asd 的作文贴，希望互相提高

1369179610

Do you agree that students taking school organization and activities club is as important as their academic class.


Recently, a controversial issue has been brought into our eyesights that whether the experience of the school activities enjoys the same level of importance as the academic courses? Different people would hold different opinions. for my part, however, I strongly believe that the experiences in the school clubs is as significant as the academic subjects for students' long-term development. My reasons will substantiate my viewpoint below.


To begin with,an active participation in the school clubs is undoubt（no doubt） an excellent way for the young to keep and expand their social cycle in which they can make friends. There is an old saying in China goes that" one more friend, one more way." The saying is simple but it makes sense in that study(case), in this society,There is no longer the only thing that (various factors could)affects one's future. A good social cycle also plays an indispensable role in making people successful. Many(例子要和介绍匹配) famous individuals' examples can prove my opinion. For instance. Bill Gates, the EX CEO of Microsoft Company. He dropped his study and found many of his friends to make their own business(found his internet empires due to his countless friends and colleagues), finally building the huge business kingdom. Similar examples happen everyday around us.So a wide-range social cycle is good for students' success. Activities can help people（students啦~） achieve this goal.


In addition, students' participating in the school clubs also anneals their abilities to handle problems, since there might be all kinds of things for them to organize and cope with during the activities. To make my opinion more convincing, I would like to cite my brother Tom as an example. Tom once was a spoiled child, he did what he likes and never minded others' feelings. While after the he joined an interest club and took the leader position,all of the family saw his shift. He became to care about others and talked in manner. We are all amazing at his change.So I think Tom's example is compelling that the experiences in the club is important.


From what have been taken into consideration carefully, I can draw the conclusion that the students should take organization in school clubs, in that they can not only make more friends but also anneal themselves. These two factors both enjoys great importance. While someone will disagree with me, saying that academic subjects is more vital to students because the good GPA is the cornerstone in applying an（a） university which can afterwards ensure a good job. But I think the the activities and clubs also can prepare them better if they step in the society.


asd君，这篇作文写的很不错~~只是你一定要审好题（两者一样重要，而不是参加活动更重要），这意味着你要谈到两者的关系究竟是怎样的，为什么是这样。其实你完全可以不同意题目的观点，说活动更重要，懂得灵活应变很很很重要！！！

45573asdasd

Different people have their own ways of thinking and acting. Just as the question goes, when I am assighed an important presentation, what am I supposed to do? Act at once or wait for a good idea? For my part, however, I hold the definite opinion that we should wait until we come up with an ideal diea because I believe that only by this way can we be more efficient and successful. My reasons will substantiate my viewpoint below.

To begin with, no matter what job we do, a good preparation is always the cornerstone for the efficiency and success. It seems that the immediate action saves us a great deal of time, but the truth is that mistakes or even faliures always accompany with the instant action.have you ever experienced that you have to redo the whole work due to a vital logical mistake made at the begining? If you have, I think you might stand on my side that haste always creates mistakes. While if we act until we reach a good idea, we easily avoide this problem. Maybe we can do the presentation more efficiently.the time saved may offset, or even outweigh the time of considering. So I highly recommend that we do not start to work untile we reach an idea.

In addition, our thoughts will be more clear and unequivocal if we have a good idea first which will lead to a confident performance. I might cite my own story as an example. When I was at my junior, I was assigned a presentation job which requires a large amount of work. At first I have no idea how to do it. Later I changed my strategy that I did nothing but thinking.At last I came up with a good idea, and my confidence was boosted, therefore leading to a perfect performance with my affection and self-confidence. So I think my story is convincing that a presentation with good thought will be an excellent one.

From what have been taken into consideration carefully. I can draw the conclusion that we should wait until we get the idea. Some one might disagree with me, saying that people who take action right away can avoid wasting time. But they ignore the fact that this kind of behavior might also give rise to mistakes which can, in turn waste a lot of time. While the presentation with solid preparation will not only time-efficient but also bring us a unparalleled self-confidence. So that is the reason why I choose to wait until I get an idea  .

