Anthony Summer的写作贴~~~互帮互助共同进步啊!~~~~~求狠狠的批~~~~~????????????????????????????

AnthonySummer

Mary Maxwell Gates (born Mary Maxwell on July 5, 1929 – June 10, 1994) was an American businessperson. Gates served 18 years (1975–1993) on the University of Washingtonboard of regents. She was the first female president of King County’s United Way. ......and the first woman on the First Interstate Bank of Washington's board of directors. Mary's son Bill Gates is the co-founder of Microsoft.  
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Maxwell_Gates
他妈妈不是老师啦~
果然姐姐点评句句到位！偏题严重~无语了
长难句被你一说回过头以旁观者角度看，也看不大懂~
列子也太偏~
姐姐有什么写作长难句的好书推荐码?

AnthonySummer

10.6

Your job will have more effect on your happiness than the social life does.


My job will bring more happiness than the social life does. Meantime, Job is more important than the social life. It can bring me lots of money, but social cannot. Currently I am working for an investment company as a futures goods trader, and my daily life is really fascinating and dramatic.

Every day I will trade hundred tons of rubber goods. And I have one million budgets trade. In future trading industry, we can use financial leverage to hold another ninety percentage. It is meant one million dollars can influence ten million dollars. And five percentage gains or loss equal to a half million dollars. More important is all the profit or wastage happened less than thirty seconds. How exciting it is! My hormone will maintain a very high level when the opportunity coming, and my heart pumps huge amounts of oxygen to my brain so I am enjoying this clear. When I lost the market I will feel deeply depresses because sometimes it would equate to one year American average yearly salary. No other social life can bring me more happiness compares to my job.

Human was a social animal. When I was a teenager, I wished I can play and social all day long because I hated working on homework, and social was much more attractive and fascinate. Until this job changes my opinion of working because I even cannot stop thinking of investment in my spare time. That was all start from when I was a college student. When I was a freshman I start to think about a serious problem such as how to support myself at college, how to pay the expensive college tuition, and what kind of career I would pursue. Rethinking of human history, those memorable leader or businessman/businesswoman, or philanthropist. They are the history maker, benefit this world so much. I didn't want to become nobody. To become a millionaire and a great philanthropist was always my dream. The great entrepreneur, Warren Buffett, winner of the stock market is my final career goal.

I will ask myself every night. “Are you better today than you are yesterday?" and "What are we living for?" Are we born for social all day long or fighting for some goal?" My job, the future market trader, became the most happiness fount. I love enjoying the satisfaction of solving an overwhelming problem and make money from hard working.

AnthonySummer

TPO 16
The professor explained three aspects of the new guideline adopted in the United Kingdom. Each of which successfully support the question mentioned in the reading passage concerning valuable artifacts preservation, lacking in financial support, difficult to find a job in archaeology.
First, the professor point out that every old building will be examining the archaeologists to confirm whether it has historical value or interesting. This measure has proven very effective in addressing the first problem mentioned in the reading - builders often uncovered archaeologically valuable sites and not preserve the artifacts.
Second, the lecturer explained that Construction Company will pay for the initially discovering and examine, and later resolved place. The company can help resolved the archaeology. The reading passage gave the opposite view: The financial support for archaeological research was inadequate and changing government priorities brought about periodic reductions in funding.
The lecturer objects the final measure - difficult to have a career in archaeology. She point that the company will pay for the discovering of old construction. Reconstruction need researcher to exam the value, whether to preserve or not, write down the date. Finally the period of reconstruction will create lots of extra job opportunities.

AnthonySummer

10.7

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: The government and corporation should share all their scientific discoveries with other countries in the world?

I disagree that the government and corporation should share all their scientific discoveries with other countries in the world. Sometimes scientific discoveries can be modified to manufacture mass destruction of weapons.

Nuclear technology is a double-edged sword. American Dad would never share his whether civil or military nuclear technology with Iran, Iraq, North Korea or China, because he afraid those countries would use it with illegality. That was true. Understand civil nuclear technology can build a Nuclear Power Station for the benefit of civilization, simultaneous, if they have high concentrate U-235 can also be used to manufacture a nuclear bomb. Can we image what happen after Iran and Iraq have a nuclear weapon later after North-Korea, a small land area would have enough confidence to bargain with Super country - America! If Iraq has a nuclear weapon, then the Iraq war would not happen, instead of World War Three.

