Sherryzhangh 加入写作小分队的首篇独立作文，欢迎拍砖！7月7号

sherryzhangh

8月12日

It is better to finish aproject completely and then begin a new one than work on two or more projectsat the same time

Do you remember a highschool question refer to how to coordinate time? The question is: laundry takesyour 40 minutes, cooking consume your 30 minutes, cleaning house needs 20minutes. How do you manage to finish all those work in hour or less? Any onewho has capable logical mentality would provide the answer: put the cloth inthe laundry machine, it takes around 5 minutes; while the machine is working,you could prepare food, it probably will take 15-20 minutes. While you waitingfor you food is being boiled. You could clean the house. If you were efficientenough, it probably would only take you an hour even less to finish it. Therefore,I would believe you definitely will be on my side when it comes to whether weshould finish a project completely and then begin a new one or work on two ormore projects at the same time. Of course, I prefer the latter one, the reasonare as follows.

To start with, it is ratherpractical to just doing one thing at a time. The reality is, most of the time,when things happened, they happened together. You never know when the newproject will come to you, are you really going to say no to your boss or yourclients just because you have one single project is being processed? That youcannot take a hand out to do more? No, of course not, I believe if you said no,you had turned them off, probably they will never ask for you again. Moreover,it might make them reevaluated your work ability, I believe in the recruitingAds, there should be always have an request, which is be able to handmultitasks. Therefore, handle two or more things are essential ability for yourlife and career.

Another equally importantpoint is handle two or more things at the same time will reduce the costs suchas costs for time, human and even material resources. Take one example in theTV commercial industrial as an example, the clients needs to shoot more than 5commercials which will distribute in 5 different countries, if I was theproduce, I would suggest them to shoot together, because from the humanresource side I could hire one creating team, it probably will takes longertime than to finish a single one and more people needs to get evolved and beingmanaged. But from the long run, and the financial side or for the time sake itwill benefits all. I could get better rates for the equipment that needs to berented; get a better price for bring the location and props preparation budgetdown; even the clients can get a better package price for doing it. Therefore,we can all take advantages for doing multi-projects together.

Admittedly, handling onesingle project at one time will guarantee the project to be done perfectly. Youcould devote more time and energy to it. However, capable of handling more thanone doesn’t mean the project quality will be discounted. All in all, in thisfiercer competing society, handling multi-tasks is essential for our life.  

浅吟天

黄色模版加好的，绿色批注红色我改的

TPO 10 8月12号

The reading passage explored the issue of（改成that把，OF后不加句子） what are the possible answers to the sea otter populations declining in a few years ago. the professor's lecture discusses the same issue. However, the professor holds opposite opinions, and she argues back the counterparts which brough(brought) out by the reading passage accordingly.(建议第一段再实在些，那两个原因可以提一提)

To start with, the reading passage asserts that the pollution seems（有个to吧） play the most important role in impair（impairing） of the sea otters. However, the professor claims that if it is indeed, the pollutions impact on sea otter, how come there are no dead body（bodies） of the sea otter has ever been found at all. Moreover, the professor states that the most possible reason might be predators, rather than pollution.

Secondly, the reading passage states that other sea mammals such as seals and sea lions were also declining; therefore it must be the pollution which killed the sea species. On the contrary, the professor argues back that it does happened to other sea species, but it is the human predatory killed the sea mammals instead of pollution did.(这段阅读和听力平分秋色了，应该更重听了，我想可能是没听太清的原因。Lz再听听，原因不是这样的)

Thirdly, the reading passage claims that due(我没看懂这句结构，但due 肯定形式不对） to the uneven pattern of otterdecline, which indicates the pollution take（单数） place in different area also approved that pollution is the key reason. However, the professor argues back （能换个词吗,每段都是这个，claim ,hold, contend, explain）because of the uneven pattern, which indicates that（加个it） is the predator rather than pollution harmed（两个动词了，我也不知道这么简练的表达，若我改：it is A rather than B that do harm to C） the sea otter. Because the less declining area is just the place where the predator such as orca (who) cannot access to, shallow water.(这句话很奇怪，我没看太懂)

总的来说，有点小语法错误，这点与lz的功底不配啊，我记得以前改过你的独立的，很好的，所以写时再注意下，不然丢分多可惜。

第二就是听的可以再细致些，这是我们俩都有的问题了，有些点可以更好的。（反省我自己，这篇也听的不好，回头重写）

sherryzhangh

The reading passage explored the issue of today the young generation are reading far less literature-novels, plays than they used to. Thus, it affects the reading public and lower culture standard in general. However, the professor holds the opposite opinions. She uses three specific reasons to argue back the counterparts which brought out by the reading passage.

