羊咩咩yw的写作贴~~求猛拍，for my dream~

vivian873921

叫做易改~就是会纠错那种~还会分析下用词句型~去百度一搜就有了呢！

vivian873921

正在改综合呢~先来站下位置~
The professor disagree(disagrees )with that of the reading passage, which suggests that Chevalier distorted or invented many events in the memoir to make his life seem more exciting and glamorous. She agues (argues)that the content of this memoir is pretty accurate overall. And in this lecture, she uses three specific points to support her main idea.

First of all, according to the reading passage, Chevalier is not as wealthy as he mentioned in the memoir because he borrowed a considerable sums(sum) of money from a merchant. However, the professor explains that Chevalier spend a lot of money on parties and gambling, it takes a few days for Chevalier to convert his properties into actual money.(弱弱的问一下，就是如果教授说的东西是事实，这个是用现在时对吗？就是就算事实是发生在过去的？比如说，如果在过去发生的，就会说 it took a few days~) So before these days, he borrowed from a merchant is reasonable(这个也是同样的问题。个人比较疑惑~正确的应该是那种呢~). And it doses(does) not necessary mean he is poor.


Second, the professor provides that every night after talking with Voltaire, Chevalier wright down the contents of these communications immediately. （he wrote down everything he could remember about that particular night’s conversation. 这个是听力中的原文~about that particular night's conversation,不一定是每天晚上写吧~他也可以第二天写的呀~）What's more, some witness has confirmed that when Chevalier composed his memoir, he always consulted these notes. Therefore, the reading is wrong to claim that the memoir cannot capture these conversations accurately.


Last but not least, she points out that some prisoners in the very same prison with Chevalier have even more powerful friends than Chevalier's did（这个句子是不是有点不对称~就是前面一句是have more powerful friends, 后面than ...did。前面改成had，或者后面改吧~）, but none of them can get out from there with a bribe offered by friends. In addition, a document have(has)shown that after Chevalier escaped from that prison, the hole in the ceiling had been repaired.That is to say, Chevalier did escape from a notorious in Venice.

羊咩咩yw

原文是这样的呢~The C states in his memoir that each night immediately after conversing with V, he wrote down everything he could remember about that particular night's conversation. 所以他是在晚上写的呢~~前面的那个我也不确定是要用过去还是现在呢~~这个我也很纠结~~我就写的时候时间不够了，直接填内容~~哈哈，想也没想就过去时了~

羊咩咩yw

9.4 独立

Agree/disagree：an efficient leader will always try to make everyone feel that he's in part of a decision making.

A good leader is also a good listener who can make his employees feel free to talk about his feelings and ideas, which will exert a positive effect on the whole team. Therefore, I totally agree with the statement that an efficient leader will always let his underlings achieve a sense of participation.

First of all, an efficient leader can always make a project moves quickly and successfully, making every employee feel that he is in part of a decision can greatly stimulate those diligent members so the efficiency of the whole can be improved. No one can deny the fact that teamwork, as a predominate way to improve employees' work ability and efficiency, is used by many successful efficient leaders. I still remembered last semester, I joined in a English club named English Garden. I had a very impressive experience to work with Robert, the leader of our english club. I felt so happy and energetic everyday at that time  because I finally find a place to practice myself. He let every one express his or her opinions in every decision making meeting, in turn, all the members in that club worked with passion and high efficiency. He is absolutely an efficient leader.

In addition, in order to accumulate more useful and practical ideas, an efficient leader should always try to make everyone participate in decision making. Good decisions and plans can directly result in one company or teams' success. Steve Jobs is a real inspiration for everyone who want to make a difference, it is no doubt that he is an efficient leader, but it is not his own decisions and ideas that bring I phone and I pad to the world. He try his best to make his every underlings achieve a sense of participation. That is why Apple company becomes a symbol of innovation and teamwork.

Lastly, the essence part of success of a company or a team lies in both leader's  and his underling's efficiency, but besides let everyone achieve a sense of participation, an efficient leader should still keep his own mind. He or she need to encounter disputes among team members in making decision. Only in this way can a good leader make himself and his whole team working with high efficiency.

To sum up, for the above analyzing, I strongly incline to the view that an efficient leader will always try to make everyone feel that he's in part of a decision making.
TPO 9
The professor is not in agreement with that of the reading passage, which suggests that hydrogen-based fuel-cell engine will probably soon replace the internal-combustion engines. She uses three specific reasons to support her idea.

First of all, the professor admits that oil is a finite resource and will exert a negative effect on the environment. However, the reading passage fails to state that hydrogen is a good replacement of petroleum. The fact is that hydrogen is not as easily available as the reading suggests. Purified liquid state hydrogen, which can directly used to power cars, is a highly artificial substance, and it is difficult to produce and store.

