重开一个作文贴

ykhjy

8.24  综合  TPO 22
The lecture talks about reasons why ethanol is a good replacement for gasoline. According to the lecture, the reasons listed in the reading passage to indicate that ethanol is not a good replacement are unconvincing and reasons are stated as follows.

First of all, the lecture suggests that although ethanol releases carbon dioxide, ethanol fuel can help to solve global warming. It is because ethanol is made from plants such as corn and those plants will absorb carbon dioxide as part of nutrients, so the carbon dioxide will be removed. Thus the first reason listed in the reading passage is disputed.

When it comes to the second reason that the production of ethanol will reduce the source of food for animals said in the reading passage, the lecture argues that actually ethanol is made from a part of plants that animals don’t eat and after producing the ethanol, the rest part of the plants can be food for animals.

Last but not the least, contrary to the reading passage, the lecture demonstrates that ethanol fuel will be able to compete with gasoline on price. Based on the lecture, aside from helps from tax subsidies support, the price of ethanol fuel can also be competing since with the increasing demand of ethanol fuel, the production of the fuel will also increase which will lead to a drop in price. Also, according to a study, if the production is 3 times greater, the price will drop 40 percent.

lemonyhu

The lecture mainly talks about there are not so many benefits to plant genetically modified trees as the reading passage said. According to the lecture, reasons are stated as follows.

First of all, the lecture（个人感觉啊，lecturer 更明确，但是lecture也没什么错~） points out that although genetically modified trees may be resistant to certain condition, it cannot guarantee the survival of these trees since there are many other environmental challenges exist. Besides, genetically modified trees are genetically more uniformed than nature trees, so if some changes such as climate change lead one genetically modified tree to die, all those trees will die. Thus the first benefit that genetically modified trees are more likely to survive than their unmodified counterparts mentioned in the reading passage is disputed.

When it comes to the second benefit in the reading passage that genetically modified trees can bring many economic benefits, the lecture argues that there are many hidden cost since the company who provides seeds of genetically modified trees will charge a lot from those who want to plant the trees. And by law, people have to pay the company every time they want to plant the trees.

Last but no the least, the lecture indicates that the use of genetically modified trees will do more damage to the wild trees instead of preventing overexploitation of wild trees as the reading passage said. It is because genetically modified trees grow more massive than nature trees and they will compete with the wild trees on some nature resources such as sunlight, soil nutrients, water and so forth.

写得好啊！点很全也没什么错误，所以实在是找不出来几个问题~~
学习学习~~！

ykhjy

8.25 综合  TPO 23
The lecture talks about reasons why three hypotheses stated in the reading passage to explain the decline of populations of the yellow cedar are not adequate. According to the lecture, the reasons are stated as follows.

First of all, the lecture indicates that the yellow cedar are much more resistant than other kinds of trees to insect parasites. For example, they can release a kind of chemicals which is toxic. So the healthy yellow cedar are unlikely to suffer from beetle. And if some yellow cedar are damaged by beetle, they are probably going to die originally because of its unhealth rather than the reason of beetle mentioned in the reading passage.

When it comes to the reason of brown bears listed in the reading passage, the lecture argues that while the yellow cedar exist all across the America, including mainland and island, bears don’t live in island. However, both the populations of the yellow cedar in mainland and island decrease, thus it cannot be the bears that lead to the decline.

Last but not the least, the lecture suggests that the third hypothesis that it is because the affected roots system of the yellow cedar that result in the decline is not convincing, either. According to the lecture, if it should blame the low temperatures, more yellow cedar living in high elevations where temperature is lower than low elevations should die; however, the truth is that more yellow cedar in the low elevations die. Therefore, the last hypothesis said in the reading passage is disputed.

pinkyhuayin

The lecture talks about reasons why ethanol is a good replacement for gasoline. According to the lecture, the reasons listed in the reading passage to indicate that ethanol is not a good replacement are unconvincing and reasons 这样两用两个reason 太歧义了，要换成不同的词，比如 theory，statement  are stated as follows.

First of all, the lecture suggests that although ethanol releases carbon dioxide, ethanol fuel can help to solve global warming. It is because ethanol is made from plants such as corn and those plants will absorb carbon dioxide as part of nutrients during growing process, so the carbon dioxide will be removed. Thus the first reason listed in the reading passage is disputed.

When it comes to the second reason said mentioned in the reading passage   that the production of ethanol will reduce the source of food for animals said in the reading passage 这个如果要加，放前面更合适, the lecture argues that actually ethanol is made from a part of plants that animals don’t eat and after producing the ethanol, the rest part of the plants can be food for animals.

这个段就一句话，呵呵，建议拆一拆吧。我现在也经常不小心就把句子写的特别长，这是个问题。虽然逻辑很清楚，但是。。。太长了确实有局限。比如拆简单点，就可以加写状语进去，而且逻辑更清晰。
这个part ，我当时还真没听出来捏。

Last but not the least, contrary to the reading passage, the lecture demonstrates that ethanol fuel will be able to compete with gasoline on price. Based on the lecture, aside from helps from tax subsidies support, the price of ethanol fuel can also be competing 这个词不对，做adj 是矛盾的 意思，如果做v 这里不通，还是用competitive 有竞争力的 since with the increasing demand of ethanol fuel, the production of the fuel will also increase which will lead to a drop in price. Also, to be specific ,具体而言 according to a study, if the production is 3 times greater, the price will drop 40 percent.


