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211#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-8-1 11:23:29 | 只看该作者
TPO 22
The author of the reading text states that ethanol fuel is not an ideal alternative to gasoline for three reasons. On the contrary, the professor in the lecture does not agree with those points from the critics of the production of ethanol. He argues that the three reasons in the reading text are not convincing at all.

First, the professor explains that though the burning of ethanol does release carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, the process of producing ethalol counteracts the release of corbin dioxide. The reason is that ethanol is made from plants such as corn and so forth, and these plants need carbon dioxide as a part of their nutrient. Thus, growing plants actually absorb carbon dioxide from atmosphere. This would counteract with the release of burning ethanol. Therefore, the first reason in the reading text is disputed.

Second, the professor states that the production ethanol will not reduce the food supply of animals. The reason is that producers use one part of the corn, which are plants' cell walls, to produce ethanol. And cell walls are not eaten by animals. So, production of ethanol would not reduce available food resource for animals. Then, the second reason in the reading text is totally unsounded.

Third, the professor positively believe that the price of ethanol would drop. He says that producers of ethanol will not need government subsides if they increase the amount of production. He further explains that the price will go down by 40% if the production of ethanol is three times as many as before. Thus, the third reason in the reading is directly denied by the professor.
212#
发表于 2012-8-1 15:46:48 | 只看该作者
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is impossible to be completely honest with your friend.

When it comes to the question of whether people can be totally honest with their friends, different people place
(这个权值是不是也应该diverse)weight on various factors so that their opinions are not the same. As time passes, their may change their view to some extent. Thus, some people think they can be completely honest to their friends because they can disciplinerestrain discipline 只有按照要求训练和惩罚的意思) themselves and do not(not to) tell any lie to their fiends under any situation. On the contrary, others do not think so. They believe that people can not be totally honest with their friends. Their reasons are so many and reasonable based on their own explanations. Personally, from my point of view of a student, I agree with the point that people can not be completely honest with their friends. My reasons are as follows.
阐述论点没什么大问题,不过我觉得(don’t take it seriously)第一段如果光是只分论点是不是长了点,这个是模板吧?有点凑字数的嫌疑?
To begin with, misunderstanding which makes people do not believe their
friends are honest to themgenuine friendsalways exists.(太长了吧快赶上gre长难句了) This situation is very common. Sometimes people tell their friends what happened in details, but their friends can not complately grasp all of the informationbut their friends insist that what has been told to them is fragmental是这个意思吧 then they consider their friends are not honest with them. For example, When I was ten years old, I had a close friend named Mike who livd in the same community with me. We had been friends since we were five years old.  One day I went to his home to do homework with him. After finishing our homework, his father asked him to go out with him in order to buy some food for their dinner. His mother was not at home that day. His father told me to stay at their home and they turned on their TV for me to watch. After they went out, the TV set broke out. I did nothing to it. So, when Mike and his father came back, I told them what happened in details, but they did not believe me and insisted I had break their TV set. As you can see from this example, the misunderstanding between people also causes your friend do not believe you are honest.

这个例子还不错,可是是不是前面的介绍稍微多了一点,陈述过程中简单句,太多了,有点流水帐了,还有you are honest貌似出现太多回了,可以换一种表达justification (warrent)of your honesty?

Moreover, to be
comletely honest with friends is too difficult under certain situations. It is ture that when my friends ask me something, I always want to give them the answers(meet) they need. However, I have my own privacy, so I do not want to tell them about my secrets when they ask things relate to them. For example, I am afraid of stay at high places and do not want to talk about this question with my friends(前面表达了一遍了删去). My situation is not rare, people all have their own privacy. The result is that when their friends ask them problems relating to these secrets, people can not be entirely honest with their friends.

Admittedly, being honest with friends is always beneficial to maintain friendship. People value their friends who have honesty and view them to be trustworthy. On the contrary, sometimes we have to keep the
turth from our friends. For instance, I read a passage from a newspaper that a girl's friends did not tell her the truth of her mother's death. The reason was that the girl had to take the college entrance examination one day later. I imagine that if I were the girl's friend, I would not tell her the fact because this might cause her fail in the exam. More importantly, her mother's will was that she did not want to disturb her daughter too. In this case, it is better to keep the turth.

