Sherryzhangh 加入写作小分队的首篇独立作文，欢迎拍砖！7月7号

sherryzhangh

8月25日

In order to solve the problems ofthe present and the future, people should review the past.

Review the past can assist usabstracting the essence and abandoning the dregs, avoiding unnecessarilymistakes of the present and the future. As far as I am concerned, I could notagree more on we should definitely review the past.

To start with, reviewing the pastcan offer us valuable experiences no matter they are successful experience orfailure one. Whether this experience is from others, or ourselves, more orless, could give us some suggestions on the current issue that we might befacing. By reviewing the past we could quickly identify the possible solutions.Take myself as an example, I had taken TOFEL examination before, because of badplanning and unscientific review method, my scores is unbelievably low. Thisfailure helps to re-think all the plans, and makes more efficient plans. I feelvery confidents about the second test. I believe this failure not only canstimulate my motivation but also can serve as a mirror for my present andfuture success.

Another equally important point isthat reviewing past could also help us to identify the signal and warnings thatissue might displays. And thus avoiding future mistakes and aid us take theproper reactions. Take recently one of the major cities in China’s rainaccident as an example; tragedy happened, a lot of people died in that horrible day due to major roads' water drainage disables.What kind of warning we could get from that. While first of all, we shouldnot go out when it is a downpour day. Secondly, the drainage system is far moretoo weak to protect the city. Further more, the abnormal weather warning usthat we need to do something about the environment.

Admittedly, as the world developing,there are tons of issues that we had never encountered in the past, such asglobal warming, HIV cancer diseases. For those kind issues, reviewing the pastmay not assist much. However, the failure experience of the past that alsocould help us to eliminate the wrong actions that we might take.

In conclusions, reviewing the pastcould offer us valuable experience and identify the alarm signals thereforeavoiding the possible mistakes, it is necessary to get present and futuresuccess.

lemonyhu

TPO23

The reading passage discusses the possible reasons for the yellow cedars’ decline issues. And the author lists three specific possibilities to support his or her claim. However, the professor does not agree with the assertions which bring up by the reading passage, and he argues back the counterparts accordingly.

To start with, the reading assumes one of the possibilities of the yellow cedar declination is insect parasites' harm. On the contrary, the professor states that healthy yellow cedar contains a powerful toxic chemical elements which resistant to the insects and cause insect dead(这块总觉得不对，但也不太知道怎么改). Therefore, the insect parasites are not the fundamental reason of the declination.

Secondly, the reading passages reasons that the brown bears might be the cause. However, the professor evidences thatall the continental and islands are suffered from the declination, given that brown bear only live in the continental but not the islands. Therefore, brown bear is unlikely the reason for（why 是不是比for更好？讨论讨论） yellow cedar drastically drop.

At last, the reading states that the changes of climate might be the possibility, given the global warming,（这部分一句话说完了吧？） the yellow cedar tends to grow in the late winter instead of early spring anymore, consequently, the frozen root damage cause the declination. However, the professor argues back by citing the facts that declination is more severe in the warming regions than the cold regions. Therefore, the climate changes explaination is untenable.（第三个理由我觉得说的稍微有点不够具体，还有海拔啊神马的这种具体的例子如果能多提点，少说些文章的会更好）



总体来说LZ文章很好，细节也基本到位，有一些词组和句子上的小问题~

可以讨论讨论~~~~

喵喵了个咪

8月25日 独立改In order to solve the problems often present and the future, people should review the past.

Review the past can assist us abstracting the essence and abandoning the dregs, avoiding unnecessarily mistakes of the present and the future. As far as I am concerned, I could not agree more on we should definitely review the past.我觉得开头直接写结论不太好。以现象或者引用做铺垫，不仅不那么生硬，而且可以凑字数。和乐不为呢。

To start with, reviewing the past can offer us valuable experiences no matter they are successful experience or failure one(改成success or failure.你文中的有点罗嗦，而且failure是名词用法错误). Whether this experience is from others,or ourselves, more or less, 缺少主语加it could give us some suggestions on the current issue that we might be facing(用一般时即可). By(用through好些) reviewing the past we could quickly identify the possible solutions. Take myself as an example, I had taken TOFEL examination before, because of bad planning and unscientific review method, my scores is(主谓不一致) unbelievably low. This failure helps(helped)me to re-think all the plans, and Imakes(have made a) more efficient plans. I feel very confidents about the second test. I believe this failure not only can stimulate my motivation but also can serve as a mirror for my present and future success.

