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晨依小超人的写作贴,欢迎拍砖!

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81#
发表于 2012-3-8 23:44:09 | 只看该作者
考虑到夸奖你的人太多了,所以本次修改
我把那些容易让你 滋生资产阶级腐败 的话就省略了。。。
基本只是针对我认为需要商榷得地方做了批注!

37日 独立写作

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The ability to adapt to a new environment is more important than excellent knowledge for a job.


I totally disagree with the statement mentioned above that the ability to adapt to a new environment is of more importance than excellent knowledge for a job. Two reasons listed below are supporting my point of view.

To begin with, what a company needs is a talent stuff with excellent knowledge which is helpful to raise its profits but not a person who only gets well with others doing nothing related to work.

(这里在做对比的时候 感觉有点没有紧扣主题。感觉“ 与别人相处很好却做与工作无关的事情 ”貌似是对The ability to adapt to a new environment 的深度理解吧。。。。。)As Bacon once said, Knowledge is power. A person, who is an expert in a specific field is more welcome by an enterprise because his knowledge is the creativity to promoting the whole company's further development. In ancient China, people with excellent knowledge and talents were usually hired by the emproer(emperor/royal) and made contributions to the construction of country. However, the officials who only strengthened their interpersonal relationships and spoke highly of the governers(dominator) were not paid much attention to. In my opinion, one's intelligence is more valuable for it is gifted while the ability to adapt a new environment can be cultivated in growth.

In addition, a man with excellent knowledge is not always in need of cooperating with others. As we all know that a number of scientists achieve their success all by their own, so they don't have the resposibility(responsibility)(他们没有责任干某事,,我感觉不如说他们没有必要干某事比较好It'S not necessary for XX to do to learn how to get along with other people or adapt themselves to a new environment. On the contrary, to develop the ability to adapt to a new environment is a waste of their talents. The Juli couple(The Curies), who are the world famous chemistrists(chemists) in Polland(Poland), intended not to be bothered by others during their poccess(process) of experiments, thus they abandoned their chairs in order to have the visitors left quickly. For the couple were busy with fatal experiments, they were reluctant to improve their abilities of adapting to a new environment, but finally they succeeded in invention of the radiated elements. Hence, the ability to get along well with others is no more fundamental under some certain circumstances for excellent people who don't have to work with others.

No doubt that we attach significance to the ability of adapting oneself to a brand new environment. However, knowledge is also a key element in contributing to a career, and what is more, a gifted person does not always need to get well with others to obtain success. In conclusion, adaption to a job is no more important than excellent knowledge for a job.

观后感:

感觉对于主题指定的两物之间的对比,对象界定的比较模糊。
第一段文章开门见山,说 适应力 不如 专项技能重要。非常简洁,很赞,我感觉这种大胆的开头方式,也能会比模板更让人觉得舒服点,但是不知道ETS那些魂淡是怎么想的,,,,

第二段说 专能 比( 与别人相处很好却做与工作无关的事情 ) 厉害 ,砖家受欢迎。

并且例证, 古代 boss 都喜欢砖家,但是却是与(加强个人人际交往,喜欢吹政府马屁的人)进行对比!  专项能力 没有变 , 适应力却没有提及。所以感觉有点界定模糊!

第三段 说 专项能力的大神 不用跟人合作也ok。因为他们是大牛,跟人合作就是浪费时间精力。这个论证



我的感觉是   论证A B 哪个好。

你的第二第三 段一定要 围绕 AB

不能给人的感觉是AC好(因为明显地发现CB不是一回事了),这样就不是很扣题了。

好吧,我承认这个题目跟以前练的不太一样,因为以前的都是比较极端的。

我写的也很狗屎。。。。。

关于这种 中立 命题,辩证论题 还是要多多锻炼哈!!!
加油 !!
82#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-3-9 00:03:02 | 只看该作者
感谢music大晚上帮我改作文~我也觉得自己的思维发生紊乱了
我再修改下哈
83#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-3-9 00:24:36 | 只看该作者
3月8日 独立写作
The course setup in colleges and universities is now a heated debate arisen in the public, and under this circumstance the idea appears that universities and colleges ought to offer more courses to prepare students for the future before they start working. I totally agree with this statement.



Generally speaking, as colleges and universities are the links between knowledge and work experience, a highly-qualified education should involve the motheds(methods) of preparation for work. To encourage more students to step into society in a (degage) spirit, my college set an open course called "Instruction of College Students' Future Work", which I took in last semester. Hardworking though I am at school and with excellent academic performance, I have some kind of timidity in front of the unpredictable occasions in future work and the negotiation when cooperating with teammates in a group. When taking that class, the teacher divided us to a few small groups and assigned many interesting subjects to us, which drove us to raise our point of view and communicate with other group members bravely. I was greatly benefited from the class and the experience I had is actually helpful to my future career.



