晨依小超人的写作贴，欢迎拍砖！

CCcarol

晨依大宝贝！！！！！！！

angelgabriel

Nowadays, advanced technology enables us to choose either text message or voice message at our own will. These two forms of


communications, however, provide different attitude and shall be used wisely before we are delivering a message. In my opinion, in case


of discussing negative messages like upsetting or controversial ones, I would prefer to choose the text method.


The most obvious advantage of text over voice message is that text hide the disappointing or upsetting sound from the other one. Although


both methods may deliver similar messages, the use of text messaging would make it possible to arrange the message in a more indirect


way. This shows how you truly understand and care for the other person. For example, consider I was the one to receive the upsetting


message, I would prefer to read it rather than hear the blaming or angry voices from the other one since this voice would further upset me.


In addition, voice message method such as telephone usually requires the receiver to be present when delivering the message. However,


text message could leave this information as a kind of note so that the receiver can see it any time at any place. Ringing the other one


instantly often happens when the person wants to finish the problem as soon as possible and has no patience to wait for response. By


contrast, text message leaves adequate time for the person to think and rethink before making a decision. The person who sends the


message in this way can show his respect for the other one's choice and he does not expect the receiver to make a rush decision.


In conclusion, sending a text message about upsetting issues will not only buffer the negative effect if presented indirectly, it will also


show your attitude that you respect their choices and would want them to make the best decision on their own.

jeariel

多谢楼主传授宝贵经验

晨依Jacqueline

11月26日独立
【好久不写作文了，真的是手生了，词汇也超级匮乏的，差点就超时了……期待互改同学狂踩！】
题目：The friends that you can have fun with is more important than the friends that you can get help from.

————————

It is always said that a friend in need is a friend indeed. There's no denying that a friend who can help us is important, however, as for me, the friends that I can have fun with play more crucial roles in my life. They perform sound influence on my work, in my life, and also help me with my health.



To start with, a friend who could share laughters with me is beneficial for me in my work. As he/she always makes me happy and get rid of my tiredness or stress, I could quickly recover from a messed-up brain after a long time work and then continue my work efficiently. For instance, once I had to work till extreme late at night, my best friend Mike told me some jokes in order to help me get relieved from those dull documents. I was so deeply affected by his jokes and couldn't help laughing for a long time. Surprisingly, I finished my left work in a very clear mind and high spirits. Although he could help me little with my work I was dealing with, he did accelerate my working process.



Subsequently, in my life, a friend who could have fun with me helps me form good characters. To be honest, I used to be a very shy person and was reluctant to communicate with others. It was also Mike who used his standard smile and optimism to influence me in an invisiable(invisible) way. He helped build my confidence and make me become willing to share my happiness to others. Because of Mike, I have made acquintaince(acquaintance) with a number of good friend. No wonder that a funny friend is my best treasure in my life.



Last but not least, laughters are the best medicine for keeping good health. As we all know, laughters are able to stimulate the function of a person's immune system and then defend a variety of diseases. However, a friend who could help people in trouble is helpless with serious ailments. Sharing my joy in life with friends makes so enormous contributionto a healthy life that the times I catch a cold has a sharply decline.



In sum, after analyzing all the three reasons I listed above, we could safely reach to the conclusion that a friend who is willing to share laughters with us is more significant in our life. Not only does he/she is an angle spreading happiness, but he/she also helps you keep healthy.

lizchang1990

帮你来顶了~哈哈,很有层次感!

晨依Jacqueline

帮你来顶了~哈哈,很有层次感!

-- by 会员 lizchang1990 (2012/11/26 23:58:08)

Thx Liz~~
我在整理作文机经，等着发你一份，加油哈！

zhisheng2200

前来拜读。。。好高的楼啊。。。

我把托福踩脚下

不好意思哦， 今天工作回来晚了。
真高兴能和你分在同一组互改作文。

It is always said that a friend in need is a friend indeed.名言作引子，赞There's no denying that a friend who can help us is important, however, as for me, the friends that I can have fun with play more crucial roles in my life. They perform sound（？） influence on my work, in my life, and also help me with my health.



To start with, a friend who could share laughters with me is beneficial for me in my work. As he/she always makes me happy and get rid of my tiredness or stress, I could quickly recover from a messed-up brain after a long time work and then continue my work efficiently. For instance, once I had to work till extreme late（adj, not noun） at night, my best friend Mike told me some jokes in order to help me get relieved from those dull documents. I was so deeply affected by his jokes and couldn't help laughing for a long time. Surprisingly, I finished my left work in(with，in mind 在心里) a very clear mind and high spirits. Although he could help me little with my work I was dealing with, he did accelerate my working process.



Subsequently, in my life, a friend who could have fun with me helps me form good characters. To be honest, I used to be a very shy person and was reluctant to communicate with others. It was also Mike who used his standard smile and optimism to influence me in an invisiable(invisible) way. He helped build my confidence and make me become willing to share my happiness to others. Because of Mike, I have made acquintaince(acquaintance) with a number of good friend(s). No wonder that a funny friend is my(the) best treasure in my life.



Last but not least, laughters are the best medicine for keeping good health. As we all know, laughters are able to stimulate the function of a person's immune system and then defend a variety of diseases. However, a friend who could help people in trouble is helpless with serious ailments. Sharing my joy in life with friends makes so enormous contribution to a healthy life that the times I catch a cold has a sharply decline.(第一句和前面两句不搭边，第二句非常奇怪的结构)



In sum, after analyzing all the three reasons I listed above, we could safely reach（及物动词删掉to）to the conclusion that a friend who is willing to share laughters with us is more significant in our life. Not only does he/she is an angle spreading happiness, but he/she also helps you keep healthy.
总结： 有趣的朋友和能帮忙的朋友的对比说明不多，只说了有趣的朋友好，但没说比能帮忙的朋友更好在哪里
没什么大的语法错误， 比我强多了。

晨依Jacqueline

谢谢我把托福踩在脚下的修改！
很中肯的建议，感觉我的论证方面还不够完善，只写提纲不行咯。还要再练习呢！

二妹拿命搞

dddd