To start with, the reading passage claims that the decline has been sharply for literature reading, which is harm the young generation and missing out on important benefits. On the contrary, although the professor admitted that young generation is less reading literature than before. However, that doesn't mean they didn't read at all, Science, history and political reviews all well written, available to youth. Therefore, it not necessarily causes the low culture standard if the literature not being read by youth.

Moreover, the reading passage reasons that young people likes to read prevalent self-help books which are usually poorly written, and less demanding on intellectual aspects. The professor contends; although in general youth is decline to read than before, the alternatives music and movies are actually advanced form expressions available better than literature.

At last, the reading passage blames the reader who is responsible for the declination. However, the professor asserts that is the writers who need to be blamed. Because modern literature intends to be difficulty for readers to understand. Therefore, the reading passage’s arguments are untenable.

Vance1991

Do you remember a highschool question refer to how to coordinate time? The question is: laundry takesyour 40 minutes, cooking consume(s) your 30 minutes, cleaning house needs 20minutes. How do you manage to finish all those work in hour or less? Any onewho has capable logical mentality would provide the answer: put the cloth inthe laundry machine, it takes around 5 minutes; while the machine is working,you could prepare food, it probably will take 15-20 minutes. While you waitingfor you food is being boiled. You could clean the house. If you were efficientenough, it probably would only take you an hour even less to finish it. Therefore,I would believe you definitely will be on my side when it comes to whether weshould finish a project completely and then begin a new one or work on two ormore projects at the same time. Of course, I prefer the latter one, the reasonare as follows.(由题目引出主题是很新颖,不过个人觉得太长了点,例子可以作为一个body paragraph来写了...)





To start with, it is ratherpractical to just doing one thing at a time. The reality is, most of the time,when things happened, they happened together. You never know when the newproject will come to you, are you really going to say no to your boss or yourclients just because you have one single project is being processed? That youcannot take a hanod out to do more? No, of course not,(这里应该是yes吧...) I believe if you said no,you had turned them off(turn off不是关掉的意思么,难道还有拒绝?turn down吧...), probably they will never ask for(delete for/ ask for  your help) you again. Moreover,it might make them reevaluated your work ability, I believe in the recruitingAds, there should be always have an request, which is be able to handmultitasks. Therefore, handle two or more things are essential ability for yourlife and career.





Another equally importantpoint is handle two or more things at the same time will reduce the costs suchas costs for time, human and even material resources. Take one example in theTV commercial industrial as an example, the clients needs to shoot more than 5commercials which will distribute in 5(楼主打算考试的时候写阿拉伯数字么?=.=) different countries, if I was theproduce, I would suggest them to shoot together, because from the humanresource side I could hire one creating team, it probably will takes longertime than to finish a single one and more people needs to get evolved and beingmanaged. But from the long run, and the financial side or for the time sake itwill benefits all. I could get better rates for the equipment that needs to berented; get a better price for bring the location and props preparation budgetdown; even the clients can get a better package price for doing it. Therefore,we can all take advantages for doing multi-projects together.





Admittedly, handling onesingle project at one time will guarantee the project to be done perfectly. Youcould devote more time and energy to it. However, capable of handling more thanone(at the same time) doesn’t mean the project quality will be discounted. All in all, in thisfiercer competing society, handling multi-tasks is essential for our life.  


楼主写的很不错,错误很少.

sherryzhangh

8月13日

Know about the eventshappening around the world that do not affect our life. D\A

Have you ever heard about butterfly effects? The phrase refers to the idea that a butterfly's wings mightcreate tiny changes in the atmosphere that may ultimately alter the path of a tornado or delay,accelerate or even prevent the occurrence of a tornado in another location. Theflapping wing represents a small change in the initial condition of the system,which causes a chain of events leading to large-scale alterations of events.The example may be a little exaggerated, but it’s clearly showed mystandpoints. I couldn’t agree more of knowing about the events that happeningaround the world would affect our life, the reasons are as follows.

To start with, understanding what's going on with this world could help us follow the rapid steps of theworld. Which means in the up roaring economic era, we could have integrated viewpoints for what we have been encountered. If we fail to understand that, might cause severe result. Take aninvestment company as an example; if they want to invest some money in anothercountry, knowing what happened in this country such as politics, economics andculture would be essential. It will be helpful if they could understand theirpolitics environment, therefore reduce the any risks on the policy issues;knowing about their economic atmosphere would benefits the expanding strategy;of course culture will help them to integrated into the local life. Otherwisethey might confront great risks.

Another equally important point is knowing about what happened outside could enrich our life, broaden our horizons. Take myself as an example; I accidentally saw a news that cruiseline tour is expanding in Asia, then I found out that one of the biggest cruiseline group is looking for Chinese employees. Therefore, I applied for it and luckily I got the offer, so I have the opportunity to travel around theworld. If I didn’t even care about what’s going on with the cruise, I would never have the chance to see the world in this way, which gives me amazing and memorable experiences.