Taking another issue into consideration, more course to instruct students for future in college is of significant importance as knowledge and skills which students are needed. An ability to adapt oneself to a new working environment, for example, is essential to guide undergraduates adjust to a totally different environment from schools, which in some degrees improve their performance in work. Well-being cooperations with colleagues are in need and what is more it is regarded as creteria(criteria) to judge one's real capability. Plus, no ignorance should be attached to skills towards interviews. To a few talents, they are neither well-prepared nor well-skilled when being interviewed, leading to a unexpected consequence of failure. In order to promote students a better job after graduating, colleges and universities have responsibility to provide more courses on job instruction.



Additionally, offering courses for students getting prepared for their future work makes profits to releasing the unemployment problem. According to a research that China nowadays has serious unemployment because the inproper match for jobs and employees. The mid-level salary lived up to the graduates' expectations, which caused a big quantity of students who put themselves on a high stage reluctant to work, and meanwhile less talents are hired by enterprises. One solution to this problem is, in my opinion, is that students accept preparation courses before working.



From every aspect can we draw the same conclusion to promote courses to get students prepared for jobs in colleges and universities before working.
84#
发表于 2012-3-9 13:13:19 | 只看该作者
3月8日 独立写作
The course setup in colleges and universities is now a heated debate arisen in the public, and under this circumstance the idea appears that universities and colleges ought to offer more courses to prepare students for the future before they start working. I totally agree with this statement.



Generally speaking, as colleges and universities are the links between knowledge and work experience(知识和工作经验的桥梁。。。是不是有点不顺?改成理论实践啊,学习知识和步入社会啊什么的是不是好点), a highly-qualified education should involve the motheds(methods) of preparation for work. To encourage more students to step into society in a (degage) spirit, my college set an open course called "Instruction of College Students' Future Work", which I took in last semester. Hardworking though I am at school and with excellent academic performance, I have some kind of timidity in front of the unpredictable occasions in future work and the negotiation when cooperating with teammates in a group. When taking that class, the teacher divided us to a few small groups and assigned many interesting subjects to us, which drove us to raise our point of view and communicate with other group members bravely. I was greatly benefited from the class and the experience I had is actually helpful to my future career.



Taking another issue into consideration, more course to instruct students for future in college is of significant importance as knowledge and skills which students are needed. An ability(不可数吧?建议用The) to adapt oneself to a new working environment, for example, is essential to guide undergraduates to adjust to a totally different environment from schools(读起来好奇怪啊,用an environment (that is)totally different from (that in)schools是不是更顺一点), which in some degrees improve their(这个their是指代的能力吧?那是不是该用its) performance in work. Well-being cooperations with colleagues are in need and what is more it is regarded as creteria(criteria) to judge one's real capability. Plus, no ignorance should be attached to skills towards interviews. To a few talents, they are neither well-prepared nor well-skilled when being interviewed, leading to an unexpected consequence of failure. In order to promote students a better job after graduating(感觉可以用their graduation), colleges and universities have responsibility to provide more courses on job instruction.



Additionally, offering courses for students getting prepared for their future work makes profits to releasing the unemployment problem. According to a research that China nowadays(这里用从句合适么?感觉不如改为according to a reasearch,nowadays China) has serious unemployment because(because后加句子,这边改为because of吧) the inproper match for jobs and employees. The mid-level salary lived up to the graduates' expectations, which caused a big quantity of students who put themselves on a high stage reluctant to work, and meanwhile less talents are hired by enterprises. One solution to this problem is(去掉), in my opinion, is that students accept preparation courses before working.



From every aspect can we draw the same conclusion to promote courses to get students prepared for jobs in colleges and universities before working.(得出的结论
应该是XXXX是正确的/必要的。。。什么的吧?draw the same conclusion that to promote courses to get students prepared for jobs in colleges and universities before working is necessory?总感觉你这么说有点不太搭)
85#
发表于 2012-3-9 13:18:17 | 只看该作者
另,第二段例子很好,但是如果借此点明一下,现在的大学生普遍缺乏适应社会的能力,因此更加需要学校加以培养,是不是更好呢?
86#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-3-9 23:25:44 | 只看该作者
【晨依修改稿】





The course setup in colleges and universities is now a heated debate arisen in the public, and under this circumstance the idea appears that universities and colleges ought to offer more courses to prepare students for the future before they start working. I totally agree with this statement.






