asd 的作文贴，希望互相提高

45573asdasd

本人国家级运动员，求学路上顺风顺水，但是这也是我的软肋，因为一路太顺导致我基础很差，接触托福开始我才知道真正的努力所带来的心灵的磨练。杀t 3次： 分别为83，90，94。作文总是徘徊在22左右。 因为和各位有着同样的梦想，我来到了这里。希望在这里和大家互相提高。我知道我的分数并不算高，但是一个体育生都能在最头疼的学习上慢慢的提高，你又怎么可能放弃呢？ 在一月12号前我尽量每天都写
（追梦成功~希望各位加油啊~）

45573asdasd

12.5日作业，独立写作，严格按照30min。以下为原始稿，希望各位提出宝贵建议

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people today are more likely to help others than young people in the past。
Recently, A controversial issue has been brought into our eye-sight that whether the young today are more likely too help others than those in the past. What a good topic it is to remind the goodness in the bottom of hearts. For me, Even thought the young in the past also help others, I agree that young people in today's society are more incliened to help others. My reasons following will substantiate my opinion.
To begin with,the willing to help others is based on the good capibility to help others. The young today enjoy this advantage.owing to the widespread internet and good resources of knowledge, young people,even the middle shcool students,aquire all kinds of knowledge easily. they know the digital products, they know Google maps which can lead the way for others and they know how to get the products on sale in E-buy. These are something the young people in tha past can not do. So at this point, the young people live in today are more likely to help others than their predesossors in the past.
In addition. I am always surprised how powerful the mordern media is.Thanks to the powerful media and press the good spirit,which is the willing to help others , are always praised.Have you ever heard a boy jumped into the warter to save the babies? Have you ever you heard a girl donate her money to the senior who lost their family? If you did so ,I think you will be as touched as I am. These report pose an dramatic influence on everybody, especially young people.They will learn to be willing to help others from all kinds of news paper, internet and the TV. Compared to the young in today, the young in the past will never have this opportunity to know the outside world. Even if they are kind-hearted, they will never affect others.So, The young in today are more likely to help others.
Last but not least.The young today,more often than not, are educated. they not only learn the academic subjects in the school but also learn the good spirit such as, honesty integrity and the willing to help others. Everyone might has this experience that teachers ask every four of five students work in a group and solve promblems to gether. It is a very good way for them to develop a habit to count on each other and help others. But the people in the past can not have the wide spread education.
From all aspect taken into consideration. I can draw the conclusion that the young in today are more likely to help others. They enjoy good education, responsible media and resources of knowledge. All these are necessary for them to develop the spirit and ability to help others. Even though the young in the past have to count each other to making a living. They did not have the advantages which today's young people enjoy.

1369179610

我不是来批改的，我是来欣赏的，你写的很不错哦~

45573asdasd

真的假的，为啥我作文总是上不去呢，好痛苦。。

45573asdasd

以下是修改后的12.5作业。但是我只改出了一些小得语法错误。有TX能不能看看我的逻辑，结构什么的
Recently, A controversial issue has been brought into our eye-sight that whether the young today are more likely too help others than those in the past. What a good topic it is to remind the goodness in the bottom of hearts. For me, Even thought the young in the past also help others, I agree that young people in today's society are more incliened to help others. My reasons following will substantiate my opinion.
To begin with,the willingness to help others is based on the good capibility to help others. The young today enjoy this advantage.owing to the widespread internet and good resources of knowledge, young people,even the middle shcool students,aquire all kinds of knowledge easily. they know the digital products, they know Google maps which can lead the way for others and they know how to get the products on sale in E-buy for their friends. These are something the young people in tha past can not do. So at this point, the young people live in today are more likely to help others than their predecessors in the past.
In addition. I am always surprised how powerful the mordern media are.Thanks to the powerful media and press. The good spirit,which is the willing to help others , are always praised.Have you ever heard a boy jumped into the warter to save the babies? Have you ever you heard a girl donated her money to the senior who lost their family? If you did so, I think you will be as touched as I am. These reports pose an dramatic influence on everybody, especially young people.They will learn to be willing to help others from all kinds of news paper, internet and the TV. Compared to the young in today, the young in the past will never have this opportunity to know the outside world. Even if they are kind-hearted, they will never affect others.So, The young in today are more likely to help others.
Last but not least.The young today,more often than not, are educated. they not only learn the academic subjects in the school but also learn the good spirit such as, honesty integrity and the willing to help others. Everyone might has this experience that teachers ask every four of five students work in a group and solve promblems to gether. It is a very good way for them to develop a habit to count on each other and help others. But the people in the past can not have the wide spread education.
From all aspect taken into consideration. I can draw the conclusion that the young in today are more likely to help others. They enjoy good education, responsible media and resources of knowledge. All these are necessary for them to develop the spirit and ability to help others. Even though the young in the past have to count each other to making a living. They did not have the advantages which today's young people enjoy.

45573asdasd

求求大家别让我玩单机论坛啊

晨依Jacqueline

求求大家别让我玩单机论坛啊

-- by 会员 45573asdasd (2012/12/5 18:08:36)

每天晚上10点左右队长会给大家分组哦！

45573asdasd

O了~

1369179610

Recently, A controversial issue has been brought into our eye-sight that whether the young today are more likely toohelp others than those in the past. What a good topic it is to remind the goodness in the bottom of hearts. For me, Even thought the young in the past also help others, I agree that young people in today's society are more incliened to help others. My reasons following will substantiate my opinion.
To begin with,the willingness to help others is based on the good capibility to help others. The young today enjoy this advantage.owing to the widespread internet and good resources of knowledge, young people,even the middle shcool students,acquire all kinds of knowledge easily. they know the digital products, they know Google maps which can lead the way for others and they know how to get the products on sale in E-buy for their friends. These are something the young people in tha past can not do. So at this point, the young people live intoday are more likely to help others than their predecessors in the past.
In addition. I am always surprised that how powerful the mordern media isare.Thanks to the powerful media and press. The good spirit,which is the willing to help others , are always praised.Have you ever heard a boy jumping into the warter to save the babies? Have you ever you heard a girl donatinged her money to the senior who lost their family? If you havedid so, I think you will be as touched as I am. These reports pose an dramatic influence on everybody, especially young people.They will learn to be willing to help others from all kinds of newspapers, internet and the TV. Compared to the young in today, the young in the past will never have this opportunity to know the outside world. Even if they are kind-hearted, they will never affect others.So, The young in today are more likely to help others.
Last but not least.The young today,more often than not, are educated. they not only learn the academic subjects in the school but also learn the good spirit such as honesty, integrity and self-scrificethe willing to help others. Everyone might has this experience that teachers ask every four of five students work in a group and solve promblems together. It is a very good way for them to develop a habit to count on each other and help others. But the people in the past can not have the wide spread education(the education in the past was not that wide-spread).
From all aspects taken into consideration. I can draw the conclusion that the young in today are more likely to help others. Because They enjoy good education, responsible media and resources of knowledge. All these are necessary for them to develop the spirit and ability to help others. Even though the young in the past have to count each other to making a living. They did not have the advantages which today's young people enjoy.

你写的很好！时时都在比较，思路很清晰，这点我得拜你为师。只是有些小错误，外加通篇的长句子会让考官觉得很累，要不要穿插一下短句子？

45573asdasd

哈哈拜师说不上，我以前就是上来不想直接写，导致分数不高。你说的我会注意的，我也觉得句子都太长。自己也累