第二次和楼主互改了，握个手
楼主，你觉得你这个水平能不能得到good 呢？我是觉得不错，但还到不了满分
我觉着综合写作进入了瓶颈，怎么写也提高不了一样。没有努力方向啊，求讨论

pinkyhuayin

无意中看到上面那位同学给你高亮的这句

there are many other environmental challenges exist

there are。。。exist 两个动词了，不知道他是不是忘了指出来呢

ykhjy

8.26 综合 TPO24
The lecture mainly talks about reasons why the findings about remains of blood vessels, red blood cells and collagen matrix exposed from T.rex’s leg bone listed in the reading passage are unconvincing. According to the lecture, reasons are stated as follows.

First of all, the lecture indicates that the materials left in branching channels are not necessarily remains of blood vessels and they may be something else. It is said that bacteria lived in the hollows of bones after the animals died and the presence of the soft organic substance inside may be just the traces of residue of bacteria. Thus the first finding about the remains of blood vessels is disputed.

When it comes to the finding of remains of red blood cells based on the iron-filled spheres, the lecture argues that spheres probably have a very different origin. It is because researchers have found the identical iron-filled spheres in fossils other animals in the same place where includes fossils of primitive animals that didn’t have any blood cells when they were alive, so if sphere appear in organisms that did not have any red blood cells, the spheres cannot be the remains of red blood cells as the reading passage said. Based on the lecture, the spheres may be just pieces of reddish mineral.

Last but not the least, the lecture suggests that while T.rex lived million years ago, collagen in animals remains cannot last so long and collagen is more likely from another much more recent source. For example, since human skin contains collagen, the collagen may have come from the skin of the researchers who are handling the bone. Therefore, the finding about the collagen mentioned in the reading passage is refuted.

ykhjy

感谢批改！合作愉快哈~~  老实说 我们现在大概都有自己的模版了把。现在我觉得真是听力决定综合，我觉得主要是两个方面：1.搞清楚逻辑链，在文中体现出来攻击reading中的观点。2. 就是细节了，越详细越好。这俩弄好了，就是我觉得应该就有good 了

The lecture talks about reasons why ethanol is a good replacement for gasoline. According to the lecture, the reasons listed in the reading passage to indicate that ethanol is not a good replacement are unconvincing and reasons 这样两用两个reason 太歧义了，要换成不同的词，比如 theory，statement  are stated as follows.

First of all, the lecture suggests that although ethanol releases carbon dioxide, ethanol fuel can help to solve global warming. It is because ethanol is made from plants such as corn and those plants will absorb carbon dioxide as part of nutrients during growing process, so the carbon dioxide will be removed. Thus the first reason listed in the reading passage is disputed.

When it comes to the second reason said mentioned in the reading passage   that the production of ethanol will reduce the source of food for animals said in the reading passage 这个如果要加，放前面更合适, the lecture argues that actually ethanol is made from a part of plants that animals don’t eat and after producing the ethanol, the rest part of the plants can be food for animals.

这个段就一句话，呵呵，建议拆一拆吧。我现在也经常不小心就把句子写的特别长，这是个问题。虽然逻辑很清楚，但是。。。太长了确实有局限。比如拆简单点，就可以加写状语进去，而且逻辑更清晰。
这个part ，我当时还真没听出来捏。

Last but not the least, contrary to the reading passage, the lecture demonstrates that ethanol fuel will be able to compete with gasoline on price. Based on the lecture, aside from helps from tax subsidies support, the price of ethanol fuel can also be competing 这个词不对，做adj 是矛盾的 意思，如果做v 这里不通，还是用competitive 有竞争力的 since with the increasing demand of ethanol fuel, the production of the fuel will also increase which will lead to a drop in price. Also, to be specific ,具体而言 according to a study, if the production is 3 times greater, the price will drop 40 percent.


第二次和楼主互改了，握个手
楼主，你觉得你这个水平能不能得到good 呢？我是觉得不错，但还到不了满分
我觉着综合写作进入了瓶颈，怎么写也提高不了一样。没有努力方向啊，求讨论

-- by 会员 pinkyhuayin (2012/8/25 15:10:53)

陈喵喵holdon

8.25 综合  TPO 23
The lecture talks about reasons why three hypotheses stated in the reading passage to explain the decline of populations of the yellow cedar are not adequate. According to the lecture, the reasons are stated as follows.

First of all, the lecture indicates that the yellow cedar are much more resistant than other kinds of trees to insect parasites. For example, they can release a kind of chemicals which is toxic. So the healthy yellow cedar are unlikely to suffer from beetle（是不是有点单复数部分?）. And if some yellow cedar are damaged by beetle, they are probably going to die originally because of its unhealth rather than the reason of beetle mentioned in the reading passage.

