Sherryzhangh 加入写作小分队的首篇独立作文，欢迎拍砖！7月7号

guodonghu

谢谢sherry的修改。文章里面的一些地方修改以后读起来很好。我以后会多注意练习避免适用性别歧视的词汇。
你也加油，坚持写，进步肯定会飞快的。

sherryzhangh

The reading passage explored the issue of whether salvage logging, which is the practice of removing dead trees from damage areas and use it for other purpose. Should be encouraged or not. The professor’s lecture deals the same topic. However, the professor holds the opposite statement compared with the reading passage author who is favor of the salvage logging. She uses 3 specific points to support her idea accordingly.

To begin with, the reading passage assumes that after fire damage, it is hard and takes years for dead trees to decompose. Moreover, it will occupy the spaces of the fresh tree needed. Hence it should be removed in order to help the forest to recover. On the other hand, the professor claims that clear up won't be necessary help fresh tree to grow up faster. In addition, rapidly remove the dead tree instead of let the tree decomposed won't do any help for enrich the soil. Therefore, it is better to just let the dead tree naturally decompose to the soil.

Secondly, the reading passage contends that the dead tree will benefits the harmful insect such as spruce bark beetle. On the contrary, the professor states that the dead tree will not only will benefit the harmful insects but also the good ones. Besides, the professor also asserts that the harmful beetles have no recorded or example cause of forest environmental unbalance.

Thirdly, the reading passage claims that salvage logging also will improve economic and help to creates more jobs for local residents. On the other hand, the professor doubted the salvage logging will do any long term good for the economics. Moreover, she indicates that it will only bring temporary jobs for outsider instead of local residents.



In conclusion, the professor clearly identified the weaknesses of the reading passage and convincingly shows that the salvage logging is incorrect.

sherryzhangh

7月24号 独立
Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement? There is never a reason to be rude (impolite) to another person. Usespecific reasons to support your answer.

Have you ever-encountered boss using figure pointat you and neck goes red? Have you ever been yelled by a difficult customer?The list will go on. If you have, you should hold the same opinion as I do, whichis no one in this world had the rights being rude to others.  

To begin with, as the gradually fiercer competitiongrowing in this world, more pressures had been undertaken, the pace of livinggoes faster than ever, the communication between people actually goes moreintense, the patience was run out more easily than ever. Service commercializedmade this world easier to live with, but it will also make some clients takethe hard service work for granted. Besides, some people just had hot-temper, inaddition, they likes to challenge people. But some other may just had a roughday; they need to release the angry out. The resemblance outcome for thosepeople is they may just take it on the person around them such as family andpeople who provide service to them. Imaging how inappropriate it is. Peopleshould just switch their standpoints and have more consideration of others.

Moreover, taken the pressure on someone else, fromphysically and psychologically isn’t do any good for yourself either. Frommedical points, Once people goes angry, you blood pressure will goes up, yourheart beats will goes faster, your brain will filled with blood, and all thosewill add more dangerous effects on your body. In addition, once you takenpressure to some one, you might get regrets afterward, you may feel guilty. Itwill make you become an unhappy person. Take myself as an example, when I gothrough a rough time, my patience will run out easily when I talk with myparents. Which will hurt their feelings and make them more worried about me.Although parents will not leave me for this reason, it’s just will make thingworse and the communication harder. Therefore, we should never rude to anyone,especially to our parents.

Admittedly, Some people may claims it’s because thepeople who provide service didn’t meet their requirement and consequentlycaused a great lose. However, roaring at the service people won’t make thethings goes better, sometimes even make thing worse than before. If it isreally necessary we should go through legal action, let the judge decided ifanyone need to be punished.

Inconclusion, we should never being rude to someone else, for try to building amore harmony world sake, for try to set a better role model for the nextgeneration sake.

lawlietcoco

Have you ever-encountered boss using figure pointat you and neck goes red? Have you ever been yelled by a difficult customer?The list will go on. If you have, you should hold the same opinion as I do, whichis no one in this world had the rights being rude to others.  
Should->will definitely
As I do->with me
To begin with, as the gradually fiercer competitiongrowing in this world, more pressures had been undertaken, the pace of livinggoes
More pressures have been suffered
faster than ever, the communication between people actually goes moreintense, the patience was run out more easily than ever. Service
三个句子连在一起不能没有连词，要么就用分号隔开来~
commercializedmade this world easier to live with, but it will also make some clients takethe hard service work for granted. Besides, some people just had hot-temper, 应该用句号重新开始句子inaddition, they likes to challenge people. But some other may just had a roughday; they need to release the angry out. The resemblance outcome for thosepeople is they may just take it on the person around them such as family andpeople who provide service to them. Imaging how inappropriate it is. Peopleshould just switch their standpoints and have more consideration of others.
这一段的说理不是很清晰，其实可以写一个稍微详细的例子，效果会更好。我们应该尽量避免大段的理论叙述，应为我们的写作功底不是那么好，长篇大论很容易词不达意。

