【写作小分队】prodliu 作文，欢迎拍砖啊，越多越好

daisyの小夢想

pro，我发现TPO12的综合我写过了，所以不重写了，等你写好我帮你改哈~

Crystaljoy

修改
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is often not a good thing to move to a new city
or a new country because of the lost of old friends?

Living in the modern society, one has to have a（删除，network直接当做V）network even though he or she decides to live alone. In the meantime, migration has become a notable demographic feature. Some are reluctant to migrate, worrying about losing old friends.（没看出前三句是怎么联系起来的？）However, in the midst of all technological advances and complexity of interpersonal relationship, that concern is a bit too much (unnecessary). I contend that moving to a new city has nothing to do with the loss of old friends.

One needs only observe（need only observe/ only needs to observe要么是跟can一样的情态v无变形，要么是实意动词有变形）the multiple ways and cutting-edge infrastructure by which information is being communicated to understand why the national boundary or oceans can by no means hinder our relationship. (Through observing…will one understand…) Dating（back to） 500 years ago when oceans were still insuperable/insurmountable obstacles,people’s friendship was largely determined geographically. Yet the oceans have now becoming highways that significantly shrunk the world in a way that perpetuates one’s friendship with others even when he moves to a new continent. (怎么把ocean比作highway? 又不是ocean将人与人之间联系起来了啊)

Nowadays, the world is tightened in a way that has no precedent. The global has witnessed the rise of social networking online (online social networking 社交网络), which among many technological advances most directly transforms the way friendship is formed and maintained. People share links, dairies, and videos online, meet friends who share the common interests and chat live（make new acquaintances with people who share the common interests 不要说碰面了吧，跟后面physical不吻合）, a phenomenon that obviates the need to make friends physically and to be concentrated about losing old friends as a consequence of migration. Despite a distance of thousands of miles away, one could still readily keep in touch with friends.

Besides, more insight into friendship substantiates my point as well. In essence, friendship refers not merely to physical relationship. Alternatively, except for that friends talk, play and travel together, people care about each other spiritually, an element that accounts for truly valuable friendship. In this sense, moving to a new country could at most reduce people’s physical, not （我总觉得你这个句子重心是前面的reduce people’s physical interaction，然后which指代它了。要不逗号去掉用 rather than ？）spiritual interaction, which is not limited by space or time.

To sum up, I disagree with the statement that moving to live in a new country threatens our old friendship in terms of （歧义啊，可以理解成 friendship in terms of. 改成，considering） the advanced communication technologies and the nature of friendship.






第一个论点是讲交友方式和设备多样化？我看的有点不清不楚的，感觉ocean论据很奇怪。第二三比较清晰了。

真的是感悟颇深啊，写的很深刻。

miss绿光

prod的作文好强悍！