1369179610

Different people have their own ways of thinking and acting. Just as the question goes, when I am assigned an important presentation, what am I supposed to do? Act at once or wait for a good idea? For my part, however, I hold the definite opinion that we should wait until we come up with an ideal diea(idea) because I believe that only by this way can we be more efficient and successful. My reasons will substantiate my viewpoint below.
To begin with, no matter what job we do, a good preparation is always the cornerstone for the efficiency and success. It seems that the immediate action saves us a great deal of time, but the truth is that mistakes or even faliures always accompany with the instant action.Have you ever experienced that you have to redo the whole work due to a vital logical mistake made at the beginning? If you have, I think you might stand on my side that haste（act in haste） always creates mistakes. While if we act until we reach a good idea, we easily avoide this problem. Maybe we can do the presentation more efficiently.the time saved may offset, or even outweigh(more than ) the time of considering. So I highly recommend that we do not start to work untile  we reach an idea.
In addition, our thoughts will be more clear and unequivocal if we have a good idea first which will lead to a confident performance. I might cite my own story as an example. When I was at my junior, I was assigned a presentation job which requires a large amount of work. At first I have no idea how to do it. Later I changed my strategy that I did nothing but thinking.At last I came up with a good idea, and my confidence was boosted, therefore leading to a perfect performance with my affection and self-confidence. So I think my story is convincing that a presentation with good thought will be an excellent one.

From what have been taken into consideration carefully. I can draw the conclusion that we should wait until we get the idea. Some one might disagree with me, saying that people who take action right away can avoid wasting time. But they ignore the fact that this kind of behavior might also give rise to mistakes which can, in turn waste a lot of time. While the presentation with solid preparation will not only time-efficient but also bring us a unparalleled self-confidence. So that is the reason why I choose to wait until I get an idea.

嗯~~不错哦~~没什么可说的问题啦~~

cooperdw

Different people have their own ways of thinking and acting. Just as the question goes, when I am assighed(assigned) an important presentation, what am I supposed to do? Act at once or wait for a good idea? For my part, however, I hold the definite opinion that we should wait until we come up with an ideal diea(idea) because I believe that only by this way can we be more efficient and successful. My reasons will substantiate my viewpoint below.

To begin with, no matter what job we do, a good preparation is always the cornerstone for the efficiency and success. It seems that the immediate action saves us a great deal of time, but the truth is that mistakes or even faliures always accompany with the instant action.have you ever experienced that you have to redo the whole work due to a vital logical mistake made(什么词性？) at the begining? If you have, I think you might stand on my side that haste always creates mistakes. While if we act until we reach a good idea, we easily avoide（没有情态动词很别扭） this problem. Maybe we can do（换）the presentation more efficiently.the time saved may offset, or even outweigh the time of considering. So I highly recommend that we do not start to work untile (until) we reach an idea.

In addition, our thoughts will be more clear and unequivocal if we have a good idea first which will lead to a confident performance. I might cite my own story as an example. When I was at my junior, I was assigned a presentation job which requires a large amount of work. At first I have no idea how to do it. Later I changed my strategy that I did nothing but thinking.At last I came up with a good idea, and my confidence was boosted, therefore leading to a perfect performance with my affection and self-confidence. So I think my story is convincing that a presentation with good thought will be an excellent one.

