羊咩咩yw的写作贴~~求猛拍，for my dream~

fairyfinger

The professor claims that the criticism in the reading passage is largely result from prejudice and ignorance of how far the encyclopedias coming. There are three points he makes to oppose the main idea of the reading passage, as presented below.

First of all, she argues that the traditional encyclopedias has never been closely perfect accurate, people can hardly find a really comprehensive accurate article on or off line. What's more, the errors in the online encyclopedia can be easily corrected, however, the errors remain in the traditional one for decades. Therefore, the reading is wrong to claim that communal online encyclopedias often lack academic credentials.

Second, she points out that there two strategies were aroused to protect articles from corrupting by hackers. The first one is putting the crucial fact in a read-only format that nobody can change. The other on is having a special editor whose job is to monitor the changing of articles and eliminate the changes of the article.

Last but not least, she claims that the traditional encyclopedia has limited spaces so that a group of editors  choose information with judgments that do not cope with the major interests from （of）a large group of people. However, the online encyclopedias do not have space problems, so they can reflect people's interests. Again, it is different from what the reading passage demonstrates.

很好，点都答到了，而且很简洁。除了一些小错误需要注意一下，句法也比较多元。

羊咩咩yw

It is better to relax by a movie or reading a book than doing physical exercise.Do you agree?


People nowadays focus intensely on the factors that affect their health condition both physically and pycalogicolly,  and a positive environment filled with interesting movies, excellent books and physical exercise is considered essential. However, when asked about is relaxing by movie or reading a book  better than doing physical exercise when people have some leisure time, my answer is definitely yes.


To begin, people can not only learn some practical knowledge and skills from movies or books, but also can experience diverse life styles in the plots of movies and books, which can let them get out from work and pressure for a while. Watching a interesting movie or reading a book while is the most efficatious way for people to rejuvenating their mind. On the country, doing physical exercise in gyms or public parks cannot provide people a quite environment which is necessary for individual to relax. I still remember last time, I had a bad experience in my part-time job. I undertook a lot of pressure because I was a greenhand. It was a excellent book named XXX tought me how to release my presure. It was this book that gave me a good leading to relex my mind after work.


Futhermore, doing physical exercise without professional instructor may result in some desease, which will harm people's physical and psycological health. According to s recent study in the internet, over 90 percent people doing exercise without instructor, thay is to say, most people doing exercise by along or with friend. This number is so striking. What's more, because of  the growing prices of the peofessional exercise calsses in gyms, most people nowadays relanctant to choose prctice in there. In the other words, doing physical exercise nowadays will exercise a negtive effect on people's live. In contrast, relaxing by movies or reading a book are totally safe.


To sum up, actually, people can relax their mind after a whohe day work or study by the above ways,  as both of them can peovid people a more enjoyable life experience. However, when people take safety into consideration, relaxing by a movie or reading book is more suitable than doing exercises, especially for childeren and older people.

羊咩咩yw

9.2 独立
It is better to relax by a movie or reading a book than doing physical exercise.Do you agree?

People nowadays focus intensely on the factors that affect their health condition both physically and psychologically, and a positive environment filled with interesting movies, excellent books and physical exercise is considered essential. However, when asked about is relaxing by movie or reading a book  better than doing physical exercise when people have some leisure time, my answer is definitely yes.

To begin, people can not only learn some practical knowledge and skills from movies or books, but also can experience diverse life styles in the plots of movies and books, which can let them get out from work and pressure for a while. Watching a interesting movie or reading a book while is the most efficacious way for people to rejuvenating their mind. On the country, doing physical exercise in gyms or public parks cannot provide people a quite environment which is necessary for individual to relax. I still remember last time, I had a bad experience in my part-time job, which gave me a lot of pressure because I was a greenhand at that time. It was a excellent book named XXX taught me how to release my pressure and got along with workmates.

Furthermore, doing physical exercise without professional instructor may result in some disease, which will harm people's physical and psychological health. According to s recent study in the internet, over 90 percent people doing exercise without instructor, that is to say, most people doing exercise by along or with friend. This number is so striking. What's more, because of  the growing prices of the professional exercise classes in gyms, most people nowadays are reluctant to choose doing exercise in there. In the other words, doing physical exercise nowadays will exercise a negative effect on people's live. In contrast, relaxing by movies or reading a book are totally safe.

