作文求助~

lxc1989614

TPO20
The lecture completely rejects the idea shown in the passage about three kinds of damage of "let it burn" policy. In the professor's opinion, fire is natural part of the eco-system and it is also creative.

The professor contradicts the first point in the passage that the fire in Yellowstone triggered a lot of damage to the park's trees and other vegetation. The professor contends that, in fact, after the 1988 Yellowstone fire, there appeared a lot of new plants and vegetable. The area became more diverse, since the fire creates an opportunity for the plants which cannot grow in former condition. Small plants have more space to thrive and seeds have suitable temperature to germinate.

The speaker goes on to oppose the claim of the author that fire also affects the wild life in the park. On the contrary, the professor argues that fire also offer new chance for wild life. Small plants replaced the high trees made food more feasible for small animals like rabbits and hares, which benefit their predator as well. Fire enhances the food chain.

Finally, the listening material challenges the last viewpoint in the reading material that fire has negative results for the local economy. The professor contends that fire does not happen every year, because the occurrence of it needs the combination of mass factors. Actually, the visitors came back in the next year of Yellowstone fire. So the fire has no such bad impact.

In short, the points asserted in passage are different from what the lecture says.

婷婷connie

6.9 独立改文
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People are now easier to become educated than in the past.

Asked whether people nowadays are easier to become educated, majority （of）people have a stereotype(trite words/platitude呵呵，感觉这俩也行，就写上了): because of too much distraction from outside, people, especially the youth, are less likely to be educated. I claim, on the contrary, that with the increasing number of methods to access（accesses 就可以了） to the knowledge, people are easier to be educated.

Cutting- edge technology tops the list of feasible ways. The internet and online classroom enable us （to go）(没有看过enable with的用法)with abundant of knowledge. A recent survey made by Fudan University（哈哈，lxc是复旦的忠实fans呀）, one of the most prestigious universities in China, reveals that compare with the last generation, its counterpart have more opportunities to realize their dream of higher education through online universities. According to this research, the number of people with bachelor’s degree has increased 52% in a decade(by 52% during the last decade). It is advanced technology that made us receive education with ease.

Surely, there is always another remarkable approach: being educated through mass media. I want to thank myriad（a whole myriad） of television programs such as discovery and BBC documentaries, which offer me an opportunity to absorb fore front（这个是？） knowledge. As the fan of these programs, I have equipped with a wide range of knowledge in the fields like science, medicine and law, which （is）also helpful in my career and major learning. Hardly can we gain such useful knowledge without mass media.
恩恩，举例读起来很爽了~
Nevertheless, there are still some people believe that because of too many choices, many people give up the chance of education and resort to other interests. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. In order to encourage more young people to receive higher education, universities in our country have enlarged scale and set a rule（什么rule，这里要解释一下） to attract more students, which works very well.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applaud more ways to offer education chances instead of limited traditional methods. Advanced technology, mass media and government's support are parts of what made people easier educated.


Conclusion：文章基本上没有错误了。

1.三个主段：第一段是数例，第二段的事例很好，第三段的rule还要深入一点

2.三个分论点犯了一个逻辑错误，婷婷觉得advanced technology 是包括mass media的，都是技术吧

3.建议多记几个作文模板，这篇文章和上次婷婷看过的文章很像的说~

lxc1989614

6.7号作文
Asked whether students in high school should take a course on basic economics, parents and teachers in China have a stereotype: basic courses are no need to be added in the schedule because students are too young to understand this specific knowledge. I claim, on the contrary, that it is necessary for the students in high school have some ideas about basic economic.

Having a better preparation for the major choice in the college tops the list of expediencies. Increasing number of students choose economy as their major because of a decent career rather than their true interest. The basic courses offer an opportunity for students to understand this major well. A recent survey made by Fudan University, one of the most prestigious universities in China, reveals that compare with the school without basic economical courses, the students in their counterparts are more subject in major choice. According to this research, less than 20% of the students in the latter school choose economy as their major. It is the basic courses that made a clear future for students.

Surely, there is always another remarkable advantage: students can have better understanding of some economical events in society. I want to thank my high school, a top five schools in my country. It enables us to a wide range of basic economical course such as "economy in our life" and "how to face the challenge from economic crisis". They are not only enlarge my knowledge but also helpful in my study of other subjects. Hardly can we benefit a lot in a high school without the economical classes.

Nevertheless, there are still some people believe high school students should not take economical courses, since they are not included in the college entrance exam and  waste a lot of time. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. The education in our country put too much emphasis on test and overlooks other important comprehensive abilities. That is why we are lacking the creativity talents.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applaud more basic economical classes instead of neglecting its significance. Economical courses in high school are part of what made our students more excellent.

Crystaljoy

TPO20
The lecture completely rejects the idea shown in the passage about three kinds of damage of "let it burn" policy. In the professor's opinion, fire is natural part of the eco-system and it is also creative.