Another equally important point is that reviewing past could also help us to identify the signal and warnings that issue might displays. And thus avoiding future mistakes and aid us take theproper reactions.(这句话结构完全错了。可以说Thereby avoiding the mistakes we make in the future and aid us to take the proper reactions.) Take recently(副词不能修饰名词或代词) one of the major cities in China’s rain accident as an example;(为什么用分号呢。这块没看懂，望指教) tragedy happened, a lot of people died in that horrible day due to major roads' water drainage disables(时态和结构都有问题system is disabled). What kind of warning(应该是经验教训不是警告吧) we could get from that. While first of all, we should not go out when it is a downpour day. Secondly, the drainage system isfar more too weak to protect the city. Further more(一个单词不能分开), the abnormal weather warning us that we need to do something about the environment.这段的论点与上段相似。既然分为两段。一定是两个明确的观点来论证题目。最好不要类似。

Admittedly, as the world developing country, there are tons of issues that we had never encountered in the past, such as global warming, HIV cancer diseases这些不光是发展中国家吧。或者你段首是想说世界还在发展中，那样的话应该写with the developing of the world. For those kind issues, reviewing the past may not assist much. However, the failure experience of the past that also could help us to eliminate the wrong actions that we might take. 这段想要从反面论证从过去吸取经验教训比较重要，但是从篇幅上看头重脚轻，对固有观点的否定不够具体。只用了一句话概括了观点。可以扩展开来多说一些。

In conclusions, reviewing the past could offer us valuable experiences and identify the alarm signals therefore avoiding the possible mistakes, it is necessary to get present and future success.

总结

1 写作时候注意空格。考试时会按错字算，影响分数。

2 注意句子结构和成分。不要缺少谓语或是主语

3 注意时态。

4 内容上注意下不要在不同的段落论述相似的观点。从不同角度分析题目更有说服力。

5 文章的框架很明确，想要写2点正面论证，一点反面论证。但是觉得可能对题目思考不够。文章内容上有一些问题，我在文中每段最后都注明了。



我水平也比较菜，有哪里说的不好的。咱俩讨论讨论哈~~

sherryzhangh

8月26日

What is the main role of the university professor, toeducate students or to do research?

Ancient Chinese philosopherConfucius defines: teacher, who could propagate the doctrine, impartprofessional knowledge and resolve doubts, which clearly displays three mainfunctions of the teacher. Apparently, according to Confucius, the main role ofthe university professor is to educate students rather to do research. However,we cannot ignore the teacher’s research influence on the university in themodern society.


On one hand, one of teacher’smain responsibilities is propagating the doctrine, imparting professionalknowledge, as well as resolving doubts. Students come to university, they areeager to learn. Therefore, the teacher should focus on how to attract students’attention longer in order to get a better learning result of students. Tobecome good professors, they not only had enthusiasm during their lectures butalso have deep and broad knowledge to guide their students how to apply thebasic theories in practical life. We can’t imagine that if professors onlyteach their students the theories in the textbook, the periods will becomeboring and will not be effect. Therefore, to prepare better educating skillsand material should be teachers’ first priority.

On the other hand, in orderto pursue the advanced teaching material, teacher also should involve in researches.However, it’s only should be subsides for teaching. Because only advanced cutedge researches can better serve students with gradually complicatesprofessional questions. Moreover, the university’s reputation also greatlyinfluenced by the research progress of the university, if the university hassome cut edgy research labs, which not only attracts more students but alsocould bring more funds for the university. Therefore, the university couldstand out in the parallel relative competitor universities. And the studentscan be better educated than others.

In conclusion, to educatestudents and doing research is equally important in the modern university; wecannot jump to the decision to quickly.
实在是憋不出来太多了......

fairyfinger

Undoubtedly, related well couldindeed maximally optimized the resources, hence individual student is more readily to be successful. On the other hand, given that the students’ mainresponsibility and mission are study, emphasizing too much on related well isjust like put the incidental before the fundamental. However, none of those areunconditional. As far as I am concerned, it should depend on the conditions. Myreasons are as follows.

Traditionally, school is a place forstudy; the students should focus on their studies not others. But school alsocould serve differently according to the level of grade, study content. Such as middle school and high school, the students are facing more pressure on enrollment of the university. Therefore, it will be absurd if the studentsfocus their attentions on building relationships or networks. Similarly, someuniversities is more focus on the scientific research studies, the students aremore required study well than relate well. Only if students work hard on theirresearch studies, they could get more credits to be successful. In such cases,the students should focus on the studies instead of relative（relationship） well.

On the other hand, some schools are more focus on related (relating) well side. By that I mean business schools and socialstudy schools. Take MBA School as an example, in the top business school suchas Harvard, Yale, Stanford etc. Their alumnus could be very influential.这两句应该合起来。否则前面一句没说完 Therefore, building networks could play a vital role for their success. Somesuccessful businessman’s main motivation for applying for those schools ismerely networks. For them, school is more like a place for them to meet morepeople who share the same interests rather than focus on the hard studythemselves. Therefore, in such cases, related well seems more considerable thanhard study.

Admittedly, no matter what the situations are, the prerequisite for being success is individual possesses the essential skills. （individual possession of essential skills) Otherwise it will be like a fully filled car without any engine; a magnificent building without any foundation. Needless to say, none of them are even close to success.

