羊咩咩yw的写作贴~~求猛拍，for my dream~

xeyyxzty

In an industrial day(这是什么意思？),people ask for effectiveness and efficiency from almost everything. Obviously, the most efficacious way for a company to improve its average efficiency is to improve its employees' work skill. Therefore, I strongly incline tothe view that the most important investment of a company is to improve itsemployees' work skills.

这段话吧~obviously就使整篇文章讨论的很没有意义了~建议去掉，换成别的什么~

One of myexplanations seems to be that only the employee who hasexcellent work ability can bring a company a long-termbenefits. For most companyowners pursuing a high profits in a long run, return oninvestment is usually a key factor in their consideration. And it is well awaredthat excellent employees is(are) the key stone to access profits(gain profits怎么样). Take the most profitable technology companyApple IR as an example, according to a data（statistics怎么样） from the internet,it spends2000 million dollar a year, at least one timeshigher than other domestic investment, to improve employees' workability.The leader of this（个人偏向用the）company once had(has，过去完成时不对吧)said that I (he，这是间接引用话语)was so glade tospend money on cultivate(cultivating) my(his/the)employees because the future of this company was in their hands.
   
Another consideration to my judge is thatemployees with excellent work ability can bring consumers high -quality products which is the most popular goods the whole public want(不是很明白要说什么，高品质产品最流行？这个~popular不恰当吧). On the other hand, high-quality products can help one company build its band and reputation（不确定是否这样用哈）.Take Lenovo as an example, it is a domestic company inour country. In(at)the very beginning,people do not believeits products(感觉不是很对~trust?或者别的什么)because of the low quality and short using age of its products. But now it becomes themost famous computer manufacture companyin this world, because 4 years before, the leader of this company decided to spend huge amount of money to cultivate hisemployees who can help him to createdhigh qualified products. In this case, it is better for a company tospend more money to improve its employees' work ability.
   
However, some people still argues that the mostimportant investment of a company is to make novel products toattract consumers and to create demanding. It is true thatpeople tend to buy novel things that they are curiousabout. But once they find these products are out of using（这是什么意思？不能用了？这个，貌似不只是novel things需要更换吧。我不是很理解你的意思哈）, or with low quality, they will never buy it(products~them) anymore;and the producers willend up with bankrupt. So, this argument is a possible way（不好意思，这句也不是很明白） , but not aprobable one. On the contrary, the high-quality product which produced byexcellent employees can not only retain loyal consumers, but also can attract morepotential consumers. In this sense, it is a wise move for a company leader toput the most essential investment to improve his employees' work skills.

Personally, I tend to believe that employeesare the most important element of a successful company. Without of excellentemployees, one company cannot find their（its）own way to access along run profits. So, I support the view that


这篇文章，小毛病有点多~
还有就是用词重复，不停的说那几个关键词~
然后就是有的句子我不是很明白你要表达的意思~这个就请见谅啦
还有就是说最高级的时候貌似说one of the most...比较好~
你看看我改的，可能有不对的地方~再交流~

婷婷connie

TPO13
Sorry,来晚了= =
The professor's opinion is not in agreement with that of the reading passage, which suggests that selling the fossils to private ownership(ownership更倾向于所有权的意思，建议咩咩用private businessmen/owners)will exert a negative effect on scientists and the general public. She argues that the benefits of private fossils selling greatly out-weight the disadvantages. She uses three specific ideas to support her point.(这一段整个字数很多哦，考试的时候是限制字数的，225一下~，所以最后一句可以不要或者改成by using three ideas.)

First of all, she points out that the fossils can be great exposure for the public but not less exposure（重复）. Selling fossils to private owners can make a lot of fossils available. And the public schools and libraries can buy fossils in a legal way. That is to say, the public can have more chances to get access to most important（这一点文章貌似没有提呀） fossils. It is directly oppositewith the reading passage.（这句感觉也多余了）

Second, she agues that the idea that scientists are likely to lose some of important fossils（这段重点的是some discoveries of the fossils ） is also not realistic. Before people put value on a fossil, it needs to be identified first. And only the scientists can identified fossils. It means that all fossils sold to public owners should pass the hands of scientists. They can get more accesses to identify fossils rather than miss（missing） them out.

Last but not least, she claims that it is better for more fossils to be found rather than remain underneath. There are not many fossil collection institutions in universities or science institutions. So, even though the commercial collects may make some damages, it is better than to bury them under the earth.

