Sherryzhangh 加入写作小分队的首篇独立作文，欢迎拍砖！7月7号

winnie98

5555

sherryzhangh

Historically, People move to new places due to natural disaster or wars. In modern society, as the global economics developed, modern transportation tools are accessible to masses, people tends to move around in order to get further education or better career development. Some people hold the opinion that people should move less due to culture integrity, or most importantly, it will impair the old friendship. However, as far as I am concerned, I tend to disagree with it. The reasons are as follows.



To Start with, as the advanced development of technology, cell phone, computer, internet are accessible for everyone. Thus the communications between friends are available and convenient. Therefore, it would not harm the old friends at all. Take myself as an example, for taking further education and better career development, I moved to Capital city Beijing. Although I am far away from old friends, we are still keeping very close friendship. We talk to each other constantly via cell-phones, Skype, QQ etc. As long as there is good moment of sharing happiness and sadness, the friendship would not be impaired.



Another equally important point is that moving to new places not only will not harm old friends, but also will bring new friends and experience for us. Thanks for the modern transportation technology; people can travel from eastern side to the western side of the world less than 13 hours. Old friends can always visit us. Moreover, we will meet a lot of new friends during studying and working. Finally, from experience side, different city and country will bring us different experience; leaving some memorable times for our life.



Admittedly, Moving to a new place at the beginning can be scary and unaccustomed. People always worried about being alone or have to do everything on their own. However, as long as we survive through those difficulties, new life always can be fascinated.



Take into all accounts that has been discussed above, Moving to new place for study not only can bring us new experiences and friends for our life, but also unlikely to impair our friendship thanks to the modern technology. Therefore, we should embrace the new changes instead of just being at one place of our whole life.

桃花影子

Historically, People move to new places due to natural disaster or wars. In modern society, as the global economics(economy) developed, modern transportation tools are accessible to masses(不清楚可不可以这样用), people tends to move around in order to get further education or better career development. Some people hold the opinion that people should move less due to culture integrity, or most importantly, it will impair the old friendship. However, as far as I am concerned, I tend to disagree with it. The reasons are as follows.



To Start with, as the advanced development of technology, cell phone, computer, and internet are accessible for everyone.（句子不完整，要么这里变成逗号，去掉thus） Thus the communications between friends are available and convenient. Therefore, it would not harm the old friends at all. Take myself as an example, for taking further education and better career development, I moved to Capital city Beijing. Although I am far away from old friends, we are still keeping very close friendship. We talk to each other constantly via cell-phones, Skype, QQ etc. As long as there is good moment of sharing happiness and sadness, the friendship would not be impaired.



Another equally important point is that moving to new places not only will not harm old friends, but also will bring new friends and experience for us. Thanks for the modern transportation technology; people can travel from eastern side to the western side of the world less than 13 hours. Old friends can always visit us. Moreover, we will meet a lot of new friends during studying and working. Finally, from experience side, different city and country will bring us different experience; leaving some memorable times for our life. 引申出来的这个观点挺好的，其实可以就这个来写下面那一段，应该会比较饱满，字数也会可观~



Admittedly, Moving to a new place at the beginning can be scary and unaccustomed. People always worried about being alone or have to do everything on their own. However, as long as we survive through those difficulties, new life always can be fascinated.



Take into all accounts that has been discussed above,（nice~不过后面的大小写错了吧~） Moving to new place for study not only can bring us new experiences and friends for our life, but also unlikely to impair our friendship thanks to the modern technology. Therefore, we should embrace the new changes instead of just being at one place of our whole life.



总体来说思路比较清晰，跟我写的挺像的~~主要就是语句的问题，有些读起来感觉怪怪的~其它大部分都挺好的~

klllun

TPO 19

TPO19
The reading passage explored the new tactics of advertising called buzz, andtends to hold the opinionof stronglyagaist (against)it. Moreover, the reading passage listed 3 specific nagative(negative) impacts on people and society to support its ideas. However, one of the buzzerholds the opposite opinions, and he argues back to the three specific points accordingly.