Of course, some people may argue that they can tell their friends everything despite the result is beneficial or baneful. I must admit that these people is honest, but their friends may not consider them to be honest, and their works also can not be completely
understanded(understood) by their friends. Thus, based on what I have discussed above, it is safe to draw the conclusion that people are impossible to be entirely honest with their friends.

这篇文章我写的时候也觉得不好写,我觉得你的几个例子举的很出色,但是陈述的方式还是学要提高的,有点流水帐的感觉,特别是tv那一段,我估计你自己写的时候应该感觉到了,还有第一段的模板有点生硬了,尽量润色的再舒缓一点,还有尽量使用不同变现方式来表达。

写作思路和结构没有问题,接下来就是丰富句型
213#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-8-1 23:14:06 | 只看该作者
8月1日
If you need to discuss upsetting or controversial problems with others, you will use e-mail or text messaging,OR use the telephone or voice-messaging

When it comes to the question of which is a suitable, effective and accurate way to discuss upsetting or controversial problems with others, people' choices are different. Some people prefer to use telephone or voice-messaging because of their convenience and instant. On the contrary, some would like to use e-mail or text messaging to reveal their cogitation and preciseness. Generally speaking, upsetting or controversial problems often relate to serious topics. Therefore, from my point of view as a student, using e-mail or text messaging is a better choice to deal with this type of problems.

To begin with, compared with speaking, writing gives people more time to do researches, to think deeply and thus can better explain their ideas. When confronting with upsetting or controversial problems, people need more time to cope with it. Then, it is easy to consider that writing e-mail or text massaging is the proper option to solve these type of problems.  For example, once our teachers gave us an assignment which was whether money and power were the symbol of success. However, none of us could persuade our counterparts mainly by talking as the topic was so controversial. As a result, our teacher told us to write about the same topic, to arrange the articles next week. Things became much better next week when we brought our writings to the classroom and read them. Thus, when confronting with some problematic questions, it would be better to use writing to express you ideas.

Moreover, using e-mail or text messaging can avoid some disadvantages that raised from telephone or voice messaging. People tend to behave more emotionally when they use telephone or voice messaging than writing,while using e-mail or text messaging helps to reduce this disadvantage. This situation is common in our daily life, we can see from our surronding that most of the information is wrote in books or on other paper-based materials. Also, people tend to directly experss their opinions when they talk upsetting things with their friends, they do not realize that this may hurt their friends' feeling. In contrast, when people wirting e-mails or text messages, they are less likely to be so emotional.

Finally, writing is easy to arrange and record after the discussion. You only need no more than ten papers when you write down all of the informatin of your discussion with other people. When you want to check the result, you only need to find out the paper and then read. On the contrary, telephone or voice-messaging is difficult to record and arrange. You need some facilities to play and record the information. Also, it is difficlult to record the informatin of your discussion with other people for a long time. In this case, using e-mail or text messaging is more convenient.

Of course, speaking is simultaneous and people can use oral presentation whenever they have some good ideas, but its disadvantages are obvious too. After carefully comparing these two methods of communication, it is safe to say that writing e-mail or text messaging is a better ways to discuss upsetting or controversial problems with others.
214#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-8-2 11:22:10 | 只看该作者
TPO 24
The author of the reading text talks about some evidences that may reveal materials which seem to be remains of soft tissue of T.rex. On the contrary, the professor in the lecture does not agree with the author, and he says that scientists need to be skeptical about their conclusion.

First, in contrast to what has been said in the reading text that the remains in the channels of T.rex are blood vesels of it, the professor argues that there may be another reasons of these remains. He then explains that bacterias lived in these channels long after the T.rex died. And the soft remains might be the residue of these bacteria conlonies. This directly contradicts its counterpart in the reading text.

