新人报道，求指导！！！

lihaolan

4.8独立
Are you curious about the private life of celebrities? I think majority of people have the tendency to dig out the privacy of celebrities due to the curiosity. It is not uncommon when having the meal people always talk about the news about the famous people. Also, newspaper reporters always focus their coverage on the private life of celebrities in order to attract more readers. However, does the preference of the public indicate that celebrities do not need privacy? Although celebrities may have some obligation to behavior well in the private life because of their statue, the secret and privacy are still necessary to their life.
First and foremost, even if the public are curious about the celebrities’ life, the private behaviors of celebrities have little relation with the public. There is no denying that people who want to know the private life of celebrities are not out of well-intention but from the curiosity. They just want to have something stimulating to discuss with friends and families in the leisure time. But do the celebrities have the obligation to accommodate such requirement? It is obvious that celebrities have right to make their own decisions about their privacy. They can be proactive to confess his private life to public, while people have no right to infringe on their life.
Further, indisputably, everyone needs the free space where they can relieve or alleviate the daily pressure. When being observed by public every second, I would be hard-pressed to imagine that people can have a good relaxation. A recent survey conducted by Boston University indicates that celebrities who are followed by paparazzi every day are more likely to suffer the psychological diseases. Is it worthwhile to satisfy the curiosity of public at the expense of their health? For sake of their health, people are supposed to give them more free space.
Last but not least, violating private life of celebrities also exerts detrimental impacts on their family. They are bound to have relatives. Assume a celebrity send his child to school following by numerous paparazzi. There is no doubt that child is incapable of handling this situation. They will feel afraid of the reporters, which just obstruct children's well-rounded development. Also, when celebrities have meal with his wife or girlfriends, not only celebrities themselves but their partner need the private space. Once they find out they are followed by others, they will end up eating as soon as possible, which is quite disturbed. Can you tolerate being interfered when having meal? The mutual understanding between public and celebrities is quite significant and essential. If we are aware of the suffering that celebrities and their family are experience, we will definitely give more respect to their privacy.
Admittedly, the celebrities to some extent have obligation to cater to the needs of public. However, they also need privacy, which is, undoubtedly, the basic human right as well as an indispensable part of their life.

山禾璟

4/8 修改
Are you curious about the private life of celebrities? I think majority of people have the tendency to dig out the privacy of celebrities due to the curiosity. It is not uncommon when having the meal people always talk about the news about the famous people. Also, newspaper reporters always focus their coverage on the private life of celebrities in order to attract more readers. However, does the preference of the public indicate that celebrities do not need privacy? Although celebrities may have some obligation to behavior well in the private life because of their statue(statue有点不恰当吧…), the secret and privacy are still necessary to their life.
First and foremost, even if the public are curious about the celebrities’ life, the private behaviors of celebrities have little relation with the public. There is no denying that people who want to know the private life of celebrities are not out of well-intention but from the curiosity. They just want to have something stimulating to discuss with friends and families in the leisure time. But do the celebrities have the obligation to accommodate such requirement? It is obvious that celebrities have right to make their own decisions about their privacy. They can be proactive to confess his private life to public, while people have no right to infringe on their life.
Further, indisputably, everyone needs the free space where they can relieve or alleviate the daily pressure. When being observed by public every second, I would be hard-pressed to imagine that people can have a good relaxation. A recent survey conducted by Boston University indicates that celebrities who are followed by paparazzi every day are more likely to suffer the psychological diseases. Is it worthwhile to satisfy the curiosity of public at the expense of their health? For sake of their health, people are supposed to give them more free space.
Last but not least, violating private life of celebrities also exerts detrimental impacts on their family. They are bound to have relatives. Assume a celebrity send his child to school following by numerous paparazzi. There is no doubt that child is incapable of handling this situation. They will feel afraid of the reporters, which just obstruct children's well-rounded development. Also, when celebrities have meal with his wife or girlfriends, not only celebrities themselves but their partner need the private space. Once they find out they are followed by others, they will end up eating as soon as possible, which is quite disturbed. Can you tolerate being interfered when having meal? The mutual understanding between public and celebrities is quite significant and essential. If we are aware of the suffering that celebrities and their family are experience, we will definitely give more respect to their privacy.
Admittedly, the celebrities to some extent have obligation to cater to the needs of public. However, they also need privacy, which is, undoubtedly, the basic human right as well as an indispensable part of their life.

