携隐小教室 之 Q&A Banking篇

orchidq

Haha, while I am procrastinating on actual work, here are a few more "banker speaks" and their true meanings for your amusement.  There's a good list somewhere that I can't find right now.

- "Don't spend the entire night on this" - this will take you the entire night
-"This is pretty straight forward" - this will take you the entire night
- "This is a good learning experience for you" - this is the most pointless, esoteric BS, but I can't find anyone else to do it
- "This will take you at most two hours" - depending on the person, multiply a number from 5 - 10+
- "This is great, but can you just make this small change?" - You did what I requested, but since I just changed my mind again (for the third time), can you re-do this again
- "Do you have capacity?" - I am about to staff you
- "We have this very EXCITING deal coming up!" - I am about to staff you
- "You did such a great job on xxx(insert random deal) last time!" - I am about to staff you, on the same type of stuff that you've done 50 times

-- by 会员 REgirl07 (2010/5/18 12:43:02)

哈哈哈，非常有意思~~~~啥时美女有空把之前说的list贴上来让大家娱乐娱乐吧~~嘿嘿

开山怪

Haha, while I am procrastinating on actual work, here are a few more "banker speaks" and their true meanings for your amusement.  There's a good list somewhere that I can't find right now.

- "Don't spend the entire night on this" - this will take you the entire night
-"This is pretty straight forward" - this will take you the entire night
- "This is a good learning experience for you" - this is the most pointless, esoteric BS, but I can't find anyone else to do it
- "This will take you at most two hours" - depending on the person, multiply a number from 5 - 10+
- "This is great, but can you just make this small change?" - You did what I requested, but since I just changed my mind again (for the third time), can you re-do this again
- "Do you have capacity?" - I am about to staff you
- "We have this very EXCITING deal coming up!" - I am about to staff you
- "You did such a great job on xxx(insert random deal) last time!" - I am about to staff you, on the same type of stuff that you've done 50 times

-- by 会员 REgirl07 (2010/5/18 12:43:02)

Haha these people are indeed artful in framing their requests…not getting credit for all the deep shit you wade through is demoralizing..
But then, why are NYC IB jobs still so coveted? Correct me if I'm wrong but NY means
1. higher tax(less take-home pay) (not too sure about this)
2. equally bad lifestyle (if not worse for the psychological trauma inflicted by the politically correct MDs)
3. glass ceiling (at least perceived) for career advancement for Asians.
4. Better looking resume--having worked in the most mature capital market in the world
Whereas HK provides:
1. lower tax rate
2. housing allowance
3. cultural/homecourt advantage--good for career advancement
4. wider social network--it's easier to connect to and network with fellow asians.
5. more career opportunities as EMEA is the growth area now (not too sure about this one)

To me NY doesn't really look a lot more attractive compared to HK…am I missing sth here?

REgirl07

NYC is the global headquarter for most of the major financial institutions.  You feel like you are "in the middle of all the actions" when you work in NYC.  Instead of seeing your firm's CEO on TV, he probably walks through the floor every now and then.  There's also a certain mystique and prestige associated with living in NY.  (And it's one of the most exciting, dynamic cities in the world).  Lastly, it's in the U.S., and some people just rather live here than anywhere in Asia.  

I do think NYC's relative attractiveness compared to HK is decreasing, especially after the recent recession.  Most Mandarin speaking finance professionals I know (whether they are Chinese, ABC, or even Caucasians) want to transfer to Asia, at least for a period of time.  Also, as recent as a few years ago, people were encouraged to get some experience in NY first, regardless of their long term geographical preference.  Now days if you want to work in Asia, they (as in senior management) encourage you to go asap - definitely a reflection of the localization of the business there.  

michaelchenma

wait, wait. So let me get this straight. When ex says "no, it is not you, it is me.", what she really means is "it is all you! It is always you! It is all your fault!" amiright?

Haha, while I am procrastinating on actual work, here are a few more "banker speaks" and their true meanings for your amusement.  There's a good list somewhere that I can't find right now.

- "Don't spend the entire night on this" - this will take you the entire night
-"This is pretty straight forward" - this will take you the entire night
- "This is a good learning experience for you" - this is the most pointless, esoteric BS, but I can't find anyone else to do it
- "This will take you at most two hours" - depending on the person, multiply a number from 5 - 10+
- "This is great, but can you just make this small change?" - You did what I requested, but since I just changed my mind again (for the third time), can you re-do this again
- "Do you have capacity?" - I am about to staff you
- "We have this very EXCITING deal coming up!" - I am about to staff you
- "You did such a great job on xxx(insert random deal) last time!" - I am about to staff you, on the same type of stuff that you've done 50 times

-- by 会员 REgirl07 (2010/5/18 12:43:02)

REgirl07

Haha!  Of course it's always you.  And when they say "I just don't want to be in a relationship right now", they really mean "I just don't want to be in a relationship WITH YOU right now".  

携隐

谢谢携隐的回复!!

那想再请问携隐几个问题:

(1)所谓投行沾边的工作像是什么? Company valuation?

