作文求助~

Crystaljoy

（开头有点僵硬，最好加一个引子。可以交代具体一点的背景之类。我试着写个哈Movies and television are now said to be the most popular activities to help people relax and unwind.）Asked what movies and television will do to teenagers, parents and teachers nowadays have a boilerplate answer: the greatest effect of them will be to guide the youth in wrong way.（will be to do 很少见啊。they most lead teenagers to go astray.） I claim, on the contrary, that movies and television have positive influence on young people.

The role of motivation of some movies tops the list of expediencies.（这里可以加一句阐释观点的。） A recent survey made by Sociology Department of Fudan University, one of the most prestige universities in China, reveals that 67% of the interviewees regarded movies aswell(删除) impetus for them to overcome the difficulties in their life, especially the movies like Forrest Gump and Black Swan. It is this kind of movies （that） inspires them to step forward(?别扭) and be optimism（optimistic） about the world.

There has always been (is 不需完成时吧) another remarkable advantage(brought by movies and TV programs. 段首句最好是带上关键词的完整句。): because of(because后面跟句子，because of 跟N) increasing movies focus on the environmental problems, young people begin to realize the significance of issues like extinction of animals, slashing of the forestcoverage and the impact（by-product） of industrialization. Young people are (As) the pioneers of the environmental protection activities and(, the young 可以整合成一句) have done majority of (related) non-governmental organization jobs. In this condition, how can people say the movies play more negative role?

Nevertheless, some people still believe the movies and televisions have bad impact on the youth, since the violent and pornographic elements in the television will pose a huge threat to society. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. (This is because)If the teenagers are guided to watch television, these elements will not have (exert such) bad consequences. It is the answer spoken by teachers and parents, who sent a message to the questionnaire conducted by Educational bureau.（这句话感觉有点多余。it指什么？）All these concluded（conclude） the same result that movies and television are not so negative(, to some extent).

For all the reasons listed, it is time(这个后面的时态好像要过去式，不建议用，容易晕。) to encourage more active（？positive？） movies and television instead of blaming for their negative influence on the youth. Movies and television are part of what made（时态，句式都怪。wonderful platform to educate）young people more excellent.



总体感觉：

结构，观点，词汇都不错啦！

小建议：


1. 语言有些生硬，就是感觉像模版一样不够生动。建议多用adj啦，后置定语修饰关键词。开头和结尾都比较平淡了，开头建议再具体一点，或者准备几个闪光巨型，结尾总结性再增强一点，用上逻辑标志词。


2. 句子之间逻辑联系不够紧密，显得意思很散。多体现上下文联系，多用逻辑关联词，因果词，想方设法让文章显得逻辑层层推进浑然一体的样子。

考试加油~

teresaz318

6.3 TPO11

The lecture completely rejects the idea shown in the passage about the problemscaused by the decreasing audience of literature-novels 没有literature-novels这词把就literature就好了. In the professor's opinion, peopleshould not worry about this tendency.

The professor contradictsthe first point in the passage that because of reading lessliterature, public will lose important benefits（publicwill lose important benefits because of reading less literature ）.The professor contends that other kinds of book like（such as, like 不是正式的举例）science-fiction , which are also own (have) high quality. They are more(听力中好像没有讲more, 我认为also ascreative as literatures就好) creative than the novels and encourage audience to exercise 有点怪their imagination.

The speaker goes on to oppose the claim of the author that young people spendmore time on other entertainments may lower the level of culture in general. Onthe contrary, the professor argues that there are plenty of otherentertainments like music and movies, which express directly to easyunderstanding. So, these entertainments absolutely will not lower culturalstandard.

Finally, the listening（material）challenges the last viewpoint in the reading materialthat less audience leads to fewer talent writers, which will be a big loss forsociety. The professor reminds us that it is not audience's fault to pay lessattention to the literature but the writers. The modernliterature writers nowadays make the novels difficult to understand, whichleads to less audience.

joan31217

MM 你还没帮我改6.2号的独立写作，还有6.3号的综合。 有空帮我改下吧，谢谢~~~~~~~~

jasmine35

TPO12
The lecture completely rejects the main idea shown in the passage about the authority（没太理解这个词用在这里的意思） of Jane Austen's portrait. In the professor's opinion, the reasons in the passage are not convincing and the portrait is not teenager Jane Austen.

The professor contradicts the first point in the reading that Jane Austen's family recognized it as Jane Austen's portrait. The professor argues that at that time, Jane Austen has been died 70 years. So, even the family members have not seen Jane by themselves, let alone known her certainly.

The speaker goes on to oppose the claim of the author that the features in the portrait are similar to those in the portrait of adult Jane Austen. On the contrary, the professor argues that Jane had an extended and large family. (on the contrary貌似不能连接两个句子) There are a lot of teenagers in the family who may look like Jane. In fact, the portrait is one of Jane's distant relatives.