To start with, the reading passage claims that the buzz was conducted by thepeople we trusted. If they paid to buzz it, they would have to say the productis good instead of telling the truth. However, the buzzer argues that peoplebecomes buzzer not only because they will get paid but also (because,not only…but also 的平行要完全一致) they really enjoy the products. Therefore, the positive massage（message）which the buzzers are sending is thenothing but the truth.

Secondly, the reading passage states that when buzzer hidden privately andexpress how great the products was, the audience will 100% trust the statementwithout any skeptical. However, the buzzer claims that quite the opposite,（。） The audience usually ask a lot of questions about the products. If thebuzzer couldn’t provide answer to them properly, they won't necessarily buy thebuzzer's sell.

At last, the reading passage believes thebuzz will be harmful therelationship between people thus it(要代指的是前面的整件事情，所以用指代出来更好，而且说buzz造成逻辑上有点奇怪，说是由某件事情造成更好) causesdistrustful hazard among the society. On the other hand, the buzzer claims thatthey only have goodintentions of really eager to introduce the products which they hadamazing experience to others, nothing but sincere only. Therefore, it's （分开写it is）unlikely willcause any spread of mistrust and the expectation of dishonesty.

In conclusion, the buzzer clearlyargued back the reading passage and convincingly shows that they are nothingbut sincerely appreciated the products.

正式的写作中都不用缩写哦，分开就好了（it's）

sherryzhangh

8月22日

Parents shouldhelp children to do their work or encourage children to do their workindependently

Currently, in China, as the one child policygeneration became the mainstay of the society; they started to have family andkid. The typical Chinese family now is four grandparents, two parents, and achild. It seems all the family members are focus on the only kid her/himself.Needless to say how spoiled the child it is. They tend to consider all the possiblethings for their kid, try to do as much as possible for them. However. Is itreally for their best interests? I doubt it. As far as I am concerned, I tendto hold the opposite opinion. My reasons are as follows.

To start with, without doing work independently,the children will never grow up. Without doing work by their own, they willnever learn things in order to develop better life. If parents gives to muchcare to the children, being afraid of the children might get hurt to do thingson their own, the children will just grow into a bigger sized baby, which isonly harmful to the children instead of for their best interests. Take one ofthe old projects as an example; this project was organized by Chinese andJapanese organizations. They invited one group of Chinese children and onegroup of Japanese children to join in a summer camp. They have been observingthose kids, Japanese children were more independent, they could take care ofthemselves and do daily work on their own, such as wash clothes, cook somesimple food. However, the Chinese kids seems lost in this battle, they do notknow how to do daily works, what they know is my parents will do it for me. Howsad is that. Therefore, it is better to let the children doing workindependently, but rather helping them do it all.

Another equally important point is that do theirown work could also help them develop a healthy psychological mind, which meansnot only they tend to become confidence after finished their work, but alsolearn to appreciate things. If children could accomplish work by themselves,they could build up their confidence gradually. Moreover, when they go throughall the hardness of accomplish one work, they will understand that theaccomplishment are not easy, they will cherish more and appreciate what theparents have done for them. Take myself as an example, when I was a student,everyday my mother have to get up early prepare breakfast for us. Aftergraduate and working in another city alone, everyday I have to get up early andprepare food for myself, I realized how exhausting my mother’s work was.Consequently I become more appreciated for what my mother have done for me.

Admittedly, if the children did not finish worksuccessfully on their own, it might impair their confidence, and frustratedtheir heart. However, with the proper instruction of parents, those situationsare likely to be avoidable. Even they did not succeed, parents could also guildthem, which actually good serve as a great lesson for their life, there is noteasy to be accomplished. Moreover, they could learn it from the failure.