Granted, most of the times, knowing about events happening doesn’t necessarily affects your life. However, doesn’t

care about anything outside of your world definitely will stifle your mentality. Given humans is society species. Therefore we need to have a better understanding of others, mainly through knowing about events happening around.

kaddish

The reading passage explored the issue of (语法错误要么改成从句，of 后面连接的是短语或者名词)today the young generation are reading far less literature-novels, plays than they used to（不完整吧）. Thus, it affects the reading public and lower （注意单复数）culture standard in general. However, the professor holds the opposite opinions. She uses three specific reasons to argue back the counterparts（这个词再去查查吧） which brought out by the reading passage.

To start with, the reading passage claims that the decline has been sharply for literature reading, which is harm（用错形式了） the young generation and （这里主谓不一致，请细查，miss out是人的行为，但你这的主语是decline）missing out on important benefits. On the contrary, although the professor admitted that young generation is less reading literature than before. However, that doesn't mean they didn't read at all, Science, history and political reviews all well written, available to youth. (这里的谓语呢？)Therefore, it not necessarily causes the low culture standard if the literature not being read by youth.漏了很大的信息点吧，instigate intelligence

Moreover, the reading passage reasons that young people likes to read prevalent self-help books which are usually poorly written, and less demanding on intellectual aspects.（又缺失谓语--） The professor contends; although in general youth is decline to read than before（检查一下，有语病）, the alternatives music and movies are actually advanced form expressions available better than literature.总感觉又漏了一些点

At last, the reading passage blames the reader who is responsible for the declination. However, the professor asserts that it is the writers who need to be blamed. Because modern literature intends to be difficulty（difficult） for readers to understand. Therefore, the reading passage’s arguments are untenable.

kaddish

Have you ever heard about butterfly effects? The phrase refers to the idea that a butterfly's wings mightcreate tiny changes in the atmospherethat may ultimately alter the path of a tornado or delay,accelerate or even prevent the occurrence of a tornado in another location. Theflapping wing represents a small change in the initial condition of the system,which causes a chain of events leading to large-scale alterations of events.The example may be a little exaggerated, but it’s clearly showed mystandpoints. I couldn’t agree more of knowing about the events that happeningaround the world would affect our life, and the reasons are as follows.

To start with, understanding what's going on with this world could help us follow the rapid steps of theworld. Which means in the up roaring economic era, （亲，注意语法问题呢，这里which怎么能单独引导一个句子）we could have integrated viewpoints for what we have been encountered. If we fail to understand that, might cause severe result. （有语病）Take aninvestment company as an example; if they want to invest some money in anothercountry, knowing what happened in this country such as politics, economics andculture would be essential. It will be helpful if they could understand theirpolitics environment, therefore reduce the（去掉） any risks on the policy issues;（这里的therefore 用的都点突然，，，为什么会减少没讲明白）knowing about their economic atmosphere would benefits the expanding strategy;of course culture will help them to integrated into the local life. Otherwisethey might confront great risks.

Another equally important point is knowing about what happened outside could enrich our life, broaden our horizons. Take myself as an example; I accidentally saw a news that cruiseline tour is expanding in Asia, then I found out that one of the biggest cruiseline group is looking for Chinese employees. Therefore, I applied for it and luckily I got the offer, so I have the opportunity to travel around theworld. If I didn’t even care about what’s going on with the cruise, I would never have the chance to see the world in this way, which gives me amazing and memorable experiences.这段挺好的

Granted, most of the times, knowing about events happening doesn’t necessarily affects your life. However, doesn’t

care about anything outside of your world definitely will stifle your mentality. Given humans is society species.（这里建议用单数吧） Therefore we need to have a better understanding of others, mainly through knowing about events happening around.这段的理由还是展开的不够充分

？？没有结尾段啊--

sherryzhangh

The reading passage explored the issue of whether the potrait of a teenage girl belongs to Jane Austen- one of the most famous of all English bovelists, or not. Reading passage lists three supportive assumptions and claims the portaits is Jane Austen. However, the professor cast serious doubt on it, he used three specific reasons to argue back the counterparts which brought out by the reading passage.

To begin with, the reading passage claims Jane Austen's family recognized it as the portrait of the author. However, the professor states that is unlikely the loose relatives had ever saw Jane Austen themselves, because it's been 70 years after Jane Austen's death. Therefore, the approval of the relatives is untenable.

Moreover, the reading passage reasons that the portrait clearly resembles the one on Cassandra's sketch. On the contrary, the professor contends that Jane Austen has a large family; the portrait could be easily as one of the cousins or children of the cousins. In fact, it is identified as one of Jane Austen resembles cousin named Mary Ann.