Take all into accounts as discussedabove, study is the prerequisite of the success; related well plays well afters tudents possessed skills. It will be too irrational to jump into the answer of which is more important than other. Therefore, which one is more important is really depends on the specific times and situations.

steigen

8.26 独立 修改
Ancient Chinese philosopher Confucius defines: teacher, who could propagate the doctrine, impart professional knowledge and resolve doubts, which clearly displays three main functions(obligations) of the teacher.Apparently, according to Confucius, the main role of the university professor is to educate studentsrather（rather than） to do research.(前面两句承接的有点突兀，在第一句之后再有个过渡句就感觉更好了) However, we cannot ignore the teacher’s research influence on the university in the modern society.

On one hand, one of teacher’s main responsibilities is propagating the doctrine, imparting professional knowledge, as well as resolving doubts.(这个三个点在开头就已经引用过，有种重复了的感觉，能再改写下就更好了) Students come to university, they are eager to learn. Therefore, the teacher should focus on how to attract students’ attention longer in order to get a better learning result of students. To become good professors, they should not only had(注意时态，have) enthusiasm during their lectures, but also have deep and broad knowledge（To become good professors, they should have not only enthusiasm for lecture but profound knowledge as well） to guide their students how to apply the basic theories in practical life. We can’t imagine that if professors only teach their students the theories in the textbook, the periods will become boring and will not be effect（inefficient）. Therefore, to prepare better educating skill sand material(?) should be teachers’ first priority.
On the other hand, in order to pursue the advanced teaching material, teacher also should involve in researches. However, it’s only should be subsides(查了一下subside 只有动词用法) for teaching. Because only advanced cut edge researches can better serve students with gradually complicates(complicated) professional questions. Moreover, the university’s reputation also greatly influenced by the research progress of the university, if the university has some cut edgy research labs, which not only attracts more students but also couldbring more funds for the university.（这个fund部分可以再拓展）Therefore, the university could stand out in the parallel relative competitor universities. And the students can be better educated than others.
In conclusion, to educate students and doing research is equally important in the modern university; we cannot jump to the decision to quickly.
字数大概是在280左右，感觉想要拿高分，怎么也要到300字吧。觉得有很多论点蛮出彩的。可以从优秀的教学质量很自然的过度到research，这个小女子很是受用啊。小小建议就是，句子需要精炼一些，过渡自然一些就好了。 觉得有的改的不对的地方，咱一起好好讨论讨论哈~~~

sherryzhangh

恩,我就是太不能扯了,所以这个字数写不上去.  其实像你说的那个FUNDS还能扯上一段,把字数写上去.这个太受用了!谢谢.

陈喵喵holdon

sherry昨天的综合是还没有写嘛??

sherryzhangh

TPO 24

To start with, the reading passage assumes the remains that found in the channels are blood vessels. On the contrary, the professor states that the remains is not necessarily from T rex. And he suggests it might be just some bacteria that using the channels as a residential area, and leaves trace in it as we saw today as the soft moisture tissues.

Secondly, the reading asserts that the remains could be the blood red cells. However, the professor argues that the T rex may not have any red blood cells. It might be just some radishes minerals. Therefore, the reading passages’ statement is untenable.

At last, the reading passage reasons that the remains might be collagen matrix. On the contrary, the professor argues back by citing the evidence that collagen usually do not live more than 100,000 years. Apparently, the 7 million years T rex is not possible to leave any collagen. And the professor suggests it might be the source of others, such as the skin of the researchers when they pass the fossils.

In conclusion, the professor clearly indentifies the weakness of the reading and convincingly shows the remains in fossils is not necessarily from the T rex .

sherryzhangh

The reading passage and the professor's lecture are both explore the issue of whether the four-day’s work is benefits to the company and the employees or not. The reading passage uses three reasons to support the four day works. However, the professor cast doubts and provides his own insights of the four days work option.

To Start with, the reading passage assumes the four days work not only can increase profits for company, but also can reduce errors. Moreover, no extra costs for hire more people. On the contrary, the professor explains that could result in spending more than before. Because of adding new workers need to offer trainings and health insurance benefit, as well as more working spaces and computers. Therefore, it seems more costing than the five days work.

Secondly, the reading passage reasons that four-day’s work could reduce unemployment rates. However, the professor argues that the company may not hire more people like we expected they might just ask the work overtime or finish the five-day’s work in four days, which may cause work feel unpleasant.

At last, the reading passage states that the individual also could benefits from it because of more family time, private interests’ time and enjoy leisure life. However, the professor claims that may cause the decreasing of their job abilities hence put them in the risk position. Because of they might be the first to lose their jobs in the economic downside. Moreover, it will likely to pass their opportunities to be promoted. Apparently, the company would like to promote the five-days workers who is more dedicated and committed to their works.