作文求助~

婷婷connie

婷婷飘过~
Parents should help children to do their work or encourage children to do their work independently
红色错误，蓝色疑问，高亮精彩哦

好久没有来看lxc的文章了，挑刺来了


In this increasing(increasingly用副词修饰形容词，其实用skyrocket更形象，eg: the social competition is skyrocketing) competitive society, parents are eager（感觉这么用更好：are eager  to witness...，这里eager是形容词） their children's success, especially in China. As a result, majority of parents prefer to help the children to do their work, to choose courses, to apply for university, even to decide career. They impose their own experience and thought on their kids in order to seek a short cut to success. I, on the opposite, back up the parents who cultivate children's independency.

On one hand, the kids who do work by themselves are more likely to have their own experience on one thing so that they can avoid making same mistakes in the future. They learn from it, analyze it and record it(三者之间逻辑好想有点问题，应该是meet the problem, analyze it and avoid it in the future). All these efforts help them to improve. Consider my brother, Jack, who started to live independently at his early age. Dealing with each stuff in his life from washing dishes to making money. Difficulties(感觉写achievements and adversities比较好，这样可以和后面的ups and downs对应), ups and downs are all great chances for him to grow up. Now, he is a successful entrepreneur in Shanghai and his company tops the list of promising economy（这里不太明白，是要表达他的公司很有前景吧？直接写his career will flourish/thrive no sooner or later好了）. It is independency that makes him outstand.

On the other hand, independency improves one not only physically but also mentally（这个观点过度地有点快，上一段也不是在重点写physical improvement gendered by independency呀，建议加个过渡 ）. Children will have insight and far- sight（两个重复，留一个） with the ability（也可以用competence） to think independently. According to a recent survey made by Stanford University, one of the most prestigious universities world wide, reveals that compare to the kids who always under the help of their parents in life, their counterparts acquire higher score in school tests. In this study, the independency students get 30 more points in the math exam, 22 more points in chemical class test. The reason why it turns out such result is that the kids encouraged doing things on their own by their parents are more willing to think, which is crucial in school work.

这一段很通顺，例子有说服力，建议可以把math exam改成intelligence quiz，这样更能体现mentally，math学得好不一定代表智商高，嘿嘿咱们中国学生的数学都能秒杀老美的。


这里写一个让步更好，although it is favorable for parent to be engaged to foster children's independency,  children may result in some disastrous consequences without parent's provident care especially at a certain turning point . For example, when children choose a future during university...可以继续写下去，最后总结，所以parents ought to cultivate children's independency moderately and give a hand with emergencies...

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applause encouraging the student to do everything independently instead of helping them from time to time. Parents should give them space, let them to be mature.



Conclusion:

Lxc是把这道题转换成写independency 的重要性了,很不错，比婷婷当时写的好多了，不过加个让步段，会让文章更切合主题哦~

1.写文的时候，注意让思维更严谨一点，比如前后对应，还有时间先后关系之类的

2.语言很流畅，可以适当润色一下文章，加一些长短句，还有注意词汇使用的精确性，像increase用skyrocket代替

3.婷婷比较喜欢带让步的写法，显得严谨，更有文采，lxc觉得呢？

Anyway,已经写得很好啦，加油啦，learn from you

lxc1989614

给我一个地址好吧，实在没时间找了。。。

lxc1989614

lxc麻烦改一下我的7月31日的独立作文,3Q~

-- by 会员 Vance1991 (2012/8/3 22:52:14)

给我一下地址。。我实在没时间找了。。。

lxc1989614

8.5
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement. Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave.

We live in a world where mass media plays a skyrocketing important role and the pace of information spreading is quickening. In this event, there triggers a heated discuss concerning the impact of movies and televisions. From my perspective, movies and televisions do good to youth.