_(:з」∠)_我太水看不出什么大问题，就是觉得statue这个词表示一种社会地位or身份用来描述celebrities可能言重了些，之后关于吃饭的例子中的【Can you tolerate being interfered when having meal?】感觉有点agressive
正好请教一下例子的具体化是不是把过程写得更详细些，而不用必须指名道姓或者有具体的出处？

lihaolan

山禾璟 发表于 2013-4-9 20:10
4/8 修改
Are you curious about the private life of celebrities? I think majority of people have the  ...

是的。            

lihaolan

4.9独立
Indisputably, the science researches are supposed to be funded by authorities, because scientists have no way to obtain enough money at the beginning. However, do governments have obligation to support any scientific researches even they are devoid of the practical use or value. Some people insist that governments should support every research because they cannot clearly point out whether this project is promising until the project is carried out. But these people neglect the finite expenditure of authorities as well as ignore the function of the evaluation which is made before the project is carried out. Thus, I cannot get along with the argument that governments have to support any research indiscriminately.
First and foremost, there is no denying that the tax revenue of authorities is limited, especially during the economic recession. Due to the tight budget, it is impossible for governments to invest on every scientific research. If governments insist to fund every research, it will induce undue deficit, which is bound to push the economy from bad to worse. Also, the unpractical researches cannot bring any benefits other than some useless dates. Some people may argue these researches can accommodate the people's curiosity. While they fail to take into account the fact that there is a few citizens willing to waste money on these projects for sake of satisfying one's curiosity. Majority of people would rather use these funds to improve the quality of life.
Further, there are various ways to utilize the expenditure more efficiently. It is not uncommon that a number of teenagers who are living in the villages are too poor to receive the basic education. Compared with investing money on the unpractical scientific researches, it is reasonable and beneficial to support these youngsters to complete their study, which not only promotes their well-rounded development but also facilities the progress of whole nation. Also, owing to the finite budget, myriad of infrastructure remains to be constructed or repaired. For instance, the public transport system in China is too antique which breeds great inconvenience to citizens. If authorities use the money to renovate the infrastructure, people can enjoy the higher living standard.
Last but not least, although the evaluation about the value of the researches sometimes may be misleading, yet as the dramatic development of science it becomes increasingly reliable and objective. Almost all the governments before deciding whether to invest on certain project will do some evaluation towards its merits. A recent survey conducted by Boston University indicates the accuracy of the prediction can reach 90% today. Even though we will miss some valuable researches or opportunities, the earning far outweighs the loss for we can evade countless unnecessary and unreasonable investment towards the scientific researches.
Admittedly, the government should provide funds to the scientific researches. However, for the sake of the interests of citizen, authorities should fund the researches only after careful examination about their value.

lihaolan

4.10独立
Children nowadays are increasingly difficult to discipline owing to the awareness of independence and the various temptation from the reality. The problems brought by television programs and movies have triggered significant attention. Some parents prefer to allow the children to watch TV programs or movies as much as they like, because they attach great importance to children's freedom. Also, they make an illusion that the TV programs and movies are able to sharpen the intellect, thereby promoting their performance in study. However, they overstate the function of the TV programs or movies and ignore the incapability of children to distinguish wrong from right. Thus, I insist parents are supposed to restrict the time that children spend on TV programs and movies for sake of the well academic performance of children.
First and foremost, although Cartoon enables children to get away from the daily grind and promote their creativity and efficiency, yet being excessive exposed to the TV programs and movies will distract their attention from the study, which is bound to exert detrimental impacts on their academic performance. As is known to us, the knowledge is playing more and more essential roles in modern society. Being devoid of knowledge, people are incapable of finding a satisfying job. Restriction of the time which children spend on TV programs and movies does not equate with forbidding them to watch any programs. They also have their own time to enjoy the cartoon. What's more, parents can use the opportunity to watch TV or movies as an incentive to inspire children work hard in school. Thus, limitation is beneficial for their school performance.
Further, there is no denying that there are excessive pornographic and violent content on TV programs or movies, which make it impossible for children to perform well in school. A recent survey conducted by Boston University indicates that the more violent and pornographic programs children are exposed to, the greater unruly children will be. They are more willing to spend more time on the events that are unrelated to study due to the misleading of these programs and movies. John, a friend of me, is addicted to the pornographic and violent movies, which makes him always fail the exam. He spends almost all the time in these movies and always escapes from school. If parents do not restrict the time that children waste on TV programs and movie, the tragedy of John may happen again.
Last but not least, by saving time on TV programs or movies, children can spare more time to exercise or interact with friends, which facilitate their performance in academic study. It is not uncommon that when children arrive home, they also sit in front of the TV, thereby having no time to communicate with their friends and to do exercise. Doing more exercise equips children with enough energy to deal with the daily task. Moreover, it is widely acknowledged that discussing problems with friends can facilitate the grasp of what teachers taught in class. Therefore, reducing the time of watching TV programs and movies, undoubtedly, assists children to acquire deep understanding of the knowledge that are taught in class.
Admittedly, television programs, to some extent, benefit children's development. However, once the children are addicted to the TV programs or movies, they cannot catch up with their classmates at study. Therefore, for sake of the study, parents had better to constrain the time children spend on TV programs and movies.

