晨依小超人的写作贴，欢迎拍砖！

晨依Jacqueline

晨依的独立写作来了~~~欢迎大家狂轰滥炸咯、
2月26日 独立写作

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes.

No one would deny that one may make a large number of mistakes during his life. I totally agree with the statement that parents should allow their children to make mistakes in order to let them learn from their own mistakes. Three reasons are listed below.

At the beginning, making mistakes helps children learn more experience than they are taught by parents. So it is important for parents to encourage children to learn experience from their failures, and then children will hardly make the same mistake again. There's a proverb saying that failure is the mother of success. Just take the famous scientist Edison, who invented bulbs, as an example. It was the mistakes he made in the previous experiment and the constant experience that led to his final success of such outstanding invention. In contrast, if he was prevented making so many mistakes by parents, he wouldn't get to know what materials on earth can expand the life of bulbs.
In the second place, parents' experience are not suitable for every situation their childrens(children) meet with, even some advice which used to be correct is of no use at all. Living in a fast changing society, the generation gap is becoming larger and larger. So does the concept and value between parents and children. Once I had some difficulties in finishing my essays, my father suggested me that I should make a copy of my classmetes(classmates) and then have some details revised like he did in his college life. However, it failed to please my tutor and I only got a very low mark. Not until that thing happened did I realize that experience from parents might not be the best advice for me and I should obtain treasure experience from my own mistakes.

What's more, making a summary of the previous failure is beneficial for children to enrich their life experience. From my point of view, parents have the responsibility to instruct children's behavior, but not to prevent them from making mistakes. My mother is such a wise woman because she always respects my idea and give me some useful suggestions. Moreover, she never gets angry about my mistake even if it has a detrimental influence. Instead, she helps me analyzing problems and make a conclusion from my errors. As far as I'm concerned, looking back the mistakes we have made is the best way to avoid making new mistakes.

In sum, it is of great significance for parents to allow their children to make a few mistakes. From the previous failures, children can learn a lot of experience which is indispensable to their futuer(future) development.

晨依Jacqueline

2月23日作文修改
【晨依修改稿】
As the society we are living in is changing all the time with a high speed, what we used to totally agree with can no longer catch up withthe pace today. In such a "fast world", a large number of people agree with the statement that advice from grandparents for their grandchildren is of no use. I, however, argue for the opposite.

To begin with, grandparents usually have adequate life experience, which makes them more sensitive dealing with various things. From that aspect, they are the best advisors for grandchildren solving all kinds of problems. To be honest, my grandmother, is my closest friend and listener. When I ran into troubles, she always helped me analyze the situation and provided me very useful adviceaccording to her own experience. Though sometimes she was not quite familiar with the terrible condition I had confronted, her instructions could inspire me to cope with some emergencies in a proper way.

Furthermore, the concept our grandparents hold is more prudent and conservative. What we may see as old-fashioned ideas may have a significant influence on making right decisions. A few years ago, I told my grandmother that I would like to shift all my deposit to stocks although she didn't actually know stocks well. To my surprise, she persuaded me not to takea risk because she thought that it was not high time to buy shares. I consequently accepted her suggestion though I firmly believed that it was a great chance to earn a great deal of money in a short period. Faced with the serious inflation later, consequently, her cautiousness made sense.(这个地方没有查到哎、改成consequently了~)

No one would deny that our world is changing rapidly and things maybe extremely different compared to the past 50 years. Admittedly, the gap between grandparents and grandchildren is increasingly enlarged with highly developed science and technology. However, that does not mean that points from grandparents are out of date. No doubt that we should take their ideas into consideration in case of repeating the mistakes they have made in their youths. Additionally, their advices are beneficial to making ourselves more mature when meeting with incidents.

Since grandparents have abundant experience and more prudent attitude,  grandchildren do have the necessityto respect their suggestions. After all, truth can stand the test of time. In conclusion, words from grandparents are useful to their grandchildren even in a fast-changing world.

