作文求助~

hysx1988

The lecture completely rejects the idea shows（应该为被动语态吧，shown） in the passage about the explain（explanation，explain很少用作名词，听力中用的也是explanation） of the decreasing of the yellow cedar.In the professor's opinion,the reasons are still unknown and none of the reasons mentioned in the passage is adequate.（这里总结得很好呢，逻辑严密且用的都是听力中的词汇，学习）


The speaker contradicts the first point in the passage that the declining is caused by insect parasites.On the contrary,he contends that ,in fact,yellow cedar is more resistant to insects rather than other kind（应该是kinds更合适吧） of trees.For example, the bark and leaf of the yellow cedar can produce some chemical material which is toxic to insects.


The lecture goes on to oppose the claim of the author that  the brown bears' aggressive feeding habits leads to the decreasing of this trees.He argues that in the areas without bears like some islands of North America,the population of yellow cedar is also diminishing.So the bears are not responsible for the issue.


Finally,the professor continues to challenges（语法错误，去掉s） the last point in the material that the decreasing is the result of climate change.He reminds us that they forgot to take the real situation into consideration.In general,if the climate made the trees more sensitive,the number of them should decrease in some higher,freezing(语法错误，中间应该加and而且直接high和freeze并列不太合适，听力中只是说high导致冬天的晚上会结冰，两个字简单并列修饰area的意思是这个区域一直是freeze进行时) area since it is cold.However,the trees in the lower,warmer elevation are also decrease.（这段逻辑上是稍微有点问题的，原文的意思是如果阅读的文章的理论成立，那么高海拔低温地区树死得更多，但是事实上，低海拔高温地区死得更多，所以段中最后一句also decrease力度是不够的，因为也减少并未与高海拔地区作比较，也没有否认了IF所引导的从句，应该有多少的比较）
1、    在英文写作中，标点后面是必须空一格哦，文章中标点后都没有空格，不知道ETS是否会扣分。但是这是英文写作的规则；
2、    总体很不错哦，结构严谨，听力也内容也表达得准确完整，但是还有一些词汇问题要注意一下，个人认为第四段稍有点问题。
PS: 偶也是第一次帮人改哦，水平不济，多多包涵。:

婷婷connie

lxc，没有看到独立哦？

lxc1989614

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People can take care of their family members better when they live in big cities than in the countryside.

Facing convenience traffic system, improved infrastructure conditions and easy access to a wide range of products, people nowadays are more likely to take care of their families in urban area. However, is the life in cities can bring a promising future? And I claim that , on the contrary, it is better for people to take care of their families in the countryside.

More leisure time tops the list of expediencies. The life pace in the countryside is not as fast as city's, which enables the people there more leisure time to accompany with their family members. To give you an idea of how much benefit the more time caused to a family, consider this: a recent survey made by China Daily reveals that compare to the family members live in the city, their counterparts in the countryside feel more pleasure and satisfied with their life, since they spend more time together. It is the relax suburb life that made a family harmonious.

Closer social relationship also emerged as a remarkable advantage. I want to thank my dear mother, who brought me to the countryside when I was ten years old. Since then, I have made many friends in the elementary school. We still communicate with each other from time to time. The social life in the countryside has never complex than that in the city, which are favored by many people. It is the answer spoken by people from all walks of life, who sent a message to the questionnaire conducted by Peking University, all of these concluded the same result that family members in the countryside can receive better life.

Nevertheless, there are still someone who believe that family members should be taken care in urban, out of fear that the less-developed infrastructure in the rural will usher in any inconvenience. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. People in the cities are more incline to suffer from lung cancer because of the car emission. More recently, the issue of polluted air and contaminated drinking water pose a huge threat to people's health condition. Hardly can we imagine the family members enjoy life in the cities.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to end taking care of the family members in cities that rarely brings benefits and double down on the countryside life that never has been more appealing. Taking care of the family in countryside is part of what made our family members happier.

lxc1989614

TPO1 5.24综合
The lecture completely rejects the idea presented in the passage that four-day work policy will benefits the economy , the companies and the employees. In the professor's opinion, it will not effect them.

The speaker contradicts the first point in the reading that four-day policy may increase the profit of company. He contends that, this policy will trigger more spend since the company needs to add more workers, which causes the fees for training and medical treatment. Also more office space and computers are should be taken into consideration.

The professor goes on to oppose the claim of the author that the four day policy will decrease the unemployment rate. On the contrary, he argues that hiring new employments is costly. And the company has option to ask the employees work overtime. Companies may have higher expectation to add quantity of work. All these will make employees unpleasant.

Finally, the professor challenges the last point in the material that four day policy benefits the individual employee because they have more leisure time. He reminds us that it is risky and may low down the employees' quality of life. Their job ability will decrease and have few chances to advance. Four-day workers are more likely to lose job while five-day workers have more opportunities of promotion. They have supervision ability for work entire week.