Second, according to the reading passage, hydrogen-based fuel cells will solve many pollution problems. However the professor argues that it cannot solve environment problems associated with cars, because the purification equipment, which used to produce hydrogen, require a lot of energy generated by burning oil and coal, these burning oil and coal will definitely harm the environment.

Last but not least, she points out that manufacturing the fuel-cell is expensive because it requires a kind of rare and expensive metal. Without this metal, hydrogen cannot chemically react to create electricity that powers the cars. And all the experiment generated to find the replacement of this metal by far ended up with failure. Therefor, the reading is wrong to demonstrate that fuel-cell engines are economically competitive.

vivian873921

A good leader is also a good listener who can make his employees feel free to talk about his feelings and ideas, which will exert a positive effect on the whole team. Therefore, I totally agree with the statement that an efficient leader will always let his underlings achieve a sense of participation.

First of all, an efficient leader can always make a project moves quickly and successfully, making every employee feel that he is in part of a decision can greatly stimulate those diligent members so the efficiency of the whole can be improved. No one can deny the fact that teamwork, as a predominate way to improve employees' work ability and efficiency, is used by many successful efficient leaders. I still remembered last semester, I joined in a(n)English club named English Garden. I had a very impressive experience to work with Robert, the leader of our english club. I felt so happy and energetic everyday at that time because I finally find a place to practice myself. He let every one (everyone) express his or her opinions in every decision making meeting, in turn, all the members in that club worked with passion and high efficiency. He is absolutely an efficient leader.


In addition, in order to accumulate more useful and practical ideas, an efficient leader should always try to make everyone participate in decision making. Good decisions and plans can directly result in one company or teams' success. Steve Jobs is a real inspiration for everyone who want to make a difference, it is no doubt that he is an efficient leader, but it is not his own decisions and ideas that bring I phone and I pad to the world. He try his best to make his every underlings (underling) achieve a sense of participation. That is why Apple company becomes a symbol of innovation and teamwork.


Lastly, the essence (essential) part of success of a company or a team lies in both leader's and his underling's efficiency, but besides let everyone achieve a sense of participation, an efficient leader should still keep his own mind. He or she need to encounter disputes among team members in making decision(s).Only in this way can a good leader make himself and his whole team working with high efficiency.
To sum up, for the above analyzing, I strongly incline. I strongly incline to the view that an efficient leader will always try to make everyone feel that he's inpart of a decision making.

自己在写这篇的时候~就特别痛苦~总觉得没有支持论点的论据。但是看完咩咩写的之后~觉得举例子的举得特别好~我写的那篇就都很空洞.....而且~交作业交晚了~深深的内疚....



The professor is not in agreement with that of the reading passage, which suggests that hydrogen-based fuel-cell engine will probably soon replace the internal-combustion engines. She uses three specific reasons to support her idea.


First of all, the professor admits that oil is a finite resource and will exert a negative effect on the environment. However, the reading passage fails to state that hydrogen is a good replacement of petroleum(是不是应该使用这个发动机去替换另外一种发动机吧~不是用hydrogen 去replace petroleum).The fact is that hydrogen is not as easily available as the reading suggests. Purified liquid state hydrogen, which can directly used to power cars, is a highly artificial substance, and it is difficult to produce and store.


Second, according to the reading passage, hydrogen-based fuel cells will solve many pollution problems. However the professor argues that it cannot solveenvironment (environmental) problems associated with cars, because the purification equipment, which used to produce hydrogen, require(s)a lot of energy generated by burning oil and coal, these burning oil and coal will definitely harm the environment.


Last but not least, she points out that manufacturing the fuel-cell is expensive because it requires a kind of rare and expensive metal. Without this metal, hydrogen cannot chemically react to create electricity that powers the cars. And all the experiment generated to find the replacement of this metal by far ended up with failure. Therefor,the reading is wrong to demonstrate that fuel-cell engines are economically competitive

羊咩咩yw

TPO 10
The professor disagree with the explanation of the reading passage, which suggest that the pollution hypothesis seemed the more likely of two. She argues that the predators hypothesis is more convincing. And in the lecture, she uses three specific points to support her idea.

First of all, according to the reading passage, it is the increased levels of chemicals that indirectly cause sea otter's death. However, the professor points out that the pollution hypothesis is weakened by the fact that nobody can find sea otter's dead body in the shore. If it is the increased chemical kill the sea otter,people can find sea otter's dead body in the shore immediately.

Second, she convincingly argues that it is the human hunter that the number of whale decline, so that the orca change his appetite to small sea mammals, which is the reason why other sea mammals were also decline. Therefor , the reading passage is wrong to claim that the environment pollution affect the otter's decline as well as other sea mammals.