Moreover, taken the pressure on someone else, fromphysically and psychologically isn’t do any good for yourself either. Frommedical points, Once people goes angry, you blood pressure will goes up, yourheart beats will goes faster, your brain will filled with blood, and all thosewill add more dangerous effects on your body. In addition, once you takenpressure to some one, you might get regrets afterward, you may feel guilty. Itwill make you become an unhappy person. Take myself as an example, when I gothrough a rough time, my patience will run out easily when I talk with myparents. Which will hurt their feelings and make them more worried about me.Although parents will not leave me for this reason, it’s just will make thingworse and the communication harder. Therefore, we should never rude to anyone,especially to our parents.

Admittedly, Some people may claims it’s（这里最好不要用it 因为有指代不清的嫌疑）because thepeople who provide service didn’t meet their requirement and consequentlycaused a great lose. However, roaring at the service people won’t make thethings goes better, sometimes even make thing worse than before. If it isreally necessary we should go through legal action, let the judge decided ifanyone need to be punished.

Inconclusion, we should never being rude to someone else, for try to building amore harmony world sake, for try to set a better role model for the nextgeneration sake.
楼主的中文想法应该是逻辑清晰的，但是落实到英文写作就觉得不是那么的地道，应该尝试用一些数据 例子来说明问题。ETS要的是写作功底，逻辑不是那么的重要。

sherryzhangh

7月25号 独立＋综合  7月25日110304NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The most important problems in today’s world will be solved in our lifetime.


As the increasingly rapid changing of the modernworld. Human beings seems achieved a great deal of control of the world bytechnology, as well as more cultivated civilization. However, the war in themiddle east hasn’t been ceased for one day; Myriads of children in Africa stillgone through starvation and health issue; the developing country areencountering contradiction between the gradually developed economic and lesscompleted democracy and human rights issue; Moreover, the most prevalent butcontroversial issue, Global warming is still troubled this world. As for as Iam concerned, hardly can there be any problems be solved in our lifetime.
To start with, as the population roaring, moreconsuming requires thus the energy resource war become gradually fierce thanever. Although modern technology allowed the alternative energies such as solarand nuclear, wind to replace oil. The instability and inconsistence of those energiesstill make a great contribution for oil resources war. Consequently the war inMiddle East becomes more complicated than ever. In additions to the politicaland religious contradiction between each nation. Therefore, complicated it isindeed to solve the problem in our lifetime.
Another equally important point is global warming.As the modern city’s development, each family, buildings, cars hasair-conditioning system, they produced tons of Carbon dioxide. In additions tothe heavy industrial and vehicles emits. Had made the global warming severerthan ever. Though unite unions has distributed much endeavor on reduce theCarbon dioxide by legal actions, the commercialized measurement still hasn’tdecline the outcome by money penalties. Consequently more glaciers are meltedthus the water covered and impaired more cultivatable land. Needless to say howharmful it is to the world.
Admittedly, Technology did offer some alternativesolve methods such as use electricity to replace oil for vehicles. However, theout coming issue such as all the vehicles and infrastructures needs to bereplaced. It does undoubtedly necessitate much more endeavor and even law toexecute it. Which is still a challenge to most of the countries’ and regions.
In conclusion, it is unlikely any problems could becompletely solved in our lifetime due to the limited resources and time andhuman efforts.

TPO 16 综合

The reading passage explored the issue of downside of theBritish new guidelines for archaeology, which is the modern development haddestroyed the valuable artifacts of the British. Howerver, The professor in the lecture holds theoppiste ideas.

To start with,the reading passages states that modern construction has destroed a large mountof valuable artifacts. However, the professor argues that modern British hadcreated new guidelines for the construction procedure. Before there is any construction, The land has to beexamed by certain archaelogical department. If there are any archaelogicalvalue to be found. The accordingly action will be taken by the experts andconstruction company by either well categorized the artifacts or protect thelocation by move the construction site.