Second, the professor states that the origion of these spheres may not be the red blood cells. He further says that other fossils found in the same places also contain the same type of spheres, and these animal did not have red blood cells when they were alive. Thus, these spheres are unlikely to be red blood cells, the professor guesses the origion of these spheres may be some redish minerals.

Third, the professor points out that collagen can not be kept for more than 100, 000 years, while the fossil of T.rex is more than 70, 000, 000 years' old. He says that this contradict our knowledge of collagen nowadays. Then the professor explains that the sourse of the collagen may be from the skin of the researchers who handling the fossil, since their skin also contains collagen. Therefore, the idea in the reading text is totally unsounded, according to the professor.
215#
发表于 2012-8-2 15:18:57 | 只看该作者
弱弱问一句。昨天的作业不是 TPO23 么? ... never mind..
蓝色部分可形成模版,红色是修改建议,绿色总结
TPO 22
The author of the reading text states that ethanol fuel is not an ideal alternative to gasoline for three reasons. On the contrary, the professor in the lecture does not agree with those points from the critics of the production of ethanol. He argues that the three reasons in the reading text are not convincing at all.【首段清楚阐明reading 和lecture中的relationship,可以作为模版了】
First, the professor explainsthat though the burning of ethanol does release carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, the process of producing ethalol counteracts the release of corbin dioxide. The reason is that ethanol is made from plants such as corn and so forth, and these plants need carbon dioxide as a part of their nutrient. Thus, growing plants actually absorb carbon dioxide from atmosphere. This would counteract with the release of burning ethanol [and will not add global warming] [我觉得这里最好能提出reading中的point-- global warming]. Therefore, the first reason in the reading text is disputed.【lecture中阐述+详细过程+指出反驳了reading中的某一观点。清楚明了】
Second, the professor states that the production ethanol will not reduce the food supply of animals. The reason is that producers use one part of the corn, which are plants' cell walls, to produce ethanol. And cell walls are not eaten by animals. So, production of ethanol would not reduce available food resource for animals. Then, the second reason in the reading text is totally unsounded.

Third, the professor positively believe that the price of ethanol would drop. He says that producers of ethanol will not need government subsides if they increase the amount of production. He further explains that the price will go down by 40% if the production of ethanol is three times as many as before【我觉得这句话不是很好,如果production of ethanol 不是以前的 three times 怎么办。可以在 “will”前 加“even” 或者 直接说明 随着production 的提高,价格就会下降。】. Thus, the third reason in the reading is directly denied by the professor.
【总的来说,我觉得文章基本上有了个固定结构,过程改写得也很好,阐述明了。我觉得这已经达到了一个高水平了以至于我像鸡蛋里挑骨头。。所以我建议,可以适当变化一下文章的结构,比如,不是三段都以lecture开头,可以用用 what contradicts to reading passage... 另外,过程方面越详细越好,注意每句话在阐述lecture的同时,要有明确反对reading passage中point的功能。】
216#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-8-2 22:25:30 | 只看该作者
8月2日 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?It is often not a good thing to move to a new city or a new country because of the lose of old friends

When it comes to the question of whether it is good to move a new city or a new country at the cost of the lose of old friends, each of us place different weight on various factors. Some people would like to choose live in the same place throughout their life because of their concern of the lose of old firends, while others prefer to experience new things and enjoy a new environment. Considering my own experiences and what I learnt from my friends and other people, I believe that it is indeed a good thing to move to a new city or a new country, and this does not always lead to the result of the lose of old friends. My reasons as follows.

To begain with, moving to new places does not always means the lose of old firends, even better, it can help us to make new friends. With the rapid development of communication technology, people nowadays can connect with their friends with cell phones, internet, and various transportations also can help people move from one place to anther within only a few hours. Therefore, moving to a new place does not means the lose of old friends. Meanwhile, the new environment can give people opportunities to make new friends. As time passes, these new friends will become old friends.