Last but not least, she points out that the uneven pattern of otter decline prove his ideas in the opposite way. She says that the otters likes to live in rocky and shallow area, where the orca is so big that cannot attack them, so in such place the number of otters remained stable, and in the other places where the orca can access to , the otter population declined greatly.

vivian873921

The professor disagree(s)with the explanation of the reading passage, which suggest(s)that the pollution hypothesis seemed the more likely of two. She argues that the predators hypothesis is more convincing. And in the lecture, she uses three specific points to support her idea.


First of all, according to the reading passage, it is the increased levels of chemicals that indirectly cause sea otter's death. However, the professor points out that the pollution hypothesis is weakened by the fact that nobody can find sea otter's dead body in the shore. If it is the increased chemical kill the sea otter,people can find sea otter's dead body in the shore immediately.
听力里面还有说~OTTERS是被捕食者很快的吃掉了~所以木有发现尸体

Second, she convincingly argues that it is the human hunter that the number of whale decline, so that the orca change(s)his appetite to small sea mammals, which is the reason why other sea mammals were also decline(declining). Therefor , the reading passage is wrong to claim that the environment(al)pollution affect the otter's decline as well as other sea mammals. （原文中说orcas have probably started hunting those. So, it probably is the orcas that are causing the decline of all the smaller sea mammals mentioned in the passage - the seals, the sea lions, and the sea otters.是不是ORCAS也吃sea otters.应该他都吃这些小动物吧~我写的时候，是不知道肿么拼orcas，然后自己写成predators了。）


Last but not least, she points out that the uneven pattern of otter decline prove(s) his ideas in the opposite way. She says that the otters likes to live in rocky and shallow area, where the orca is so big that cannot attack them, so in such place the number of otters remained stable, and in the other places where the orca can access to , the otter population declined greatly.

羊咩咩yw

TPO 11

The professor is not in agreement with that of the reading passage, which suggests that people nowadays reading far less literature-books may exert negative effect on reading public, the culture in general and the literature's future. She uses three specific ideas to support her central opinion, as presented below.

First of all, she points out that besides literature books, there are a lot of other books can stimulate people's intellectual, such as science, political, and historical, which are with high qualities. These kinds of books can also benefit readers a lot. What's more, a decline in literature book reading does not necessary means a decline in book reading generally.  

Second, she suggests that a plenty of culture nowadays is not written. Musics and movies are more creative form of culture than books. What's more, he also says that culture is changed today, there are a lot of forms of expressing; and musics and movies are definitely not lower cultures.Therefore, the reading is wrong to argues that diverting time previously spent in reading literature to trivial forms of entertainment has lowered the level of culture in general.

Last but not least, she admits that less supporting in books is true, but she blames this phinominon to those authors rather than the readers. She says that books nowadays are difficult to understand for readers. It is unfair to attributes the less supporting of books to readers only.


9.6 独立
With the development of technology, people nowadays enjoy various convenience that these advanced technologies bring to us. Unfortunately. we also have to face plenty of threatens that created by those high-techs: the environment pollution, and excessive non-renewable energy consumption. Based on those severe problems, I strongly incline to the view that the most important problems in today's world will not be solved in our lifetime

To begin, the environment problems cannot be solved untile people stop using petroleum, burning coal and oil to power cars and industry equipments. Hardly can people imagine the fact that there is no alternative power resource can replace the petroleum and coal. Besides, It is acknowledge that people nowadays cannot live without automobiles. It becomes a necessity in people's daily life. According to a recent reacher in the Internet, up to 2050, over 90% of families in this word will have at least 2 cars for each in average. That is to say, instead of giving up using cars, people in the future will purchase more cars, which will definitely cause a more worse effect on the environment, let alone solve the environment problems. It is more obvious that more cars means more using of petroleum and coal. In this sense, people cannot solve this problem in their life time.

Furthermore, the predominant energy resources ,which used to power cars and industry equipments, in nowadays, such as petroleum and fossil fuel , is non-renewable. The volume of these energy substance is limited. Even though the technology and science have advanced, people cannot find any other replacement as economical as petroleum and fossil fuel. Take the solar energy as an example, after several experiments, scientists have already claimed that solar energy is difficult to concentrate and store. Even though it can be used to power cars and industry equipments, it cannot apply to all the place in this world, especially places without continuous sunlight.

However, some people still argue that to halt the acceleration of environment deterioration, the government has general a lot of laws to prevent people excessively using petroleum and fossil fuel. By this way, the environment problems can be solved in their lifetime. Unfortunately, they forget one fact that I have mentioned in paragraph two, the volume of such substance is limited, keeping people from excessively using does not necessary mean people cannot use. Therefore, it is concluded that the problem that environment pollutions and excessive using of petroleum will definitely cannot be solve in this generation.

