晨依小超人的写作贴，欢迎拍砖！

byron777

                   3月3日 独立写作


As we are living in an exaggerately(exaggeratively) entertained time（era好些吧）, no one would deny people are surrounded by a variaty(variety) of entertainment sush(such) as karaokes, movies, video games and so on. Though some people actually benefit from such entertainment, in my opinion, movies and television programs have more negative influence on the way young people behave for a few reasons（建议改成两句，更清晰的阐明thesis statement.我试下啊：Despite\Regardless some people actually benefit from such entertainment, though, in my opinion, movies and television programs have more negative infuence on young people, especially on the way they behave. In the following paragraphs, I am going to discuss some reasons of it.

To begin with, young people are likely to (be)affected by their idols(') behaviors. With the popularity(spread或有动态的感觉，or改成increasing popularity) of movies and televion(television) programs, film stars and some actors are becoming more welcome by（among, welcome is an adjective, or use welcomed as a verb） the young. An increasing number of celebrities in entertainment industry are being hailed as idols by (the)youth, according to a recent research from China Youth and Children Center(哇塞真的么？好厉害). From the research we can see celebrities, especially actors and actress in movies an soap opreas(operas), are ranking first and far beyond（far beyond用在这里有些奇怪，想个别的表达方法，我还没想好。。） worker models, heroes and artists. That is to say, those stars from movies or televions(television) have a strong instruction to the way young people behave. However, it is known to all that there are lots of crimes, affairs, as well as drug addiction in the entertainment industry, which is detrimental to the growth of young people.

Additionally, movies and television are often fictional, which demand exaggerating the story or adding some imaginary details during the process of production to make it more entertaining to audience. As a matter of fact, children are too young to justify whether the story showed on the big screen in the theater is true. For example, the character of Superman is unreal, because there does not exist a man flying everywhere to help people get rid of trouble. But children may have the tendency to imitate the Superman's behavior without questioning if he really has the ability of flying here and there. To some degree, young people are often misled to acquiring knowledge from many fictional stories or scientific movies.

What we could not neglect is that television programs like Discovery or Animal World are of significance in teaching young people, and what is more inspiring their adventure spirits(这个明显病句哈). But to appeal（appeal to sb, attract attention） more attention, producers and directors are prone to make movies or television programme funny and interesting by modifying details of the scripts, ignoring the harmful effects which may affect the way young people behave. In fact, no related policy has been published by our country to make a restriction to entertainment industry(这个是要说我国规定娱乐业不涉及政治么？表述不准吧。试改下：In fact, "not relating to politics" has been a restriction to entertainment industry in our country,which is made by our government, in order to avoid this consequently too radical behavior).

In conclusion, in spite of the amusement movies and television have brought to people, they have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave.

整体很流畅很规范，最后一段充实点就更好了，有的地方没法连了就改成两句，其他，再多加点细节，比如如何affect behavior了，倒数第二段最后一句感觉还有可展开的地方。

晨依Jacqueline

O(∩_∩)O谢谢Byron~明天再看哈！

chasedreamabc

3月4日 独立写作
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children should take similar jobs with parents.


As parents are children's best teachers, children are easily affected by their(应该是打字的时候的问题吧，这词不该出现啊） what their parents do when growing up. To some extent, a few people hold the idea that children should take similar jobs with their parents. Though parents may instruct their children to have a better development based on their abundant working experience, I still argue for children choosing their own career in their future, not following their parents' jobs.



First and foremost, we are now living in an era which is sharply different from the time our parents live in（个人感觉既然想强调时代的不同是不是该用过去式）, and thus the prospect and condition of jobs could not be considered the same with their parents'. My father, who owns a diploma of graduation from high school, entered Industrial and Commercial Bank of China at the age of twenty and now he has been promoted as a manager of that bank. However, taking a general look at the requirement of employers, it might be difficult for an undergraduate majored in Finance to work in a bank as a primary officer. That is to say, I have to struggle against too many excellent students for the same job as my parents' under the totally different circumstance. So I don't think it sensible for children to take similar jobs with parents.



