新人报道，求指导！！！

咩咩糖公主

继续手痒。。viviyl 对不起，无意冒犯啊，就是想来一起讨论学习一下我偶像的作文。。。说得不对的地方请指正！
3.25独立In present society, along with the dramatically economic development, people will be confronted with a wide variety of opportunities. Meanwhile, the issue whether people are supposed to act immediately once coming into opportunities has caused wide discussion. Some people support this argument because, in their perspective, the opportunities always slip away quickly. However, they fail to take into account the adverse effects of reckless behaviors and the merits of patience. Therefore, I believe that people should be patient and keep a clear mind even facing the precious opportunities.
First and foremost, although the opportunities may slip away fast, not all the opportunities are beneficial and suitable to everyone. Being patient equips people with the ability to make a deliberate（朗文对这个词的解释有esp. of sth bad，个人觉得不是太准确) evaluation. Only after a deliberate evaluation which plays vital roles in people's future are we able to decide whether to undertake this project（搭配准确） sensibly.  In the（去掉） contrast, action without consideration will beget undue loss(beget是古英语么。。偶像 牛啊）. For instance, when a person comes into valuable chances, he should make a judgment whether his ability can grapple with(这个主语应该是sb而不是ability吧） this assignment. If he just acts without evaluation, his ability may be finite and cannot handle the problem, which means his effort is(would be) just in vain.Further, there is no denying that patience exerts significant impacts on the(去掉） efficiency. After careful planning, people are capable of acquiring thorough overview about the task that they will go about. A recent survey conducted by Boston University(熟悉的Boston survey 又见面了 哈哈） indicates that the more thoughtful a plan is, the more efficient the person is. The reason for this phenomenon is that people have already detected the potential difficulties and found out the solution towards these troubles. After well-rounded preparation, when facing the problems, people will be more confident and solve the problems more smoothly
.Last but not least, it is widely acknowledged that patient people are inclined to make few(fewer) mistakes. People acting immediately when they see the opportunities tend to be careless which always results in low productivity and a number of errors. Even with the precious chance, without patience, people cannot fully utilize the opportunities. Worse ever, the failure due to rash behaviors also dampens people's enthusiasm towards the work, which discourages people to take(应当是discourage sb. from doing sth.) risk next time.
All in all, admittedly, acting at once has its own advantages such as catch the fleeting chances. However, the disadvantages far outweigh its advantages. Thus, there is no doubt that patient (patience) is a good strategy,(quality是不是更恰当) which ensures you distinguished behavior(这个表达用在这里感觉似乎有点怪。。）.

lihaolan

3.26独立

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Students can get as many benefits from organization or club activities as they can get from their academic studies.

In present society, the education which is no longer constricted in class plays an increasingly significant role in people's life as well as in the progress of society. Therefore, the issue whether students can obtain great nutrient from organization and club activities has caused widely discussion. Some people believe that students are supposed to focus their attention to academic studies, which lays a solid foundation for their future while the extra-curricular activities afford people nothing other than making fun. However, they overstate the importance of the academic studies and neglect the merits of extra-curricular activities. Therefore, I agree that students should step out from the ivory tower and attend social activities and club activities as much as possible, which will benefit them a lot.

First and foremost, although the academic performance exerts some impacts on people's life, yet it is not uncommon that a number of university students nowadays are not occupied in their majors, which means the efforts contributes on academic studies may have less effects compared with what people previously think. A recent survey conducted by Yale University indicates that there is a growing tendency that students in present society are more likely to choose the jobs which is not related with their university majors. In my university, a number of students who major in science eventually are occupied in law. On the contrary, the knowledge we can obtain from the extra-curricular activities will have a profound influence on people's life.

On one hand, the extra-curricular activities provide people with precious opportunities to put the theory into the practice. For instance, assume a person majors in marketing while he has never dealt with the genuine problems. It is unlikely for him to be professional in this field. While the organization and club activities just offer him such chance to have a better and more thorough understanding of both the real situation and the theory being taught in class. Also, He can join the business club, which enables him to know how to make advertisement appealing to customers, how to using the funds efficiently and how to make researches about the target market. Only by putting the theory into practice will people truly comprehend how to utilize these theories.