The professor contradicts the first point in the passage that the fire in Yellowstone triggered a lot of damage to the park's trees and other vegetation. (Yet加一个转折词把passage和lecture内容分开)The professor contends that, in fact, after the 1988 Yellowstone fire, there appeared a lot of new plants and vegetable（vegetables 对称）. The area became more diverse, since the fire creates an opportunity for the plants which cannot grow in former condition. (我觉得这两句话就是一个意思，可以summarize到一起。Yet the professor contends that, in fact, after the 1988 Yellowstone fire, this area became more diverse, since the fire creates an opportunity for the a lot of new plants and vegetables which cannot grow in former condition. )
(后面这是另一个点么？Besides,) Small plants have more space to thrive and seeds have suitable temperature to germinate.

The speaker goes on to oppose the claim of the author that fire also affects the wild life in the park. On the contrary, the professor argues that fire also offer new chance for wild life. (For example,) Small plants replaced the high trees made food more feasible for small animals like rabbits and hares, which benefit their predator as well. (Also,) Fire enhances the food chain.

Finally, the listening material challenges the last viewpoint in the reading material that fire has negative results for the local economy. The professor contends that fire does not happen every year, because the occurrence of it needs(requires) the combination of mass(感觉程度太重了numerous/various/) factors. Actually, the visitors came back in the next year of（after） Yellowstone fire. So the fire has no such bad impact.

In short, the points asserted in passage are different from what the lecture says.
个人感觉，综合太一般的结尾，写了不如不写。这是小分队5842用过的一个结尾，我觉得很不错，推荐你临考前学习下：In a nutshell, the lecturer discredits the viewpoints of the reading and restates that。。。，。。。， as well as 。。。are partly explanatory for 。。。, but not an overall one.



建议多用一些体现逻辑，体现结构的连接词。结构显得更加清晰。



每段最后可以加一个总结会不会更好？比如这种By saying this, the lecturer disproves what is stated as a cause in the reading. 可以prepare几句。



整体的语言很流畅！细节也够~我觉得这样的考场作品应该很不错了，明天加油！

lxc1989614

TPO22
The lecture completely rejects the idea in the reading concerning the disadvantage of the ethanol. In the professor's opinion, ethanol is a good alternative and none of the reasons in the passage is convincing.

The lecture rejects the first viewpoint in the passage that the ethanol does no good to the environment, since it releases carbon dioxide. which is the main cause of the global warming. The professor, however, asserts that the growing process of the ethanol plants helps to absorb the carbon dioxide. In other word, the plants need carbon dioxide for their nutrition. So the first point in the passage is not right.

The speaker goes on to contradict the second reason of the author that the use of the plants will lead to decreasing of the resource for animals. The professor believes that it will not happen in the future. Because the ethanol mainly needs the part named cellious which cannot be eaten by animals. As a result, the problem mentioned in the passage is no longer a worry.

The listening material casts doubt on the last reason in the reading that the high price of the ethanol will prevent the customers from buying it. The professor does not agree with the opinion. He said that the price can compete with the traditional gas if more people use it. With increasing of demand, the production will also increase which make the low price available. According to a study, when the produce rises 3 times, the cost will decrease 40%.

lxc1989614

7.31
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is impossible to be completely honest with your friend.

Every one expects an honesty friend, student or employee, rich or poor, man and woman , while a completely honest friend seems particularly in shortage in this increasing complex society. I, however, accept the not completely honest in my friendship.

On one hand, there never lacks the story that one friendship collapse because of too much complete honest words. “ Your T-shirt does not suit you, since the colour is so wired.” How do you feel when your best friend gives such comment on your favorite T-shirt? Also an excited introduction of your new boy friend may intrigue unpleasant response from your friend.  Honesty is really a plausible character of a good friend, but it also brings out some problems. According to a recent survey made by Peking University ,  one prestigious university in China, reveals that 67% of the break up friendship is result from completely honest comments or conversation. It is the excess honesty that directs a relationship to the negative situation.

On the other hand, the complete honesty also makes our life tedious and press. That’s why people prefer white lie rather than complete honesty from time to time. I want to extend my sincere gratitude toward my elder sister, Mary, who set an excellent example in my life. She does not only always know the situation to whether tells the truth or not but also express her real feeling in other way. For instance, when the dress colour does not suit one, instead of pointing it out directly, she will give her recommend to change another one. This kind of interaction skill plays a crucial role in our life. So, there is no surprising that she is so popular among her friends.

Nevertheless, someone is still call for the complete honesty for fear of betrayal by their friends. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. It is necessary to be honest in a relationship, however, it is should never be complete. Every thing has its degree. So is the honesty in friendship. If one must to be complete honest to his or her friends. The result is endless dispute and disagreement.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applause ‘proper’ honesty instead of complete honesty, to cheer up a pleasant friendship rather than a tried and pressure relationship. That is what make our friendship unshakable.