婷婷connie

5.23 独立改文~
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People can take care of their family members better when they live in big cities than in the countryside.

Facing convenience(convenient) traffic system, improved infrastructure(这个单词当时想了好久啊) conditions and easy access to a wide range of products, people nowadays are more likely to take care of their families in urban areas. However, is the life in cities can bring a promising future? And(and在这里貌似作用不大) I claim that , on the contrary, it is better for people to take care of their families in the countryside.

More leisure time tops the list of expediencies. The life pace in the countryside is not as fast as （the）city's, which enables the people there more leisure time to accompany with their family members. To give you an idea of(这里有点中式，直接摆出一个问卷调查就行)how much benefit (补充benefit的用法~1. 利益,好处;优势[U][C] 2. 津贴,救济金[C][U] 3. 义演,义卖[C] 4. 【美】(收入的)免税部分[U] ) the more time caused to a family, consider this: a recent survey made by China Daily reveals that compare（comparing） to the family members live in the city, their counterparts in the countryside feel more pleasure（pleased和后面一个是形容词） and satisfied with their life, since they spend more time together. It is the relax suburb（suburban） life that made a family harmonious.

Closer social relationship also emerged as a remarkable advantage. I want to thank my dear mother, who brought me to the countryside when I was ten years old. Since then, I have made many friends in the elementary school. We still communicate with each other from time to time. The social life in the countryside has never （been more）complex than that in the city, which are(is)favored by many people. It is the answer spoken by people from all walks of life（这里不明白）, who sent a message to the questionnaire conducted by Peking University, all of these concluded the same result that family members in the countryside can receive better life（可以往closer social relationship上带带~）.

Nevertheless, there are（is） still someone（这个是单数）who believesthat family members should be taken care（of）in urban, out of fear that the less-developed infrastructure in the rural will usher in any inconvenience. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. People in the cities are more incline to（这个好，学走了）suffer from lung cancer because of the car(car's) emission. More recently, the issue of polluted air and contaminated drinking water pose（poses） a huge threat to people's health condition. (therefore，)Hardly can we imagine the family members enjoy life in the cities.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to end taking care of the family members in cities that rarely brings benefits and double down（？） on the countryside life that never has been more appealing. Taking care of the family in countryside is （the）part of what made our family members happier.



Conclusion:1.建议lxc在每个主段前加一个逻辑连词

         2.注意主谓一致性

         3.注意一下冠词的用法

         4.夸一下，词汇和搭配都很好哦！

婷婷connie

5.24 综合改文

TPO1 5.24综合

来挑错了哦~
The lecture completely rejects the idea presented in the passage that four-day work policy will benefits（benefit） the economy , the companies and the employees. In the professor's opinion, it will not effect them（positively）.

The speaker contradicts the first point in the reading that four-day policy may increase the profit of (the这个冠词吧，要不就用companies)company. He contends that, this policy will trigger more spend since the company needs to add more workers, which causes the fees for training and medical treatment. Also more office space and computers are should be taken into consideration.

The professor goes on to oppose the claim of the author that the four day policy will decrease the unemployment rate. On the contrary, he argues that hiring new employments is costly. And the company has option to ask the employees work overtime. Companies may have higher expectation to add quantity of work. All these will make employees unpleasant.

Finally, the professor challenges the last point in the material that four day policy benefits the individual employee because they have more leisure time. He reminds us that it is risky and may low down the employees' quality of life. Their job ability will decrease and have few chances to advance. Four-day workers are more likely to lose job while five-day workers have more opportunities of promotion. They have supervision ability for work entire week.

可以加个结尾~

细节很清楚，很好~

lxc1989614

5.26综合
The listening completely rejects the idea shown in the passage about the doubt of the authority of some paintings by Rembrandt. In the professor's opinion, the painting has been examed by expertise and proved to be true.

The professor contradicts the first point in the reading that something inconsistence displayed in the picture about the way the woman dressed. He contends that after analyzing by X-ray, the full colour was not the part of the portrait and added after 100 years in order to improve the value of the painting.

The speaker goes on to oppose the claim of the author that the light and shadow in this painting do not fit together, which disobey the Rembrandt's advantage. On the contrary, he argues that when the added full colour removed, the original, simple light colour cloth will reflect the light to illuminate the face. As a result, the light and shadow are what we expected.

Finally, the listening challenges the last viewpoint in the material that the back of the painting shows that the panel made of several pieces of wood glued together. He reminds us that the picture has been enlarged to be grand. Originally, it was a single wood and this wood is the same tree of another portrait by Rembrandt.

lxc1989614

5月27日 2011.2.11 NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes.