Developed country would never trade with developing country on high tech discoveries. Because this world would never fair. With the globalization of the economy. Once most of American cheap clothes and shoes were made in China. With the increase price of human labor and stronger of China's economic and science. Nowadays tendency was i-phone was made in China. But still other developing country's cheap labor were providing America cheap and raw material like clothes or iron. Because we all know once developing country controls the technique of manufacture air-plane or air-space. Will they still provide us cheap clothes?

This world still have noble people willing to share their skill such as Harvard University, Yale University. They are already public some of most popular course with the rest of human. They provided us a chance to learn precious knowledge from the best teacher in the world. But still at very basic area like economic class and mathematics class.

Scientific discoveries were an invisible wall stand between a wealthy country and a developing country. Government and corporation would never share their money making tool with the rest countries in the world.

AnthonySummer

把这篇听写了6次，才做题目的~因为感觉目前最需提升的是题目的理解和professor叙述的方式结构，和获取信息的准确性，然后好好练几篇模板。
TPO 17
Professor  explain three aspects of population reducing of birds, each of which has successfully addressed the problems mentioned in the reading passage concerning that increase of human population reduced bird's habitats, growth using of agriculture land and chemical pesticides prevent birds' reproduction.
First, the professor pointed out that urban development actually provides better and larger habitats for birds. Pigeons and seagulls can be found in the city, even eagles and falcons can be found. This measure has proven effective in addressing the first problem in the reading - traditional areas suitable for birds keep decreasing.
Lately the lecturer explained that increase of agricultural land and production will provide varieties of crops and more food. As a result of this, the second problem in the passage concerning that bird populations in rural areas will continue to decline has been significantly addressed.
The professor's last point concerned the final problem raised in the reading material that pesticides have significantly contributed to declines in bird population and this decline will continue. She argued that a growing trend to use and develop more pest resistant crops will reduce the need for chemical pesticides and don't harm birds at all.

chengzaaaa

你每天都写的好神速！！！你独立都是卡在30min写的吗？
我拖延症需拯救啊！！！

阿伦艾弗森

I disagree that the government and corporation should share all their scientific discoveries with other countries in the world. （这种开头可能更常用于口语吧，建议间接一点，转折，让步什么的也很好）Sometimes scientific discoveries can be modified to manufacture mass destruction of weapons. （最好写清楚是什么样子的scientific discoveries，具体一点，因为不是所有的discoveries都可以改成weapon）

Nuclear technology is a double-edged sword. American Dad would never share his whether civil or military nuclear technology with Iran, Iraq, North Korea or China, because he afraid(was afraid of)those countries would use it with illegality.(这个词不是很恰当 建议改为 its bad effect) That was true. Understand（understanding）civil nuclear technology can build a Nuclear Power Station for the benefit of civilization, simultaneous, if they havehigh concentrateU-235 can also be used to manufacture a nuclear bomb. Can we image what (will)happen after Iran and Iraq have a nuclear weapon later after North-Korea,(建议重启一句) a small land area would have enough confidence to bargain with Super country - America! If Iraq has a nuclear weapon, then the Iraq war would not happen, instead of World War Three.
（上一段没有主题句，且逻辑联系不紧密。）
Developed country would never trade with(share with好些) developing country on high tech discoveries. Because this world would never fair .(有一个连词的句子得有两个谓语) With the globalization of the economy.(这个不能构成句子)Once most of American cheap clothes and shoes were made in China. With the increase price of human labors and stronger of China's economic and science.(同样不能构成句子)Nowadays tendency was i-phone was made in China.（一个句子不能有两个谓语） But still other developing country's cheap labor were providing America cheap and raw material like clothes or iron. Because we all know once developing country controls the technique of manufacture air-plane or air-space. Will they still provide us cheap clothes? （这一段我认为跑题了）

This world still have noble people willing to share their skill such as Harvard University, Yale University. （people不能是大学）They are already public（provide）some of (the)most popular courseswith the rest of human.(us就好) They provided us a chance to learn precious knowledge from the best teachers in the world. But(but, and 这样的连词不要写在一句话的开头，不地道)still at very basic area like economic class and mathematics class.
（欲转折时，需要强调的内容是重点，你的重点不突出，且这一段没有主题句）
Scientific discoveries were an invisible wall stand between a wealthy country and a developing country. Government and corporation would never share their money making tool with the rest countries in the world.