晨依Jacqueline

2月24日修改稿~因为改了比较多地方，麻烦Music再帮我看一下、thx a million~~~
【晨依修改稿】
Life in ancient time was extremelyhard for people and there used to be no heatings in the winter, no cars to go further, or even no intermedia to communicate with other people.

Thanks to the great inventions, such as air-conditioners, automobiles and cell phones, etc. They have significantly changed people's lives. From my view, though science and technology develop in a high speed, the most significant improvements have already happened.The air-conditioner, as for as I'm concerned,has becomeone of the most important inventions to improve people's living conditions in the past 100 years.It is a high-tech machine which can be controlled to adjust the temperature to make people feel comfortable only in a couple of minutes. By setting it to a lower temperature, we can have a even cooler summer day instead of waving fans or wiping sweat. Likewise, a central heating provides people an easy access to enjoying a warm winter without burning coals. For the great convenience and powerful functions, air-conditioners are widely accepted by a majority of people and make significant contributionstoimproving people's living standard,(把中间重复的半句删掉了)though they will beproduced more multifunctional with the development of technology in the future.


The air-conditioner, as for as I'm concerned, has become one of the most important inventionsto improve people's living conditions in the past 100 years.It is a high-tech machine which can be controlled to adjust the temperature to make people feel comfortable only in a couple of minutes. By setting it to a lower temperature, we can have a even cooler summer day instead of waving fans or wiping sweat. Likewise, a central heating provides people an easy access to enjoying a warm winter without burning coals. For the great convenience and powerful functions, air-conditioners are widely accepted by a majority of people and make significant contributions to improvingpeople's living standard,(把中间重复的半句删掉了)though they will beproduced more multifunctionalwith the development of technology in the future.

Also, cars havesucceeded in making surprising improvements in people's lives. As we all know, cars, which include taxis, trucks, buses and so on, haveadaptedto all sorts of requirements in the modern society. We could never haveimagined that one day we can reach everywhere we want with the help of automobiles freely. In Han Dynasty when there were no cars,people made use of horses as a kind of transportationand had to tolerate the inconvenience.At that time, it usually took people as long as a few days to report the situation of the war to the emperor, thus,soldiershad to wait for the permission from the general to attack enemies. The delays often led to missing the best opportunityof fighting againstthe enemies. However, cars have shortened the time spending in the long-distance places and accelerated people's connections.

Furthermore, the more frequent and swifter communication among people benefited from cell phones is another improvement taken place.(music,这句肿么了?) Unlike  making use of doves to deliver messages or making fires as signals, cell phones changed people's lives in an unbelievable way. In just a few seconds, a friend from the opposite site of the world is able to accept our texting message sent by our cell phones. How fantastic the cell phones are!Just as the advertisement of Iphone 4Ssays, mobile phones actually "changed the world for a second time".


Admittedly, we have abundantconfidence in the prospective development of science and technology. (这个地方有异议所以没有改) However, the most significant improvementsindeed have taken place in changing people's living conditions, transportations and communications.

jiaosisisisi

2月24日修改稿~因为改了比较多地方，麻烦Music再帮我看一下、thx a million~~~
【晨依修改稿】
Life in ancient time was extremelyhard for people and there used to be no heatings in the winter, no cars to go further, or even no intermedia to communicate with other people.

Thanks to the great inventions, such as air-conditioners, automobiles and cell phones, etc. They have significantly changed people's lives. From my view, though science and technology develop in a high speed, the most significant improvements have already happened.The air-conditioner, as for as I'm concerned,has becomeone of the most important inventions to improve people's living conditions in the past 100 years.It is a high-tech machine which can be controlled to adjust the temperature to make people feel comfortable only in a couple of minutes. By setting it to a lower temperature, we can have a even cooler summer day instead of waving fans or wiping sweat. Likewise, a central heating provides people an easy access to enjoying a warm winter without burning coals. For the great convenience and powerful functions, air-conditioners are widely accepted by a majority of people and make significant contributionstoimproving people's living standard,(把中间重复的半句删掉了)though they will beproduced more multifunctional with the development of technology in the future.