To sum up, actually, people can relax their mind after a whole day work or study by the above ways,  as both of them can provide people a more enjoyable life experience. However, when people take safety into consideration, relaxing by a movie or reading book is more suitable than doing exercises, especially for children and older people.

TPO 7
The professor is not in agreement with that of the reading passage, which suggests that United States; wood companies will not adopted new ecologically friendly practices. There are three points he makes to oppose the main ideas of the reading passage, as presented below.

First of all, the professor argues that the American customers do not treat the advertisements the same, they can distinguish which products produced by individual company, and which products has an certifications from an International organization. Therefore the reading is wrong to claim that American consumers do not place much trust in advertising claims in general.

Second, he admits that American consumers do care a lot about price, but according to a study, they care about price only when there has competing product has a higher or lower prices. It comes into conflict with what the reading passage argues that American consumers tend to choose cheaper uncertified wood products.

Last bu not least, he claims that American companies also pay attention to these foreign competing companies. If they do not capture the group of customers who like to buy ecologically friendly practices, then these foreign companies will come in domestic market to provide customers this kind of ecologically friendly practices.

kchszy061ban

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

The professor is not in agreement with that of the reading passage, which suggests that United States;（这里加分号做什么？） wood companies will not adopted new ecologically friendly practices. There are three points he makes to oppose the main ideas of the reading passage, as presented below.（开头很好）

First of all, the professor argues that the American customers do not treat the advertisements the same, they can distinguish which products produced by individual company, and which products has an certifications from an International organization. Therefore the reading is wrong to claim that American consumers do not place much trust in advertising claims in general.（第一段很好）

Second, he admits that American consumers do care a lot about price, but according to a study, they care about price only when there has competing product has（这里把has 改为with也可以不？然后a 后面用price） a higher or lower prices. It comes into conflict with what the reading passage argues that American consumers tendto choose cheaper uncertified wood products.

Last bu not least, he claims that American companies also pay attention to these foreign competing companies. If they do not capture the group of customers who like to buy ecologically friendly practices（这里buy 的应该是products额）, then these foreign companies will come in domestic market to provide customers this kind of ecologically friendly practices.

Yangyang听力的要点掌握就好了。  奥，写作的资料里面都会有综合的，你选一本深入看下，然后再参考其他就好啦。

332211abc

It is better to relax by a movie or reading a book than doing physical exercise.Do you agree?

People nowadays focus intensely on the factors that affect their health condition both physically and psychologically（修饰condition吗？这句可以直接删，或者affect their XX health）, and a positive environment搭配错 filled with interesting movies, excellent books and physical exercise is considered essential. However, when asked about is relaxing by movie or reading a book better than doing physical exercise when people have some leisure time(第一个词是代词？第二个是从句先行词？), my answer is definitely yes.

To begin, people can not only learn some practical knowledge and skills（作文让讨论一下那种休闲方式好，这里提到知识和技巧没必要） from movies or books, but also can experience diverse life styles in the plots of movies and books, which can let them get out（口语词，可以换） from work and pressure for a while（and并列前后意思一致，这里前后意思不沾边）. Watching a interesting movie or reading a book while is the most efficacious way for people to rejuvenating their mind（这个说法我没见过，有些不保险）. On the country, doing physical exercise in gyms or public parks cannot provide people a quite environment which is necessary for individual to relax. I still remember last time, I had a bad experience in my part-time job, which gave me a lot of pressure because I was a greenhand口语词 at that time. It was a excellent book named XXX taught me how to release my pressure and got along with workmates.

Furthermore, doing physical exercise without professional instructor may result in some disease, which will harm people's physical and psychological health. According to s recent study in the internet, over 90 percent people doing exercise without instructor, that is to say, most people doing exercise by along or with friend. This number is so striking.此处可以延伸，这些人运动受了伤，或者没有得到完全放松 What's more, because of the growing prices of the professional exercise classes in gyms, most people nowadays are reluctant to choose doing exercise in there. In the other words, doing physical exercise nowadays这词用的太多了，完全可以换 will exercise a negative这个我没见过。 effect on people's live. In contrast, relaxing by movies or reading a book are totally safe.

To sum up, actually,有第一个就不需要第二个了，两个都没有实际意义，客套话而已，选一个就够了。 people can relax their mind不知道外国有没有放松身心这种说法，应该直接说放松就可以了，不必写放松那个部位 after a whole day work or study by the above ways, as both of them can provide people a more enjoyable life experience. However, when people take safety into consideration, relaxing by a movie or reading book is more suitable than doing exercises, especially for children and older people.

