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Automobiles and airplanes are regarded as two typical of greatest inventions during the second industry(industrial) revolution, which have brought significant impacts on peoples' daily life. As far as I am concerned, cars actually overweigh airplanes when talking about the influences they have made to our society.
MLH:
1. 建议which跟在被修饰的词后面,更加清楚. Automobiles and airplanes, which are regarded as the greatest inventions during the second industrial revolution, have brought out significant impacts on peoples’ life.
2. 建议先说大多数人的观点,然后更加突出自己的观点. 可以加在As far as I am concerned…之前
3. 当谈论起对社会的贡献时,汽车的作用一定是超过飞机的. The advantages of cars absolutely overweigh the airplanes when talking about the contribution to our society. 这句话我总觉得不太平衡,所以楼主自己考虑一下…
First and foremost, automobiles win a more popular use (感觉稍微有点怪) as (since) they are smaller in size and cheaper (in price) than all airplanes. Larger size airplanes are manufactured than cars, never (neither… nor and Never… nor) can they park in small places or (nor) at anywhere we want. Accordingly, parking lots are available here and there in our communities while airports are limited in numbers in a city (while numbers of airports are limitation). What is more, with the rapid development of public transportation, such as the subways and BRTs, cars or buses have almost covered all roads and avenues in cities and rural areas. even (and only) cost people one or two yuan (in China) (We can enjoy the convenience from these ways of transportation by only spending one or two yuan in China). Plus, shopping malls like Walmart provide parking lots for (customer who own private cars), which is far more convenient for us driving to do some shopping there. So many factors accounted, automobiles obtain a wide popularity among people.
MLH: Plus, shopping malls like Walmart always have their special services that provide parking lots for customers who own private cars, which is very thoughtful for us driving cars to do shopping at there.
In the second place, cars have a priority in time-saving than airplanes. As airports are usually far (away) from the center of the city and (delete and), they are not allowed to have an emergency pause in the halfway during the flight. For instance, getting to the only one airport covers a long distance because it is located in the suburb of my city, which costs us a great deal of money and time. Additionaly (Additionally), people are usually required to arrive at the airport in advance in order to check in and board, occupying one hour or more at average. In contrast, people can drive cars at their convenient (at their convenience) and decide what time to start their tour or have a stop at somewhere to satisfy personal needs.
Last but not least, though cars have their limits which really confused people most(a lot), for example, the increasing number of private cars has led to the lack of parking lots. (这个是你首段论述的正面例子,不太好拿出来作反面教材,); (上句话没有说完,这里应该是并列吧?) though people nowadays complaining much more (no more would be better)about the outnumber of cars and air pollution caused by automobiles than they did in the past, no one would deny that cars have indeed become a(an) essential part of people's life(in our society). As cars make massive contributions to our society, a majority of people still consider driving cars as their best choice of going to other places. (I think the last sentence is more or less additional sentence can be deleted)
In one word, since cars are of greater convenience than airplanes, obviously they have more powerful influences to society and bring tremendous impact(s) to people's daily life.(our life)
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