gre呀gre的作文~ 非NN~请不要大意的狠拍吧！

超级无敌小鹤鹤

噗呲。。。睡了半小时没睡着。。。("▔□▔)

超级无敌小鹤鹤

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement. Parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes.

Have you ever succeeded in cooking a meal all by yourself? Have you ever tried to live alone without an accompany(a company...accompany素动词哟亲！)? Have you ever found a new way to solve a problem?(这个开头不错滴，不过有个问题，顺序可能要稍微换一下~~~建议先solve a problem，再live alone without a company，最后succeeded in cooking a meal，相对的从简单到难~) If you have never experienced these, on no account will you understand the importance of learning from your own mistakes. (have是大杀器咩？ o(*≧▽≦)ツ)

At the very beginning, since some experiences cannot be get directly from books, such as cooking,  accumulating experiences from one’s(our) own mistakes means a lot. To set myself as an example,(用句号把这儿隔开吧~~ 省的粗线my parents作为前面to set的逻辑主语的尴尬~) my parents always allow me to make mistakes when I am interested in something(这儿，when，不是你感兴趣的时候允许你犯错，而是你做你感兴趣的事情的时候允许你犯错，所以不妨改成 when I want to do something I feel an interest in). When(Once，前面已经有个when了，这个避免重复最好不要用~~) I tried to cook a fish and almost burnt it, my father just smiled to me and help me to clean it up without any blame. Ater(After) trying again and over again, I finally figured out that the fish should be put into the oil when(这儿我不是很肯定，但是我觉得用before比用when在逻辑上好像更加的合适~) there is little smog around. Only by reading a book telling me that 150 centigrade of the oil is the right temperature, never can I(how can I，第一段结尾已经用过类似手法了，这儿换一个~) be succeed since I cannot put my hand into the oil to feel it.

In addition, there is no denying that a child learning from mistakes will be more dependent and brave, especially when he handles the consequence well. Just image a man attending to collage that has to live on his own but is not able to owing to no chance for him to make mistakes when he was young(亲，我彻底被你打败了。。。这句话我读了5遍才终于看懂了。。。这个。。。owing to不是很好，容易理解成be not able to owing to，所以你不妨改成这样的：Image a man attending to collage that has to live on his own but is not able to just because of limited chance to make mistakes when he was young). So less experienced is he that he is too afraid of making everything to mess to live alone. That is the reason why learning from mistakes is an important experience.

What is more, the(another) advantage of learning from one’s own mistakes is to be creative. Learning from mistakes is not only about to accumulate experience to not to touch it(用avoid touching it again会更好~~~) but also about to come up with some ideas to fix it. Without creativity, Edison could not upgrade the bulb; Bell was not able to invent the telephone; and the Apple could not have been such a super successful company. That is to say, the more creative one is, the more colorful life he will enjoy(这个纯个人感觉哈~~~ 似乎去掉多余成分后更有哲理的感觉~~~).

To draw a conclusion, I cannot emphasize the advantage of parents’(one's doing sth，所以parents后面加一撇) letting children to make mistakes and to learn from them too much owing to more experience, more courage and more creativity.(这一句话中emphasize的内容很长，所以我觉得用一个形式宾语效果会更好~~ eg：To draw a conclusion, I cannot emphasize it too much owing to more experience, more courage and more creativity that parents should let their children to make mistakes and to learn from these mistakes.)

hjl80959

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结或模板红色为错误

Have you ever succeeded in cooking a meal all by yourself? Have you ever tried to live alone without an accompany（a companion 这个没法做名词）? Have you ever found a new way to solve a problem?（这个句话表达什么？不连贯 have you ever confused with a thorny problem？） If you have never experienced these, on no account will you understand the importance of learning from your own mistakes.
排比的递进关系没有出来
At the very beginning, since some experiences cannot be get（obtained bestowed） directly from books, such as cooking, accumulating experience from one’s own mistakes means a lot. To set myself as an example, my parents always allow me to make mistakes when I am interested in something. When I tried to cook a fish and almost burnt it, my father just smiled to me and help me to clean up. Ater trying again and over again, I figure out that the fish should be put into the oil when there is little smog around. Only by reading a book telling me that 150 centigrade of the oil is the right temperature, never can I be succeed since I cannot put my hand into the oil to feel it.
这个例子没有什么问题扣题了
In addition, there is no denying that child learning from mistakes will be dependent and brave, especially when he handles the consequence well. Just image a man attending to collage that has to live on his own but is not able to owing to no chance for him to make mistakes when he was young （这句话表达的不清楚， just image strange environment in college urges students, having not prepared for the independent campus life, to do things by their own）. So less experienced is he that he is too afraid of making everything to mess to live alone. That is the reason why learning from mistakes is an important experience.
这个例子也没有什么问题，错误让我们独立是不是没有说清楚？
What is more, the advantage of learning from one’s own mistakes is to be creative （the advantage of mistakes is to stimulate one’s creativity ）. Learning from mistakes is not only about to accumulate experience to not to touch it（又不明白什么意思了。。） but also about to come up with some idea to fix it. Without creativity, Edison could not upgrade bulb; Bel was not able to invent telephone; and the Apple could not have been a super successful company. That is to say, the more creative one is, the more colorful life he will enjoy.