和标准模板差一段，虽然模板只是参考，但论点支持不足也不行。
中间论点有些离题，你强调看书看电影安全，这个说法即不合理也站不住脚，看蝙蝠侠还躺也中枪呢。

yeiz123

It is better to relax by a movie or reading a book than doing physical exercise.Do you agree?


People nowadays focus intensely on the factors that affect their health condition both physically and pycalogicolly (psychologically), and a positive environment filled with interesting movies, excellent books and physical exercise is considered essential.(逻辑上有问题，老外读不懂这句话的重点是说什么。用了长句是好事，但是把意思和逻辑搞砸了就适得其反了，个人不确定是否语法上也有问题，似乎这一句话里有两个谓语。 ) However, when asked about is relaxing by movie or reading a book better than doing physical exercise when people have some leisure time,（这句话其实可以更简单得表达，一方面老外很少用When asked about 后面更一个长句子的表达，另一方面这里有个原则应该明确，要用地道的句式，不要为了有长句或复句而去自己拼凑句子，结果会适得其反，要看自己写的一些表达是否地道，不妨把这个短语或者句式放在GOOGLE上搜一下，看看是不是一些西方大媒体都经常用，如果很少出现，那么应该不是很地道的表达。要在英文版的google上，不要上香港的google） my answer is definitely yes.


To begin, people can not only learn some practical knowledge and skills from movies or books, but also can experience diverse life styles in the plots of movies and books, which can let them get out from work and pressure for a while. Watching a（an） interesting movie or reading a book while is the most efficatious (efficacious) way for people to rejuvenating (rejuvenate) their mind. On the country, doing physical exercise in gyms or public parks cannot provide people a quite environment which is necessary for individual to relax. I still remember last time, I had a bad experience in my part-time job. I undertook a lot of pressure because I was a greenhand. It was a (an) excellent book named XXX tought me how to release my presure. It was this book that gave me a good leading to relex (relax) my mind after work. 本段的后面的大部分的论证是在证明MOVIE OR BOOKS 给人带来了放松而运动没有。后面的例子用得不错，但是第一句说的观点句似乎和后面论证的没有关系，说的是movie和书给人经验和一些东西去学习，这个论点和下面就不对应了，老外就会CONFUSE了。建议最后了来个总结。进一步加强观点，这样逻辑性更强。


Futhermore, doing physical exercise without professional instructor may result in some desease, which will harm people's physical and psycological health. According to s recent study in (on)  the internet, over 90 percent people doing exercise without instructor, thay is to say, most people doing exercise by along (alone) or with friend. This number is so striking. What's more, because of the growing prices of the peofessional (professional) exercise classes (classes) in gyms, most people nowadays relanctant (reluctant) to choose prctice in there (there 前面不能直接加IN的，就用THERE 就行了). In the other words, doing physical exercise nowadays will exercise a negative （negative） effect on people's live (lives). In contrast, relaxing by movies or reading a book are (is) totally safe.


To sum up, actually, people can relax their mind after a whohe (whole) day work or study by the above ways, as both of them can peovid (provide) people a more enjoyable life experience. However, when people take safety into consideration, relaxing by a movie or reading book is more suitable than doing exercises, especially for children (children) and older people.
总结：
1.语法错误过多，尤其是拼写，这个在平时练习时就应该多加注意，个人建议在发上论坛前可以复制到到WORD文档检查下一些明显的拼写错误。
2.真正论证的内容少了点，一般至少3段，2段论述的话容易导致字数欠佳
3.逻辑性还不够，需要更加具体和清楚的论证。

羊咩咩yw

今天的这篇着实没思路~~没论据~
9.3 综合


Do you agree that it is better to spend money on traveling and vacation than save
money for the future.

With the development of our society, nowadays people tend to spend more money and time on traveling and vacation. While, there also have some people strongly incline to saving money for their future. To persue a positive life attitude, I choose to spend money on traveling and vacation with my boyfriend and my family members.

First of all, through the process of traveling and vacation, people can gain a positive life attitude, which to me is the essence of life. People can not only experience a diverse life styles and cultures by traveling, but also can achieve a sense of cohesive and personal worth, which is necessary for one individual to build a positive life attitude. On the country, people who save money for the future will gradually end up abusing their life and becoming the slave of money. According to a recent research in the internet with men and women, people who spend money on traveling and vacation feel more happy and satisfied than people who don't. In this sense, it is better to spend money on traveling and vacation than save money for the future.