(这一段的逻辑值得商榷：一开始的论点，好的点子可以帮助我们在表现上显得更加的自信。但是你给的例证中并没有说明“为什么好的点子会增加自信”，你只是举了一个例子说明自己曾经有一个这样的经历：有很多事情要做，一开始自己也不知道干嘛，之后改变了战略，想出了个好办法，然后你的自信就爆棚了。你不觉你这些话只是把你这段的第一句话用很多修饰，插入语装饰的更长了一点吗?你应该在说完想出了好点子之后，继续论证：什么样的好点子可以有助于信心的爆棚？可以是去更多的搜集资料，又或者是去向有经验的前人请教，获得了点点滴滴的积累之后，这样才能使你的表现变得更加自信)



From what have been taken into consideration carefully. I can draw the conclusion that we should wait until we get the idea. Some one might disagree with me, saying that people who take action right away can avoid wasting time. But they ignore the fact that this kind of behavior（these behaviors）might also give rise to mistakes which can, in turn waste a lot of time. While the presentation with solid preparation will not only be time-efficient but also brings us a unparalleled self-confidence. So that is the reason why I choose to wait until I get an idea

表达上没什么问题了

逻辑还要在多思考思考

45573asdasd

文中的例子是胡扯的，是在时间太紧不得已为之。改的同学不必计较　　　
recently a controversial issue has been brought into our eye-sights that which one are the professors supposed to do? focus on the researching career? Or just be a genuine professor that teaches students.Just as the Shakespeare once said that one hundred people would have one hundred Hamlets in their minds. For me, however, I hold the unshakable opinion that it is necessary for professors to spend more time on the research in that it is not only beneficial for the students but also for the whole industry. My reasons following will substantiate my opinion.
　　　
　　　To begin with, the question was set on an gratuitous assumption that the research work and the teaching job are mutually exclusive, but common sense informs us that professors with good research would have more experiences and solid background. these two factors are the corner stone for a excellent teaching ability. I might cite my own experiences as an example. When I was at my senior, I had two professor, Tom and Jay, professor Tom was a PHD, but he did nothing but teaching, and he can only convey the knowledge from the books to us. It is boring. But Professor Jay was totally different from Tom. he was the  at the forefront of his subject, teaching in his own style and even leading us into his research. We all liked Jay. As a result, most of us owned a deeper understanding in Jay's class. I think this story can be very convincing that a good professor requires some research as his backgroud.
　　　
　　　In addition, it requires not much intelligence to acknowledge that if a professor's name appears on the Time Magzine because of his research, he will be no doubt a shining symbol of his industry, therefore attracting and pushing more students to pursue certain industry. I might cite an example of the famous scientist Wang Ba in China, he was the Space Science professor of Tingshua University, he made the first rocket in Chinese history. His achievement brought China a lot of honor and pride, meanwhile attrcting more and more students to chase space science.Now China is among the strongest countries with space science technology. I think Wang Ba's example is convincing that it is more important for professor to do research.
　　　
　　　From what have been taken into consideration carefully,it is unequivocalthat professors should do researches. even some one may disagree with me, arguing that professor can teach more students and concentrate on teaching if they focus their energy on the teaching. But they ignore the fact that more researches can not only make students know about certain industries but also boost the whole industry, So I insist on my opinion that professor should do researches

1369179610

recently a controversial issue has been brought into our eye-sights that which one are the professors supposed to do? focus on the researching career? Or just be a genuine professor that teaches students.Just as the Shakespeare once said that one hundred people would have one hundred Hamlets in their minds. For me, however, I hold the unshakable opinion that it is necessary for professors to spend more time on the research in that it is not only beneficial for the students but also for the whole industry. My reasons following will substantiate my opinion.
　　　
　　　To begin with, the question was set on an gratuitous assumption that the research work and the teaching job are mutually exclusive, but common sense informs us that professors with a good research would have more experiences and solid background. these two factors are the corner stone for a excellent teaching ability. I might cite my own experiences as an example. When I was at in my senior year, I had two professors, Tom and Jay, professor Tom was a PHD, but he did nothing but teaching, and he can only convey the knowledge from the books to us. It is boring. But Professor Jay was totally different from Tom. he was the  at the forefront of his subject, teaching in his own style and even leading us into his research. We all liked Jay. As a result, most of us owned a deeper understanding in Jay's class. I think this story can be very convincing that a good professor requires some research as his background.
　　　
　　　In addition, it requires not much intelligence to acknowledge that if a professor's name appears on the Time Magzine because of his research, he will be no doubt a shining symbol of his industry, therefore attracting and pushing more students to pursue certain industry. I might cite an example of the famous scientist Wang Ba in China, he was the Space Science professor of Tsinghua University, he made the first rocket in Chinese history. His achievement brought China a lot of honor and pride, meanwhile attrcting more and more students to chase space science.Now China is among the strongest countries with space science technology. I think Wang Ba's example is convincing that it is more important for professor to do research.
　　　
From what have been taken into consideration carefully,it is unequivocal that professors should do researches. Even some one may disagree with me, arguing that professor can teach more students and concentrate on teaching if they focus their energy on the teaching. But they ignore the fact that more researches can not only make students know about certain industries but also boost the whole industry, So I insist on my opinion that professor should do researches