Facing immature children,countless repeated mistakes and the negative consequences these mistakes caused, parents nowadays are more likely to guide their kids to avoid the mistakes. However, it is really good for children when they grow up? I claim that, on the contrary, parents should be patient enough to endure the mistakes and let the kids learn from their own mistakes.

To begin with, the mistakes made by the kids help them to be mature and independent. The reason why some people are more likely to be successful in the future is that their parents are tolerant to their mistakes. A recent survey made by Fudan University reveals that comparing to the children who are always guided by their parents and made less mistakes, their counterparts who made more mistakes and learned from them are more likely to do things well, since they own more experience. It is the mistake that made one mature.

Surely, there has always been another remarkable advantage--avoiding mistakes next time. I want to thank my dear mother. She always let me learn from my own mistakes, which is helpful in my future. I remember a mistake I made in my childhood. I was impolite to one of my friends, Mary, which lead to collapse of our relationship. I have learned from it and never rude to others since then. Only one's own experience can teach a lesson.

Nevertheless, there is someone still believes parents should give kids guidance they want, out of fear that any inevitable mistakes will usher in a dark future. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint. On the contrary, the mistakes made by children themselves are unforgettable, which means they will never made same mistakes and this is crucial for a person in the future. It is answer said by teachers and educators, who sent a message to the questionnaire conducted by the Educational Bureau, these concluded the result that the parents should let the children make mistakes.

For all the reasons listed, it is time to end the prohibit to let kids made mistakes that rarely brings benefit and double down on the learning from mistakes that has never been more promising. Letting kid make mistakes and learn from them is part of what made them more successful.


这个题目不好写啊，本次的文章写的像一坨屎。。

acrophobiahy

5月27日 2011.2.11 NA
Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement? Parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let themlearn from their own mistakes.

Facing immature children, countless repeatedmistakes and the negative consequences these mistakes caused, parents nowadaysare more likely to guide their kids to avoid the mistakes. However, it isreally good for children when they grow up? I claim that, on the contrary,parents should be patient enough to endure the mistakes and let the kids learnfrom their own mistakes.

To begin with, the mistakes made by the kids helpthem to be mature and independent. The reason why some people are more likelyto be successful in the future is that their parents are tolerant to theirmistakes. A recent survey made conducted by Fudan University reveals that comparing to compared with the children who are always guided by their parents andmade less fewer mistakes, their counterparts who made more mistakes andlearned from them are more likely to do things well, since they own moreexperience. It is the mistake that made one mature.

Surely, there has always been another remarkable advantage--avoiding the same mistakes nexttime. I want to thank my dear mother. She always let me learn from my ownmistakes, which is are helpful in to my future. I remember a mistake I made in my childhood. Iwas impolite to one of my friends, Mary, which lead to collapseof our relationship. I have learned from it and never rude(这是形容词，可以用speak to my friends with a rude attitude) to others since then. Only one's ownexperience can teach a lesson.

Nevertheless, there is someone some people still believe parents should give kids guidance they want, outof fear that any inevitable mistakes will usher in a dark future. But I will not walk away from my viewpoint from my point of view. On the contrary, the mistakes made by childrenthemselves are unforgettable, which means they will never made same make the same mistakes and this is crucial for a person inthe future. It is an answer said by teachers and educators, who sent a messageto the questionnaire conducted by the Educational Bureau, these and which concluded the result that the parents should let thechildren make mistakes.

Forall the reasons listed, it is time to end the prohibit to let kids makemistakes that rarely brings benefit and double down on the learning frommistakes that has never been more promising.(这句话稍微改一下吧，有点乱，读了好几遍才弄懂) Letting kids make mistakes and learn from them is part of what madethem more successful.

你的文章结构还是不错的~~
但是，在句子时态，单词词性方面，希望你多注意一下。
再者，希望你多做些句子、单词的同义转化，里面太多的GUIDE
加油啊~~
acrophobiahy

lxc1989614

The lecture completely rejects the idea shown in the passage about the problems of communal encyclopedias. In the professor's opinion, the communal encyclopedias have never been perfect and these problems revealed in the passage are just small price to pay.

The listening contradicts the first assert in the passage that the communal encyclopedias always lack academic credentials. She argues that the traditional encyclopedias are also not accurate and the mistakes in them will remain for a very long time. While the communal encyclopedias are easy to be corrected online.

The speaker goes on to oppose the claim of the author that communal encyclopedias are more likely to be fabricated or deleted by vandals or hackers. On the contrary, she contends that in order to avoid this condition the online encyclopedias have two strategies. Firstly, they have full mate to ensure the accurate information is not be changed easily. Secondly, the editional monitors make all the changes to ensure the malicious.

Finally, the lecture challenges the last point in the material that communal encyclopedias focus too wide topics. She reminds us that this feature can best reflect what the public are interested in accurately. The various topic to show the diversity interests is the strongest advantage.