Furthermore, a fantastic traveling or vacation experience can kindle people's inspiration or interest in some novel things, especially for children. People save money for many reasons, and the most important one is to provides their children a prosperous future. However, the neglected one fact that the best way to give children a promising future is not saving money for them, but to give them more opportunities to find out the things they are really interested in. I still remember that when I was a little girl, my father took my mother and I to IUB in North America, I was so curious about the special language they used to communicate with each other,  so I decide to learning English, and finally I choose translator as my career. It is this trip that kindle my interest in English. Thanks to this fantastic traveling experience, I find my favorite career. Therefore, spending money on traveling and vacation more useful than saving money for future.

To sum up, with the development of our society, saving money is becoming less important in our daily life.To experience a meaningful life, meanwhile gain some useful skills and knowledge is the best choice for us. So, based on the above analyzing, I strongly incline to the view that it is more better to spend money on traveling and vacation than saving money for the future.

羊咩咩yw

TPO 8
The professor disagree with that of the reading passage, which suggests that Chevalier distorted or invented many events in the memoir to make his life seem more exciting and glamorous. She agues that the content of this memoir is pretty accurate overall. And in this lecture, she uses three specific points to support her main idea.

First of all, according to the reading passage, Chevalier is not as wealthy as he mentioned in the memoir because he borrowed a considerable sums of money from a merchant. However, the professor explains that Chevalier spend a lot of money on parties and gambling, it takes a few days for Chevalier to convert his properties into actual money. So before these days, he borrowed from a merchant is reasonable. And it doses not necessary mean he is poor.

Second, the professor provides that every night after talking with Voltaire, Chevalier wright down the contents of these communications immediately.  What's more, some witness has confirmed that when Chevalier composed his memoir, he always consulted these notes. Therefore, the reading is wrong to claim that the memoir cannot capture these conversations accurately.

Last but not least, she points out that some prisoners in the very same prison with Chevalier have even more powerful friends than Chevalier's did, but none of them can get out from there with a bribe offered by friends. In addition, a document have shown that after Chevalier escaped from that prison, the hole in the ceiling had been repaired. That is to say, Chevalier did escape from a notorious in Venice.

vivian873921

Do you agree that it is better to spend money on traveling and vacation than savemoney for the future.


With the development of our society, nowadays people tend to spend more money and time on traveling and vacation. While, there also have some people strongly incline to saving(应该是 incline to do sth.吧~) money for their future. To persue a positive life attitude, I choose to spend money on traveling and vacation with my boyfriend and my family members.


First of all, through the process of traveling and vacation, people can gain a positive life attitude, which to me is the essence of life. People can not only experience a diverse life styles and cultures by traveling, but also can achieve a sense of cohesive and personal worth, which is necessary for one individual to build a positive life attitude. On the country（contrary）, people who save money for the future will gradually end up abusing their life and becoming the slave of money. According to a recent research in the internet with men and women, people who spend money on traveling and vacation feel more happy and satisfied than people who don't. In this sense, it is better to spend money on traveling and vacation than save money for the future.


Furthermore, a fantastic traveling or vacation experience can kindle people's inspirations or interests in some novel things, especially for children. People save money for many reasons, and the most important one is to provides(provide)their children a prosperous future. However, the neglected one fact that the best way to give children a promising future is not saving money for them, but to give them more opportunities to find out the things they are really interested in. I still remember that when I was a little girl, my father took my mother and I to IUB in North America, I was so curious about the special language they used to communicate with each other, so I decide to learning（是不是应该是decide to do~） English, and finally I choose translator as my career. It is this trip that kindle(s) my interest in English. Thanks to this fantastic traveling experience, I find my favorite career. Therefore, spending money on traveling and vacation more useful than saving money for (the)future.


To sum up, with the development of our society, saving money is becoming less important in our daily life.To experience a meaningful life, meanwhile gain some useful skills and knowledge is the best choice for us. So, based on the above analyzing, I strongly incline to the view that it is more better to spend money on traveling and vacation than saving money for the future.

从批改中学到的东西: 句子结构灰常好呢！易该这个软件上面显示出来LZ的句子结构都是EXCELLENT。但是理由是不是少了一个呢~
写的很好了的说~改的不对的话~一起研究下~嘿嘿

羊咩咩yw

小v你说的那个是什么一个软件啊？