Finally, the listening（不知道这个词用在这里是否合适） challenges the last viewpoint in the material about the evidence of the time when the picture created. The professor reminds us that a stamp on the back of the canvas revealed the picture's time. The seller of the canvas did not sell canvas in London at that time. (个人觉得that指代不是很清楚) Actually, he sold the canvas when Jane was older.

LZ听力很好呢，细节什么的很准确，佩服佩服~~

超级无敌小鹤鹤

If you need to discuss upsetting or controversial problems with others, you will use e-mail or text messaging, OR use the telephone or voice-messaging

Asked what kind of means of communication will someone choose when he or she wants to discuss upsetting or controversial problems with others, people may have a stereotype: In order to solve the problem as soon as possible, one should resort to telephone and text messages. I claim, on the contrary, that E-mail is an ideal way to discuss problems.

Convenience and economy top the list of expediencies. Just uses an Iphone or Ipad to connect to the internet, one can send E-mailsat anytime and anywhere(at 搭配anytime是可以的，但是不能一起搭配anywhere). Moreover, it also saves me a lot of money. A recent survey made by Fudan University, one of the most prestigious universities in China, reveals that compared with other means like telephone and messaging, E-mail saves more than ten yuan a month to communicate, for the fee of telephone and messaging is much more expensive than that of internet service. It is the E-mail that made(makes) our cost of communication cheaper.

Surely, there has always been another remarkable advantage: E-mail is more likely to express matters well since there is less limitation in the words. I want to thank E-mail, which solves my myriad of problems in my life. I remember the time I studied in American and far away from parents. One day I had some conflicts with my best friend Mary. Then I sent an E-mail to my mom and expressed my feeling in long passage. She understood my situation and gave me many suggestions from her experience, which were very helpful. Consequently, Mary and I became best friends again. Hardly can I deal with such a problem without E-mail.

Nevertheless, there are still some people believe we should choose telephone in emergency situation, while E-mail may not be checkedquickly(in time). But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. In modern society, majority people are used to check their E-mail everyday for work, for study and for communication. So E-mail is more efficiently to handle a problem.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applaud E-mail for discussion instead of other low -efficiency methods. E-mail is part of what made our puzzles more easily solved.

这篇文章写得不错，出了一些小细节需要注意外，基本上没有什么问题。

lxc1989614

TPO16
发现这几天的综合都已经练过了，发一篇TPO16吧，虽然没人改，发着玩玩
The lecture completely rejects the idea shown in the passage about the worry of the old cultural artifacts' protection. In the professor's opinion, the new guide line in this field has changed this situation.

The professor contradicts the first point in the passage that some valuable artifacts were destroyed by some construction projects. The professor contends that nowadays before the construction, there is always an exam by the archeologists to value the interest of the artifacts. If it should be protected, the government will set up a plan of reservation before the new construction begins.

The speaker goes on to oppose the claim of the author that government has changed priorities which leads to inadequate financial support. On the contrary, the professor argues that artifacts protection is paid by construction companies. The new source of support helps researchers do research in far and greater range than past.

Finally, the listening material challenges the last viewpoint in the reading material that because of the few positions available, there are fewer experts in the archeology field. The professor reminds us that the researchers in the protection process are all be paid, from exam to data report, which promotes the chances for more experts  in this field.

vanessa923

6.4
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should encourage their children to do their schoolwork independently rather than help children to do their schoolwork.

Asked what should parents do（parents should do) when their children have some school work to do , majority of parents in China have stereotype: It is parents' responsibilities to guide their children in the assignments to get better grade(grades). I claim, on the contrary, that it is better for kids to do school work independently.

Avoiding mistakes in the future studytops the list of expediencies. Learning from the mistakes and correct them, leading to improvement in the next time.(这里语法好像有点不对，而且要先改正再学习啊。你看这样会不会更好？ correcting the mistakes and learning from them leads to improvement the next time.) A recent survey made by Fudan University, one of the most prestigious universities in China, reveals that compared with the kids who finish assignments under the help of their parents, their counterparts do better in the final exams. According to this research, about ten points higher in math test, five in English and seven in science. It is doing school independently (that )make a student stand out.

Surely, there has always been another remarkable advantage: finishing assignment on one's own elevates one's thinking ability. I want to thank my parents. They often encourage me to do school work independently and rarely assist me, which allowed me to think deeper and further. It benefits me not only in the study but also in my life, especially in my social interaction with others. It enables me to analyze the situation and to understand others better. Hardly can we gain this under parents' help.(例子受教了！）

Nevertheless, there are some people still believe that parents should help students to do school work to reduce their（their指代不明） pressure. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. What will happen if a student attend SAT test without others' assistant? （个人认为可以再加几个排比问句，这样会更有气势哦。）Children may face myriad of challenges in his or her life without their parents in the near future.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applaud inspiring students doing school work independently instead of helping them. Being independently(independent) is part of what made students outstanding.（结尾联系前文总结会不会更好？ As I mentioned,being independent is part of what make students outstanding not only in their study,but also in their life,can't we say it's better for them to develop their independence as early as possible?