In the second place, children should choose jobs on their interests and persue their own future career without the influence of their parents. In my opinion, every person has equal rights to chase his dream, even it is hard to realize. To tell the truth, I was forced to major in finance by my parents when I entered college because finance was expected to bring extremely high salaries in the future. But I am always dreaming of becoming a teacher sharing knowledge with others, and that won criticize from my parents. With a resistance to finance, I got very low scores in my academic performance and it further proved that I was not suitable to take the similar jobs with my parents.



Some people argue that taking a job which is similar to parents is an readily way to have further development in the future, for they are familiar with the information of that job and may have priority to a better social relationship of that field. But to take similar jobs with parents, from my point of view, is detrimental to children's independence. For children are benefited from their parents work, they are prone to decrease the ability of making decisions and solving problems on their own.

In sum, though there exists convenience for children taking similar jobs with their parents, negative effects overweigh the positive effects. Children should make a sensible decision when choosing their jobs.

读起来很顺啊，只是感觉论证稍有些不严密了吧。。。

晨依Jacqueline

3月5日 独立写作Do you agree or disagree with this the following statement? Spending money on travelling and vocation is better than saving for future.


When talking about the worldwide economy depression, some people tend to be more prudent in spending their money. An increasing number of people reduce their costs on traveling in order to meet their future need. However, I prefer spending money on traveling to saving money for future use. In my view, traveling is not only a kind of consumption, but also a rewarding activity.

Above all， traveling can broaden people's horizons and enrich their life experience. Actually, an enjoyable journey benefits people in a large scale. In my own experience, I took a tour to Australia for nearly one week last summer which expanded my view. For example, the free drinking water appliance on the road really surprised me a lot because I had never thought that the government could provide so convenient supply for its people. And after that I dreamed of making contributions to my city by applying the advanced concepts and technology abroad to our own social conditions. In addition, I appreciated their pursuing of freedom and the mixture of different culture there. So, I would never regret for my costs on traveling.

Moreover, people who spend money on traveling are likely to be more optimistic to life. It is a positive attitude towards life that makes them believe all things will be fine so that they don't have to worry about the uncertain things in the future. John, a friend of mine, once got involved into a stressful and depressed time when starting his business. He made himself a holiday flying to Aruba Island, relaxing and rethinking. As a result, the transformative trip accelerated his success and he is now wealthy and energetic. On the contrary, heavy exposure to concerns for the unpredictable future may easily lead people to an upset and worrying life which makes it possible for people to get into troubles or illness when they are getting old.

Last but not the least, spending money on traveling is beneficial to make new friends and expand our social circles. By traveling, people can meet and communicate with various kinds of people, which may bring more opportunities and possibilities in the future. If something urgent takes place, a million of dollars might not help people more than a true friend. In ancient China, a group number of governors gave their servants large amount of money traveling around in order to make acquaintances with some outstanding people and consequently made good use of their brilliance to help themselves in political affairs.

To sum up, it is more worthwhile spending money on traveling than saving today's wealth for future. That is because traveling contributes to a more colorful life of a broaden view, a positive attitude and a big crowd of friends and they are of great importance when people need help in the future.

晨依Jacqueline

3月6日
TPO20 Integrated Writing

The reading material and the lecture are both concentrated on the "Let it burn" policy, which means not to suppress the big forest fires. Taking the 1988 fierce fire broke out in Yellowstone park, the reading passage regards it as a destruction, while the professor thinks it creative.

First of all, we can learn from the reading material that the Yellowstone fire caused tremendous damage to plants and trees, which could not grow on the scorched wasteland. However, the listening material holds the idea that after the 1988 fire, new plants were able to grow on the wasteland, which provided the park a diversity of vegetations. For example, a lot of small plants were enabled to grow in an open and unshaded environment and got quickly widespread. Plus, seeds which could survive in a heated area had the opportunity to generate.

In the second place, views promoted by the reading text is that the wildlife have been affected by the fierce fire, consequently the small animals failed to escape from the fire. In contrast, the professor thinks that does not hold water because the animal population recovered after the big fire. For instance, the forest fire created new opportunity for rabbits and hares to have new habitant, and moreover, the food chains in the eco-circle became stronger ever since.