On one hand, when facing with difficulties and troubles, movies and televisions are always inspire young people to step forward. Thanks to a classic move named Forest gump, which gave me much energy during the time I prepared college entrance exam. Each time when I felt frustrated and depressed, I resorted to this movie. It encouraged me never give up and do my utmost to finish all the tests, quizzes and exams in the school. Consequently, I have enrolled in my dream university, Peking University, one of the most prestigious universities in China. It is the movies and televisions that open me a brand new world.
On the other hand, climbing number of environmental-friendly theme movies and televisions elevate people's awareness of environmental protection, to some extent. The prevalent document Ocean reveals us the alarming decreasing rate of marine organism. Also, Avator analogizes the consequence of environmental devastating. Because of these films, young people begin to be pioneers in the NGOs and associations to claim people to protect the environment which leads to a fruitful result. People start to pay attention to the extinction creatures and pollution behaviors are diminishing. Under this circumstance, how can we say movies mislead young people?

Nevertheless, some people argue that the violent movies and televisions pose a huge threat to our society, since they are the major contribution to the soaring Juvenile Delinquency. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. The reason why the mass media has negative influence on students is that the youth lack the rational guidance from parents and teachers. Combination efforts are needed to create a harmonious and healthier society for our country's future.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applause more positive movies and televisions instead of blaming for their bad effect on young people. In fact, they push us to be perfect.

婷婷connie

婷婷又飘过~
sweet，先亲一个，实在太棒啦
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement. Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave.

We live in a world where mass media plays(play这是个复数) a skyrocketing important role and the pace of information spreading（这里怪怪的，用the spreading rate of information吧） is quickening. In this event, there triggers a heated discuss（discussion） concerning the impact of movies and televisions. From my perspective, movies and televisions do good to youth.
第一段简明提出观点，不错~



On one hand, when（去掉）facing（faced/confronted） with difficulties and troubles, movies and televisions are always inspire young people to step forward.(这句话前面的分句是young people,所以后面改成，young people are inspired to step forward mainly by movies and televisions)Thanks to a classic move（movie） named Forest gump, which gave me much energy during the time I prepared （the）college entrance exam. Each time when I felt frustrated and depressed(重复，留一个), I resorted to this movie. It encouraged me never （to这个不确定）give up and do my utmost to finish all the tests, quizzes and exams（意思都差不多哈，留个像样的就行） in the school. Consequently, I have enrolled in my dream university, Peking University, one of the most prestigious universities in China. It is the movies and televisions that open me a brand new world.


On the other hand, climbing number of environmental-friendly theme movies and televisions elevate people's awareness of environmental protection, to some extent（这里不要用，让人感觉你想让步，态度坚决一点）. The prevalent document Ocean reveals us the alarming decreasing rate of marine organism. Also, Avator analogizes the consequence of environmental devastating. Because of these films, young people begin to be pioneers in the NGOs and associations（好想后者包含了前者，这是一个逻辑问题） to claim people to protect the environment which leads to a fruitful result. People start to pay attention to the extinction creatures and pollution behaviors are diminishing. Under this circumstance, how can we say movies mislead young people?

Nevertheless, some people argue that the violent movies and televisions pose a huge threat to our society, since they are the major contribution to the soaring Juvenile Delinquency. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. The reason why the mass media has（have/exert） negative influence on students is that the youth lack the rational guidance from parents and teachers. Combination efforts are needed to create a (more和后面的healthier对应)harmonious and healthier society for our country's future.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applause more positive movies and televisions instead of blaming for their bad effect on young people. In fact, they push us to be perfect.

Conclusion：

这次中间段落展开很好哦，喜欢lxc的让步写法~~进步刷刷的！！

1.不要并列重复用形容词和名词哦

2.注意medias已经是复数了，单数形式是medium

3.还有就是注意主语一致性了（重点看第二段的第一句）这里还是写成强调句好： it is movies and televisions that inspire/motivate juvenile to step forward when they facing some adversities.

lxc1989614

8.7 In order to solve the problems of the present and the future, people should review the past.


"History is the mirror of future", there always goes an old saying. Although myriad of people nowadays reject this saying because the fast changing society make things subject to be out of date, I still believe that people should review the past if they want to deal with the problems in the present and even in the future.