Conclusion:咩咩的综合写的已经不错了，找不到错了...不过要注意控制字数哦，婷婷也有这样的问题，还有每个段最后没有必要来个总结，这个是以防字数不够时用的招~

ETS倾向于多写一些听力的细节

羊咩咩yw

TPO15
The reading passage talks about several measures to stop the spread of the cane toad in Australia. On the country, the professors claims that these measures will not be feasible to stop the spread of those animals. She uses three specific ideas to oppose the main measures of the reading passage, as presented below.

First of all, she points that the young cane toads and cane toad eggs are living in the strings or the lacks. They will be carried from one side to the other sides by the water in those strings or lacks. Therefore, the fence cannot prevent cane toads from moving into other parts of Australia. It is opposite with the reading passage.

Second, she holds that the cane toad cannot be easily captured and destroyed by volunteers who without professional training. Instead of destroy the cane toads, those volunteers, who do not receive the profession training, may destroy another frog species.This kind of frog looks like the cane toads, especially the young cane toads. And this kind of frogs have already in danger. Therefore the reading is wrong to suggests that cane toads can easily be captured by hand.

Last but not least, contradicting to what is stated in the reading that a disease-causing virus will not harm most of the infected species, the professor argues that it can attract the native cane toads in American , which is one part of the local ecosystem. She explains that the cane toads which infect by this virus might be taken to other places by scientists or other persons. So, this method cannot be feasible.

9.10 独立
I strongly incline to the view that the ability to adapt oneself to the new environment is more important than excellent knowledge for a people who want to achieve success in a new job. There are two reasons behind my opinion.

At the first place, people, who can adapt to different environment, have the ability keep a good relationship with his/her colleagues in his new job, which will exert a positive effect in his/her job fulfillment. No one in this world is entirely independent or is omnipotent. We need other people's help or assistance when we encounter some troubles or challenges. If we cannot get along with our colleagues, which is because we cannot adapt ourselves to new environment, it would be much more tough for us to solve those problems along. Take my working experience as an example, I still remembered last year, I had a bad experience in my first job after graduated. I was a assiduous students in an famous university, I learn a lot of excellent knowledge from my professor. However, I did not learn how to relate with other peoples in school, which makes me fell awkward to communicate with my colleagues. So it is hard for me to do paper works along during a short time without my colleagues' helps. I felt down and blue at that time, I gave up my first work which I loved most. In this sense, knowing how to adapt oneself to new environment is more crucial than having excellent knowledge.

Besides, knowing how to adapt to a new environment can improve one's efficiency and quality of job fulfillment. No one can deny the fact that in order to adapt a new environment, it is necessary for one to communicate with others. People who know how to communicate with his/her colleagues can improve his/her efficiency of job fulfillment. With the excellent ability of working fulfillment, one can easily succeed in doing a new job.

Of course, we need to admit that knowledge is power, which can make a people outstanding. Without professional knowledge in a particular filed, one can hardly make a big difference. However, before one individual can use his excellent knowledge, the most important thing for him/her is to adapt to a new work environment.

Personally, I tend to believe that people who have the ability to adapt to new environment can get further along in his/her career, even though he/she without excellent knowledge.

小兔爱twins

Istrongly incline to the view that the ability to adapt oneself to the newenvironment is more important than excellent knowledge for a people who want toachieve success in a new job. Thereare two reasons behind my opinion. （很直白，可以稍微包装一下开头，有一点不是很明白 你有两个mainreasons 为什么body分了三段。。。 ）

At the firstplace, people, who can adapt to different environment, have theability keep a good relationship with his/hercolleagues in his new job, which will exert a positive effect in （我觉得on比较好）his/her job fulfillment. No one in this world isentirely independent or is omnipotent.We need other people's help or assistance when we encounter some troubles orchallenges. If we cannot get along with our colleagues, which is because wecannot adapt ourselves to new environment, it would be much more tough for usto solve those problems along. Take my working experience as an example, Istill remembered last year, I had a bad experience in my first job aftergraduated. I was a assiduous students in an famous university, Ilearn a lot of excellent knowledge frommy professor. However, I did not learn how torelate with other peoples in school, which makes me fell awkward tocommunicate with my colleagues. So it is hard for me to dopaper works along during a short time without my colleagues' helps. I felt down andblue at that time, I gave up my first work which I loved most. In this sense,knowing how to adapt oneself to new environment is more crucial than having excellent knowledge.（表述上没有大问题 建议句型要注意变化）

