xiaxiaya的作文贴

FrancisEvens

xiaxiaya 发表于 2013-8-20 22:35
389不算长了童鞋^^。。。400~450正合适

倾海貌似把我的工作做了？？帮你改了20号的独立？？

xiaxiaya

FrancisEvens 发表于 2013-8-20 23:09
倾海貌似把我的工作做了？？帮你改了20号的独立？？

...他其实应该改我19号的。。改成20的了。
你再该改改吧？不同人可以发现不同问题~

FrancisEvens

8.20

Interesting as it might be, books and movies can only be the condiment for life. Real relaxing（感觉“真正的放松”不是这么表达） one's body is based on the factors, such as a positive emotion, a long-run healthy body condition as well as a suitable way to relax for different types of people. Therefore, in my opinion, doing sports is a better way than watching videos and reading books toget relaxed.

To begin with, even some people would wonder that how possible people can get relaxed by adding the physical pressure, such as doing exercises, on them,(句号） hitting gyms can actually activate people's body by （putting) a bit of physical pressure on them. Not only (it) can exercisesbe  highly intensive, but also it can be tight and relaxed. Some oxygen-sports (自己先给自己纠个错aerobic exercise，后面也都用错了), for example yoga or jogging, can push people less. In addition, oxygen-sports can increase the people's metabolismrate and their oxygen(oxygen input不能被increase,应该是吸入的量） input. According to the scientific research, higher metabolism rate and oxygen ingestion can real lessen people's muscle pressure and make people relaxed.（“can”这个词是不是使用过于频繁了呢）

Moreover, as we all known that doing sport can be benefit（benefitial) to the mental and physical health,(句号。前后是两个句子） healthy body condition ensures people's strength to persistent（自己纠错，resistant才是抵抗的意思） the pressures which are the resource of our tiring feelings. It（There) is no doubt that watching movies and doing some reading can slow down our space(楼主是不是想说pace) afterwork or study. But if we want to be less stressed out, enforcing our health is the only method that works.

Finally, watching movies and reading books are sometimes not suitable for students or the people who use eyes intensively in their work. Because watching movies and reading books can make their eyes more tied, which will do harm to their eyes. On the contrary, playing tennis, basketball, or football help those people relax their eyes as well asactivating their whole body, considering that the people who often use eyes also suffer sedimetay（自己纠错sedentary久坐的） habits. Not only can students and office people find the suitable type of exercises, but any kinds(every kind) of people can meet their tastes in the gyms or sports fields.

In conclusion, even though some people might be fond of movies or books as their relaxing ways, the exercise, whichc an relax and be benefit to all kinds of people in a long-run, is the best choice to relax ourselves(themselves) from the rapid and intensive pace of our lives.

lyslj001

tpo14综合修改新鲜出炉啦~
提高听力是王道！
并且求批改~~ http://forum.chasedream.com/thread-869676-4-1.html

xiaxiaya

The readingpassage presents an argument that not only the forest but the economy canbenefit from the salvage logging. But the professor in the listening lecturedisputes that the [url=]drawbacks[/url][A1] of the salvage logging might overshadow its short term gain, which isopposed to the reading passage. And she supports her point of view based on thefollowing reasons.

To begin with, even though the new trees need room for growth, [A2] it is not necessary to remove the dead trees for the new ones as theprofessor argues. She explains that the dead tree might be decomposedto add some nutrition into the soil [url=]which[/url][A3] will [url=]do good for[/url][A4] the growth of new trees. But if the dead ones（ones我觉得替代的很好，很简单但是很地道） are cleaned soon after the forest fire,[url=]it[/url][A5] will decrease the necessary elements for trees to grow.

Moreover, the professor contendsthat insect problem cannot necessarily result a damage for the forest, despitethe statement in the passage that dead trees will cause a serious insect infestation. The professor demonstrates her idea with the fact that the decrease ofinsect resulted from salvage logging [url=]will do harm to the birds in the forest[/url][A6] . And birds play animportant role in the forest eco-system. So salvage logging can be moreharmful to forest than the insect problem.

Finally, the professor asserts that the economic gain from salvage logging willbe small and comteporay (自改temporary ) ,whereas thereading passage claims the advantages of salvage logging in industries andemployment. The professor proves the claim to be indefensible by pointing outthat the lumber of salvage logging cannot be maintain for lots of industriesand the workers need some specific experience to do the [url=]work[/url][A7] .

模板的痕迹不算很重，感觉如果逻辑连词用的到位，文章就会很自然。最后一段我也觉得不太好听懂诶~ 真是要好好回去研究下怎么保证听懂又能把笔记都记下来了~  共勉！！！

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[A1]drawback可以作可数，并且后面提到了不止一个缺点，同时后面的overshadow是复数形式

[A2]even though 和 but只可用一个

[A3]这里which紧挨着soil，变成指代soil了， 可以改成Ving伴随状语形式

[A4]Google了一下，好像比较少有这种用法，xiaxia君确定是这样吗？会不会do good to还相对常见些呢

[A5]这里的it指代不明

[A6]这里其实说的是birds也会在这些deadtrees里面栖息，有利于森林的成长，而没有说会危害到鸟类

[A7]最后一段大概说的是，把这些树木运出森林会话费很多money，而那些创造出来的工作是temporary的，并且都被有经验的外地人抢走了，本地人没什么收获