好词越来越多了嘛~~继续积累吧~关于赶时间：我觉得麻雀虽小，五脏俱全，asd君只要码够400字就可以了，185上面的满分文章多数都是400字左右。

45573asdasd

Recently, a controversial issue has been brought into our eye-sights that which one enables people to acquire more knowledge? Television or books? Just as the Shake Speare once said that there are thousand hamlets in a thousand people's eyes. for me, however, I maintain the definite viewpoint that the books are more beneficial than the even more advanced tech-product TV because books do not only provide more valuable intelligence but also provide a peaceful mood which TV fails to provide. My reasons following will substantiate my opinion in detail.

To begin with,have you ever spend the whole afternoon in watching the meaningless serials without making any use of you brain? If you have, I think you might stand on my side that as the television brings us a lot of joy and entertainment, meanwhile it wastes us a lot of the most valuable thing,time. A recent survey conducted by Chinese Intelligence Agency(CIA) indicates that sixty percents of TV watchers are wasting most of their time on films, talk shows and something like that. Needless to say study something. Even if people want to learn knowledge, they have to bear with the immense amount of the advertisements. But reading books is another story, we only need a quiet place and we can learn as much as we want. So in term of the effiency of the study, the books prevails.

In addition, We can not deny that the content in the TV programs is more interesting because of the combination of the sound and images. But every coin has its two sides just as the saying goes. Nowadays the runners of the TV programs mainly focus on how many people whatch their programs and how to make more people watch, leaving other things out of minds. This kind of behavior inevatibly causes the TV programs to convey not the true knowledge, but the splashing outlook to us. However the books can provide people not only more but also profound knowledge. One single book might contain the author's whole life.So books outweight televisions again.

from what have been taken into consideration carefully, I can draw the very conclusion that people can not learn more from televisions than books.Some one might disagree with me, arguing that the vivid images in the programs will be more attracting. That fact is what I can not deny, but they neglect the significant fact that attracting images and music do not equal to the true knowledge. By contrast, books are the condensation of others' experiences with deeper level. I still hold my unshakable opinion that books provide more for people to learn.

lizchang1990

Recently, a controversial issue has been brought into our eye-sights that which one enables people to acquire more knowledge? Television or books? Just as the Shake Speare(建议合并,人名你就不要拆开了) once said that there are thousand hamlets in a thousand people's eyes. for me, however, I maintain the definite viewpoint that the books are more beneficial than the even more advanced tech-product TV because books do not only provide more valuable intelligence(其实book不要后面接这个词,用偏了,简单knowledge吧) but also provide a peaceful mood which TV fails to(这个表达很好) provide. My reasons following will substantiate my opinion in detail.