Moreover, moving to a different place far from people' hometown can give them a broad understanding of the society and different perspective about their own life. They can enjoy a different culture and lifestyle which are strange to them at the beginning, but as time moves on, they will become familiar with the new environment. Then people know something new to them, this obviously can help them to expand their horizon. Take my experience as an example, when I left my hometown and went to the university, I felt all the things around me were so different, and missed my home and my old friends there. However, just one year later, I began to adapt to the campous life and felt confortable to live there. I shared my experiences with my old friends, they all said it was interesting, and they wanted to move to a new places just as me. In this case, people such as me can share their experiences with their old friends, and this helps to strengthen their friendship.

Finally, if people stay in one place for a long time, they will lose chances to improve themselves, which are very important for their future. Nowadays, the society is changing quilkly beyond people' imagination. In order to adapt to the always changing society, it is necessary for people to have the experience of living in a entirely new place. One of my friends once had an opportunity to study abroad, but his parents did not want him to be so far away from them, and they worried about their son's safety, also, there were no friends there could help him. My friend, who also did not want to lose his old friends in my hometown, decided to reject the chance. However, years later, when he had an opportunity to promotion, he found that he did not meet the requrement, which stated that one need to have the experience of studying abroad in order to fit the position. As you can see, what a pity that he did not grasp the oppotunity years before.

Of course, live in the place where we were born means that we know other people in our community deeply, this makes us feel harmony and give us a great sense of belonging. However, after deliberately thinking on this topci, and based on what I have been discussed above, it is easy to find that the benefits to move to a new place or country are so many. As a result, it is safe to say that moving on to a new city or country is better for ourselves and does not mean the loss of old friends.
217#
发表于 2012-8-3 00:33:57 | 只看该作者
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

82 Do youagree or disagree with the following statement?It is often not a good thing tomove to a new city or a new country because of the lose of old friends

When it comes to the question of whether it is goodto move a new city or a new country at the cost of the lose of old friends,each of us place different weight on various factors. Some people would like tochoose live in the same place throughout their life because of their concern ofthe lose of old friends, while others prefer to experience new things and enjoya new environment. Considering my own experiences and what I learnt from myfriends and other people, I believe that it is indeed a good thing to move to anew city or a new country, and this does not always lead to the result of thelose of old friends. My reasons are as follows.
(这段是模板么

To begin with, moving to new places does notalways means the lose of old friends but, sometimes even the other way round, Even better, it can helps us to make making new friends for us(原话是两个主句). With therapid development of communication technology, people nowadays can connect withtheir friends with(using? 可以避免with的重复) cell phones, internet,. and various Morden transportations also can help people (make it possible)  to movefrom one place to another within only a few hours. Therefore, moving to a newplace does not means the lose of old friends. Meanwhile, the new environmentcan give people opportunities to make new friends. As time passes, these newfriends will become old friends.


Moreover, moving to a different place far frompeople' hometown can give them a broad understanding of the society anddifferent perspective about their own life. They can enjoy a different culture andlifestyle which are strange to them at the beginning, but as time moves on,they will become familiar with the new environment. (这个but转折在逻辑上不太通。他们enjoy了本来陌生的culturelifestyle 但是他们会熟悉新环境?People may feel lonely in a new environmentwith different culture or lifestyle at the beginning, but as time goes on, theywill become integrated into the new community.) Then people know (learn) something brand new to them, this(which) obviously can help them to expand their horizon. Take my experience asan example,(“:”不是”,” 否则又是一个句子中出现两个谓语动词)when I left my hometown and went to theuniversity, I felt all the things around me were so strange and different, (.) I became homesickand missed my home family and my oldfriends there so much in my hometown.  However, just (only) one year later, I began to adapt(adapted) to the campus life and felt comfortable to live there(I adapted to the new city and felt quiteenjoyable of campus life only one year later.). When I shared my experiences with my old friends,they all said it was interesting, were so interested that they wanted some of them evenwanted to moveto a new places (又用a又用复数?)just as me. (本来的句子含了三个主句?这样改有从句有递进J)  In this case, people such as me can sharetheir experiences with their old friends, and this helps to strengthen theirfriendship.
In this case, our friendship wasstrengthened, rather than weakened, by sharing interesting experiences in newplace.