总结：
楼主写的不错呢。感觉例子什么的也很贴近主题。受教了！

lxc1989614

6月5日110130 ML
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People now are less happy and less satisfied than people in the past.

We live in a world where skyscrapers are emerging like bamboo shoots and at the same time the pace of life is accelerating. Indeed, we do benefit a lot from the advanced life, however, to some extent, it also pose a huge threat to people's satisfaction with their life.

First and foremost, people who live in the cities are overwhelmed by the heavy burdens of life, especially the youth. Young people are likely to face higher taxes, less generous benefits and longer working hours in order to cope with the soaring good price. More immediately, more expensive houses and scarcely job have even made tougher time. Pressure caused by unemployment will bring about severe social problems. A latest survey shows that the stress caused by modern society has a certain connection with the increasing of criminal rate. It is the pressure from life that makes people dissatisfied with their life.

In addition, the relationship among people is not as intimate as before. Many of us spend all day in front of computer to finish work or assignment. Modern technologies enable us to get abundant of information but also deprive us from face to face communication. Children start to spend more time on their own rather than accompany with their family members. Students make friends through Facebook and Twitter instead of participating in extra-curriculum activities. Hardly can we feel satisfied in such an unfamiliar social relationship.

Nevertheless, there are still some people believe we are happier than past, since we enjoy higher living standard from industrialization. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. Pollution is another crucial issue we should pay attention to. Water shortage is chronic and blue sky is now gray. Car emission undermines the citizen's health condition. The old are more likely to suffer from lung cancer compare to their counterparts several decades ago. All these concluded the same result that our life is not satisfied.

For all the reasons listed, we have to burden heavier pressure, endure more severe pollution and deal with the social interaction problem. How can one say we enjoy a more happy and satisfied life?

lxc1989614

The lecture completely rejects the idea shown in the passage about the three methods to protect Torreya trees. In the professor's opinion, none of the ways is an ideal option to produce satisfied results.

The professor contradicts the first option in the passage that reestablishing Torreya in the location in which it once thrived because of the suitable microclimate. The professor contends that that area has been changed, since the microclimate is subject to other factors such as climate change. Nowadays, the global warming has increased temperature in that area and the wet land becomes drier. All these are not like the condition long time ago.

The speaker goes on to oppose the claim of the author that moving Torreya to a new cooler area such as further north area. On the contrary, the professor argues that people used to bring another kind of trees to the new environment, but it spreaded to fast and killed other endangered trees in that area, which caused some unpredictable consequence. So, it will not be a good choice.

Finally, the listening material challenges last viewpoint in the reading material that protecting Torreya in research center so that people can preserve it and conduct research. The professor reminds us that this way does no good to the trees' resistance of diseases. Only the large and diverse wild area can improve the population of the trees, while the research center is lacking capacity, which hardly helps the trees to deal with the diseases in long term.

In short, the points in the listening are different from what the passage says.

lxc1989614

6月9日101030 NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People are now easier to become educated than in the past.

Asked whether people nowadays are easier to become educated, majority people have a stereotype: because of too much distraction from outside, people, especially the youth, are less likely to be educated. I claim, on the contrary, that with the increasing number of methods to access to the knowledge, people are easier to be educated.

Cutting- edge technology tops the list of feasible ways. The internet and online classroom enable us with abundant of knowledge. A recent survey made by Fudan University, one of the most prestigious universities in China, reveals that compare with the last generation, its counterpart have more opportunities to realize their dream of higher education through online universities. According to this research, the number of people with bachelor’s degree has increased 52% in a decade. It is advanced technology that made us receive education with ease.

Surely, there is always another remarkable approach: being educated through mass media. I want to thank myriad of television programs such as discovery and BBC documentaries, which offer me an opportunity to absorb fore front knowledge. As the fan of these programs, I have equipped with a wide range of knowledge in the fields like science, medicine and law, which also helpful in my career and major learning. Hardly can we gain such useful knowledge without mass media.

Nevertheless, there are still some people believe that because of too many choices, many people give up the chance of education and resort to other interests. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. In order to encourage more young people to receive higher education, universities in our country have enlarged scale and set a rule to attract more students, which works very well.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applaud more ways to offer education chances instead of limited traditional methods. Advanced technology, mass media and government's support are part of what made people easier educated.