To begin with,have you ever spend the whole afternoon in watching the meaningless serials without making any use of you brain? If you have, I think you might stand on my side that as the television brings us a lot of joy and entertainment, meanwhile it wastes us a lot of the most valuable thing,time. A recent survey conducted by Chinese Intelligence Agency(CIA)(中国情报局?!?!求解释,呵呵) indicates that sixty percents of TV watchers are wasting most of their time on films, talk shows and something like that. Needless to say study something. Even if people want to learn knowledge, they have to bear with the immense amount of the advertisements. But reading books is another story, we only need a quiet place and we can learn as much as we want. So in term of the effiency(efficiency) of the study, the books prevails(这个词感觉还是有偏差,overweighs the TV吧,个人拙见而已~).

(你后面既然是先扬后抑,就要用admittedly/although/albeit,不然读者看了都要倒回前面看你standpoint,看是否自己看错了,注意逻辑连接词哦,呵呵)In addition, We can not deny that the content in the TV programs is more interesting because of the combination of the sound and images. But every coin has its (去its)two sides just as the saying goes. Nowadays the runners of the TV programs mainly focus on how many people whatch (小错误)their programs and how to make more people watch, leaving other things out of minds. This kind of behavior inevatibly causes the TV programs to convey not the true knowledge, but the splashing outlook to us. However the books can provide people not only more but also profound knowledge. One single book might contain the author's whole life.So books outweight(outweigh这个词很容易出错,) televisions again.

from what have been taken into consideration carefully, I can draw the very conclusion that people can not learn more from televisions than books.Some one might disagree with me, arguing that the vivid images in the programs will be more attracting. That fact is what I can not deny, but they neglect the significant fact that attracting images and music do not equal to the true knowledge. By contrast, books are the condensation(用词偏差了,就product吧,我今天看native人用了这词,比你这个condensation地道准确哦,这个凝结非你要表达的凝结) of others' experiences with deeper level. I still hold my unshakable opinion that books provide more for people to learn.



之前也看过你文章,不错,词汇丰富,能半小时430+字可以了,呵呵~~但建议没时间写的话,不要把先抑后扬的句子丢出来,尽量先完成2个正面观点支撑,若有时间3个都丢出来吧~



总体文章不错! 我刚刚一看就帮你看最近的,我明天再帮你把前面一篇看了吧,呵呵~ 你作业完成得很快很好~

sunflowerclan

Recently a controversial issue has been brought into our eye-sights that which one are the professors supposed to do? focus on the researching career? Or just be a genuine professor that teaches students. Just as the Shakespeare once said that one hundred people would have one hundred Hamlets in their minds. For me, however, I hold the unshakable opinion that it is necessary for professors to spend more time on the research in that it is not only beneficial for the students but also for the whole industry. My reasons following will substantiate my opinion.
　　　
　　　To begin with, the question was set on an gratuitous assumption that the research work and the teaching job are mutually exclusive, but common sense informs us that professors with good research would have more experiences and solid background. these two factors are the corner stone for a excellent teaching ability这里的cornerstone 我喜欢，. I might cite my own experiences as an example. When I was at my senior, I had two professor, Tom and Jay, professor Tom was a PHD, but he did nothing but teaching, and he can only convey the knowledge from the books to us（呵呵，这样说是不是更好he just go over the material in the textbook）. It is boring. But Professor Jay was totally different from Tom. he was the atin the forefront of his subject, teaching in his own style and even leading us into his research.这句话有歧义。是想表达to his laboratory吗We all liked Jay. As a result, most of us owned a deeper understanding in Jay's class. I think this story can be very convincing that a good professor requires some research as his backgroud.
　　　
　　　In addition, it requires not much intelligence to acknowledge that if a professor's name appears on the Time Magzine because of his research, he will be no doubt a shining symbol of his industry, therefore attracting and pushing more students to pursue certain industry. I might cite an example of the famous scientist Wang Ba in China, he was the Space Science professor of Tingshua University（调整下语序he was professor of Space Science at T University ,） he made the first rocket in Chinese history. His achievement brought China a lot of honor and pride, meanwhile attracting more and more students tochasespace science(发现自从上了chase dream, chase从此变成了高频词。但我上google查了，没有这个用法,呵呵，改成develop) .Now China is among the strongest countries with space science technology. I think Wang Ba's example is convincing that it is more important for professor to do research.
　　　
　　　From what have been taken into consideration carefully,it is unequivocal that professors should do researches. even some one may disagree with me, arguing that professor can teach more students and concentrate on teaching if they focus their energy on the teaching. But they ignore the fact that more researches can not only make students know about certain industries but also boost the whole industry, So I insist on my opinion that professor should do researches