Moreover, Thereading passage claims that the financial support is inadequet compared withpast. whears the prodessor contends that the initial exam fee will be providedby the construction company. Which allowed the archaelogist toprocede a great range of researches before anything happened?At last, thereading passage argues, because of low pay and rare of the archaeology jobposition could offer. Many people who wanted to become archaeologists couldn'tpursue their passion instead of give up. On the contrary, the professor claimsthat more jobs actually created by the modern construction. More construction site need to be examed.Therefore more jobs postion for researches has been porvided. Moreover,if the site was categorized as the valuable site. More jobs could be created bynext step job needs.
In conclusion, the professor clearly identified theweakness of the reading passage and convincingly show the modern constructionhas harmed the archaeology is incorrect.

小兔爱twins

The reading passage explored the issue of downside of theBritish new guidelines for archaeology（表述的不够准确，阅读的内容并不是new guideline的downside，而是描述了整个考古界的一些limitation），, which is the modern development had destroyed the valuable artifacts of the British（总起段主要是说在大环境有缺陷，楼主说些的是第一个观点所描述的问题）. Howerver, The professor in the lecture holds the oppiste ideas.（professor介绍了new guideline带来的3个areas 的improvement）


To start with,the reading passages states that modern construction has destroed（拼写） a large mount（应该是amount ，mount是坐骑的意思）of valuable artifacts. However, the professor argues that modern British had created（用词很中文，，用implemented比较好） new guidelines for the construction procedure. Before （there is any去掉） construction, The land（land，，太中式的表达 用原文的site） has to be examed by certain archaelogical department（不准确。。。是by 考古学者才对）. If there are any archaelogical value （去掉to be） found .（从句逗号，这里句号不对） The accordingly action （副词修饰名词？） will be taken by the experts （准确来说听力中是让相关人士聚集起来 讨论一个plan来preserve artifacts）and construction company by either well categorized（分类？？？ 是要表达保存的意思吗？用听力原文的preserve比较恰当） the artifacts or protect the location（保护位置？保护地点？？） by move the construction site.(不准确)


Moreover, The reading passage claims that the financial support is inadequet compared withpast（阅读只说不够没有说比以前少。。）. （，逗号）whears the prodessor拼写 contends（这个contend用词太重了吧，，用cites says就行） that the initial examination and other work carried out under preservation will be provided by the construction company. Which allowed the archaelogist toprocede a great range of researches before anything happened（比之前多。。）


At last, the reading passage argues, because of low pay（语法错而且阅读没有说工资低） and rare of the archaeology job position could offer（语法错）。。。。。。。. （Many去掉） people who wanted to become archaeologists couldn't pursue their passion instead of give up（没太明白所要表达的）. On the contrary, the professor claims that more jobs actually created by the modern construction（不对 是new guideline 创造了考古付费的job的opportunity的提升）. More construction site need to be examed.Therefore more jobs postion for researches has been porvided. Moreover,if the site was categorized as the valuable site. More jobs could be created bynext step job needs.（听力要加强。。。。）


In conclusion, the professor clearly identified theweakness of the reading passage and convincingly show the modern constructionhas harmed the archaeology is incorrect.


格式方面 注意要空格啊。
造句遣词方面 楼主建议你可以从翻译开始一步步做 在表达上有所欠缺 可能是想要表达出很亮的句子但是在用词上有一些画蛇添足，语法上也有硬伤
内容方面 小作文这一块不需要太闪亮的文笔 听力内容是大关键 所以楼主还要多加强听力的联系 因为文章中还是存在不准确的地方

sherryzhangh

谢谢小兔的中肯建议, 我的听力是该加强了.谢谢!

hui刀

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩红色为错误

As the increasingly rapid changing of themodern world, Human beings seems(seem主谓一致) achieved agreat deal of control of the world by technology, as well as more cultivatedcivilization. However, the war in the middle east hasn’t been ceased for oneday; Myriads of children in Africa still gone(go) through starvation and health issue; the developing country are encounteringcontradiction between the gradually developed economic and less completeddemocracy and human rights issue; Moreover, the most prevalent but controversialissue, Global warming is still troubled this world. As for(far)as I am concerned, hardly can there be any problems be solved in our lifetime.

To start with, as the population roaring, more consumingrequires thus the energy resource war become(becomes) graduallyfierce than ever. Although modern technology allowed the alternative energiessuch as solar and nuclear, wind to replace oil. The instability and inconsistenceof those energies still make a great contribution for oil resources war.Consequently the war in Middle East becomes more complicated than ever. Inadditions to the political and religious contradiction between each nation.(这句有缺失，in addition to应该只是引导从句 ) Therefore,complicated it is indeed to solve the problem in our lifetime.

