晨依小超人的写作贴，欢迎拍砖！

gre呀gre

TPO9 综合改错As the passage casts three major problemsof using the internal-combustion engine, calling for a replacement enginesource-the fuel-cell engine. （不太确定As是不是能这么用，如果当连词的话，后面还缺少主句，如果是当副词和介词用的话，意思好像又不太对？） Though the professor admits theexistence of those problems, she asserts that hydrogen-based fuel-cell engine isnot the very solution.


Firstly, the listening material holds aconflicting idea with the reading, by pointing out that water, which ismentioned in the passage as a resource（easy to get）, is not as useful as it might sound. This is because producing thenew chemical energy needs a pure liquid environment, andthis（改成which感觉更简洁） makes it difficult to produce and store. Plus, a cold condition,such as a temperature below 200 and more celces(Celsius，原文是minus 253degrees) is also （an） essential for making the alternative source of energy. Thus, thiskind of new energy is not substanable(sustainable)in practice. In this way, the initial problem is refuted.

In the second place, while the writerclaims the hydrogen-based energy is helpful to solve air pollution, the speaker（改成professor好一些，前后一致） mentions another point to reject that idea. According to theprofessor, to produce the hydrogen-based fuel-cell engine will definitely leadto large amount of energy emitted by burning coal. So she makes an assume thateven if the engine is less polluted to the environment, those factories whichproduce hydrogen-based fuel-cell engine will have a detrimental influence toour society. Thus, this hydrogen-based fuel-cell engine is not convinced to beenvironmental-friendly.

Ultimately, the last viewpoint made by thelecturer is that using the hydrogen-based energy is not cost-saving as theauthor says. Opposite to the standpoint in the reading material, building suchkind of engine requires some rare expensive metals, and furthermore causes theclimate（chemical） reaction. Therefore, in her opinion, the fancy of producing afuel-cell engine is unsuccessful.（少了一个点，All the efforts to replace platinum with a cheapermaterial have so far been unsuccessful.）

写的挺好的，而且听的很全，就是字数超了一些，285个，要精简一下，要不然容易写不完也有可能会因此而得分低

晨依Jacqueline

原来打字也是学问！！！啊，肿么又多了个要学习滴！！！

没关系，努力掌握之~ 技不压身嘛，打得快了以后工作也效率高。

-- by 会员 Crystaljoy (2012/4/16 15:28:11)

对呀 尤其是聊天的时候比较爽歪歪~嘻嘻！

晨依Jacqueline

TPO12
The authentic of a portrait of Jane Austen is on a heated debate. Three evidences are raised to support the idea of the reality of Jane Austen as the subject, while in the lecture, none of the three reasons are considered convincing.

First, the professor refutes the point mentioned in the passage that the 1882 publication best proved Jane Austen was the subject of the portrait. Though someone in the Jane Austen's family did endorse the claim, the professor points out a fact that the letter was published 70 years after Jane Austen died, indicating that the family member did not actually see Jane Austen herself. So no certainty can we stress on the reality of Jane Austen's portrait.

Secondly, the lecturer also holds a different opinion when the writer mentions the face drawn in the portrait was similar to C's sketch, asserting the subject is a relative of Jane Austen. According to the lecturer, the painting resembles a relative in a relavant period. What's more, experts confirmed the subject in the painting was Jane Austen's distant niece.

To further support the claim, another evidence is cast in the passage demonstrating the date of the portrait was true when Jane Austen was a teenager. However, the speaker argues that the painting was not sold in London, and the compass in the painting may date older than the portrait. In that case the lecturer contradicts the passage in the end.

To 刺猬：今天晨依听的也很差劲、中间又被interupt了，再看自己的note已然不知道是记得什么了。

晨依Jacqueline

TO GRE~thx for your revise~

Herisson0509

Several negative effects are raised in the passage to prove the severeness of the lacking reading of literature , on the opposite, the lecturer suggests a decrease of reading literature does not equal our culture has been ignored.

First of all, the author holds the idea that literature is of tremendous significance to public, taking stimulating creativity as an example. However, the speaker believes that varieties of other forms of culture such as science, history and political analysis are of high quality as well. So by no means could we consider the sharply decrease of literature reading as detrimental to our whole culture.