Generally speaking, as colleges and universities are the intermediate between theory and practice, a highly-qualified education should involve the methods of preparation for work. To encourage more students to step into society in adegagespirit, my college set an open course called "Instruction of College Students' Future Work", which I took in last semester. Hardworking though I am at school and with excellent academic performance, I have some kind of timidity in front of the unpredictable occasions in future work and the negotiation when cooperating with teammates in a group. When taking that class, the teacher divided us to a few small groups and assigned many interesting subjects to us, which drove us to raise our point of view and communicate with other group members bravely. I was greatly benefited from the class and the experience I had is actually helpful to my future career.

Taking another issue into consideration, more course to instruct students for future in college is of significant importance as knowledge and skills which students are needed. The abilityto adapt oneself to a new working environment, for example, is essential to guide undergraduates to adjust to an environment which istotally different from schools,which in some degrees improve studentsperformance in work. Well-being cooperations with colleagues are in need and what is more, it is regarded as criteriato judge one's real capability. Plus, no ignorance should be attached to skills towards interviews. To a few talents, they are neither well-prepared nor well-skilled when being interviewed, leading to an unexpected consequence of failure. In order to promote students a better job after their graduation, colleges and universities have responsibility to provide more courses on job instruction.

Additionally, offering courses for students getting prepared for their future work makes profits to releasing the unemployment problem. According to a research, China nowadayshas serious unemployment because of the inproper match for jobs and employees. The mid-level salary lived up to the graduates' expectations, which caused a big quantity of students who put themselves on a high stage reluctant to work, and meanwhile less talents are hired by enterprises. One solution to this problem , in my opinion, is that students accept preparation courses before working.
From every aspect can we draw the same conclusion that to promote courses to get students prepared for jobs in colleges and universities before working is essential.
87#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-3-10 21:18:00 | 只看该作者
310日 独立写作

When one of my classmates encounters some problems in study and needs help from others, I would first suggest him or her go to the teacher's office asking the directions of a professional teacher without any hesitation. If no tutor he or she finds, I feel like make my efforts to work out the problems with my classmate instead.

Primarily, as a professional tutor is expertize in some certain fields, he is the second to none to be chosed(chosen) to solve difficult problems. With abundant teaching experience, a teacher is prone to make hasty solution as soon as he reads the problem, which costs a student less time and additionally a teacher may emphasize the important points which the student ought to know and analyze the question to him. From this aspect, my classmate not only can have his problem solved in only few minutes but also better understand his weakness in study. During my middle school life, I often asked my teacher for help when met with difficult problems. Every time I visited my teacher, he made clear expressions and accurate analysis to me, which beyond my expectations. So we can conclude that asking a professional teacher for help is actually an effective and rewarding way when a student is faced with difficulties.

However, teachers, especially professors in college, are busy working and doing research. Hence, to find them for professional instruction is not an easy thing. Under this circumstance, I am willing to offer my selfless help for solving the problems my classmate meet with, for my knowledge may have a little positive effect to his solving the problems. As for me, to help others is to help myself. Assist my classmate with difficult problems is the high time that I can examine my master of knowledge in class, and to check out if there is some important points I have missed. Though I am not as expert as a professional tutor, I would love to share my knowledge with my classmate and spare no effort working out the problem. As joint efforts are more powerful, we can ask other top students for help. I, as a matter of fact, usually communicated with some excellent students when came across with troubles in my assignments. A discussion with them is also beneficial to broaden my horizons and refresh my thoughts, moreover it strengthens our friendship. That is why I recommend offer help to my classmate as the second suggestion.

Ultimately, when help is necessary for one of my classmates with his schoolwork, I strongly advice him to turn to a professional teacher for help. If the condition is restricted, I am sure to offer my effort to assist him with the solution.
88#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-3-11 00:58:18 | 只看该作者
TPO24 综合--
今天的阅读就没大看明白,然后听力云里雾里,只知道是在反驳……写的时候又没法看着阅读来写,就照着自己的笔记写的。
希望狠批!而且我每次写综合20min之后就觉得无话可写了,求指教啊~~
What the reading material and the listening passage are both concentrating on the discovery of dinasour(dinosaur) fossil T-rex, a 70-million-year old leg bone of dinasour(dinosaur). As we can learn from the reading text, the new discovery is of great value; in contrast, the lecturer regard the identification skeptical.