Besides, knowinghow to adapt to a new environment can improve one's efficiency and quality of job fulfillment. No one can deny thefact that in order to adapt a new environment, it is necessary for one to communicate with others. People who know how to communicatewith his/her colleagues can improve his/her efficiency of job fulfillment.With the excellent ability of working fulfillment, one can easilysucceed in doing a new job. （fulfillment这个词有蛮多可以替换的 建议换换）

Of course, we need to admit（用一个副词去替换 grantedly，admittedly 都可以）that knowledge is power, which can make a people outstanding. Withoutprofessional knowledge in a particular filed, one can hardly make a bigdifference. However, before one individual can use his excellent knowledge, themost important thing for him/her is to adapt to a new work environment.（这段建议完善一下。。。 观点没有讲到位 有点薄弱的说理）

Personally, Itend to believe that people who have the ability to adapt to new environmentcan get further along in his/her career, even though he/she without excellentknowledge.（这结尾语气写的有点点像开头。。。多看看范文哈~~）

fuzhengrui

要点齐全但是语法上面有点小问题
The reading passage talks about several measures to stop the spread of the cane toad in Australia. On the country, the professors claims that these measures will not be feasible to stop the spread of those animals. She uses three specific ideas to oppose the main measures of the reading passage, as presented below.

First of all, she points (OUT) that the young cane toads and cane toad eggs are living in the strings(STREAMS) or the lacks(???). They will be carried from one side to the other sides(删了sides) by the water in those strings or lacks. Therefore, the fence cannot prevent cane toads from moving into other parts of Australia. It is opposite with the reading passage.

Second, she holds that the cane toad cannot be easily captured and destroyed by volunteers who without professional training. Instead of destroy the cane toads, those volunteers who do not receive the profession training, may destroy another frog species.This kind of frog looks like the cane toads, especially the young cane toads. And this kind of frogs have already(been) in danger. Therefore the reading is wrong to suggests that cane toads can easily be captured by hand.

Last but not least, contradicting to what is stated in the reading that a disease-causing virus will not harm most of the infected species, the professor argues that it can attract(affect) the native cane toads in American which is one part of the local ecosystem. She explains that the cane toads which infect by this virus might be taken to other places by scientists or other persons. So, this method cannot be feasible.

羊咩咩yw

TPO17

The reading passage talks about a phenomenon that because of the increasing of human population, the number of birds in the United Stated will necessarily decline. On the country, the professor claims that the arguments in the reading are not convincing, She uses three specific ideas to oppose the main claims of the reading passage.

First of all, it is true that the development of urbanization may exert a negative effect to the birds, but it is dose not necessary mean these activities will harm all the types of birds. Sh argues that the fact is that the expending of settlements provides more larger and suitable habitat for some kinds of birds., and the size of those bird populations become more larger now.

Second, she points out it is also true that the growth of agriculture will harm the distraction of birds habitats but it is not in the way assumed in the reading passage. With the introduction of new kinds of crops, which can produce more foods, less and less wilderness area are converted to agricultural use.

Last but not least, she claims that in the past, the using of chemical pesticides did do harm to the birds. But with the development of science, new less toxic pesticides are introduced to use in agriculture. Besides, there also has a growing trend to produce new type of crops which is genetically transformed can resist the insects by themselves. Therefore, the birds will not be harmed by those chemical pesticides.


9.12  独立
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Patience is usually not a good strategy. We should take action now rather than later.

I disagree with the statement that patience is usually not a good strategy, and we should take action now. In fact, hardly can one define the concept of patience accurately due to the diverse ideas of different people. But as far as I am concerned, I tend to believe that people with patience are willing to spend time thinking about how to fulfill tasks and goals in a logical way with discretion, and it also indicates that people should take action in the right time and right location rather than now.

One of my explanation is that people who are able to keep patient can increase the possibility of success. Doing things in a logical way can help people avoid many unnecessary troubles. That is to say, people can have a continuous  performance without making mistakes,either in business or in society, if they are willing to take a over all thinking before take action. Take Steve Jobs as an example, it is well aware that it takes a long time for him to introduce a new product to all his consumers. High quality and fantastic design of his products tell us that only after a lot of discussions and tests among Steve's team, can it provide us a enjoyable using experience. In this case, patience is the main key of people's success.