To draw a conclusion, I cannot emphasize the advantage of parents letting children to make mistakes and to learn from them too much owing to more experience, more courage and more creativity.

还是那个问题长句子写的不清楚，虽然不是单词用的复杂就好，但是你的很多简单的单词凑起来表达的并不流畅，文章写了学习错误的好处，可是貌似把父母丢了

gre呀gre

9.1 agree or disagree,in order to be succeed,you should be more like others than be different from everyone else

Have you ever tried to quit the school like Bill Gates but end up with failure? Have you ever been stuck in your house without a hi-tech to use? Have you ever lost a competation which requires right your disadvantages? If you have never experienced such situation, never would you understand the importance of being unique. As far as I am concerned, therefore, people should not be more like others than be different from everyone else.

At the very beginning, each success cannot be copied since each has a different condition such as his own relationship, the money he owns or anything else. In other words, the successful experience may not be that suitable on you because people are born differently. To take Bill Gates, famous for his Microsoft company, as an example, he quit school to not waste the time of creating the personal computer to beat IBM. Besides, Buffett, one of the richest people among the world, stated to buy his first stock when he was 11. It is obvious that, however, few knows that Bill Gates’ mother is a director of IBM and Buffett’s father is a senator, which is a powerful background and few people owns. That is the reason why some experience cannot be copied.

In addition, there is no doubt that acting like the common may lead to less creativity. Colorful as the whole world is, we still need something new to change the world to be more convenient. Without creativity, ancient people would never learn to use fire; Martin Luther King would never give the famous speech I Have a Dream but keeping tolerating instead; the designers would never come up with the fashionable clothes and everyone may dress similarly as a result; and we would never enjoy the convenience brought by the hi-tech. Hence, I cannot emphysize the importance of creativity too much.

What is more, each one can sparkle in various fields due to the different gifts given by God and DNA, which means a man should enhance his own advantages and avoid his disadvantages. For example, I used to be a team leader to make a movie in a competition. In my team, Yuan was assigned to write the copywriting owing to her advantage in literature while another man Yang was charged with the mission of making a schedule and timeline because of his logical thought. As for me, I was the producer since l was familiar with the software. Finally, our movie was the top 5 in my collage.

In a nutshell, I maintain that in order to succeed, people should act differently with others due to the different backgrounds, creativity, and various gifts.

婷婷connie

gre,婷婷木有看到你2号的作文啊
9.2 独立
第一次改gre的文章啊~

红色错误，蓝色讨论，高亮精彩
it is better to relax by a movie or reading a book than doing physical exercise.Do you agree or disagree

When it comes to the topic that which is better to relax, watching a movie and reading a book or doing physical exercise, opinions vary among people with different backgrounds. Some hold the view that watching a movie or reading a book is better since people are too tired to doing（do）sports. Unfortunately, it seems that they fail to figure out which is more tired. As it for me(没有见过这个用法，只有as for me/ as to me,求解释), I take an opposite note that doing sports helps people to relax better for three reasons listed as follows.

First and foremost, people under pressure are more tired（tend to be more exhausted/weary） in mental rather than in physical, especially for the white-colors sitting in their cubes from day to night. Right these ones are lack of doing some sports to release their hearts from work. To take myself as an example, when I was busy preparing for my final and felt exhausted, all I want to do was just freeing my brain and thinking of nothing. Relaxing by reading a book or watching a movie could only drive me crazy. In contrast, sweating(in) the gym conversely relieved the stress on me those days.

In addition, there is no doubt that winning in the sports a man good at(mastered by a man) will definitely bring achievements(sense of achievement) to him and sweep frustration brought by work and study. In this way, achievements means more than just relax(relaxation). Nonetheless, watching a moive（movie） or reading a book may deepen the frustration since sometimes the soul inside the moive and book are too abstruse to grasp, which will leads（lead） to a contrary result to relax. Statistics from the magazine Vista shows that over 70 percent people admit that they cannot understand a moive or a book well when they feel tired and more than 80 percent of them will be more fidgeted.

Besides, considering the concerns mentioned above that people may be tired physically, just chatting in the gym and making friends with them is also an excellent way to relax. What is more, when jogging in the park ,so much beauties are there to help you relax, such as feeling the breeze sweeping(这个词有点不恰当，用blow吧) the face, enjoying the birds’ singing while jogging, immersing the smelling of flowers and grass and anything else offered by the nature. （这一段描写很生动，不错！）Such beings are always there to remind you how comfortable you are now.

