asd 的作文贴，希望互相提高

cooperdw

There is a long-standing debate among people that whether the government should increase the economy regardless of the environmental concerns. Different will hold different opinions just as the proverb goes that one hundred people will have one hundred Hamlets in their minds. For my part, I think government can not concentrate on the economic(词性错误) without paying attention to the environemnt concerns.

To begin with, what is the most important thing for an individual? Money? Big houses? A pretty face? I think none of these factors is more significant than a healthy body. There is an old Chinese saying that the body is the base for everything. If the government focus all its energy to (on) the economic growth, it will inevitably causes some pollution which will cause(替换) myriads of diseases. have you heard that the polluted water from a big medical factory give rise to a high cancer rate to people nearby? If you have, I think you might stand on my side that on no account can we ignore the importance of the environment since our health and happiness are all based on the environment. (从工厂排出废水污染环境导致人类健康受到威胁来论证，论点不错)

In addition,many governments are paying for the the poor air and water pollution caused by the unlimited economic development. The money they pay for the worse environment may offset,or even outweigh the profits brought by the development. A recent survey conducted by the Chinese Living Condition Agency(CLCA) indicated that in 2011, Chinese government spent more than sixty billion Yuan for protecting and remedying the bad environment. It was a huge number of money, and Chinese started to draw attention to this issue. So the high speed development of economy may not result in an ideal concequence. (这段不错)

Last but not the least, paying attention to environment may be beneficial. I might cite an island county as an example. This remote island is very beautiful and has a good environment.A great deal of tourists come

Came to this island every year, bringing(and brought) a lot of financial benefits to this country. so a good environment also creates profits.  

from what have been taken into consideration, I can draw the very(???少成分吧) conclusion that by no means can government ignore the status of environment concerns. A good living environment will not only bring everyone a high-quality life but also can save a great deal of money. Even someone would disagree with me, saying that economic booming will enable people to buy cars and luxury goods. But I think all these things,compared with a health,seem to be ignorable.(最后一句话还是尽量和题目相关，health不是本篇文章的题目)、

再次给体育兄道歉   ！晚了将近两天才发上来！没有下次了！ sorry！

体育兄的进步很大， 作文中的优秀词汇连连而，而且逻辑都很不错，再注意一些小的细节就 更上一层楼了！

祝你考T成功！

45573asdasd

There is a long-standing debate among people that whether the government should increase the economy regardless of the environmental concerns. Different will hold different opinions just as the proverb goes that one hundred people will have one hundred Hamlets in their minds. For my part, I think government can not concentrate on the economic(词性错误) without paying attention to the environemnt concerns.

To begin with, what is the most important thing for an individual? Money? Big houses? A pretty face? I think none of these factors is more significant than a healthy body. There is an old Chinese saying that the body is the base for everything. If the government focus all its energy to (on) the economic growth, it will inevitably causes some pollution which will cause(替换) myriads of diseases. have you heard that the polluted water from a big medical factory give rise to a high cancer rate to people nearby? If you have, I think you might stand on my side that on no account can we ignore the importance of the environment since our health and happiness are all based on the environment. (从工厂排出废水污染环境导致人类健康受到威胁来论证，论点不错)

In addition,many governments are paying for the the poor air and water pollution caused by the unlimited economic development. The money they pay for the worse environment may offset,or even outweigh the profits brought by the development. A recent survey conducted by the Chinese Living Condition Agency(CLCA) indicated that in 2011, Chinese government spent more than sixty billion Yuan for protecting and remedying the bad environment. It was a huge number of money, and Chinese started to draw attention to this issue. So the high speed development of economy may not result in an ideal concequence. (这段不错)

Last but not the least, paying attention to environment may be beneficial. I might cite an island county as an example. This remote island is very beautiful and has a good environment.A great deal of tourists come

Came to this island every year, bringing(and brought) a lot of financial benefits to this country. so a good environment also creates profits.  

from what have been taken into consideration, I can draw the very(???少成分吧) conclusion that by no means can government ignore the status of environment concerns. A good living environment will not only bring everyone a high-quality life but also can save a great deal of money. Even someone would disagree with me, saying that economic booming will enable people to buy cars and luxury goods. But I think all these things,compared with a health,seem to be ignorable.(最后一句话还是尽量和题目相关，health不是本篇文章的题目)、