On one hand, success can be repeated. The successful experiences in the past exert good examples for people who are facing some problems in the present. When preparing the bar exam, students are like to resort to those who have passed the exam. Why? As students with such successful experience, they are equipped with not only the knowledge needed in this exam but also the experience in the test, say, calm, careful and relax. All these make these students even better than teachers to convey experience. It is the past experience that makes them the best helper for the students who are preparing for this exam.

On the other hand, the mistakes one made in the past also play an crucial role for solving the problems in the present and future. Learning from these mistakes and correcting them can assist one avoid making same mistake next time. This raises the possibility to handle a problem better. A recent survey made by Economists, a prevalent magazine in Shanghai, reveals that 80% of the most successful entrepreneurs in China have habit of absorbing the loss experience in the past. Undoubtly, the habit makes them more outstanding.

Nevertheless, some people argue that in this, situation changes with lips and bounds, the past experience easily becomes useless. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. As long as the situation and circumstance will no longer be the same, the principle is eternal. In a racing competition, when athletes are in the same level, they compete with nothing but experience.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applause reviewing the former instead of just living now. The past experience left one in a higher step.

婷婷connie

婷婷又一次飘过
8.7 In order to solve the problems of the present and the future, people should review the past.
来找茬了，嘿嘿~

"History is the mirror of future", there always goes an old saying. Although myriad of people nowadays reject this saying because the fast changing society make things subject to be out of date, I still believe that people should review the past if they want to deal with the problems in the present and even in the future.
开头引用名人名言，比较简洁
On one hand, success can be repeated.(这一句不能算ts,把后面那句合并一下吧)The successful experiences in the past exert（exert通常和influence搭配吧，觉得用demonstrate/show之类的好些） good examples for people who are facing some problems in the present. When preparing the bar exam, students are like to resort to those who have passed the exam. Why? As students with such successful experience, they are equipped with not only the knowledge needed in this exam but also the experience in the test, say, calm, careful and relax（aplomb, prudence,relaxation都改成名词吧）. All these make these students even better than teachers to convey experience. It is the past experience that makes them the best helper （用instructor更好）for the students who are preparing for this exam.（强调句不错）

On the other hand, the mistakes one made in the past also play an crucial role for solving the problems in the present and future. Learning from these mistakes and correcting them can assist one avoid making same mistake next time. This raises the possibility to handle a problem better. A recent survey made by Economists, a prevalent magazine in Shanghai, reveals that 80% of the most successful entrepreneurs in China have habit of absorbing the loss experience in the past. Undoubtly(undoubtedly), the habit makes them more outstanding.
感觉这两个观点有点相似，一个是学成功经验，一个从错误中学习，是一正一反吗？



Nevertheless, some people argue that in this, situation changes with lips and bounds, the past experience easily becomes useless. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. As long as the situation and circumstance will no longer be the same, the principle is eternal. In a racing competition, when athletes are in the same level, they compete with nothing but experience.例子描写不够，还可以多一点

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applause reviewing the former instead of just living now. The past experience left one in a higher step.



Conclusion:这篇算是美文了

1.Ts很相近，其实合到一起也行，都是汲取经验，可以举正反例子，鲜明对比嘛

2.另一个可以写过去更能激发现在的人们去开拓创新之类的

3.真的找不出问题了，婷婷能力有限了...

lxc1989614

you can know a lot about a person through the types of friends this person has.

Like attracts like. Birds of a feather flock together,there always goes an old saying. Some people may like to make friends with different personality to compriomise them. I, however, still think that the types of friends of a person reflects a lot, from charactristics to career.