In the second place, while the point that people currently are spending less time on reading literature is made in the passage, the professor thinks that reason is not sufficient to support the culture decrease theory. As music and movies are considered as other forms of literature, no one could deny that listening to a brilliant song is a waste of time. Culture changes all the time, meaningly, enjoying a piece of music does not lower standard of culture in general.

Ultimately, it is not convincing to say that the trend of less reading of literature is mainly because of the readers' poor standards, according to the lecturer. What is concluded in the speech is that the literature work is difficult for readers to understand than previous time. Contrary to the passage, the lecturer argues less preference will readers at present time attach to modern literature.


我挑不出来毛病  晨依好棒啊   加油加油 MY MY~~~

晨依Jacqueline

TPO13
Selling and purchasing fossils are criticized by the author for it has great damage to many aspects. However, the speaker claims that the consequence vital fossils sold to public instead of preserved in the museum is exaggerated. Three viewpoints are stated by the speaker to prove that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages.

In the first place, it increases the exposure of fossils to public by selling fossils to public, asserted by the professor. Opposite to the idea made in the passage that public are not accessible to see treasure fossils displayed in museums, the professor stresses, fossils will be collected by schools and libraries when people hunting for purchasing those fossils, which in the end made the fossils more frequently exposed to the public than expected to be.

Secondly, while the writer believes that less scientific research and significant discoveries will be missed out by experts, the lecturer again refutes that standpoint. She holds the opinion that trading fossils among individual collectors would not cause scientists lose their access to identify the value of fossils. When fossils are collected by private collectors, according to the lecturer, they probably ask the experts for help on examining and testing those fossils, in turn fossils are passed through the scientists hands. Therefore, assumes in the reading are contradicted.

Finally, the listening material cast doubt on the damage individual collectors will make to scientific research. In the lecture, we learn that universities and scientific institutions are interested in discovering the fossils and analyzing data. Unlike what the writer says, the professor asserts the certainty that more complete undiscovered fossils will be displayed to the public after observing and examining on them.

晨依Jacqueline

TPO14
In the reading material, salvage logging are considered favorable for both the forest and development of economy. However, in the listening material, the regards the point questionable for the salvage logging will lead to a serious long-term damage. Three factors are stated by the professor.

In the first place, the speaker refutes the idea mentioned in the passage that moving out trees will make more space for other plants and vegetations. The speaker claims the salvage logging is not necessary for the tree growth, by pointing out that future generations of trees are left with soil which contains less nutrition for other plant species growing well. For this reason, the salvage logging policy is not convincing as expected in the passage.

Secondly, the writer mentions that salvage logging makes it possible for destructing the insects, which cause great damage to the forest. In contrast, the professor thinks though salvage logging is likely to increase the population of trees, the damage birds and insects made to trees is though skeptical. In fact, as the professor states, birds and birds in turn make significant contributions to forest. Contradict to the writer's assumption, less harmfulness is proved to cause by insects.

Finally, the lecturer holds a conflicting attitude towards the eco-beneficial theory in the reading again. According to the lecturer, the economic influence the salvage logging brings is small and won't last for a long period of time because those trees require helicopters to maintain. Plus, the jobs salvage logging provided are temporary ones for they call for more experiencing and training employees.

婷婷connie

TPO13改文
Selling and purchasing fossils are criticized by the author for it has (its) (for后面接名词比较顺)great damage to many aspects. However, the speaker claims that the consequence vital fossils sold to public instead of preserved in the museum is exaggerated. Three viewpoints are stated by the speaker to prove that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages（这句话很经典啊）.

In the first place, it increases the exposure of fossils to public by selling fossils to public, asserted by the professor. Opposite to the idea made in the passage that public are not accessible to see treasure fossils displayed in museums, the professor stresses, fossils will be collected（用purchased好一些） by schools and libraries when people hunting for purchasing those fossils, which in the end made the fossils more frequently exposed to the public than expected to be.

Secondly, while the writer believes that less scientific research and significant discoveries will be missed out by experts, the lecturer again refutes that standpoint. She holds the opinion that trading fossils among individual collectors would not cause scientists lose their access to identify the value of fossils. When fossils are collected by private collectors, according to the lecturer, they probably ask the experts for help on examining and testing those fossils, in turn fossils are passed through the scientists hands. Therefore, assumes （hypotheses也行）in the reading are contradicted.