小兔爱twins

The lecture completely rejects the idea in the readingconcerning the disadvantage of the ethanol. In the professor's opinion, ethanolis a good alternative and none of the reasons in the passage is convincing.

The lecture rejects the first viewpoint in thepassage that the ethanol does no goodto the environment, since it releases carbon dioxide.（换逗号） which is the main cause of the global warming. Theprofessor, however, asserts that （the growing process of theethanol plants 这样表达意思是乙醇植物 我觉得不太准确）可以把整句换成growing plants for ethanol production helps to absorb the carbondioxide. In other word, the plants need carbon dioxide for their nutrition.（表述中德逻辑顺序不太对，听力给出的是种植那些植物会吸收CO2 所以对种那些植物减少温室气体有帮助） So the first point in the passage is not right.

The speaker goes on to contradict the secondreason of the author that the use of the plants will lead to decreasing of theresource for animals. The professor believes that it will not happen in thefuture. Because the ethanol mainly needs the part named cellious which cannotbe eaten by animals. As a result, the problem mentioned in the passage is nolonger a worry.(没问题~)

The listening material casts doubt on the lastreason in the reading that thehigh price of the ethanol will prevent the customersfrom buying it. (个人认为有点点扯远了..阅读上说是ethanol 和 gasoline 在价格上斗不过,现在能差不多价格是依赖政府补助,并没有具体的点到是会让顾客不买…) The professor does not agree with the opinion. (划线的两句表述重复…)He said(最好全文时态要一致!!) that the price can competewith the traditional gas if more people use it. With increasing of demand, theproduction will also increase which make the low price available. According toa study, when the produce rises 3 times, the cost will decrease 40%.

sherryzhangh

7.31
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is impossible to be completely honest with your friend.

Every one expects an honesty friend, whether you are student or employee, rich or poor, man or woman. While a completely honest friend seems particularly in shortage in this increasing complex society. I, however, tend to accept the not completely honest in my friendship.

On one hand, there never lacks the story that one friendship collapse because of too much complete honest words. “Your T-shirt does not suit you, since the color is so wired.” How do you feel when your best friend gives such comment on your favorite T-shirt? Also an excited introduction of your new boy friend may intrigue unpleasant response from your friend.  Honesty is really a plausible character of a good friend, but it also brings out some problems. According to a recent survey made by Peking University, one prestigious university in China reveals that 67% of the break up friendship is result from completely honest comments or conversation. It is the excess honesty that directs a relationship to the negative situation.

On the other hand, the complete honesty also makes our life tedious and pressed. That’s why people prefer white lie rather than complete honesty from time to time. I want to extend my sincere gratitude toward my elder sister, Mary, who set an excellent example in my life. She does is always not only always know the situation to whether tells the truth or not but also expresses her real feeling in other way. For instance, when the dress color does not suit one, instead of pointing it out directly, she will give her recommend to change another one. This kind of interaction skill plays a crucial role in our life. So, there is no surprising that she is so popular among her friends.

Nevertheless, someone is still call for the complete honesty for fear of betrayal by their friends. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. It is necessary to be honest in a relationship, however, it is should never be complete. Everything has its degree. So is (感觉应该用does) the honesty in friendship. If one must to be completely honest to his or her friends. The result is endless dispute and disagreement.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to applause ‘proper’ honesty instead of complete honesty, to cheer up a pleasant friendship rather than a tried and pressure relationship. That is what makes our friendship unshakable.

Vance1991

lxc麻烦改一下我的7月31日的独立作文,3Q~

lxc1989614

8.3
Parents should help children to do their work or encourage children to do their work independently.


In this increasing competitive society, parents are eager their children's success, especially in China. As a result, majority of parents prefer to help the children to do their work, to choose courses, to apply for university, even to decide career. They impose their own experience and thought on their kids in order to seek a short cut to success. I, on the opposite, back up the parents who cultivate children's independency.

On one hand, the kids who do work by themselves are more likely to have their own experience on one thing so that they can avoid making same mistakes in the future. They learn from it, analyze it and record it. All these efforts help them to improve. Consider my brother, Jack, who started to live independently at his early age. Dealing with each stuff in his life from washing dishes to making money. Difficulties, ups and downs are all great chances for him to grow up. Now, he is a successful entrepreneur in Shanghai and his company tops the list of promising economy. It is independency that makes him outstand.

On the other hand, independency improves one not only physically but also mentally. Children will have insight and far- sight with the ability to think independently. According to a recent survey made by Stanford University, one of the most prestigious universities world wide, reveals that compare to the kids who always under the help of their parents in life, their counterparts acquire higher score in school tests. In this study, the independency students get 30 more points in the math exam, 22 more points in chemical class test. The reason why it turns out such result is that the kids encouraged doing things on their own by their parents are more willing to think, which is crucial in school work.


For all the reasons listed, it is time to applause encouraging the student to do everything independently instead of helping them from time to time. Parents should give them space, let them to be mature.