On the other hand, there is no denying that taking part in the organization and club activities can improve the interpersonal skill, which gives us a competitive edge in the job market. By joining the organization, people can meet numerous people who have the same interests. During the activities, for the sake of the development of the club or achievement of the activities, people should learn to communicate and collaborate with other people. This process definitely promotes their capabilities in interaction with other people. As is known to us, the personal relationship or a broad network is an indispensable part of one's success. Actually, the organization and club activities equip you with the abilities and afford you precious opportunities to interact with different people who may offer you with great help in your future career.

All in all, admittedly, attending extra-curricular activities may be time-consuming to some extent. However, the nutrient and knowledge that people can acquire from extra-curricular activities is, indisputably, not less than what we can obtain from the academic studies.

写完时候没有这么多，后来加了一些==。

咩咩糖公主

In present society, the education which is no longer constricted in class plays an increasingly significant role in people's life(lives) as well as in the progress of society(似乎觉得这两个不是特别齐整的并列关系，改成对人们的生活品质提高和对社会的进步是不是好些？）. Therefore, the issue whether students can obtain great nutrient(我怎么没想到这个词，先前还看到了的。。牛人就是牛） from organization and club activities has caused widely(wide) discussion. Some people believe that students are supposed to focus their attention to(on) academic studies, which lays a(前面studies，这里用单数) solid foundation for their future while the extra-curricular activities afford people nothing other than making fun. However, they overstate the importance of the academic studies and neglect the merits of extra-curricular activities. Therefore, I agree that students should step out from the ivory tower and attend social activities and club activities as much as possible, which will benefit them a lot.
First and foremost, although the academic performance exerts some impacts on people's life, yet it is not uncommon that a number of university students nowadays are not occupiedin their majors (好像用法不太对?牛津里给出的解释是occupy vt. 担任某职位，居某地位 My sisiter ocuupies an important position in the Department of the Environment.) , which means the efforts contributes on(这个介词词组 额 小小白我觉得有点别扭） academic studies may have less effects compared with what people previously think. A recent survey conducted by Yale University(额 这个。。⊙﹏⊙b汗 偶像别把小白的玩笑往心里去啦~） indicates that there is a growing tendency that students in present society are more likely to choose the jobs which is（are） not related with （to）their university majors. (数据加实例，用得真灵活，为嘛我就是总不会用呐,魂淡啊。。)In my university, a number of students who major in science eventually are occupied in law. On the contrary, the knowledge we can obtain from the extra-curricular activities will have a profound influence on people's life.
On one hand, the extra-curricular activities provide people with precious opportunities to put the theory into the practice. For instance, assume a person majors in marketing while he has never dealt with the genuine problems. It is unlikely for him to be professional in this field. While(我突然想到whereas是不是可以替换一下) the organization and club activities just offer him such chance(chances) to have a better and more thorough understanding of both the real situation and the theory being taught in class. Also, He can join the business club, which enables him to know(我觉得从逻辑上来说business club后面应该是where)  how to make advertisement appealing to customers, how to using(use) the funds efficiently and how to make researches about(on) the target market. Only by putting the theory into practice will people truly comprehend how to utilize these theories.
On the other hand, there is no denying that taking part in the organization and club activities can improve the interpersonal skill, which gives us a competitive edge in the job market. By joining the organization, people can meet numerous people who have(share是不是更好) the same interests. During the activities, for the sake of the development of the club or achievement of the activities, people should learn to communicate and collaborate with other people. This process definitely promotes their capabilities in interaction with other people. As is known to us, the personal relationship or a broad network is an indispensable part of one's success. Actually, the organization and club activities equip you with the abilities and afford you precious opportunities to interact with different people who may offer you with great help in your future career.
All in all, admittedly, attending extra-curricular activities may be time-consuming to some extent. However, the nutrient and knowledge that people can acquire from extra-curricular activities is, indisputably, not less than what we can obtain from the academic studies.
我觉得这次的作文论点很清晰，逻辑很强，但是语言好像没有前几次写得那么好呢  加油加油 偶像我看好你哟 向榜样学习~~