Take all into accounts as discussed above, encouragechildren to do work independently not only helping them grow up but alsohelping them to develop better psychological mind. Therefore. Parents shouldlet the children do work on their own.

sherryzhangh

The reading passage explores the issue of "let it born" policy, and it contends that will cause serious damage for the vegetation, animals and tourism. However, the professor in the lecture holds opposite opinions, and she argues back by providing three specific reasons to the counterparts which brought up by the reading.

To start with, the reading assumes that the fire will cause tremendous damage to the vegetations and make it like a devastated wasteland. On the contrary, the professor claims that the fire actually created opportunities for certain small vegetations that needs more open space and un-shadowed environment. Moreover,some plants' seeds need high heat temprature to generates. Therefore, the fire actually contributes to the diversity of the plants.

Secondly, the reading reasons that the fire will affect park wildlife and cause extinct. However, the professor argues that new vegetation after the fire actually provides ideal habitant for certain small animals like rabbits. Moreover, the predators which eat rabbits can get more opportunities to survive too. Therefore, a new food chain is come into being.

Lastly, the reading passage asserts that the fire will influence the local tourism industrial and cause economy drawbacks. On the contrary, the professor claims that if the fire happens every year that will definitely impair the tourism. But the fire only happened once at yellow stone park due to the abnormal rainfall, strong winds etc. Moreover, the tourism is back to regular after that year and performed good since then. Therefore, it will not necessarily harm the tourism.

In conclusion, the professor clearly indentified the weakness of the reading passage and convincingly showed the fire caused wasteland is incorrect.

kaddish

The reading passage explores the issue of "let it born" policy, and it contends that(缺少主语) will cause serious damage for the vegetation, animals and tourism. However, the professor in the lecture holds opposite opinions, and she argues back by providing three specific reasons to the counterparts which（去掉） brought up by the reading.

To start with, the reading assumes that the fire will cause tremendous damage to the vegetations and make it like a devastated wasteland. On the contrary, the professor claims that the fire actually created opportunities for certain small vegetations that needs more open space and un-shadowed environment. Moreover,some plants' seeds need high heat temprature to generates. Therefore, the fire actually contributes to the diversity of the plants.

Secondly, the reading reasons that the fire will affect park wildlife and cause extinct(extinction). However, the professor argues that new vegetation after the fire actually provides ideal habitant for certain small animals like rabbits. Moreover, the predators which eat rabbits can get more opportunities to survive too. Therefore, a new food chain is come into being. （是加强不是生成）

Lastly, the reading passage asserts that the fire will influence the local tourism industrial and cause economy drawbacks. On the contrary, the professor claims that if the fire happens every year that will definitely impair the tourism. But the fire only happened once at yellow stone park due to the abnormal rainfall, strong winds etc. Moreover, the tourism is back to regular after that year and performed good since then. Therefore, it will not necessarily harm the tourism.

In conclusion, the professor clearly indentified the weakness of the reading passage and convincingly showed the fire caused wasteland？？ is incorrect.

写的挺好但模板痕迹太重

sherryzhangh

The reading passage explores the issue of whether the genetically modified trees outweigh the natural trees. The professor's lecture deals the same topics. However, she holds opposite opinions contradict to the reading passage's statement.

To begin with, the reading passage claims that the modified tree possess hardier and stronger survival abilities compare with natural trees. However, the professor states that the genetically modified tree has more uniformed genetics, if they died, they all died. Natural trees, on the other hand, possess more diversified genetics; some of the individual trees could manage to survive in the nature poor climates or other hard situations.

Moreover, the reading passage argues that the genetically modified tree bring more economic benefits. On the contrary, the professor casts doubts about it, because the seeds of modified tree need to cost more than natural ones. Besides, according to the law, the seeds produced by farm themselves are not free either. If they want to plant more trees by their old tree’s seeds, they have to pay for it every time and every year.

Finally, the reading passage reasons that the genetically modified trees can prevent overexploitation due to the growing faster abilities. However, the professor states that the genetically modified tree actually caused a great impair to the natural trees as well as the ecological system. Because of the modified trees grow more aggressively than the natural ones. Consequently, they absorb all the nutrition which crowds out the natural trees.