At last, the reading passage assumes the portrait is created by Humphrey, who is famous painter and affordable by wealthy Austen family. However, the professor claims that the stamp on the canvas shows that it was sold by a man named William. However, this man is not work in London until Jane Austen was 27 years old. Therefore, the portrait of teenage is unlikely Jane Austen herself.

kchszy061ban

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

Whether the continuously advancing technology has already given birth to the most significant change of people’s live in the past several centuries is relatively a subject of discussion. Despite the fact that some legendary inventions such as light bulb, steam machine and Internet did push the human civilization into new eras, what will happen in the future still remains unpredictable. However, if one considers the following reasons, he or she will be confident of the surely brighter future and therefore disagree with the title statement as I do.



At the very beginning, I have to admit that inventions worked out by our creative and smart predecessors have improved the quality of people’s life to an unprecedented level. This point can be perfectly illustrated by the development of medicine during the past several years. Among the generation of our parents and grandparents, cancer was a word that is always accompanied with death and fear. However, present medical techniques entirely changed people’s attitude towards cancer. Deeper research findings, stronger skills of doctoring, and more powerful equipments in hospitals all helped to raise the survival rate of cancerous patients, which results in worldwide longevity and high quality of life. Besides medicine, achievements reached in transportation, communication, and entertainment all seems so amazing that are impossible to be surpassed.



However, there is a saying goes that, “possibility of progress lives in the existence of flaw.” As we do not live in a perfect world, the chance to optimize those unsatisfying points makes it possible for new technologies to achieve a larger success. It is widely known that majority of African live in a poor condition, suffering poverty, illness, and war. If scientists can work out new ways to improve the situation in Africa, for example, to fertilize their sterile farmland into loam, to eliminate the wide-spread infective illness, to boost their economic development, and to peace those long-last dispute of land ownership, these new technologies would undoubtedly be treated equally important with the former ones as they contribute to the overall improvement of the world’s average live standard（standard 只是jiao的不是太合适）.



Another reason that should not be ignored is that no one is able to predict the future. The possibility that people’s life can be completely changed should never be denied. Actually, many high-tech and advanced skills we can see in the science fiction movie act as examples for the future we could expect. One of my most expressed techniques is the one that enable human to teleport. Acquiring this technique, the pace of human’s life would soar up, fuel and room used for transportation can be reserved for a better use, and the time spent on road could be used for more meaningful place. With hope of new technique like this, it is too early to conclude what the most significant technology is.（感觉着最后一句放首句的话更突出一点）



Taking into account all the factors discussed above, I am full convincing that more significant science advances is surely going to happen in the future. If there is anyone who still doubt the room for science to develop, who still wonder the existence of more advanced skills, and who still do not understand the unpredictability of future, this passage is my answer.



整篇都不错

sherryzhangh

8月15日

Do you agree or disagreewith the following statement. Parents should allow their children to makemistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes

When it comes to children,parents could be overprotective sometimes. They tend to arrange everything forchildren; offer all available conveniences; Moreover, they even try to take allthe responsibilities of their children. Because they want to assist theirchildren as much as possible and would not want them to make any mistake thusavoid the frustration. However, as far as I am concerned, this could be harmfulto the children and the parents.

To start with, as one of theold saying goes: practices makes perfect. If children never got a chance tomake mistakes, which means to do it on their own, they probably will neverlearn anything. Take how to learn swim as an example; some children are afraidof water, at the same time the parents also worried about their security, ifthe children had never got the chance into the pool and practice, and even tastesome salty water, they probably will drown in another kind of pool—the parents’cosset. Consequently, they may never learn how to swim. What parents should dois encourage children and conduct them on how to swim, afraid of children’s mistakethat they probably will make, isn’t going to help anything.

Another equally importantpoint is children will never develop an independent personality if parentskeeping to be overprotective to them. From psychological point, if childrennever makes mistakes, probably have two reasons; one is children are afraid ofmake mistake thus lose the love of parents; another is parents over protectivetry to give too much conduction for their children. The consequences for thosetwo reasons probably will make children either a timid character that’s afraidof making mistakes or an arrogant personality due to never fail with theparents’ aid. None of them are independent healthy personalities, if childrennever make mistake or fail, they would never know what is appreciation means. Therefore,for the sake of children’s psychological healthiness, parents should givechildren some space to develop on their own.

Granted, mistakes made bychildren sometimes could be severe and thus bring unavoidable lost for parents.However, that doesn’t mean that parents should deprive the rights of childrento develop on their own. Only if they make mistakes, they will have the chanceto learn from it. Therefore, the same kind of mistake could be avoided in thefuture.

Taking into account all the factorsdiscussed above, make no mistakes isn’t going to help children develop,moreover, it probably will create a strong parents and a weak children.Therefore, I am fully convinced children should make mistakes and learn fromit.