yomina

3.25独立
In present society, along with the dramatically（dramatic） economic development, people will be confronted with a wide variety of opportunities. Meanwhile, the issue whether people are supposed to act immediately once coming into opportunities has caused wide discussion. Some people support this argument because, in their perspectives, the opportunities always slip away quickly. However, they fail to take into account the adverse effects of reckless behaviors and the merits of patience. Therefore, I believe that people should be patient and keep a clear mind even facing the precious opportunities.
First and foremost, although the opportunities may slip away fast, not all the opportunities are beneficial and suitable to everyone. Being patient equips people with the ability to make a deliberate evaluation. Only after a deliberate evaluation which plays vital roles in people's future are we able to decide whether to undertake（undertake project? participate in如何？） this project sensibly(为何是sensibly？). In the contrast, action without consideration will beget undue loss. For instance, when a person comes into valuable chances, he should make a judgment whether his ability can grapple with（挺高级的，但觉得不恰当。 就是handle的意思） this assignment. If he just acts without evaluation, his ability may be finite and cannot handle the problem, which means his effort is just in vain.总结点题一下，所以他就应该patient来寻找匹配他能力的工作。
Further, there is no denying that patience exerts significant impacts on the efficiency. After careful planning, people are capable of acquiring thorough overview about the task that they will go about. A recent survey conducted by Boston University indicates that the more thoughtful a plan is, the more efficient the person is. The reason for this phenomenon is that people have already detected the potential difficulties and found out the solution towards these troubles（这个说理很好）. After well-rounded preparation, when facing the problems, people will be more confident and solve the problems more smoothly.
Last but not least, it is widely acknowledged that patient people are inclined to make few mistakes. People acting immediately when they see the opportunities tend to be careless which always results in low productivity and a number of errors. Even with the precious chance, without patience, people cannot fully utilize the opportunities（前面已经说有好chance了后面说人还是不能好好利用这个chance，有点重复，鸡蛋里挑骨头哈，你后面的句子可以变个形式表达同样意思）. Worse ever, the failure due to rash behaviors also dampens people's enthusiasm towards the work, which discourages people to take risk next time.
All in all, admittedly, acting at once has its own advantages such as catch（catching） the fleeting chances. However, the disadvantages far outweigh its advantages. Thus, there is no doubt that patient is a good strategy, which ensures you distinguished behavior（什么distinguished behavior？）.

三日不见刮目相看~各种很高级的词。挺好的，基本没什么问题！比我深挖观点的好~向你学习

lihaolan

3.27独立
In present society, along with the increasingly fierce competition, the issue whether parents are supposed to make almost all the decision for children has caused wide discussion. The decisions range from which programs they can watch to which people they can make friends with. Some citizens firmly support this idea because of the excessive violent and pornographic contention which youngsters are exposed to. Also, they believe that teenagers lack the basic ability to distinguish the right from the wrong so that they need the help from parents. However, they overstate the adverse effects of the modern technology and underestimate the significance to foster children's capability to make decision on their own. Parents shouldn't interfere in their children's life too much.
First and foremost, although there are some violent and pornographic programs on the television, yet the government has spared no effort to eliminate this phenomenon. Thus, the environment teenagers live in is safer and cleaner than what people usually think. What's more, It is not uncommon that parents forbid their children watching cartoons, which have no negative impact on their formative age in my perspective. These behaviors don't benefit to teenagers. On the contrary, the overprotection may exert negative impact on youngsters' future. For instance, prohibiting children doing what they like stifles their creativity which is the main driving force behind the significant improvement of modern science. Even if the parents' conducts are out of well-intention, they just impede the well-rounded development of teenagers.
Further, teenagers nowadays acquire higher cognitive ability compared to those in the past. On one hand, new generation is capable of receiving higher quality schooling, which equips them with the abilities to comprehend what they can do and what are prohibited. In the primary school, teachers place considerable emphasis on the ability to make a distinction between the right and wrong. We are warned not to watch the violent and sexual programs, which have great side influence to our psychological soundness. On the other hand, admittedly, with the proliferation of the internet it brings about some kinds of temptation while the benefits from the internet far outweigh its drawback. Through the internet, youngsters can expand their outlook, which enables youngsters to be thoughtful when making choices. So youngsters are bound to be more competent to decide their future.
Last but not least, encouraging teenagers to make decisions enables them to improve a wide variety of abilities and mold their characters. For example, youngsters are more willing to assume their obligation in the future, because by leaning on themselves to make choice they can understand that they should be responsible for their behaviors, which are in accordance with their own mind instead of being compelled by their parents. A recent survey conducted by Peking University indicates that the more children make decisions for their life, the earlier they get mature, which gives them competitive edge in job market.
All in all, admittedly, parents have better capability of detect the right from the wrong. However, only if we give more freedom to youngsters are they able to be excellent in present society. Thus, when children are able to make a reasonable decision, parents should not compel children to do what they don't want to do.
哎没有办法按时完成，要提速好难。