整片文章写得例证+说理很充分。结尾也挺好（有让步）。但，其实字数已经足够了，没有必要的话就不用写的。嘿嘿~^+^

45573asdasd

Recently, a controversial issue has been brought into our eye-sights that which one enables people to acquire more knowledge? Television or books? Just as the Shake Speare(建议合并,人名你就不要拆开了) once said that there are thousand hamlets in a thousand people's eyes. for me, however, I maintain the definite viewpoint that the books are more beneficial than the even more advanced tech-product TV because books do not only provide more valuable intelligence(其实book不要后面接这个词,用偏了,简单knowledge吧) but also provide a peaceful mood which TV fails to(这个表达很好) provide. My reasons following will substantiate my opinion in detail.

To begin with,have you ever spend the whole afternoon in watching the meaningless serials without making any use of you brain? If you have, I think you might stand on my side that as the television brings us a lot of joy and entertainment, meanwhile it wastes us a lot of the most valuable thing,time. A recent survey conducted by Chinese Intelligence Agency(CIA)(中国情报局?!?!求解释,呵呵) indicates that sixty percents of TV watchers are wasting most of their time on films, talk shows and something like that. Needless to say study something. Even if people want to learn knowledge, they have to bear with the immense amount of the advertisements. But reading books is another story, we only need a quiet place and we can learn as much as we want. So in term of the effiency(efficiency) of the study, the books prevails(这个词感觉还是有偏差,overweighs the TV吧,个人拙见而已~).

(你后面既然是先扬后抑,就要用admittedly/although/albeit,不然读者看了都要倒回前面看你standpoint,看是否自己看错了,注意逻辑连接词哦,呵呵)In addition, We can not deny that the content in the TV programs is more interesting because of the combination of the sound and images. But every coin has its (去its)two sides just as the saying goes. Nowadays the runners of the TV programs mainly focus on how many people whatch (小错误)their programs and how to make more people watch, leaving other things out of minds. This kind of behavior inevatibly causes the TV programs to convey not the true knowledge, but the splashing outlook to us. However the books can provide people not only more but also profound knowledge. One single book might contain the author's whole life.So books outweight(outweigh这个词很容易出错,) televisions again.

from what have been taken into consideration carefully, I can draw the very conclusion that people can not learn more from televisions than books.Some one might disagree with me, arguing that the vivid images in the programs will be more attracting. That fact is what I can not deny, but they neglect the significant fact that attracting images and music do not equal to the true knowledge. By contrast, books are the condensation(用词偏差了,就product吧,我今天看native人用了这词,比你这个condensation地道准确哦,这个凝结非你要表达的凝结) of others' experiences with deeper level. I still hold my unshakable opinion that books provide more for people to learn.



之前也看过你文章,不错,词汇丰富,能半小时430+字可以了,呵呵~~但建议没时间写的话,不要把先抑后扬的句子丢出来,尽量先完成2个正面观点支撑,若有时间3个都丢出来吧~



总体文章不错! 我刚刚一看就帮你看最近的,我明天再帮你把前面一篇看了吧,呵呵~ 你作业完成得很快很好~

-- by 会员 lizchang1990 (2012/12/31 21:24:02)

谢谢哦~真的是很有用的批改，而且这么细心。要不我还不知道先抑后扬的用法呢。CIA哈哈哪个是胡乱编的，毕竟缩写嘛，还是中国的，写什么应该都不算错吧