To sum up, based on the above analyzing, I still belive that there are lot of problems that people are unable to solve in their lifetime, and the environment pollution and the excessive using of petroleum are the most standing two.  

xeyyxzty

熊熊来咯~~~To begin, the environment problems cannot besolved untile people stop using petroleum, burning coal and oil topower cars and industry equipments.（这句话的意思感觉有问题呀，环境问题并不仅仅是指污染造成的吧，荒漠化、水污染、动植物灭绝都是吧，这句话写的有点片面） Hardly can people imagine the fact that there is（应该用虚拟语气什么的吧，我不太懂，would be怎么样？错了告诉我啊） no alternative power resource can replace the petroleum and coal（这句话的结构没有看懂，改成replacing P and C 怎么样）. Besides, It isacknowledged that people nowadays cannot live without automobiles. It(指代autos就应该用they) becomes a necessityin people's daily life. According to a recent reacher(research?还是别的什么) in the Internet, up to 2050, over 90% offamilies inthis word will have at least 2 cars foreach in average. That is to say, instead of giving up using cars,people in the future will purchase morecars, which will definitely cause a more worse effect on the environment, let alone solve theenvironment problems. Itis more obvious that more cars means more usingof petroleum and coal（同学，貌似火车用煤吧~为什么在讨论汽车的时候出现了呢？？？可以换成gas）. In this sense, people cannot solvethis problem in their life time.
你的意思是能源污染环境，而汽车造成污染，人们无法离开汽车，所以问题无法解决~可是我想问一下哦，不只是汽车使用能源吧，而且为什么科技不能创新呢？整段话的感觉都是很片面的讨论~观点不是很convincing~
Furthermore, the predominant energy resources ,which usedto power cars and industry equipments, in nowadays, such as petroleum andfossil fuel ,is non-renewable. Thevolume of these energy substance is limited. Even though the technology andscience have advanced, people cannot find any other replacement as economicalas petroleum and fossil fuel. Take the solar energy as an example, after several experiments,scientists havealready claimed that solar energy is difficultto concentrate and store. Even though it can be used to power cars and industryequipments, it cannot apply(be applied) toall the places in this(the，有关系吗？我也不清楚哈) world, especially places without continuoussunlight.

However, some people still argue thatto halt the acceleration ofenvironment deterioration, the government has general(generate?还是这个词用错地方了) a lot of laws to prevent people excessively using petroleum and fossil fuel（那个，环境破坏为什么一定要绕着能源说呀~咱们换一个吧）. Bythis way, the environment problems can be solved in their lifetime. Unfortunately, they forget onefact that I have mentioned in paragraph two, the volume of such substance islimited, keeping people from excessively using does not necessary（necessarily） meanpeople cannot use.（这句话，貌似是很多句话~我喜欢这样说，unfortunately, they forgot…The volume…limitedthat keeping people…cannot use them.没什么大变化，但是应该没有语法错误了）  Therefore, it is concludedthat the problem that environment pollutions and excessive usingof petroleum（第二个问题不是包含在第一个内吗？） willdefinitelycannot be solved in this generation.

To sum up, based on the above analyzing, I still believethat there are a lot of problems that people are unableto solve in their lifetime, and the environment pollution and the excessiveusing of petroleum are the most standing two.  

我就是想说~题目是泛泛的指所有问题，这样把问题细化可以吗？最好确定一下吧，感觉有点不靠谱……

羊咩咩yw

以前我也有和你一样的感觉~~感觉不能把问题往细了写，但是和几个高分牛人讨论过之后，得出的一直建议是一定要往实，细写。对于当今世界最大的问题个人有个人的理解，所以往泛了写容易写虚，我是这样想的呢~~呵呵，当今的世界最大的问题应该是环境和能源比较热议（我觉得这两个比较好写），环境污染，和能源短缺不是一回事，首先第一段~说的是环境污染，从大方面来讲我觉得只要人们还在用石油当能源来驱动汽车，环境问题就得不到缓解，第二个方面是人们不能解决能源短缺问题，原因是一方面面石油不可再生，人类在没办法再造，二是新型能源运用面不广也没有石油经济实惠~~所以就选了这两个问题呢~~“你的意思是能源污染环境，而汽车造成污染，人们无法离开汽车，所以问题无法解决~可是我想问一下哦，不只是汽车使用能源吧，而且为什么科技不能创新呢？整段话的感觉都是很片面的讨论~观点不是很convincing~”
我只是从一个方面去写，不能把所有环境问题都写完~面面俱到有点难，我文中并没有说只有汽车使用石油影响环境是唯一的原因，但汽车确实是最outstanding的一个呢~~所以想往细了写，就选了这个，可能是开头的那句话写得有点太肯定了，所以会造成这种效果，我去改改TS~谢谢熊熊的指正呢