Another consideration to my judge is that taking action immediately may result in big disasters. Without carefully thinking, people will make a lot of mistakes. Some mistake can revise easily, but the others will bring serious consequences. For business person, hasty decisions for investments may lead to bankrupt. For doctors, their impulsive behaviour may exert a harmful effect on patients' lives. For teachers, without being patience for their students, they may lose their confidence in studs. Such examples tell us that we cannot take action just because we want to do it, we need to calm down and be patient to make a plan to avoid making mistakes. In this sense, patience is good strategy for all of us.

Of course, we should admit that in some special cases people should take action as soon as possible.  When students feel bed about their performance in school, they should take action now. And when we do not see our family members during a long time, we should take action now. But, after we make all the decisions, we need to be patient enough to take all things down. Therefore, patience is one of the most valuable merits for every person to persue and it is usually a good strategy.

In conclusion, in order to avoid making irreparable mistakes, people should learn how to keep patient in their lives. Patience is one of the most valuable merits and it play a necessary role in the process of people's whole lives.

xeyyxzty

能力有限哈~可能评价的不是很到位

I disagree with the statement that patience isusually not a good strategy, and we should take action now. In fact, hardly canone(anyone?个人感觉哈) definethe concept of patience accurately due to the diverse ideas of different people. But asfar as I am concerned, I tend to believe that people with patience are willingto spend time thinking about how to fulfill tasksand goals（有这个用法吗？还是achieve goals?） in a logical way with discretion, and it(我不太清楚这个指代的是什么) alsoindicates that people should take action in the righttime and right location rather than now.

One of my explanations is that people who are able to keep patient can increasethe possibility of success. Doing things in a logical way can help people avoidmany unnecessary troubles. That is to say, people can have a continuous performance without making mistakes,either in business or in society, ifthey are willing to take an over all thinking before takeàtakingaction. Take Steve Jobs as an example, it is well aware that it takes a longtime for him to introduce a new product to all his consumers. High quality and fantastic design of his products tell usthat only after a lot of discussions andtests among Steve's team, can it provide us a enjoyable using experience.(我明白你意思，但是这么写很奇怪~only aftercareful tests can the products, which have high quality and fantastic design,offer consumers enjoyable experience，你再改一下吧) In thiscase, patience is the main key of people's success.

Another consideration to my judge is thattaking action immediately may result in big disasters（不确定disasters是否恰当哈）. Without carefully thinking, people will makea lot of mistakes. Some mistakes can reviseeasily(be found if revised) , but the otherswill bring serious consequences. Forbusiness person-->businessmen, hasty decisions for investments may leadto bankrupt. For doctors, their impulsive behaviour may exert a harmful effect on patients' lives.For teachers, without being patience for their students, they may lose theirconfidence in studs. Such examples tell us that we cannot take action justbecause we want to do it, we need to calm down and be patient to make a plan toavoid making mistakes. In this sense, patience is good strategy for all of us.
貌似这两段都是在说mistakes吧~区分不是很明显~个人意见
Of course, we should admit that in some special cases peopleshould take action as soon as possible.  When students feel bed（don’t satisfy with their performance） abouttheir performance in school, they should take action nowàimmediately. And when we do not see our family members during a longtime, we should take action nowàimmediately/ without hesitation. But, after we make all the decisions, we needto be patient enough to take allthings down（什么意思？）.Therefore, patience is one of the most valuable merits for every person topersue and it is usually a good strategy.

In conclusion, in order to avoid makingirreparable mistakes, people should learn how to keep patient in their lives.Patience is one of the most valuable merits and it plays a necessary rolein the process of people's whole lives.



觉得说理的部分不是很convincing~
然后句子有各种小错误~

tracyn

TPO17



The reading passage talks about a phenomenon that because of the increaseing of human population, the number of birds in the United Stated will necessarily decline. On the country, the professor claims that the arguments in the reading are not convincing, She uses three specific ideas to oppose the main claims of the reading passage.



First of all, it is true that the development of urbanization may exert a negative effect to on the birds, but it is dose not necessary mean these activities will harm all the types of birds这句话有点奇怪. She argues that the fact is that the expendingexpanding(这个词能不能这么用不太清楚耶~~) of settlements provides more larger and more suitable habitats for some kinds of birds., and the size of those bird populations become more larger now.