Last but not least, the forest fire might compromise the value of park tourist attraction and what is more influenced its economy, according to the reading passage. But the professor points out that it is not a problem for the fire in 1988 was caused by the special weather, when there was low rainfalls, strong winds, and even dry areas. Occasionally the fire breaks out, we have no necessity to prevent the fire from breaking out. Hence, we could not draw a hasty conclusion that the fire was detrimental to the tourist attraction.

晨依Jacqueline

3月6日 独立写作

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Nowadays it’s much easier to achieve success with the help from one’s family than what is like before.


As we are sharing a more substantial life in the modern society, an increasing number of people consider it much easier to achieve success with the help from one's family members that what is like before. Though the living standard has been sharply raised in recent years, I fancy parents' assistance is no more helpful for people to obtain a successful life than it was in past years. My reasons are as follows.

To begin with, the generation gap is and will be existing permanently, even expanding as the science and technique develops. It is known to all that generation gap is becoming the biggest obstacle which stuck the communications between parents and children, so as to grandparents and children. Young people, me included, are likely to be affected by ideas from others because those thoughts are regarded as experienced and wise ones; thus they usually have their decisions made totally different from their original ideas. As a matter of fact, I am dreaming of becoming a teacher in the future, sharing knowledge and enlightening other people. However, I was forced to give up my dream and change my major to Human Resource Management, which was considered as a very promising career by my family. Neither passion nor enthusiasm towards my present major, I actually do not have faith in succeeding the so-called promising future. To some degrees, it is not easier to achieve success with different point of view interfering than what is like in the past.

Another point we should not neglect is, success is more self-depended than affected by the help of one's family. Even if family members are concerned about the young, sometimes their helping hands have negative effects on the juniors. There is a story, called "A Bad Writing" in the famous comic series "Father and Son", which describes a kind father helped his son with the assignment, but his bad writing enraged the teacher the next day and finally the teacher rushed to his house spanking the father. We can learn from that short humor that what the father supposed to be helpful indeed harmed his son, and furthermore his action of love prevented his son from being independent in the future. On the contrary, many richmen like Bill Gates, as we are familiar with, succeed in both his career and life without the help of their parents. Hence, it contrasts the statement that easier success is gained than in the past.

Admittedly, the raising material life standard does good to people's success. However, since the generation gap still blocks the communication between young and elder people, and what is more help from family members are sometimes harmful to one's personal development. So we cannot draw a hasty conclusion that it is easier for people to achieve success than what is like in the past.

晨依Jacqueline

3月7日 独立写作
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The ability to adapt to a new environment is more important than excellent knowledge for a job.
I totally disagree with the statement mentioned above that the ability to adapt to a new environment is of more importance than excellent knowledge for a job. Two reasons listed below are supporting my point of view.

To begin with, what a company needs is a talent stuff with excellent knowledge which is helpful to raise its profits but not a person who only gets well with others doing nothing related to work. As Bacon once said, Knowledge is power. A person, who is an expert in a specific field is more welcome by an enterprise because his knowledge is the creativity to promoting the whole company's further development. In ancient China, people with excellent knowledge and talents were usually hired by the emproer(emperor/royal) and made contributions to the construction of country. However, the officials who only strengthened their interpersonal relationships and spoke highly of the governers(dominator) were not paid much attention to. In my opinion, one's intelligence is more valuable for it is gifted while the ability to adapt a new environment can be cultivated in growth.

In addition, a man with excellent knowledge is not always in need of cooperating with others. As we all know that a number of scientists achieve their success all by their own, so they don't have the resposibility(responsibility) to learn how to get along with other people or adapt themselves to a new environment. On the contrary, to develop the ability to adapt to a new environment is a waste of their talents. The Juli couple(The Curies), who are the world famous chemistrists(chemists) in Polland(Poland), intended not to be bothered by others during their poccess(process) of experiments, thus they abandoned their chairs in order to have the visitors left quickly. For the couple were busy with fatal experiments, they were reluctant to improve their abilities of adapting to a new environment, but finally they succeeded in invention of the radiated elements. Hence, the ability to get along well with others is no more fundamental under some certain circumstances for excellent people who don't have to work with others.

No doubt that we attach significance to the ability of adapting oneself to a brand new environment. However, knowledge is also a key element in contributing to a career, and what is more, a gifted person does not always need to get well with others to obtain success. In conclusion, adaption to a job is no more important than excellent knowledge for a job.