In a nutshell, comparing with watching a movie or reading a book, I maintain that doing physical exercise is better to（should be taken preponderance over） relax owing to the relax on mental, the achievements brought by winning, and the beauties in and out of gym.



Conclusion:

1.喜欢gre的动词，很生动

2.注意同义的替代~

3.观点很有说服力

gre呀gre

9.2 独立

it is better to relax by a movie or reading a book than doing physical exercise.Do you agree or disagree

When it comes to the topic that which is better to relax, watching a movie and reading a book or doing physical exercise, opinions vary among people with different backgrounds. Some hold the view that watching a movie or reading a book is better since people are too tired to doing sports. Unfortunately, it seems that they fail to figure out which is more tired. As it for me, I take an opposite note that doing sports helps people to relax better for three reasons listed as follows.

First and foremost, people under pressure are more tired in mental rather than in physical, especially for the white-colors sitting in their cubes from day to night. Right these ones are lack of doing some sports to release their hearts from work. To take myself as an example, when I was busy preparing for my final and felt exhausted, all I want to do was just freeing my brain and thinking of nothing. Relaxing by reading a book or watching a movie could only drive me crazy. In contrast, sweating the gym conversely relieved the stress on me those days.

In addition, there is no doubt that winning in the sports a man good at will definitely bring achievements to him and sweep frustration brought by work and study. In this way, achievements means more than just relax. Nonetheless, watching a moive or reading a book may deepen the frustration since sometimes the soul inside the moive and book are too abstruse to grasp, which will leads to a contrary result to relax. Statistics from the magazine Vista shows that over 70 percent people admit that they cannot understand a moive or a book well when they feel tired and more than 80 percent of them will be more fidgeted.

Besides, considering the concerns mentioned above that people may be tired physically, just chatting in the gym and making friends with them is also an excellent way to relax. What is more, when jogging in the park ,so much beauties are there to help you relax, such as feeling the breeze sweeping the face, enjoying the birds’ singing while jogging, immersing the smelling of flowers and grass and anything else offered by the nature. Such beings are always there to remind you how comfortable you are now.

In a nutshell, comparing with watching a movie or reading a book, I maintain that doing physical exercise is better to relax owing to the relax on mental, the achievements brought by winning, and the beauties in and out of gym.

fuzhengrui

gre呀gre

9.3 独立

Do you agree that it is better to spend money on traveling and vacation than save money for the future.

Have you ever tried to witness the Spainish passion lively? Hve you ever made everything in perfect order all by yourself? Have you ever solved a problem with the experience beyond book? If you have never experienced such sense of accomplishiment, never will you understand the importance of travelling in vacations. Hence, as far as I am concerned, I hold the view that, comparing with saving money for the future, spending money on travelling and vacation is a better way dealing with money.

At the very beginning, there exits no doubt that travelling in various places will certainly bring a man an expanded outlook, which cannot be bought by tens of money directly. Everyone deserves a better life through money instead of being a person that haggles over every ounce on the messes or judges others just based on his own views. Just image the passion of matador in Spain, the smile of gentleman in England, the smell of sakura in Japan, the mystery of pyramid in Egypt, the wildness of lions in Zambia, and everything else in the colorful world, which remind you the beauties at every corner of the world and give you the courage to forgive others, not for their mistakes, but for the effort they tried to make up.

Furthermore, travelling, more than just spending money, is about make everything in order all by yourself. The ability deep inside of travelling is independent. To set myself as an example, last year I travelled to Beijing alone. I did mass of preparation before travelling such as working out the tour route, booking a hotel and round-trip ticket, drawing a map and everything. After the trip, I dumped the old dependent me and greeted a new independent me, a new girl more welcomed among people.

What is more, despite the concern that poor deposit cannot cope with some emergency, people with a broad mind and trained abilities are more likely to find a job with a high salary, which do get rid of the concern. Such person can save money in a more rapid speed. Just as a joke tells that if Bill Gates wants to buy a Lamborgihini, the only thing he needs to do is just waiting for three seconds, so do we. Therefore, I cannot emphasize the importance of a higher speed of making money too much, which can be brought by the investment via travelling and vacation.

In a nutshell, I maintain that it is more significant to spend money on travelling and vacations than to save money for the future owing to a broader mind, a more independ personal quality, and a wiser investment of saving money rapidly.

婷婷connie

9.3独立改文
9.3 独立
嘿嘿，来罗~
Do you agree that it is better to spend money on traveling and vacation than save money for the future.

Have you ever tried to witness the Spainish（Spanish） passion lively? Hve（have） you ever made everything in perfect order all by yourself? Have you ever solved a problem with the experience beyond book?（这开头段的气势，帅呆了） If you have never experienced such sense of accomplishiment(accomplishment), never will you(倒装好) understand the importance of travelling(traveling)in vacations. Hence, as far as I am concerned, I hold the view that, comparing with saving money for the future, spending money on travelling and vacation is a better way dealing with money.