咩咩糖公主

来围观你作文的人好像又变多啦~ 哈   h我是来盗版的，先学习，再仿写= =
3.27独立
In present society, along with the increasingly fierce competition, the issue whether parents are supposed to make almost all the decision for children has caused wide discussion. The decisions range from which programs they can watch to which people they can make friends with. Some citizens firmly support this idea because of the excessive violent and pornographic contention which youngsters are exposed to. Also, they believe that teenagers lack the basic ability to distinguish the right from the wrong so that they need the help from parents. However, they overstate the adverse effects of the modern technology and underestimate the significance to foster children's capability to make decision on their own.（这句话引出了下面的分论点，承上启下，很好） Parents shouldn't interfere in their children's life too much.
First and foremost, although there are some violent and pornographic programs on the television, yet the government has spared no effort to eliminate this phenomenon. Thus, the environment teenagers live in is safer and cleaner than what people usually think（suspect可以吗？）. What's more, It is not uncommon that parents forbid their children watching cartoons, which have no negative impact on (at) their formative age in my perspective. These behaviors don't benefit to(去掉to benefit做vi表示sb从sth中受益，做vt表示使sb受益) teenagers. On the contrary, the overprotection may exert negative impact on youngsters' future. For instance, prohibiting children doing what they like stifles their creativity which is the main driving force behind the significant improvement of modern science. Even if the parents' conducts are out of well-intention, they just impede(牛人词汇就是多，阻碍除了hinder obstruct,还有这个impede） the well-rounded development of teenagers.  我觉得这段有点跑题了，因为题目是determine future things
Further, teenagers nowadays acquire higher cognitive ability compared to those in the past. On one hand, new generation is capable of receiving higher quality schooling(schooling of higher quality), which equips them with the abilities to comprehend what they can do and what are prohibited. In the primary school, teachers place considerable emphasis on the ability to make a distinction between the right and wrong. We are warned not to watch the violent and sexual programs, which have great side influence(可以这样用吗？小白我不sure额） to our psychological soundness. On the other hand, admittedly, with the proliferation of the internet it（it指什么？应该把前面的with 去掉，用proliferation做主语） brings about（去掉about，直接bring，bring about是导致cause to happen的意思） some kinds of temptation while the benefits from the internet far outweigh its drawback（用while引导的表转折的句子，语意重点在前面半句). Through(对这个介词的用法不太sure) the internet, youngsters can expand their outlook, which enables youngsters to be thoughtful when making choices. So youngsters are bound to be more competent to decide their future.(逻辑清晰，论证有力）
Last but not least, encouraging teenagers to make decisions enables them to improve a wide variety of abilities and mold their characters. For example, youngsters are more willing to assume their obligation in the future, because by leaning on themselves to make choice they can understand that they should be responsible for their behaviors,(这个论点说得很有道理） which are in accordance with their own mind instead of being compelled by their parents. A recent survey conducted by Peking University indicates that the more children make decisions for their life, the earlier they get mature, which gives them competitive edge in job market.
All in all, admittedly, parents have better capability of detect(老是看柯南，怎么我就不知道用这个词呢) the right from the wrong. However, only if we give more freedom to youngsters are they able to be excellent in present society. Thus, when children are able to make a reasonable decision, parents should not compel children to do what they don't want to do.(中庸的来讲，我觉得可以补充说parent应当给点建议，而不是强迫他们去做某件事）
我觉得今天的作文好像比昨天的写得更好~