Second, she points out that it is also true that the growth of agriculture will harm the distractionof birds’ habitats, but it is not in the way assumed in the reading passage. With the introduction of new kinds of crops, which can produce more foods, less and less wilderness areas are converted to agricultural use ones.



Last but not least, she claims that in the past, the usingusage of chemical pesticides did do harm to the birds. But with the development of science, new less toxic 这样的话最好把一个形容词变成从句 pesticides are introduced to use in agriculture. Besides, there also hasis a growing trend to produce new type of crops which isare genetically transformed and can resist the insects by themselves. Therefore, the birds will not be harmed by those chemical pesticides.



内容方面基本没什么问题啦～～

羊咩咩yw

9. 13 独立

Colleges and universities should offer students a better job preparation before they start working.

In recent years, the idea that offering students a better job preparation before they start working has gained increasing support in most places of China. Some people even argue that in order to find ideal jobs after graduation, students should choose more  preparation courses instead of traditional subjects in the last year of college. I totally agree with them.

The main reason to provide students a better job preparation is that they can adapt themselves to a new environment during a short time, which will help them build their confidence in future work. Most student, if not all , are protected by parents and teachers in school for at least 20 years, so they do not know how to encounter the troubles and challenges along in a working environment, or, in some cases,  they do not know how to keep a good relationship with colleges and supervisors. A good job preparation can provide them some feasible methods to solve those problems and build a positive working attitude.  Take my experience as an example, I still remembered 4 years ago I had a wonderful experience in my first job. Based on the knowledge and practical skills learning form my university, I can communicate with my colleagues effectively, with their help, I complete all my jobs in a short time with high quality. It is the job preparation that  give me an opportunity to learn how to process all the things related to work.


Another consideration to my judge is that universities can also benefit form offering students a better job preparation. If most of college's students can find their ideal jobs, this will boost the school's reputation among its potential applicants. As a result , universities can enroll more better students who can bring those school a long term benefit. According to a recent research in the Internet with 2500 excellent students in middle school, over 90 percent of them tend to choose a shool with high reputation of employment rate. Therefore, it is necessary for a university to provide job preparation to students.

To sum up, students, it is thought, benefit from the professional assistance of professor, the positive studying environment of campus, and, the most important one, the excellent job preparation from universities. So, we should call upon all the universities to give students a better job transition course in their last stop in school.

bonfin

修改 9. 13 独立
修改 Colleges and universities should offer students a better job preparation before they start working.

In recent years, the idea that offering students a better job preparation before they start working has gained increasing support in most places of China. Some people even argue that in order to find ideal jobs after graduation, students should choose more preparation courses instead of traditional subjects in the last year of college. I totally agree with them.

The main reason to provide students a better job preparation is that they can adapt themselves to a new environment during a short time, which will help them build their confidence in future work. Most student（students）, if not all , are protected by parents and teachers in school for at least 20 years, so they do not know how to encounter the troublesand challenges（改为how to deal with the troubles and challenges they encounter //因为不是怎样遭遇困难，而是怎样解决遭遇的困难，我这么认为哈） along in a working environment, or, in some cases, they do not know how to keep a good relationship with colleges and supervisors. A good job preparation can provide them some feasible methods to solve those problems and build a positive working attitude. Take my experience as an example, I still remembered 4 years ago I had a wonderful experience in my first job. Based on the knowledge and practical skills learning form my university, I can communicate with my colleagues effectively, with their help, I complete all my jobs in a short time with high quality. (这句话是完整的，前面最好用句号)It is the job preparation that give（gives） me an opportunity to learn how to process all the things related to work.


Another consideration to my judge is that universities can also benefit form (from) offering students a better job preparation. If most of college's students can find their ideal jobs, this will boost the school's reputation among its potential applicants. As a result , universities can enroll more better students who can bring those school a long term benefit. According to a recent research in the Internet with 2500 excellent students in middle school, over 90 percent of them tend to choose a shool with high reputation of employment rate. Therefore, it is necessary for a university to provide job preparation to students.

To sum up, students, it is thought, （建议写为it is thought that students）benefit from the professional assistance of professor, the positive studying environment of campus, and, the most important one, the excellent job preparation from universities. So, we should call upon all the universities to give students a better job transition course in their last stop in school.

文章的构思不错，论点比较独特~有些建议修改的地方可以再讨论哈，毕竟只是我的想法啦~