On one hand, people with similar personality are more likely to become friends. It is not hard to find that those who are out-going often stay with persons like similing and comunication, while in the libirary, it is easy to discover friends who are all prefer quiet place and reading. My brother Tom, a brave and risk-taking person, whose majority of friends are keen on extram sport, such as hiking, skiing and pop-jumping. Every weekend, they get together and choose places to challenge. In this event, how can you say we cannot judge a person by his or her friends?

On the other hand, generally, good friends are tend to be made in the same field of job.They have same interesting topics in the career and often have more chances to communicate with each other.That is why pop-stars have more pop-star friends than common people. According to a research made by Stanford University, a university with glittery reputation in the world, reveals that 67% of  people choose to make friends in the same career. It is the friends one make that shows one's job.

Nevertheless, some people argue that friends reflect nothing but one person's interest and occassion also make a couple of friends. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. If one just make friends at ramdon and show no preferrence, how can he find the friends most suit him? The answer is simple: personality and same conversation topics.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to knowing a person throgh his or her friends instead of distrusting this thoery.

lxc1989614

For future career success, is relate well to other people more important than studying hard at school?

What is the major contribution of career success? Good relationship with other people who assist one in job or studying hard at school? From my perspective, diligent study during school time plays more crucial rule in future triumph in career.

On one hand, there is no doubt that the job one does in his field is highly related to what he has learned in university, which means that he applies the theories in his major to accomplish all the tasks in his position. Consider my brother Jack, an excellent lawyer in a leading law firm in Shanghai. Everyday he reviews the commercial contracts, including company contracts, trading ones and insurance ones. Accordingly, what he has studied in university lays a solid foundation in his job. Without the knowledge, how can he has such achievement nowadays?

On the other hand, the success of one's career reflects not only a strong ability in finishing the missions in study but also the desire for new knowledge. He or she will more willing to absorb new practical things in the process of doing job. A latest research found in the China Daily unveils that 85% of the successful entrepreneurs in China are also diligent in their school time, especially the period in university. The more one has learned, the more one will achieve. This is the principle which consented by all the famous business men non-exclude Steve Jobs. It is studying hard that makes one more out-standing.

Nevertheless, hardly everyone can reach to such a consensus. Some people argue that without other people such as boss or leader, one has few chances to get what he wants, say higher position and more decent salary. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. Only those who put all their energy into studying can attract others' assistant which brings a promising future.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applaud diligent person instead of waiting for others' help. God only help those who help themselves.

lxc1989614

What is the main role of the university professor, to educate students or to do research?
To educate students or to do research? From America to China, it is a tough question for all the university professors to answer. They are keen on the research in their field; meanwhile they also love their students. From my perspective, it does both good to themselves and students if they focus on their teaching.

On one hand, as students know little about their major, they need someone to guide them. Only the professors with rich experience in teaching are able to convey abundant and specialized knowledge to them. Under the expression of these professors, the hard notions and formula become understandable. According to a questionnaire made by Fudan University, one of the universities with glittery reputation in China, reveals that 70% of the freshman and sophomore in Chinese universities prefer professors as their teachers. The reason is that they can express knowledge better than some young teachers.

On the other hand, high academic standard of professors inspires students to work hard.  I want to grand my sincere gratitude to my professor during my post-graduate time. Because of his strong research ability in his field, I had myriad opportunities to attend world-class research meeting and be acquainted with many professors in this field from different countries. The more conferences I have attended, the more interest I have in my field-commercial law. Consequently, I made great achievement in my field and nowadays I enjoy my career in a leading law firm in Shanghai. Without the help of my professor, I will never have such life.

Nevertheless, some people still argue that professors pay too much attention and time on teaching will have negative impact on whole academic standard in our country. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. Combination of teaching and studying is the best solution for this problem. It not only can continue professors' teaching work but also benefit the students in their study.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applaud guidance from professor instead of just putting emphasis on professors' own research. What the professors do will generate more outstanding successors in the near future.