lihaolan

3.28独立
Along with the significant improvement of both modern science and productivity, people are able to enjoy higher quality of life. Meanwhile the issue that whether it is increasingly arduous for parents to raise their children has cause wide discussion. Some people assert that it is easier to bring up children because government has already accommodated the bread-and-butter needs of human. However, they fail to take into account the myriad of temptation that children have to face and the gap between the generations which has been widened. Therefore, I do not agree with the argument that people can raise their children more readily compared with that in the past.
First and foremost, although the state-of-the-art technology brings great convenience to human's life, yet it also enlarges the generation gap. It is not uncommon that, in present society, parents don't acquire the basic knowledge about novel techniques, which means children and parents have few common topics. Worse ever, the relationship is being destroyed by parents’ dictatorial behaviors towards modern technology. For instance, parents always impede children watching TV and using computer because they worry that there are excessive violent and pornographic contents. However, the fact is not in accordance with their illusion. There are a wealth of nutrient that children can obtain from internet and television. Such overprotective behaviors actually widen the generation gap, which make the situation from bad to worse. Thus, the advanced technology induces great challenge to the relationship between parents and children.
Further, there is no denying that adults nowadays are incapable of sparing enough time to get along with their children, which exerts negative impact on teenagers' well-rounded development. In the past, the pace of living is considerable slower, which enables people to have sufficient time to parent their children. They used to tell the story to their children, play games with them and so on, which are quite rear in the modern society because of the increasingly speed of modern life. Children who suffer the great lonely are more likely to have the mental diseases, according to a recent survey conducted by the Boston University.
Last but not least, children are more independent than those in the previous time due to their colorful experience and the education they receive. In primary school, we are taught not to follow the authority indiscriminately, which to same extent benefits to the children's future. However, the excessive independence makes it difficult to discipline youngsters. While being disciplined, youngsters always express great rebellion. Also, youngsters may go astray because of the distortion of their moral value and rebellion. Indisputably, some suggestions from parents are reasonable while children nowadays tend to neglect their advice, which may results in great loss to their future.
All in all, admittedly, the life quality has rapidly improved. However, the dramatic development of modern society also generates great challenge to human who have children, which genuinely makes it more formidable for parent to bring up a child.

viviyl

Along with the significant improvement of both modern science and productivity, people are able to enjoy higher quality of life. Meanwhile the issue that whether it is increasingly arduous for parents to raise their children has cause(d) wide discussion. Some people assert that it is easier to bring up children because government has already accommodated the bread-and-butter needs of human. However, they fail to take into account the myriad of temptation that children have to face and the gap between the generations which has been widened. Therefore, I do not agree with the argument that people can raise their children more readily compared with that(指代什么？) in the past.
First and foremost, although the state-of-the-art technology brings great convenience to human's life, yet it also enlarges the generation gap. It is not uncommon that, in present society, parents don't acquire the basic knowledge about novel techniques, which means children and parents have few common topics. Worse ever, the relationship is being destroyed by parents’ dictatorial behaviors towards modern technology. For instance, parents always impede children watching TV and using computer because they worry that there are excessive violent and pornographic contents. However, the fact is not in accordance with their illusion. There are a wealth of nutrient that children can obtain from internet and television. Such overprotective behaviors actually widen the generation gap, which make the situation from bad to worse. Thus, the advanced technology induces great challenge to the relationship between parents and children.

Further, there is no denying that adults nowadays are incapable of sparing enough time to get along with their children, which exerts negative impact on teenagers' well-rounded development. In the past, the pace of living is considerable slower, which enables people to have sufficient time to parent their children. They used to tell the story to their children, play games with them and so on, which(这里指代games还是行为本身？) are quite rear in the modern society because of the increasingly speed of modern life. Children who suffer the great lonely are more likely to have the mental diseases, according to a recent survey conducted by the Boston University.

Last but not least, children are more independent than those in the previous time due to their colorful experience and the education they receive. In primary school, we are taught not to follow the authority indiscriminately, which(which好像很少用来指代整句话，建议改成非谓语) to same extent benefits to the children's future. However, the excessive independence makes it difficult to discipline youngsters. While being disciplined, youngsters always express great rebellion. Also, youngsters may go astray because of the distortion of their moral value and rebellion. Indisputably, some suggestions from parents are reasonable while children nowadays tend to neglect their advice, which(建议改成非谓语) may results in great loss to their future.

All in all, admittedly, the life quality has rapidly improved. However, the dramatic development of modern society also generates great challenge to human who have children, which genuinely makes it more formidable for parent to bring up a child.