When it comes to the reason of brown bears listed in the reading passage, the lecture argues that while the yellow cedar exist all across the（国家前面不能加冠词） America, including mainland and island, bears don’t live in island. However, both the populations of the yellow cedar in mainland and island decrease（这里both..and..的并列用这种顺序虽然能理解但是有点歧义,用the populations of yellow cedars in both mainland and island...是不是更明朗点?）, thus it cannot be the bears that lead to the decline.

Last but not the least, the lecture suggests that the third hypothesis that it is because the affected roots system of the yellow cedar that result in the decline is not convincing, either. According to the lecture, if it（这个it应该不是形式主语吧指代什么?） should blame the low temperatures, more yellow cedar living in high elevations where temperature is lower than low elevations should die; however, the truth is that more yellow cedar in the low elevations die. Therefore, the last hypothesis said in the reading passage is disputed.

-- by 会员 ykhjy (2012/8/25 14:57:21)

看到了你在下面总结的听力决定综合 cannot agree more!!!
读下来感觉逻辑很清楚！第一个论点里面的先综述再具体for example细节给人感觉特别清楚很好！
后来又去听了下,我确实有几个细节都听错了...内容上你更正确一些！
缺点的话觉得第一段有点单薄，是不是稍微交代下背景数量下降这个事情？

瓜瓜不瓜

8.26 综合 TPO24
The lecture mainly talks about reasons why the findings about remains of blood vessels, red blood cells and collagen matrix exposed from T.rex’s leg bone listed in the reading passage are unconvincing. According to the lecture, reasons are stated as follows.

First of all, the lecture indicates that the materials left in branching channels are not necessarily remains of blood vessels and they may be something else. It is said that bacteria lived in the hollows of bones after the animals died and the presence of the soft organic substance inside may be just the traces of residue of bacteria. Thus the first finding about the remains of blood vessels is disputed.（要是能提一下the remains of blood vessels is the evidence of  actual tissue 就更好了）

When it comes to the finding of remains of red blood cells based on the iron-filled spheres, the lecture argues that spheres probably have a very different origin. It is because researchers have found the identical iron-filled spheres in fossils other animals in the same place where includes fossils of primitive animals that didn’t have any blood cells when they were alive, so if sphere appear in organisms that did not have any red blood cells, the spheres cannot be the remains of red blood cells as the reading passage said. Based on the lecture, the spheres may be just pieces of reddish mineral.（给跪了！听得也太全了吧！！）

Last but not the least, the lecture suggests that while （as更好）T.rex lived（70） million years ago, collagen in animals remains cannot last so long and collagen is more likely from another much more recent source. For example, since human skin contains collagen, the collagen may have come from the skin of the researchers who are handling （现在进行时用在这里没有意义，一般现在时就行了）the bone. Therefore, the finding about the collagen mentioned in the reading passage is refuted.

妹纸，你太强大了。24这一篇，听得我挂了，一遍停下来写的发现和你的差距好大！

你这个是第一遍听的么？太厉害了！！加油！！

没有什么语法错误，句子写的也很流畅！！excellent！

ykhjy

感谢批改哈~  你的建议挺好滴

8.25 综合  TPO 23
The lecture talks about reasons why three hypotheses stated in the reading passage to explain the decline of populations of the yellow cedar are not adequate. According to the lecture, the reasons are stated as follows.

First of all, the lecture indicates that the yellow cedar are much more resistant than other kinds of trees to insect parasites. For example, they can release a kind of chemicals which is toxic. So the healthy yellow cedar are unlikely to suffer from beetle（是不是有点单复数部分?）. And if some yellow cedar are damaged by beetle, they are probably going to die originally because of its unhealth rather than the reason of beetle mentioned in the reading passage.

When it comes to the reason of brown bears listed in the reading passage, the lecture argues that while the yellow cedar exist all across the（国家前面不能加冠词） America, including mainland and island, bears don’t live in island. However, both the populations of the yellow cedar in mainland and island decrease（这里both..and..的并列用这种顺序虽然能理解但是有点歧义,用the populations of yellow cedars in both mainland and island...是不是更明朗点?）, thus it cannot be the bears that lead to the decline.

Last but not the least, the lecture suggests that the third hypothesis that it is because the affected roots system of the yellow cedar that result in the decline is not convincing, either. According to the lecture, if it（这个it应该不是形式主语吧指代什么?） should blame the low temperatures, more yellow cedar living in high elevations where temperature is lower than low elevations should die; however, the truth is that more yellow cedar in the low elevations die. Therefore, the last hypothesis said in the reading passage is disputed.

-- by 会员 ykhjy (2012/8/25 14:57:21)

看到了你在下面总结的听力决定综合 cannot agree more!!!
读下来感觉逻辑很清楚！第一个论点里面的先综述再具体for example细节给人感觉特别清楚很好！
后来又去听了下,我确实有几个细节都听错了...内容上你更正确一些！
缺点的话觉得第一段有点单薄，是不是稍微交代下背景数量下降这个事情？

-- by 会员 陈喵喵holdon (2012/8/26 20:23:43)