Finally, the listening material cast doubt on the damage individual collectors will make to scientific research. In the lecture, we learn that universities and scientific institutions（貌似没有提到） are interested in discovering the fossils and analyzing data. Unlike what the writer says, the professor asserts the certainty that more complete undiscovered fossils will be displayed to the public after observing and examining on them. (作者认为损坏少部分比让这些fossil埋在地下强，commercial collectors 有更大的动力和财力去挖掘化石)

Conclusion：晨依的作文很有条理性，衔接很好，但最后一个分论点的细节听得不够清楚，加油！

晨依Jacqueline

谢谢婷婷强大的替换词s~~
听力还是硬伤啊、呜呜……

探险者

不好意思啊，开始看的时候这里只有十三，结果把十三给改了，现在把我个人关于楼主这两篇的修改意见都发过来，请指教
黄色部分为用的好的地方，红色是我个人的修改建议
Selling and purchasing fossils are criticized by the author for it has（its, for的后面是不是要跟一个名词而不是完整的句子）great damage to many aspects. However, the speaker claims that the consequence that( 觉得这里应当改为一个修饰consequence的同位语从句，这样意思更清楚）vital fossils are sold to public instead of preserved in the museum is exaggerated. Three viewpoints are stated by the speaker to prove that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages.

In the first place, it increases the exposure of fossils to public by selling fossils to public, asserted by the professor. Opposite to the idea made in the passage that public are not accessible to see treasure fossils displayed in museums, the professor stresses,（这个逗号应该没有必要，删去）fossils will be collected by schools and libraries when people hunting for purchasing those fossils, which in the end made the fossils more frequently exposed to the public than expected to be.

Secondly, while the writer believes that less scientific research and significant discoveries will be missed out by experts, the lecturer again refutes that standpoint. She holds the opinion that trading fossils among individual collectors would not cause scientists lose their access to identify the value of fossils. When fossils are collected by private collectors, according to the lecturer, they probably ask the experts for help on examining and testing those fossils, in turn fossils are passed through the scientists hands（这里在听力中有一个firstly，如果写上会更好）. Therefore, assumes in the reading are contradicted.

Finally, the listening material cast doubt on the damage individual collectors will make to scientific research. In the lecture, we learn that universities and scientific institutions are interested（这里不是有兴趣，而是这么做会better） in discovering the fossils and analyzing the（冠词）data. Unlike what the writer says, the professor asserts the certainty（貌似原文没有体现这一点，只是说发现比不发现要好）that more complete undiscovered fossils will be displayed to the public after observing and examining on them.

个人觉得晨依的用词很不错，综合写的很有条理。

这篇文章的内容，也就是听力部分那个教授的发音感觉有些别扭，尤其是在最后一点，有些地方我也没有听清楚，改作文的时候已经听了好多遍了，觉得综合写作听力是王道，只有把听力内容尽可能详细的展现在文章中，才会更好。

与君共勉

TPO14
In the reading material, salvage logging are considered favorable for both the forest and development of economy. However, in the listening material, the（？？） regards the point questionable for the salvage logging will lead to a serious long-term damage. Three factors are stated by the professor.

In the first place, the speaker refutes the idea mentioned in the passage that moving out trees will make more space for other plants and vegetations. The speaker claims the salvage logging is not necessary for the tree growth, by pointing out that future generations of trees are left with soil which contains less nutrition for other（为什么是other，感觉这一句在nutrition后是for the growth of plant species） plant species growing well. For this reason, the salvage logging policy is not convincing as expected in the passage.

Secondly, the writer mentions that salvage logging makes it possible for destructing the insects, which cause great damage to the forest. In contrast, the professor thinks though salvage logging is likely to increase the population of trees, the damage birds and insects made to trees（birds应当没有带来危害） is though skeptical. In fact, as the professor states, birds and birds(??应该是insects) in turn make significant contributions to forest. Contradict to the writer's assumption, less harmfulness is proved to cause by insects.

Finally, the lecturer holds a conflicting attitude towards the eco-beneficial（这个词中的eco会不会有歧义，理解成ecosystem） theory in the reading again. According to the lecturer, the economic influence the salvage logging brings is small and won't last for a long period of time because those trees require helicopters to maintain. Plus, the jobs salvage logging provided are temporary ones for（since） they call for more experiencing and training employees.

晨依的综合写的挺好的，而且你的细节的把握和听力也应该很不错了，虽然综合写作听力的部分听的越多越好哦。。。