非常佩服你丰富的同意转换啊~！学到了很多不一样的表达~

观点论证也很好。

语法上，which作为先行词一般都指代前句中的核心名词，如果要表示行为的话用非谓语动词，这样表达更有效。

真的写得很好啊~

lihaolan

3.29独立
Along with the dramatic development of social economy, people enjoy more option of their working schedules. Meanwhile, the issue that whether it is more hilarious to work fewer days with longer hours each day than to work more days with shorter hours every day has caused wide discussion. Some people prefer to work more days but with shorter hours each day, because they make the illusion that it enables them to have more relaxation. However, they fail to take into account the pressure induced by working longer days and the benefits generated by working fewer days. Therefore, I still support that working fewer days is superior to working more days a week regardless of the time at work each day.
First and foremost, although people who choose to work more days a week can enjoy more free hours each day, yet the pressure generated by five-day works is significant. A great number of people tend to make a plan for tomorrow works if they have to work next day, which makes them worry about the tomorrow. A recent survey conducted by Peking University indicates that people with great pressure are more likely to be deprived of sleep. People who are deficient in sleep have great tendency to suffer from various diseases. On the contrary, with fewer working days, people can have more continuous day to relax and get away from the pressure engendered by daily works, which ensures them the good mental state when facing the coming work.  
Further, due to the high pace of life, people are unable to spare enough time to get along or accompany with their parents and children. It is not uncommon that children nowadays are devoid of love from parents. Worse ever, without the care from parents, children will go astray readily and may suffer the psychological diseases. What's more, people always are tired after daily work and unwilling to communicate with others, which makes people be isolated from the society. Working shorter days provides people with more opportunities to communicate with others. It accommodates their emotional needs and reinforces the family bonds. I would be hard-pressed to imagine that people who live in their own world without efficiently interacting with others can really enjoy their life.
Last but not least, working fewer days also contributes to high efficiency, because it enables people to be absorbed in their work more. As is known to us, working fewer days is the main driving force behind the efficiency of the work, because people have to complete their works on time, which makes them work proactively. In contrast, with more working days, people will live under the illusion that there is enough time left so that they will waste myriad of time, which results in low productivity.
Admittedly, working shorter hours and more days has its own advantages. However, it also brings about numerous adverse effects. In contrast, the benefits from three-day work far outweigh its disadvantages. Therefore, there is no doubt it is more enjoyable to choose three-day works.

lihaolan

3.30独立
In present society, with the dramatic development of modern technology, people in growing number tend to work on different projects at the same time, because they make the illusion that the state-of-the-art technique equips them with the ability to accomplish different tasks at the same time. However, is this really the case? In my perspective, although people nowadays can operate the advance machines, yet doing different projects simultaneously exerts great adverse effects. Therefore, it is more sensible to complete different tasks one by one.
First and foremost, even though modern life is saturated with myriad of cutting-edge equipments, it doesn't mean that people are capable of working on different projects at the same time effectively. There is no denying that the energy of human is limited no matter to what extent the society has developed. Thus, it is impossible for people to accomplish different tasks at same efficiently, because it is time-consuming to change the mind between different tasks. For instance, you cannot use the thought of science to work on the literature papers. Take myself as an example. I can work out almost all the math problem in a short time if I only work on math. However, if I work on math and literature simultaneously, I will have difficulty with some math problem, which will cost me much more time. It reflects that people can accomplish works more efficiently by working on the assignment one by one.
Further, it is wide acknowledged that accomplishing work separately ensures the high quality. Because people are more absorbed in the project when working on only one project, they can acquire the full understanding of the project, which enables them to prevent a number of mistakes. On the contrary, working on different assignments at the same time may distract people's attention, which always results in the low quality. A recent survey conducted by Peking University indicates that the more tasks people go about at one time, the more errors people tend to make. For the sake of a high quality assignment, I insist that people are supposed to go about only one work at one time.
Last but not least, people can obtain a wealth of knowledge by working out the tasks separately. The intention for us to accomplish works is not for its own sake. We should learn from the projects regardless of success of failure. When we are working only on one task, we are bound to benefit more because we have a deep thought about the assignment, which plays an essential role in improvement of people's capability. In contrast, we cannot spare enough time to analyze and learn from the tasks if we go about different tasks at one time, which means that we work just for the outcome rather than the process. This method just puts the cart over the horse.
Admittedly, the science has made extraordinary progress. However, people had better to go about one project at one time for it brings great benefits compared with working different projects simultaneously.