新人报道，求指导！！！

lihaolan · 发表于 2013-4-18 11:21:17

4.17独立
In present society, as the education plays increasingly significant roles in people's life which not only promotes the development of individual but also dramatically facilitates the progress of our society, government tends to provide sufficient money to schools. Meanwhile, the issue how the schools are supposed to make use of funds has triggered intense discussion. Some people insist that schools should utilize the expenditure to support social activities which enables students to have more colorful leisure time as well as acquire a lot of knowledge. However, they fail to take into account the importance of meals which is related to students' most basic need. Thus, I cannot share the argument that supporting the social activities is superior to focusing money on the schools' meals.
First and foremost, although the social activities exert profound impacts on students’ future, spending money on students' meals is still more essential. Assume that students starve almost every day, I would be hard-pressed to imagine that they can genuine be absorbed in the social activities. As is known to us, the meal offers people the energy that they need to conduct the social activities. Once people are hungry, they will suffer great difficulty to concentrate on their daily work, not to mention attending the social activities. If schools don't spend the expenditure on the students' meals, students may be reluctant to participate in the social activities owing to the hunger.
Further, there is no denying that having a good meal contributes to the good health, especially during the formative age. The students who are still in the formative age need a lot of energy to support their daily life and activities. If they are devoid of the nutrient, they have a great tendency to suffer a various diseases due to the subtle immune system. A recent survey conducted by Boston University indicates that youngsters who always face the starvation are more likely to be ill when they grow up. Also, the research points out that these youngsters may be thin and short because of lacking the nutrient which impedes their well-rounded development.
Last but not least, by spending more money on students' meals, it benefits more students. It is widely acknowledged that it is impossible for every student to attend the social activities even if our society has made extraordinary progress. Thus, supporting social activities just benefit a proportion of students while other students cannot enjoy the benefits of the schools' expenditure. In contrast, every student is bound to have meal every day. The money spent on meals can be enjoyed by each student indiscriminately. Thus, it is more justifiable and reasonable.
Admittedly, the social activities enable students to put the theory into practice as well as improve their practical skills. However, the meal is the cornerstone of students' life. Without having a good meal, students definitely will be confronted with myriad troubles and suffer great deficiency. Thus, it is more feasible to use money to improve students' meals.

kellyzhou0000 · 发表于 2013-4-18 14:40:10

In present society, as the education plays increasingly significant roles in people's life which not only promotes the development of individual but also dramatically facilitates the progress of our society, government tends to provide sufficient money to schools. Meanwhile, the issue how the schools are supposed to make use of funds has triggered intense discussion. Some people insist that schools should utilize the expenditure to support social activities which enables （enable） students to have more colorful leisure time as well as acquire a lot of knowledge. However, they fail to take into account the importance of meals which is related to students' most basic need. Thus, I cannot share the argument that supporting the social activities is superior to focusing money on the schools' meals.
First and foremost, although the social activities exert profound impacts on students’ future, spending money on students' meals is still more essential. Assume that students starve almost every day, I would be hard-pressed to imagine that they can genuine be absorbed in the social activities. As is known to us, the meal offers people the energy that they need to conduct the social activities. Once people are hungry, they will suffer great difficulty to concentrate on their daily work, not to mention attending the social activities. If schools don't spend the expenditure on the students' meals, students may be reluctant to participate in the social activities owing to the hunger.
Further, there is no denying that having a good meal contributes to the good health, especially during the formative age. The students who are still in the formative age need a lot of energy to support their daily life and activities. If they are devoid of the nutrient, they have a great tendency to suffer a various diseases due to the subtle immune system. A recent survey conducted by Boston University indicates that youngsters who always face the starvation are more likely to be ill when they grow up. Also, the research points out that these youngsters may be thin and short because of lacking the nutrient which impedes their well-rounded development.
Last but not least, by spending more money on students' meals, it benefits more students. It is widely acknowledged that it is impossible for every student to attend the social activities even if our society has made extraordinary progress. Thus, supporting social activities just benefit a proportion of students while other students cannot enjoy the benefits of the schools' expenditure. In contrast, every student is bound to have meal every day. The money spent on meals can be enjoyed by each student indiscriminately. Thus, it is more justifiable and reasonable.
Admittedly, the social activities enable students to put the theory into practice as well as improve their practical skills. However, the meal is the cornerstone of students' life. Without having a good meal, students definitely will be confronted with myriad troubles and suffer great deficiency. Thus, it is more feasible to use money to improve students' meals.
楼主的论点提的很好，看了楼主的文，觉得我的文跑题了....... 语言很流畅，用词贴切，我这水平貌似改不出什么错了。什么时候我能写成这样啊~
就是Thus用的很多，可以换着用其他吧？不知提的合适不，仅供参考~

