social animals. Usually what they do does not necessarily what they really are, at best is just very small part of them; The other thing is different times people may encounter different friends. Therefore it is to rash to jump to the judgment what kind of person they are.



To start with, Human beings cognition is built up on the Empiricism, which means we tend to judge a person from the outlooks as well as occupations. For example, if someone has a friend who is a physicist, people tend to think they are all nerd or science ginks, like to play video games and into comic books. However, if they show your how versatile they are, they actually also take a part time job as a standup comedian at a comedy club. I believe most of people would not judge them as nerd anymore. The example may be a little too exaggerates. But in the reality, this is always the case, judging a person too quickly just simply by what kind of friends he / she has unusually lead to wrong direction.



Another equally important point is that human beings are not invariable, different times people tend to have different friends according to their needs. When people are younger, they tend to have friends just for fun. However, adults tend to be more utilitarian when they make friends, they usually willing to connect to people who could help them and could be beneficial from it. In this case, people do not show what kind of person they really are, what we could learn from the so called “friends” is relatively unilateral. Take opera Winfrey as an example, when she was young she is a trouble girl, she was into drugs and dealing inappropriate business. Needless to say what kind of friends she is being with. When she become a grow up, we all know what kind of person she is friends with—celebrities like Jennifer Anniston or Nicole Kidman. Apparently, she has changed so much, what we see from her younger friends and adult friends may be could not judge what kind of person she really is.



Admittedly, it is good access to know a person through their friends. However, these kinds of impressions are not always reliable. We need to observe much more detailed aspects as a whole to judge a person. Therefore, I could not agree with that to knowing a person could from the friend she / he has.

kchszy061ban

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

TPO1

The reading passage and the professor's lecture are both explore the issue of whether the four-day’s work is benefits（beneficial） to the company and the employees or not. The reading passage uses three reasons to support the four day works. However, the professor cast doubts and provides his own insights of the four days work option.

To Start with, the reading passage assumes the four days work not only can increase profits for company, but also can reduce errors. Moreover, (there are 要不然这个句子不完整啊)no extra costs for hire more people. On the contrary, the professor explains that could（it） result in spending more than before. Because of adding（这里主语是哪一个，没写明白） new workers need to offer trainings and health insurance benefit, as well as more working spaces and computers. Therefore, it seems more costing than the five days work.

Secondly, the reading passage reasons that four-day’s work could reduce unemployment rates. However, the professor argues that the company may not hire more people like we expected这里要分下吧？they might just ask the work overtime or finish the five-day’s work in four days, which may cause work（workers） feel unpleasant.

At last, the reading passage states that the individual also could（can） benefits from it because of more family time, private interests’ time and enjoy leisure life. However, the professor claims that may cause the decreasing of their job abilities hence put them in the risk position. Because of they might be the first to lose their jobs in the economic downside. Moreover, it will likely to pass their opportunities to be promoted. Apparently, the company would like to promote the five-days workers who is more dedicated and committed to their works.
听力很很好，就是句子稍微有点问题，是太着急了吧。

sherryzhangh

TPO 2

The reading passage explores the advantages of the team work for the project. The professor's lecture deals the same topic. However, he holds the opposite ideas by citing case evidences to argue back the counterparts which brought up by the reading.

On one hand, the reading claims that the team work is greatly beneficial to the project. Because of more people could offer more ideas, more skills, more resources as well as creative solutions which are more risky compared with individual decisions. Moreover, the reading claims that the team member also could receive more rewarding, as they could get better chance to be recognized compared to people who work alone.

On the other hand, the professor states that would not necessarily happen according to certain company's six months long experiments. Instead of the expected effective outcome, quite the opposite, the company found in each team, there are people just take the free ride, they do not offer any insights. Moreover, the well done member would not necessarily recognize as highly significant. It is more often that team as whole to be recognized instead of individuals. Furthermore, it is takes longer to reach a consensus among all the team member, thus efficient will not be the case for the team work. At last, the team member who has strong influential to the team usually tends to ignore the different voice of the members, which may lead to total failure of the projects.

jeffery2541

详见下面附件

sherryzhangh

When itcomes to the valuation of university ‘s quality of education, talentedprofessors, undoubtedly, are one of most important aspects. Other than that,the infrastructure, the equipment that the university possessed, ambiences ofthe university, as well as the management style of the university, all combinedtogether as a whole to contribute the quality of the university.Therefore, it is far from enough to just invest more money on salary forprofessor.