To begin with, there are small branch channels on the leg bone containing blood vessel, which prove the location of the dinasour(dinosaur), according to the reading text. But the listening content denies that point for the blood vessels may be something else. The lecturer says that when the organ dies, bacterium will appear on the leg bone, from some researches and reading statistics. So it cannot be concluded that the soft vessels are rescued.



In the second place, it is said in the reading that after examining parts of the inner bone, there is presence of spheres and red blood cells which is the best description. While the lecturer argues against the idea. He maintains that fossils of primitate(primitive?) animals do not have spheres, and the identical appeared the organition should not remain red blood cells. What is more, he make a brave suppose that the so-called red blood cell is some kind of redish mirror.



Thirdly, the reading material supports the point of view by the containing of collagen. It describes that the collagen is find in association with bone tissue. This saying is also contradicted to the lecturer's mind. He does not think that collagen lasts longer than 100 thousand years, not to mention a history over 70 million years. Hence, the collagen found in the T-rex is likely to be from much recent source or maybe it is discovered because the contact of people's skin handling the bone.



In conclusion, the listening material strongly contradict with the reading passage for three reasons above concerning the T-rex.


89#
发表于 2012-3-11 15:50:44 | 只看该作者
我也有同感啊,总是没有思绪泉涌的感觉,建议多看点东西,扩充知识面~我最近借了本文言文看,里面有大学语文所有的文章
90#
发表于 2012-3-11 22:16:28 | 只看该作者
3月10日 独立写作
When one of my classmates encounters with(这个后面需要要with) some problem (question可数的 ,problem不可数。前者指书本中或向老师或其他人问的问题,后者比前者严重,指麻烦等,problem 一般是不可数的,但特殊情况下也可以用作可数
比如指具体的问题 )
in study and needs help from others, I would first suggest going(suggest 习惯在后面加(sb's) doing而不用suggest to do,详http://wenku.baidu.com/view/9a5dffed4afe04a1b071de17.html) to the teacher's office asking the directions of a professional teacher without any hesitation. If no tutor he or she finds, I feel like making(feel like doing=want to do,没有feel like to do这种用法) my efforts to work out the problem with my classmate instead.Primarily, as a professional tutor is expertize in (这个搭配挺好的)some certain fields, he is the second to none to be chosed(chosen) to solve difficult problems. With abundant teaching experience, a teacher is prone to make hasty solution as soon as he reads the problem, which costs a student less time (这个地方怎么会是很少呢?没读明白,应该是more吧?)and additionally a teacher may emphasize the important points which the student ought to know and analyze the question to him. From this aspect, my classmate not only can(建议把not ony 放到have后面) have his problem solved in only few minutes but also better understand his weakness in study. During my middle school life, I often asked my teacher for help when met with(不用with,meet是及物的) difficult problems. Every time I visited my teacher, he made clear expressions and accurate analysis to me, which beyond my expectations(不用加s). So we can conclude that asking a professional teacher for help is actually an effective (建议用efficient有效率的更换,effective是有效的意思)and rewarding way when a student is faced with difficulties.
运用了事例法,果然占了很多字数~
However, teachers, especially professors in college, are busy working and doing(conducting) research. Hence, to find them for professional instruction is not an easy thing. Under this circumstance, I am willing to offer my selfless help for solving the problems my classmate meet with, for my knowledge may have a little positive effect to (on)his solving the problems. As for me, to help others is to help myself. Assisting my classmate with difficult problems is the high time that I can examine my master of knowledge in class, and to check out if there is(are) some important points I have missed. Though I am not as expert as a professional tutor, I would love to share my knowledge with my classmates and spare no effort working out the problem. As joint efforts are more powerful, we can ask other top students for help. I, as a matter of fact, usually communicated(communicate) with some excellent students when came(coming 这个是你自己遇到的问题, 所以用主态) across with troubles in my assignments. A discussion with them is also beneficial to broaden my horizons and refresh my thoughts, moreover it strengthens our friendship. That is why I recommend offer help to my classmate as the second suggestion.Ultimately, when help is necessary for one of my classmates with his schoolwork, I strongly advice him to turn to a professional teacher for help. If the condition is restricted, I am sure to offer my effort to assist him with the solution.
词汇不错,先表扬一下,不过不能骄傲啊

总共是四段,第二段是说问老师好,第三段是说问自己的好处,这么写条理性不够,读起来感觉两种方法都很好,个人认为题目的意思是从里面选一个更好地出来,如果说问老师好,那就重点写它好,然后用让步的写法,多说说它为什么不如问学生的好。
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