jay871750293

昨天忘记了，现在才修改好，实在是抱歉...

不得不大赞一下LZ的写作啊，我看了好久也就看出一个小错误...
同时，思路很清晰，积累很丰富，LZ写作太给力了~~~

山禾璟

4/10 修改
Children nowadays are increasingly difficult to discipline owing to the awareness of independence and the various temptations from the reality. The problems brought by television programs and movies have triggered significant attention. Some parents prefer to allow the children to watch TV programs or movies as much as they like, because they attach great importance to children's freedom. Also, they make an illusion that the TV programs and movies are able to sharpen the intellect, thereby promoting their performance in study. However, they overstate the function of the TV programs or movies and ignore the incapability of children to distinguish wrong from right. Thus, I insist parents are supposed to restrict the time that children spend on TV programs and movies for sake of the well academic performance of children.

First and foremost, although Cartoon enables children to get away from the daily grind and promote their creativity and efficiency, yet being excessive exposed to the TV programs and movies will distract their attention from the study, which is bound to exert detrimental impacts on their academic performance. As is known to us, the knowledge is playing more and more essential roles in modern society. Being devoid of knowledge, people are incapable of finding a satisfying job.（这句突然讲到知识的重要性，结合上下文看有点跳跃，个人感觉） Restriction of the time which children spend on TV programs and movies does not equate with forbidding them to watch any programs. They also have their own time to enjoy the cartoon. What's more, parents can use the opportunity to watch TV or movies as an incentive to inspire children work hard in school. Thus, limitation is beneficial for their school performance.

Further, there is no denying that there are excessive pornographic and violent content on TV programs or movies, which make it impossible for children to perform well in school. A recent survey conducted by Boston University indicates that the more violent and pornographic programs children are exposed to, the greater unruly children will be. They are more willing to spend more time on the events that are unrelated to study due to the misleading of these programs and movies. John, a friend of me, is addicted to the pornographic and violent movies, which makes him always fail the exam. He spends almost all the time in these movies and always escapes from school. If parents do not restrict the time that children waste on TV programs and movie, the tragedy of John may happen again.

Last but not least, by saving time on TV programs or movies, children can spare more time to exercise or interact with friends, which facilitate their performance in academic study. It is not uncommon that when children arrive home, they also sit in front of the TV, thereby having no time to communicate with their friends and to do exercise. Doing more exercise equips children with enough energy to deal with the daily task. Moreover, it is widely acknowledged that discussing problems with friends can facilitate the grasp of what teachers taught in class. Therefore, reducing the time of watching TV programs and movies, undoubtedly, assists children to acquire deep understanding of the knowledge that are taught in class.