In conclusion, the professor clearly identified the weakness of the reading passages and convincingly shows that the modified trees outweigh the natural ones are incorrect.

winnie98

TPO 20

The reading passage explores the issue of "let it born" policy, and it contends that will cause serious damage for the vegetation, animals and tourism. However, the professor in the lecture holds opposite opinions, and she argues back by providing three specific reasons to the counterparts which brought up by the reading.(红色标注的句子语法不对。若it指代passage,那其后的that从句没有主语,而这也不可能是定从,因为木有先行词；如果it指代policy,那后面就应该改为which will cause···,如果就是想加上it contends,那请在contends that的从句部分加上主语。)



To start with, the reading assumes that the fire will cause tremendous damage to the vegetations and make it like a devastated wasteland. On the contrary, the professor claims that the fire actually created opportunities for certain small vegetations that needs more open space and un-shadowed environment. Moreover,some plants' seeds need high heat temprature to generates. Therefore, the fire actually contributes to the diversity of the plants.

Secondly, the reading reasons that the fire will affect park wildlife and cause extinct. However, the professor argues that new vegetation after the fire actually provides ideal habitant for certain small animals like rabbits. Moreover, the predators which eat rabbits can get more opportunities to survive too. Therefore, a new food chain is come into being.

Lastly, the reading passage asserts that the fire will influence the local tourism industrial and cause economy drawbacks. On the contrary, the professor claims that if the fire happens every year that will definitely impair the tourism. But the fire only happened once at yellow stone park(Yellowstone Park) due to the abnormal rainfall, strong winds etc. Moreover, the tourism is back to regular after that year and performed good since then. Therefore, it will not necessarily harm the tourism.

In conclusion, the professor clearly indentified(identifies) the weakness of the reading passage and convincingly showed(shows)the fire caused wasteland is incorrect.前几段professor说话一直都用的一般现在时,到这里还是应该保持一致

整体不错，细节都很到位。
还是注意一下语法问题。但这回的综合比上回改的独立的语法好很多。
加油

winnie98

TPO 20

The reading passage explores the issue of "let it born" policy, and it contends that will cause serious damage for the vegetation, animals and tourism. However, the professor in the lecture holds opposite opinions, and she argues back by providing three specific reasons to the counterparts which brought up by the reading.(红色标注的句子语法不对。若it指代passage,那其后的that从句没有主语,而这也不可能是定从,因为木有先行词；如果it指代policy,那后面就应该改为which will cause···,如果就是想加上it contends,那请在contends that的从句部分加上主语。)



To start with, the reading assumes that the fire will cause tremendous damage to the vegetations and make it like a devastated wasteland. On the contrary, the professor claims that the fire actually created opportunities for certain small vegetations that needs more open space and un-shadowed environment. Moreover,some plants' seeds need high heat temprature to generates. Therefore, the fire actually contributes to the diversity of the plants.

Secondly, the reading reasons that the fire will affect park wildlife and cause extinct. However, the professor argues that new vegetation after the fire actually provides ideal habitant for certain small animals like rabbits. Moreover, the predators which eat rabbits can get more opportunities to survive too. Therefore, a new food chain is come into being.

Lastly, the reading passage asserts that the fire will influence the local tourism industrial and cause economy drawbacks. On the contrary, the professor claims that if the fire happens every year that will definitely impair the tourism. But the fire only happened once at yellow stone park(Yellowstone Park) due to the abnormal rainfall, strong winds etc. Moreover, the tourism is back to regular after that year and performed good since then. Therefore, it will not necessarily harm the tourism.

In conclusion, the professor clearly indentified(identifies) the weakness of the reading passage and convincingly showed(shows)the fire caused wasteland is incorrect.前几段professor说话一直都用的一般现在时,到这里还是应该保持一致

整体不错，细节都很到位。
还是注意一下语法问题。但这回的综合比上回改的独立的语法好很多。
加油