lihaolan · 发表于 2013-4-19 12:57:01

4.18独立
Everyone has a craving for a delightful vacation, especially in modern society which imposes enormous pressure on people. Meanwhile, the issue what is the indispensable part of an enjoyable vacation has triggered intense discussion. Some people attach great importance to the food, which they think will bring them the sense of contentment. Some other people give priority to the location because they are reluctant to go to remote place with little landscape. However, personally, good friends exert more profound impact on the vacation because they not only help you to make a perfect plan for the vacation but also share you with the happiness and solve problems for you during the trip.
First and foremost, although the food and location, to some extent, affect the enjoyment of the vacation, without good friends people are unlikely to enjoy their trip even with the good food and good location. At the beginning of the vacation, people may ignore the significance of friends. However, gradually, they will detect that they become inevitably lonely owing to nobody accompanying them. With the help of friends, people can come up with the considerate plan for traveling, which includes where they will live, what spots they will visit. If people organize the vacation by themselves, it will be arduous and have a great tendency to make mistakes, which dramatically influence the quality of vacation.
Further, there is no denying that during the vacation people are bound to come into with a number of troubles. Most commonly, people tend to be lost on the way to the spots. If people go to vacation alone, they have to combat troubles by themselves. But in the unfamiliar place, it is impossible for everyone to grapple with the difficulties efficiently, thereby impeding people to have a delightful vacation. In contrast, traveling with good friends, they can not only reassure you but also put forwards some feasible suggestions. As is known to us, the efforts of several people are superior to one's own efforts.
Last but not least, the main objective to having a vacation is to alleviate the daily pressure and keep a good mood. It is widely acknowledged that having vacation with friends can be more enjoyable because people can share their feeling of the vacation, the happiness, excitement and stimulation so on. By talking with friends, it enables people to enlarge their enjoyment. A recent survey conducted by Peking University indicates that sharing the happiness with people prompts happiness to last longer than keeping it alone. What's more, it is not uncommon that people have to spend a lot of time on the way to the spots. Being devoid of friends, people will feel extremely boring. But if people travel with good friends, they can come up with various methods to kill the time on the way.
Admittedly, delicious food and great location exert some effect on the enjoyable vacation. However, traveling with good friends is bound to be more enjoyable, who not only offer people great help but also accommodate the emotional needs of people.

jay871750293 · 发表于 2013-4-20 16:21:39

LZ实在是抱歉，之前传的时候正好赶上快断网，以为传上了，今天整理文档的时候发现了之前的修改，来楼里check一下发现没传上，实在是不好意思，18号的文章现在才贴上来，太抱歉了....

不过，LZ的文章很给力呀~~
都飙到500了！！！
并且也没有什么错误，找了好久才找到几个小问题...

lihaolan · 发表于 2013-5-1 09:25:44

封楼了，最后作文28

lyslj001 · 发表于 2013-5-15 23:47:48

lihaolan 发表于 2013-5-1 09:25
封楼了，最后作文28

谢谢Haolan哥~

perfectends · 发表于 2013-5-17 20:03:58

我来膜拜下。。。

applesoforever · 发表于 2013-5-20 18:59:56

全程看了一遍。
到后面感受四个字：行云流水。

新人报道，求指导！！！

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