The air-conditioner, as for as I'm concerned, has become one of the most important inventionsto improve people's living conditions in the past 100 years.It is a high-tech machine which can be controlled to adjust the temperature to make people feel comfortable only in a couple of minutes. By setting it to a lower temperature, we can have a even cooler summer day instead of waving fans or wiping sweat. Likewise, a central heating provides people an easy access to enjoying a warm winter without burning coals. For the great convenience and powerful functions, air-conditioners are widely accepted by a majority of people and make significant contributions to improvingpeople's living standard,(把中间重复的半句删掉了)though they will beproduced more multifunctionalwith the development of technology in the future.

Also, cars havesucceeded in making surprising improvements in people's lives. As we all know, cars, which include taxis, trucks, buses and so on, haveadaptedto all sorts of requirements in the modern society. We could never haveimagined that one day we can reach everywhere we want with the help of automobiles freely. In Han Dynasty when there were no cars,people made use of horses as a kind of transportationand had to tolerate the inconvenience.At that time, it usually took people as long as a few days to report the situation of the war to the emperor, thus,soldiershad to wait for the permission from the general to attack enemies. The delays often led to missing the best opportunityof fighting againstthe enemies. However, cars have shortened the time spending in the long-distance places and accelerated people's connections.

Furthermore, the more frequent and swifter communication among people benefited from cell phones is another improvement taken place.(music,这句肿么了?) Unlike  making use of doves to deliver messages or making fires as signals, cell phones changed people's lives in an unbelievable way. In just a few seconds, a friend from the opposite site of the world is able to accept our texting message sent by our cell phones. How fantastic the cell phones are!Just as the advertisement of Iphone 4Ssays, mobile phones actually "changed the world for a second time".


Admittedly, we have abundantconfidence in the prospective development of science and technology. (这个地方有异议所以没有改) However, the most significant improvementsindeed have taken place in changing people's living conditions, transportations and communications.

-- by 会员 晨依Jacqueline (2012/2/26 16:27:39)

  先抢了这楼。。。晚些帮你看！！！
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联系方式：XXXXXXX8043
另外 各种办假证！
办各式各样的结婚证、离婚证 ect.
联系方式：XXXXXXXX8043

晨依Jacqueline

Music你介是肿么了...speechless有木有...

noarkid

改到一半浏览器出问题，申请延长时间

noarkid

晨依的独立写作来了~~~欢迎大家狂轰滥炸咯、
2月26日 独立写作

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes.

No one would deny that one may make a large number of mistakes during his life. I totally agree with the statement that parents should allow their children to make mistakes in order to let them learn from their own mistakes. Three reasons are listed below.

At the beginning, making mistakes helps children learn more experience(建议去了) than they are taught by parents. So it is important for parents to encourage children to learn experience from their failures, and then children will hardly make the same mistake again. There's a proverb saying that failure is the mother of success. Just take the famous scientist Edison, who invented bulbs, as an example. It was the mistakes he made in the previous experiment and the constant experience that led to his final success of such outstanding invention. In contrast, if he was prevented making so many mistakes by parents,（he would never keep on his research any more, and thus） he wouldn't get to know what materials on earth can expand the life of bulbs.
In the second place, parents' experience are not suitable for every situation their childrens(children) meet with, even some advice which used to be correct is of no use at all. Living in a fast changing society, the generation gap is becoming larger and larger. So does the concept and value between parents and children.(这句话和后边接不上) Once I had some difficulties in finishing my essays, my father suggested me that I should make a copy of my classmetes(classmates) and then have some details revised like he did in his college life.（亲~这样子更好，这里最好倒装或者把最后一句做一个插入语：my father suggested me that I make a copy from my classmates, just as what he had done in college life, and then have some details revised.）However, it failed to please my tutor(语气上可以强烈一些it enrage my tutor) and I only got a very low mark. Not until that thing happened did I realize that experience from parents might not be the best advice(the advice from parents might not be the best one)for me and I should obtain treasure experience from my own mistakes.