Another equally important point is global warming. As themodern city’s development, each family, buildings,cars（building or car） has air-conditioning system,they produced tons of Carbon dioxide. In additions to the heavy industrial and vehicles emits. Had made the global warming severer than ever.(整个句子没有主语与上句合并较好，In addition, the heavy industry and vehicles emitshave made global warming severer than ever) Thoughunite unions has distributed much endeavor on reduce(reducing)the Carbon dioxide by legal actions, the commercialized measurement stillhasn’t decline the outcome by money penalties. Consequently more glaciers are meltedthus the water covered and impaired more cultivatable land. Needless to say howharmful it is to the world.

Admittedly, technology did offer some alternative solvemethods such as use electricity to replace oil for vehicles. However, the outcoming issue such as all the vehicles and infrastructures needs to be replaced.It does undoubtedly necessitate much more endeavor and even law to execute it. Whichis still a challenge to most of the countries’ and regions. （which修饰的是？）


In conclusion, it is unlikely any problems could becompletely solved in our lifetime due to the limited resources and time andhuman efforts.
看得出来楼主功底很好，长句子，大词信手拈来!很是羡慕~
问题就是经常忘了空格，和句子成分不完整；如果仔细检查，相信楼主能更上一层楼！

sherryzhangh

7月26日101030NA Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement? People are now easier to become educated than in the past.

As the gradual fiercer and increasing developedeconomy, people realized only acquire enough knowledge can improve the survivalcapacity. The individual’s willingness correspondent with government’s endeavormakes education more accessible than the past.

To start with, as the GDP and average incomes uprising, people had more financial capacities compared with the past. Take Chinaas an example, China has been through the rapidly changing and roaring growingeconomic; moreover , China has 30 years one child policy, Which created China’sunique national character, one children surrounded by 4 grandparents, 2 youngparents, needless to say the children will get everything she/he wanted, ofcourse, including the best education. Simultaneously, more education format hasbeen developed. From technical college to academic universities, even thecontinues college, as long as you have the willingness, you could apply and getenrolled by those universities or colleges. Even if someone lack of financialsupport, bank loans with no interests for students are available. Moreover, thecontinued school or universities are reachable for those grow up who still wantto get education. Therefore, financial support and diversity education formatprovides more opportunities and accessibility for modern people.

Another equally important point is that thegovernment also made a considerable endeavor for education. The governmentprovided more fiscal cost every year. Moreover, Government also encouragesprivate college and universities by offering more tax-free policies. Inaddition, the high payment and package welfare for teacher that provided by thegovernment and school attracted more qualified teacher committed in education.

Admittedly, There are still some undeveloped areawhere could not provide enough accessibility of education. However, that notnecessarily says no education at all for them. Simple reading and writing skillare still achievable. Compared with big cities and more developed area, effortstill need to be made.

In conclusion, more financial capability, divertingformat of education, provide more opportunities for modern people to achieveeducation.
TPO 17

The reading passage explored the issue of the growing population caused growing agriculture has declined the birds. However, the professor holds the opposite opinion, she use 3 specific points to supports her idea.

To start with, the reading passage claims that the human population caused more forests, wetlands and grassland convert into homes, mall, and offices, and consequently the suitable areas for birds had decreased. Therefore, the size of the bird dramatically declined, some even vanished. On the other hand, the professor argues that there are some urban effects on some bird, but also they had provide more suitable area to others, apparently, they even grow and reproduced more than before. It's not a uniformed decline for all birds. Some shrinks and some growth.

Moreover, the reading passage assumes that growing human population with the corresponding growth of agriculture consequently destroyed the habitats thus the harmful for the birds. However, the professor states that not growing population not necessitate the increasing of the agriculture of the land. In fact, they are less and less land was cultivated into former land. The new generated crops were introduced. As a result, no extreme land was needed.

Thirdly, the professor believes that the Pesticides did cause some negative effect on the environment thus to the birds, But the action has been take by two possible changes. One is new pesticides with less toxic has been invented. The other is crop which is unattractive to pest has been developed. Therefore, the pesticides downside has been resolved and less harmful to the birds

In conclusion, the professor clearly indentified the weakness of the reading passage and convincingly show the growth of the population has caused the birds decline is incorrect.

kchszy061ban

sherry童鞋，我马上写综合作文额。 偷懒了，给你道歉。I am really sorry！