再次给体育兄道歉   ！晚了将近两天才发上来！没有下次了！ sorry！

体育兄的进步很大， 作文中的优秀词汇连连而，而且逻辑都很不错，再注意一些小的细节就 更上一层楼了！

祝你考T成功！

-- by 会员 cooperdw (2012/12/23 18:36:57)

cooper兄弟说的很好，我有收获。你看我这几句，也许对我们都有帮助呢
This remote island is very beautiful and has a good environment.A great deal of tourists come

Came to this island every year, bringing(and brought) a lot of financial benefits to this country（这属于一个伴随形状与从句，bringing是做尾伴随结果出现）
very 也可以作为形容词表示强调。

45573asdasd

In today's high-velocity society, people are always seeking reasons or even excuse for their defects. Just as the statement goes, is there any excuse for being rude to others? for me,however, I hold the definite opinion that on no account can we be impolite to others. My reasons following will substantiate my reasons.

To begin with, being rude to others has a negative effect on the relationship among people. There is an old saying in China that the politeness is the soil for the seeds of friendship to burgeon. It does not acquire much intellegence to imagine that if some are rude to us, we will be angry, therefore disliking him. I might cite an example from my classmate Tom. once Tom was a willful and selfish person. He talked in his own style and showed no respect to anyone. He thought this behavior would make him cool. But later he found that he lost all his friends. Luckly, he realized his problem soon and changed his way of conversation, and he finally had his friends back.I am glad to see his change. The point is that Tom'story is convincing to illustrate that being rude might ruin the friendship.

In addition, it is universally acknowledged that respect creates an ideal work atmosphere, and the politeness is the cornerstone of the respect.Have you heard that the staff in an efficient company are all polite to each other? if you have, I think you may stand on my side that being polite to others, especially to workmates, will be good for jobs. Common sense informs us that if others are polite to us, we will feel happy and joyful. based on the jofulness brought by others, we may work more efficiently. A good example is a company called Hai Di Lao which sells food to costomers.The company trains all its staff to be polite to not only clients but also workmates. This strategy works anyway. The atmosphere in this company is very good.people like buying goods there. It also bring the company considerable profits. So in term of the efficiency of the work, I think we should be polite to others.

From what have been taken into consideration very carefully. I can confidently draw the conclusion that by no means can we be rude to others. It will not only result in a bad relationship with others but also give rise to low efficiency. Even someone might disagree with me, saying that rudeness may create pressure. pressure is the motive for people to work. But people who maintain this view ignore that the pressure also is the start of making mistakes.

brace1016

能不请体育兄帮忙改篇独立哦。想学习你的思维下。我们分组总是没有分到一块哦。谢谢，我也看看你的文章哦。我19号的独立还没有人帮忙改呢。恳请帮忙改。你要是没有人改你的也告诉我。

45573asdasd

那就今天把。你在qq上跟队长说一声

1369179610

写的非常好了啊~~~嗯可能是满分哦，羡慕一下~~

45573asdasd

真的假的兄台？你老是给我戴高帽

1369179610

真的啦~这次没有戴高帽哦

tengawaakito

真的假的兄台？你老是给我戴高帽

-- by 会员 45573asdasd (2012/12/23 22:22:20)

感觉体育哥哥的文章越写约好了！句子也很丰富，想请教下试怎么提高的？我最近想看老美的185篇作文范文，不知道有没有帮助？

45573asdasd

真的假的兄台？你老是给我戴高帽

-- by 会员 45573asdasd (2012/12/23 22:22:20)

感觉体育哥哥的文章越写约好了！句子也很丰富，想请教下试怎么提高的？我最近想看老美的185篇作文范文，不知道有没有帮助？

-- by 会员 tengawaakito (2012/12/24 12:05:49)

我的结构是固定的。观点+论证+总结就是一段，还有开始的时候逼着自己用一些好句。慢慢练就顺手点了。我还差的源远。共同努力