Finally, if people stay in one place for a longtime, they will lose chances to improve themselves, which are very importantfor their future. Nowadays, the society is changing quickly beyond people'imagination. In order to adapt to the always changing society, it is necessaryfor people to have (obtain/gainis better?) the experience ofliving in an entirely new place. One of my friends once had an opportunity tostudy abroad, but hisparents did not want him to be so far away from them, and they worried abouttheir son's safety, also, there were no friends there could help him(还是主从句问题原句看得我凌乱了but his parents were so worried about his safety in such a far awaycountry that they did notwant him to leave). Myfriend, who also did not want to lose his old friends in my hometown, decidedto reject the chance finally. However, several yearslater, when he had(got) an opportunity to promotion(be promoted), he found that he did not(failed to) meet the requirement, which stated that oneneed to have the experience of studying abroad in order to fit the position. Asyou can see, what a pity that he did not grasp the opportunity years before.


Of course, live in the place where we were bornmeans that we know other people in our community deeply, this(which) makes us feel harmony and gives us a great sense ofbelonging. However, after deliberately thinking on this topic, and based onwhat I have been discussed above(模板?感觉很突兀而且拗口), it is easy to find that the benefits to move to a new place orcountry are so manynumerous. As aresult, it is safe to say that moving on to a new city or country is better forourselves and does not mean the loss of old friends.

668…好长啊。作为一个独立作文fair的人,心里底气不足啊。
有些明显的单词拼写错误我没有更正,word自动更正下很方便。全篇friend打错的最多
个人感觉主要是句式上需要改进。经常出现一句话里两个主句。基本上都是Sb. do sth. ,其实稍微改一下变成sth is done by sb就丰富句式。还有经常用this,把剧中的this想办法都换成whichwhowhere就可以了。
感觉模板的词汇以及句式明显比正文高级,不知道是不是我的胡乱猜测。
文章的结构,论证的展开都比我强太多了。惭愧啊。学习了J
218#
发表于 2012-8-3 00:46:53 | 只看该作者
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误
The author of the reading text talks aboutsome evidences that may reveal materials which seem to be remains of softtissue of T.rex. On the contrary, the professor in the lecture does not agreewith the author, and he says that scientists need to be skeptical about theirconclusion.
First, in contrast to what has been said inthe reading text that the remains in the channels of T.rex are blood vessels ofit, the professor argues that there may be anotherreasons other reasons/another reason注意单复数】 ofthese remains. He then explains that bacteria lived in these channels longafter the T.rex died. And Thus/Therefore thesoft remains might be the residue of these bacteria colonies. This directlycontradicts its counterpart in the reading text.
Second, the professor states that the originof these spheres may not be the red blood cells. He further says that otherfossils found in the same places also contain the same type of spheres, and thisanimal did not have red blood cells when they were alive. Thus, these spheresare unlikely unnecessarily to bered blood cells; the professor guesses speculates the originof these spheres may be some reddish minerals.
Third, the professor points out that collagen cannotbe kept for more than 100, 000 years, while the fossil of T.rex is more than70, 000, 000 years' old. He says that this contradict our knowledge of collagennowadays. Then the professor explains that the source of the collagen may befrom the skin of the researchers who handling the fossil, since their skin alsocontains collagen. Therefore, the idea in the reading text is totally unfounded,according to the professor.
219#
发表于 2012-8-3 09:34:52 | 只看该作者
81
If you need to discuss upsetting or controversial problems with others, you will use e-mail or text messagingOR use the telephone or voice-messaging

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误


When it comes to the question of which is a suitable, effective and accurate way to discuss upsetting or controversial problems with others, people'
(s) choices are different. Some people prefer to use telephone or voice-messaging because of their convenience and instant. On the contrary, some would like to use e-mail or text messaging to reveal their cogitation and preciseness. Generally speaking, upsetting or controversial problems often relate to serious topics. Therefore,(感觉这里因果关系不明确,上面那句可以不要)from my point of viewas a student, using e-mail or text messaging is a better choice to deal with this type of problems.