(2)您说”你的stories，你的表现，你的工作职位经验responsibilities才是最重要的”,是不是指pre-MBA工作上的经验, 举两个写在CV上的例子:

- led XX person team (职位: 衡量leadership ability) to design XXXX forecasting models for xxxx billion business (表现: 衡量你的表现跟实际贡献)

- Perform project management role for xxxx project and manage to deliver the end reports within the timeline and successfully assist the xxx (你的表现/工作职位经验: ability to manage a project)

1. 和投行沾边的就是临近行业（比如asset management之类），和任何和投行打交道的工作（law firm, accounting firms, 公司里的M&A部门或team等等）
2. 指的就是你的resume stories。至于什么样的stories才有吸引力，你说的这两个例子都很泛泛。我回复过一个面经，里面曾经提到中国同学喜欢说自己lead了啥manage了啥，其实都太general不容易给人留下印象，要和你daily job相关，详细的写出自己的真正工作经历，才能给人留下印象。帖子链接如下供参考（96楼）：
http://forum.chasedream.com/North_American_MBA/thread-421423-10-1.html

携隐

Haha these people are indeed artful in framing their requests…not getting credit for all the deep shit you wade through is demoralizing..
But then, why are NYC IB jobs still so coveted? Correct me if I'm wrong but NY means
1. higher tax(less take-home pay) (not too sure about this)
2. equally bad lifestyle (if not worse for the psychological trauma inflicted by the politically correct MDs)
3. glass ceiling (at least perceived) for career advancement for Asians.
4. Better looking resume--having worked in the most mature capital market in the world
Whereas HK provides:
1. lower tax rate
2. housing allowance
3. cultural/homecourt advantage--good for career advancement
4. wider social network--it's easier to connect to and network with fellow asians.
5. more career opportunities as EMEA is the growth area now (not too sure about this one)

To me NY doesn't really look a lot more attractive compared to HK…am I missing sth here?

-- by 会员 开山怪 (2010/5/18 18:05:34)

你忽略了几点：
1. 你几乎随时可以决定从纽约transfer到香港，但这个过程基本上不可逆
2. 纽约的deal experience和香港的还是非常非常不一样的。在纽约你有机会见到甚至参与设计各种各样的deal structure，有机会看到MD怎么manage整个过程怎么创造最大利益，有机会学习到最新的产品和capital raising的方式，有机会见识到市场是怎么影响一个deal，怎么去manage public info，怎么去控制市场反应。。。这些经验对于长期职业发展还是有利的，尤其当你并没有深厚家庭背景，又不是特别擅长relationship business的时候。亚洲市场在发展，除了relationship之外，将来还是需要真正有经验有能力的人。香港目前IPO居多，M&A很少，中国金融市场离成熟也还很远。所以纽约和香港有时候是客户关系和deal experience的取舍。
3. 纽约的客户经验和香港也很不一样。美国是最发达的金融和商业国家，在这里大公司固然多，小公司的运作也相对非常成熟。长期和CEO以及管理团队们打交道，对于个人成熟度的培养，和在香港对于relationship成熟度的培养是两种风格
4. 对于没有国际经验的人来说，积累一些国际工作经验对于将来也是有利的（包括语言，culture，business style and manners，等等）
5. 这点可能是我偏见，但是我觉得在纽约遇到非常厉害的人的几率比在香港高，遇多了，交谈多了，对自己还是很有帮助和启发的
6. 纽约是个非常amazing的城市，不在纽约生活过会是很大的遗憾

总的来说，你完全可以占尽纽约的好处，到坏处出现的时候回香港。当然不同的人适用不同的strategy，而且不同人生阶段追求的东西和focus的重点也不一样，纽约香港各有好处。大多数人最终还是想回香港的，包括我。毕竟是home country啊。

Happy2007

Haha!  Of course it's always you.  And when they say "I just don't want to be in a relationship right now", they really mean "I just don't want to be in a relationship WITH YOU right now".  

-- by 会员 REgirl07 (2010/5/19 4:09:27)

when they say " you deserve a better one", they really mean "you are out of my league"...

orchidq

wait, wait. So let me get this straight. When ex says "no, it is not you, it is me.", what she really means is "it is all you! It is always you! It is all your fault!" amiright?

Haha, while I am procrastinating on actual work, here are a few more "banker speaks" and their true meanings for your amusement.  There's a good list somewhere that I can't find right now.

- "Don't spend the entire night on this" - this will take you the entire night
-"This is pretty straight forward" - this will take you the entire night
- "This is a good learning experience for you" - this is the most pointless, esoteric BS, but I can't find anyone else to do it
- "This will take you at most two hours" - depending on the person, multiply a number from 5 - 10+
- "This is great, but can you just make this small change?" - You did what I requested, but since I just changed my mind again (for the third time), can you re-do this again
- "Do you have capacity?" - I am about to staff you
- "We have this very EXCITING deal coming up!" - I am about to staff you
- "You did such a great job on xxx(insert random deal) last time!" - I am about to staff you, on the same type of stuff that you've done 50 times

-- by 会员 REgirl07 (2010/5/18 12:43:02)

-- by 会员 michaelchenma (2010/5/19 2:11:53)

可以参考“he is just not that into you”这部电影，里面穿插了很多这类bulls**t小结，很有意思~~~~

小船亚亚

想请教下XY，大部分BB firm必去的target school是哪几个啊？记得你说过无论经济好坏，Wharton，Columbia总是要去的。那Stern，Booth呢？还有其他的像Tuck，Sloan呢