What's more, making a summary of the previous failure is beneficial for children to enrich their life experience.(benefit children by enriching their life experience) From my point of view, parents have the responsibility to instruct children's behavior, but not to prevent(stop/keep/block/) them from making mistakes. My mother is such a wise woman because she always respects my idea and give me some useful suggestions.(全无必要，和前面接不上) Moreover, she never gets angry about my mistake even if it has a detrimental influence. Instead, she helps me analyzing（analyze） problems and make a conclusion from my errors. As far as I'm concerned, looking back the mistakes we have made is the best way to avoid making new mistakes.

In sum, it is of great significance for parents to allow their children to make a few mistakes. From the previous failures, children can learn a lot of experience which is indispensable to their futuer(future) development.

noarkid

文章通顺上还要下点功夫，剩下都很好了

晨依Jacqueline

文章通顺上还要下点功夫，剩下都很好了

-- by 会员 noarkid (2012/2/27 22:22:49)

谢谢noarkid，虽然有点晚啊~~还是很感谢，我明天看

jiaosisisisi

给你又改了下 。。。你 自己 斟酌下  喽~

Life in ancient time wasextremelyhard for people and there used to be no heatings in the winter, no cars to go further, or even no intermedia to communicate with other people.Thanks to the great inventions, such asair-conditioners, automobiles and cell phones, etc.They have significantly changed people's lives. From my view, though science and technology develop in a high speed, the most significant improvements have already happened.


The airconditioner, as far as I'm concerned,has becomeone of the most important inventionstoimprovepeople's living conditions in the past 100 years.It is a high-tech machine which can be controlled to adjust the temperature to make people feel comfortable only in a couple of minutes. By setting it to a lower temperature, we can have a even cooler summer day instead of waving fans orwiping sweat.Likewise, a central heating provides people an easy access to enjoying a warm winter without burning coals. For the great convenience and powerful functions, air-conditioners are widely accepted by a majority of people and make signCificant contributionstoimprovingpeople's living standard,thoughthey will beproduced moremultifunctionalwith the development of technology in the future.
Also, carshavesucceeded in making surprising improvements in people's lives. As we all know, cars, which include taxis, trucks, buses and so on, haveadaptedto(satisfied会不会好一些)all sorts of requirements in the modern society. We couldnever haveimagined that one day we can reach everywhere we want with the help of automobiles freely.（我理解你的汉语意思是“之前的野人们，根本就没敢想过，他们居然可以做汽车到处跑”你的虚拟语气使用错了，可以肯定。
我建议一种表达However ，our ancestors would never imagined that  they should （shoud可以表示惊讶的语气）be able to reach everywhere with a tool called “car "）For example， In Han Dynastywhen there werenocars,people made use of horses as a kind of transportationand had to tolerate theinconvenience.At that time, it usuallytookpeopleas long asa few days（我建议你用as long as 就是希望你可以把时间看起来非常漫长，来支撑你的论述！所以用a few就与long 矛盾了，建议用several）toreport the situation of the war to the emperor,thus,soldiershad to wait for the permission from the general to attack enemies. The delays often led to missing the best opportunityof fighting againstthe enemies. However, cars have shortened the time spending in the long-distance places and accelerated people's connections.

Furthermore, the more frequent and swifter communication among people benefited from cell phones is another improvement taken place.(纠结是因为，第一个形容词是the more 表示形容词比较极and后连接的adj又是er表示，很容易让人误会，而且我感觉到你这句是一个show off 句型，但是让人感觉，或者 至少，我读了三遍没有读懂。ETS 不喜欢puzzled的句子吧。。。或者是我的理解问题。。。)Unlike  （GMAT语法认为like 或者unlike必须连接与主句对等成分的东西，我理解你的意思是表达，eg. Unlike Jim,Rose is a idiot!）making use of doves to deliver messages or making fires as signals, cell phones changed people's lives in an unbelievable way. In just a few seconds, a friend from the opposite site of the world is able to accept our texting message sent by our cell phones. How fantastic the cell phones are!Just as the advertisement of Iphone 4Ssays, mobile phones actually "changed the world for a second time".

Admittedly, we haveabundantconfidence in the prospective development of science and technology.(这个地方有异议所以没有改)However, the most significantimprovementsindeed have taken place in changing people's living conditions, transportations and communications.