To begin with, compared with speaking, writing gives people more time to do
researchesresearch, to think deeply and thus can better explain their ideas (better). When confronting with upsetting or controversial problems, people need more time to cope with it. Then, it is easy to consider that writing e-mail or text massaging is the proper option to solve these(this) type of problems. For example, once our teachers gave us an assignment which was whether money and power were the symbols of success. However, none of us could persuade our counterparts, mainly by talking as the topic was so controversial. As a result, our teacher told us to write about the same topic, to (and) arranged the articles (for) next week. Things became much better next (following) week when we brought our writings to the classroom and read them(觉得可以不要). Thus, when confronting with some problematic questions, it would be better to use writing to express your ideas.

Moreover, using e-mail or text messaging can avoid some disadvantage that
raised from(caused by) telephone or voice messaging. Generally, people tend to behave more emotionally when they use telephone or voice messaging than writing, while (therefore) using e-mail or text messaging (can) helps (them) to reduce(escape ?这里应该是避免的意思)this disadvantage(避免重复可用drawback. This situation is common in our daily life, we can see from our surrounding that most of the information is wrote (written) in books or on other paper-based materials. (个人认为这句话作为例子不是很有说服力,大部分信息被记录在纸上是为了避免语言上的感性或冲动?) Also, people tend to directly express their opinions when they talk upsetting things with their friends, they do not realize that this may hurt their friends' feeling. In contrast, when people writing e-mails or texting messages, they are less likely to be so emotional.

Finally, writing is easy to arrange and record after the discussion. You only need no more than ten papers when you write down all of the informati
on of your discussion with other people. When you want to check the result, you only need to find out the paper and then read it again. On the contrary, telephone or voice-messaging is difficult to record and arrange, especially for a long conversation.You need some facilities to play and record the information. Also, it is difficult to record the information of your discussion with other people for a long time. (这句话觉得啰嗦,加了半句在前面,供你选择)In this case, using e-mail or text messaging is more convenient.

Of course, speaking is simultaneous and people can use oral presentation whenever they have some good ideas, but its disadvantages are obvious too. After carefully comparing these two methods of communication, it is safe to say that writing e-mail or text messaging is a better ways to discuss upsetting or controversial problems with others.



总结:写得不错,比较注意运用连词,有单词重复,需要积累更多同义词。句子之间的逻辑联系有提高的空间。如果能添加一些修辞手法,文章会更吸引眼球。加油!

注:有些地方也可能有误或不妥当,作为初写作文的生手只能尽力而为,希望对你有些帮助。
220#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-8-3 16:21:20 | 只看该作者
TPO 1
The author of the reading text talks about the benefits of offering four-day workweek to employees. On the contrary, the professor of the lecture does not agree with the author, and he says that this option will not affect the situation as the author suggests in the passage.

First, in contrst to what the author says in the passage that the shortened workweek would increase the profits of companies, the professor states that doing this will costs the company more money, even a lot more. He then explains that companies have to spend money on trainning and buy insurance for new employees, and the cost of medical insurance is same for wokers either they work five days or four days. Also, companies need more office spaces and computers, all of these cost will quicly cut into company profits.

Second, the professor argues that this option will not reduce the unemployment rate as the author says in the reading text. The reason is that hiring new workers is so costly, so that companies would expect four-day workweek workers to do the same amount of work as they previously do. Thus, this will not create new jobs, also it makes current jobs unpleasant. This directly contradicts its counterpart in the reading text.

Third, opposite to what have said in the passage that a four-day workweek will make workers enhance workers' life quality, the professor points out some risks relating to employees who work fours days a week. He states that four-days workweek workers' work stability can not be ensured, so that they will be the first ones to lose their jobs during depression. Then, they will lose the opportunity to promotion because companies are willing to choose five-day workweek workers as managers for the supervision for the entire workweek. Therefore, these benefits provided in the reading text are totally unsounded, according to the professor.
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