At the very beginning, there exits no doubt that travelling in various places will certainly bring a man an expanded outlook, which cannot be bought by tens of（这里是神马意思，多还是少捏？） money directly. Everyone deserves a better life through money instead of being a person that haggles over every ounce on the messes or judges others just based on his own views. Just image the passion of matador in Spain, the smile of gentleman in England, the smell of sakura in Japan, the mystery of pyramid in Egypt, the wildness of lions in Zambia,(遐想，好想去啊)and everything else in the colorful world, which remind you the beauties at every corner of the world and give you the courage to forgive others（这里有点指代不明）, not for their mistakes, but for the effort they tried to make up.

Furthermore, travelling, more than just spending money, is about make（making） everything in order all by yourself. The ability deep inside of travelling is independent. To set myself as an example, last year I travelled to Beijing alone. I did mass of preparation before travelling(出现了各种traveling,这里用trip吧~)such as working out（design更好一些~work out适合去解决一个问题） the tour route, booking（making a reservation for）a hotel and round-trip ticket, drawing a map and everything. After the trip, I dumped the old dependent me and greeted a new independent me, a new girl more welcomed among people.

What is more, despite the concern that poor depositscannot cope with some emergency(emergencies), people with a broad mind and trained abilities are more likely to find a job with a high salary, which do get rid of the concern. Such person can save money in a more rapid speed. Just as a joke tells that if Bill Gates wants to buy a Lamborgihini(兰博基尼是Lamborghini啦^o^), the only thing he needs to do is just waiting for three seconds, so do we. Therefore, I cannot emphasize the importance of a higher speed of making money too much, which can be brought by the investment via travelling and vacation.（这一段说理不太有说服力，用能挣很多钱来攻击poor deposits，感觉逻辑欠佳，因为他挣得多也会花得多啊，如果不花就不会存在poor deposits的问题。如果要往最后一句话靠，建议gre给一个例子，通过traveling and vacation投资挣钱的例子）

In a nutshell, I maintain that it is more significant to spend money on travelling and vacations than to save money for the future owing to a broader mind, a more independ(independent) personal quality, and a wiser investment of saving money（这里婷婷没有看出二者的关系，投资怎么能save money呢？） rapidly.



Conclusion：

1.表达方面很好，积累了好多素材，要不就是旅游经历丰富啦

2.让步段的说理还要加强，建议如上~

3.婷婷也超喜欢写让步段的手法，多练哦

chasedreamabc

9.4 独立

agree/disagree：an efficient leader will always try to make everyone feel that he's in part of a decision making

Have you ever been occurred by tons of inspirations? Have you ever enjoyed the sense of belonging in a team? Have you ever been amazed by a originality in a copywriting? If you have never experienced such situation, never will you understand the pleasure of being part of the decision making. (昨天被夸了好开森！窝决定以后就用这个模板了o(*￣▽￣*)ゞ ) Therefore, I hold the view that as a efficient leader, he should always bring his team members the feeling that each of them is in part of a decision making.

At the very beginning, there is no denying that no one can be more familiar with an individual than himself be. That is to say, nothing is more efficient than to finish the task a man is expert in. Since God and DNA offer everyone various gifts, which the leader may not be aware of, the employees can ask for the tasks that fit them. When a man working with something he is good at or interested in, the occurrence of inspirations can encourge him to keep working energetically in spite of staying up simply for the wild joy from achievements. With such passion and professional skills, the whole team will access a better accomplishment contributed by each team members during a short period.

Furthermore, I cannot emphysize the importance of being part of the decision making owing to the raising awareness of ownership instead of widening the gap between an employee and his team. Many famous companies can proof such idea perfectly such as Google and Yahoo. Leaders in Google authorize their employees to decorate their cubes and such styles make them feel that works offer them both tasks and cares. As for Yahoo, the leaders locate a suggestion box to encourage the staff to have more suggestions and thus participant in the decision making. Working in these companies, the employees will work more hard due to the feeling of working for themselves rather than working for the company.

What is more, the more a person participant in the decision making, the more creativity will the team enjoy. To take myself as an example, I used to be a team leader in a competition of the creativity of E-commerce. Our system provided the buyers and the sellers a platform to exchange their needs. In my team, the woman in charge of the marketing part superised me with all her inspirations reflected in all the new methods of marketing. Thanks to the marketing part, we won the prize in our collage.

In a nutshell, despite the concern that the employees with less experence in decision making may make even worse, the famous proverb failure teaches success is the best refutation. Hence, I maintain that it is wise for an efficient leader to welcome his team into decision making because of more proficiency, more sense of belonging, and more creativity.