To beginwith, well-planed school architecture is essential for the quality ofeducation, which means offeringstudents confortable and convenience environment for their study and live isthe prerequisite of quality education. Only those meet the needs, moreimprovement could be implemented. Moreover, the advanced equipment forlaboratory research and study is another key points of quality education. A lot of the faculty or academiccould attracts more student because they have the most advancedequipment; therefore, professor and students have better chance to develop newdiscovers and consequently become the leading laboratory in the field, which isneedless to say will enhance the quality of the university education.

Anotherequally important point is the management style and the ambience created by keyindividuals leader. Running a university just like running a business, capablemanagement level also will improve the quality of the education, and the keyindividual leader played a significant role in creating the ambience of the university.Take former principle of the Beijing University Mr. Cai Yuan Pei as an example,before principle Cai, Beijing University is surrounded by some negative atmosphere.Students are focused on seeking for more promise future in career and wealthinstead of study knowledge.When Principle Cai took over, he advocates the students should focus onacademics, university are not just a place to get a degree and use it forbetter future, neither just sell for knowledge. University should cultivateacademics interests and proper,correct, positive personality for students.

Granted,offering competitive compensation would be a good strategy to attract moretalented professors, and thus can greatly improve the quality of the education.However, it’s far from enough to achieve the goal for university. Besides, theprofessors also will considered a series facts of university before he decidedto take the offer, such as will the university will help me to pursue a betteracademic goals in the future other than just money sides.

Inconclusion, well-planed architecture, advanced equipment, individual keyleader, efficient management, as well as talented professors all playsignificant roles in the quality of the education. Therefore, just focus on onesingle side will not succeed.

猫和鸭

When it comes to the valuation of university ‘s quality of education, talented professors, undoubtedly, are one of most important aspects. Other than that,the infrastructure, the equipment that the university possessed, ambiences ofthe university, as well as the management style of the university, all combined together as a whole to contribute the quality of the university.Therefore, it is far from enough to just invest more money on salary forprofessor.
To begin with, well-planed school architecture is essential for the quality of education, which means offering students confortable and convenience environment for their study and live is the prerequisite of (the 特指）quality education. Only those meet the needs, more improvement could be implemented. Moreover, the advanced equipment for laboratory research and study is another key points of quality education. A lot of the faculty or academiccould attracts more student because they have the most advanced equipment; therefore, professor and students have better chance to develop new discovers and consequently become the leading laboratory in the field, which is needless to say will enhance the quality of the university education.
Another equally important point is the management style and the ambience created by（a or pl.)key individuals leader. Running a university just like running a business, capable management level also will improve the quality of the education, and (a or pl.)key individual leader played（时态？） a significant role in creating the ambience of the university.Take former principle of the Beijing University Mr. Cai Yuan Pei as an example,before principle Cai, Beijing University is surrounded by some negative atmosphere.Students are focused on seeking for more promise future in career and wealth instead of study(ing) knowledge.When Principle Cai took over, he advocates(前后时态要一致） the students should focus on academics, university are not just a place to get a degree and use it forbetter future, neither just sell for knowledge. University should cultivate academics interests and proper,correct, positive personality for students.（这里的名词和形容词之间不能用AND并列吧）
Granted,offering competitive compensation would be a good strategy to attract moretalented professors, and thus can greatly improve the quality of the education.However, it’s far from enough to achieve the goal for university. Besides, theprofessors also will considered a series facts of university before he decidedto take the offer, such as will the university will（两个WILL没看懂啊） help me to pursue a betteracademic goals in the future other than just money sides.
In conclusion, well-planed architecture, advanced equipment, individual key leader, efficient management, as well as talented professors all play significant roles in the quality of the education. Therefore, just focus on one single side will not succeed（successful).

MM写得很好，比较简洁，长句型和例子用的都很到位，只是有一些常规的小错误我给划出来了，唉，MM可惜我水平太弱了，自己的都写得很糟糕，改别人的好心虚啊。实在改不出啥特别原则的错误，还请MM多多见谅啊。
另外看MM贴才知道MM从7月开始练写作的，一直坚持到现在，很佩服啊，我才坚持了十来天，希望也能继续走下去，祝你考出好成绩！
PS：这篇文章我在8/18写过一次，这次占位没看题目就盲目占了，再加上昨天忙了些私事，没来得及重写一篇，拿这个烂文凑了数，主要是怕楼主把我给踢了，MM如果不想改也没关系的哈。等我下次什么时候有空的时候再重新写一篇吧。