1.题目是同不同意share所有的科学发现，你过多注重与写不会强国share，这两个概念还是有拆别的。
2.注意连词问题（很重要！）
3.逻辑不是非常缜密，有的句子写的很抽象
4.主题句和段落中心表现的不明显

一点拙见，望共同进步，一起探讨~！

AnthonySummer

Tpo 18
The lecture and the reading passage hold completely different view toward reestablish Torreya in the same location, mover Torreya to an entirely different location or preserve Torreya in research centers.

Firstly, the professor mentions that original place's micro-climate already change because of the global warming, it is impossible to Torreya tree would have the environment to survive. The passage mention that Torreya used to be found in abundance inside Florida area, but that become history.

Lately, the passage suggest moving Torreya to an entirely different location far from its Florida microclimate because its seeds have been successfully planted and growth somewhere. But she point that this action will lead to making a native tree in danger even extinct.

Finally, to preserve Torreya in research center for preserved, research and protect. She object to it because Torreya trees might not be able to resist diseases in a stable environment, because it needs large population and genetically diverse. So nature is best for Torreya trees.

dreamcece

Professor  explains/ed three aspects of population reducing of birds,这句话说的不清楚，什么是减少鸟的三个方面？ each of which has successfully been addressed the problems mentioned in the reading passage concerning that increase of human population reduced bird's habitats, growth using of agriculture land and chemical pesticides prevent birds' reproduction. 还是这个问题，你为什么老是想用一句话说完n多个意思呢？你看你这一句完全顶得了一段了。
First, the professor pointed out that the urban development actually provides better and larger habitats for birds. Pigeons and seagulls can be found in the city, even eagles and falcons can be found. This measure has proven effective in addressing the first problem in the reading - traditional areas suitable for birds keep decreasing.
Lately the lecturer explained that increase of agricultural land and production will provide varieties of crops and more food. As a result of this, the second problem in the passage concerning that bird populations in rural areas will continue to decline has been significantly addressed.
The professor's last point concerned the final problem raised in the reading material that pesticides have significantly contributed to 吹毛求疵的说，contribute to一般指好的因素造成的影响，不过这个问题比较小。declines in bird population and this decline will continue. She argued that a growing trend to use and develop more pest resistant crops will reduce the need for chemical pesticides and don't harm birds at all.总的来说，回答的结构不错，每一点也言之有物，肯定是认真听写了的。问题： 有一些表达不清，在于用词精准上，长句运用上的硬伤比较大。
进步：用了关联词，如as a result...之类的 ，以及模板中的经典表达。这些词非常有效，建议anthony以后的习作中多运用。

AnthonySummer

tpo 19

The lecture and the reading passage hold completely different view toward buzzing advertisement, point it will hide the truth of the product, harm consumers' feeling and loss trust between people.

First, the student hold opinion that what you heard from the buzz is just paid advertising, which may well give a person incorrect information about the buzzed product, the student point out that the company hired him to buzz the phone call service is because he is really like the service. He wants everyone knows how good this service is.

The second problem in the reading concerning those buzzers will pretend to be private individuals that will make consumer less critically about the empty descriptions. The student hold opposite opinion, customer will ask lots of question such as price, quality of the buzzed product.

The student point out the concern that the final problem raised in the reading material - people we meet socially may be buzzers with a hidden agenda, and we will become less trustful of people. Buzz will spread of mistrust and the expectation of dishonesty. He argued that a company with a bad product will not hire a buzzer. Consumers will not trust you If you only use simple words to describe the product and not sincere. If consumer loves the product you buzzed, and have good experience, customers will tend to be more trustful and open to people.