Admittedly, television programs, to some extent, benefit children's development. However, once the children are addicted to the TV programs or movies, they cannot catch up with their classmates at study. Therefore, for sake of the study, parents had better to constrain the time children spend on TV programs and movies.

lihaolan

4.11独立
The majority of people have been aware of the significance of the education, thereby sparing no effort to enter the universities and colleges in order to pursue a promising future. Meanwhile, the issue what kind of education the universities are supposed to offer has triggered great discussion. Some people insist that universities and colleges are the place for students to acquire the theoretical knowledge, so it is not the obligation for universities or colleges to provide job preparation of the workplace. However, the students eventually have to face the fierce competition in the job market. If they are devoid of such knowledge, they are unlikely to find a satisfying job. Thus, I believe that for sake of their students’ future, colleges and universities have to conduct a better job preparation of the workplace for students.
First and foremost, although the pure theoretical knowledge plays an essential role in one's future, it does not mean that universities and colleges are able to evade providing a good job preparation. The difference between reality and theory are so significant that people who only acquire the pure theoretical knowledge cannot overwhelm other people in the competition. For instance, assume a person only know the basic knowledge of economy but not acquire the practical skills. When facing the practical problem, he cannot keep a clear mind and evaluate the situation efficiently, not to mention putting forward some reasonable solution.
Further, there is no denying that what the employers or managers place more emphasis on is the ability of adapting to the work rather that how much knowledge you obtain in university. Students who attend universities and colleges all have a craving for a decent job. This is the motivation for most students to enter the universities. It is absurd to ignore the practical and reasonable needs of students. By providing some courses which are related to their future works does not exerts detrimental effects on both students and schools. Students can be more ready to acquire a high-paid job, which enables them to contribute more to society. Also, the universities and college can foster a good reputation so that they are able to attract more students to register.
Last but not least, it is also more efficient for universities and colleges to teach such employable skills to students. A few people who graduate school will have enough time to learn how to adapt to the job and how to be a qualified employee systematically. They can only glean such knowledge from daily work and numerous failures which could be prevented originally. Also, a recent survey conducted by Boston University indicates that after people graduate from universities, their ability of learning declines as the time goes by. In other word, teaching such skills to students in universities and colleges is most cost-effective, which can save a wealth of the public resource.
Admittedly, universities and colleges is the place where students explore the world and acquire the theoretical knowledge. However, because of the dramatic change of society, teaching students with the marketable skills becomes urgent and necessary in universities and colleges.

kao154

批改见附件。。没找到大的语法失误

lihaolan

4.12独立
Due to the fierce competition nowadays, people have been aware of the significance of the broad network, which plays an essential role in one's success. It is not uncommon that students all have a craving for making more friends in school, which gives them a competitive edge in future race. Meanwhile, a number of youngsters are confronted with the question what is the best way for them to make new friends. Some people prefer to make friends by traveling, because it offers them precious chance to appreciate the amazing landscape by the way. Some other people choose to attend community activities which can improve their various abilities simultaneously. However, I insist that joining a sports team is superior to the other two methods owing to its special and obvious advantages.
First and foremost, although traveling enables youngsters to enjoy the beautiful landscape, yet not all the students can afford to travel frequently. What's more, students have to take classes every week, which means they cannot spare enough time to travel. In stark contrast to traveling, teenagers who participate in the sports team are supposed to spend little time every day to work with their teammates, thereby equipping them with sufficient time to deal with the homework. Moreover, taking part in a sports team does not cost a lot of money. For instance, if you join the basketball team, you may not spend any money because the exercise always takes place outdoors.
Further, there is no denying that it takes a long time to make a genuine friend because people have to thoroughly understand a people before deciding whether they are suitable to be friends. Participating in community activities only offers people finite time to get along with each other. Once the activities end up people seldom communicate or interact with each anymore. Also, by traveling, people at most get along for a week. I would be hard-pressed to imagine that people can make friends with each other at such short time. On the contrary, when youngsters attend the sports team, they can share the time with each other even though the time is short every day. But the teammates will be well-acquainted with each other after being trained for several months. This advantage cannot be provided by the traveling or community activities.
Last but not least, when doing sports, it is easier and more efficient for youngsters to make friends with others. Almost every teenager has the favorite athletes. Therefore, youngsters in the same sports team will share the same interests and have the similar topic, thereby making it more efficient for students to be friends. For instance, my favorite sport is basketball. When attending basketball team, my teammates and I always talk about NBA and those famous basketball stars so that we become good friends at a short time.
Admittedly, traveling or participating in community activities has their own advantages. However, at the same time, they also bring some inconvenience or problems to the students' life. Considering the special needs of students, joining a sports team is better for them.