晨依Jacqueline

TPO19 Integrated Writing

The reading material shows the critics towards a new type of advertisement-buzzing, in which it argues the buzzing is fake and should be banned. On the contrary, the speaker of the listening material, who is a buzzer himself opposes the reading text.

In the first place, the reading material thinks that buzzers are paid to promote the products instead of praise the goods from their bottom of heart. While Bill, the lecturer holds the opinion that buzzers are usually consumers who speak highly of the products after real use. Buzzers regard the service they had useful so that they are willing to promote the goods not only for being paid.

Secondly, point provided by the reading content is that the description of the buzzers are empty and they pretended themselves as private individuals, for which reason it is not trust-worthy. In contrast, the lecturer agrees to the opposite. He considers only by answering the questions in details can their products promoted, so they are paid for complicating the good service.

Furthermore, the worst detrimental effect pointed in the reading is that buzzing is pron to harm spread mistrust and dishonesty, harming the social relationships. That idea is considered stupid by the lecturer, who thinks there is no recruiting buzz and actually it is a good experience which would not threaten the interpersonal relationship.

In conclusion, the reading material holds an opposite attitude to buzzings but the lecturer, who is a buzzer argues that the reading text mislead the consumers of buzzings.

byron777

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Nowadays it’s much easier to achieve success with the help from one’s family than what is like before.


As we are sharing a more substantial life in the modern society, an increasing number of people consider it much easier to achieve success with the help from one's family members that what is like before. Though the living standard has been sharply raised in recent years, I fancy parents' assistance is no more helpful for people to obtain a successful life than it was in past years. My reasons are as follows.

To begin with, the generation gap is and will be existing permanently, even expanding as the science and technique develops. It is known to all that generation gap is becoming the biggest obstacle which stuck the communications between parents and children, so as to grandparents and children. Young people, me included, are likely to be affected by ideas from others because those thoughts are regarded as experienced and wise ones; thus they usually have their decisions made totally different from their original ideas. As a matter of fact, I am dreaming of becoming a teacher in the future, sharing knowledge and enlightening other people. However, I was forced to give up my dream and change my major to Human Resource Management, which was considered as a very promising career by my family. Neither passion nor enthusiasm towards my present major, I actually do not have faith in succeeding the so-called promising future. To some degrees, it is not easier to achieve success with different point of view interfering than what is like in the past.

Another point we should not neglect is, success is more self-depended than affected by the help of one's family. Even if family members are concerned about the young, sometimes their helping hands have negative effects on the juniors. There is a story, called "A Bad Writing" in the famous comic series "Father and Son", which describes a kind father helped his son with the assignment, but his bad writing enraged the teacher the next day and finally the teacher rushed to his house spanking the father. We can learn from that short humor that what the father supposed to be helpful indeed harmed his son, and furthermore his action of love prevented his son from being independent in the future. On the contrary, many richmen like Bill Gates, as we are familiar with, succeed in both his career and life without the help of their parents. Hence, it contrasts the statement that easier success is gained than in the past.

Admittedly, the raising material life standard does good to people's success. However, since the generation gap still blocks the communication between young and elder people, and what is more help from family members are sometimes harmful to one's personal development. So we cannot draw a hasty conclusion that it is easier for people to achieve success than what is like in the past.


晨依你现在的文章基本挑不出错误了

考托的话28、9也差不多噻

托充其量只是中级英语考试而已，作文到这个水平，已经可以极高分喽

所以感觉你已经可以加强其他方面的练习，从经济学的角度，以后作文就不用这么勤奋了

当然了，你的文章还是有很大很大提升空间的，但是并不属于托福范畴

篇章结构，句子构成，用词习惯，典型的中国思路且比较平淡，这个我给其他同学看也是一样的感觉，那同学最近刚拿到杜伦和华威的offer（本科，我们大一嘛）

再多说我都感觉唠叨了，基本把想说的表达完了，如果要再上一个层次的话，咱们再聊

晨依Jacqueline

谢谢Byron~
我现在写得有点困惑了，每次要想半天观点和例子。而且确实是很多词句用的自己也觉得很没意思……
我是不是应该多看看范文什么的~？其实我现在写作文就是想练练速度和思路的说