婷婷connie的作文帖~勇者创造机会，愚者等待机会

婷婷connie

还是9.4 独立
9.4 独立agree/disagree：an efficient leader will always try to make everyone feel that he's in part of a decision making

In contemporary society, there is a heated discussion over the decision making of a community. Some people insist that the leader must consult everyone's opinion during the decision making, conversely, others stand for the self-determination of a leader. As far as I am concerned, a leader does not need to make everyone in the part of the decision making.

First of all, it is a formidable task for a leader to involve every member of the community into the process of the decision making. In order to ensure employees’ participance into a decision, the leader has to pitch great amounts of energy and time due to the large scale of the community, thus it is a painstaking process. Additionally, group thinking, generally limiting the inspiration and the creativity of group members’ thoughts, certainly lowers the working efficiency of a team. Therefore, if a leader wants to be efficient, hardly can he gain promotion of a case through endeavor made to enhance all staffs’ involvement in the decision making.

Moreover, while a decision making requires professional knowledge from a major, the leader does not necessarily make everyone take part in the decision making. Chances are that the decision drawn in this process is less rational and meaningful, as some individuals lack certain knowledge to put up a wise proposal. To take the physician as a case, when making a decision about the treatment for a patient, he is not supposed to make nurses involved in the decision making, as those nurses have only been trained to look after patient instead of the mastery of some professional medicine knowledge.If these nurses are put into the therapeutic process, they may mislead the chief doctor. Here, it tells us that a brilliant leader ought to depend more on his own judgment instead of making everyone involved when making a major-related decision.

Admittedly, I concede, to some degree, the advantages of employees’ involvement in the decision making. Since a leader is elected by group members and he must consider their emotions. As long as teammates feel that they are an indispensable part of contribution to the goal will they strive for it and the working efficiency of the group will be enhanced greatly. Nonetheless, we cannot afford to ignore negative points within it. Because of the immense cost on capitals, time and energy pitched on the encouragement on employees’ involvement, it may impede the company’s way to thrive. Thus, a leader, devoting in a promising future of a company, does not necessarily make everyone involved in the decision making.

To sum up, everyone's participance into a decision making certainly charges huge capital, energy and time invested by a company and decision based on this may be irrational, thus we can safely come to a conclusion that an efficient leader ought to make a decision largely according to his own views.

瓜瓜不瓜

9.6 独立
In this day and year(还是老意见，婷婷要是确定了那就用), people all around the world are placing considerable concern on the process of solving several important problems such as employment, starvation and nuclear weapons. The information I have collected within last two years leads me to believe that these most vital problems cannot be worked out in our lifetime.

First of all, since some critical troubles are derived from the past, we are not able to figure them out (what they will develop into)at the moment. To take the matter of population as a persuasive example, China is a country which owns the biggest populations in the world. (感觉这句话的to 与主句并没有逻辑关系)Dating back to beginning of the foundation of this country, a policy encouraging higher birth rate was carried out. Unfortunately, the leader ignored possible consequences brought up by this ill-considered policy, hence（hence是副词，不能用于连接两个完整句） the country is faced with severe situations ranging from starvation to employment（鉴于population和statvation&employment之间有一个gap，最好这里能提一下是由于过大的人口导致的，但是英语怎么表达。。我大清早挣扎起来脑子不好使。。想不到额~）. To solve this problem, we need large amounts of time since the population cannot be lowered soon, even if a potent project on planning birth is made into effect.

Furthermore, obviously, we cannot settle down a problem unless its root is discovered and then cut off. For instance, experts are confronting a great challenge to tackle environmental problems. According to them, it is irrational to forbid the emission of greenhouse gases since the country is（countries are） supported by the profits made by industry fields. In spite of so much efforts have we done with the tree's plantation, our atmosphere is (+still)being harmed by gases given off by the factories at the meantime. And the global warming is roaring increasingly. In this way, even if we pitch a mint of investment and lots of energy to certain protection, hardly can we get out of the quandary thoroughly.

Admittedly, I concede, to some degree, the hardship on (介词应该是of吧？)the solving of these problems, yet we are not supposed to lose heart. With the advancement of technology and people's thoughts, （感觉和the advancement of technology不太平行 最好改成 the n. of people's mind, n.我想了一个improvement，但感觉应该还有更好的~）the severity and complexity of these problems seem to be alleviated. Specifically,people in great numbers become aware of the negative impacts on both the society and themselves by raising so many children.And some intellectual are passionately engaged in the advocations. Besides, with the advent of green technologies, we are able to exploit some clean energies such as water kinetic energy, solar energy and hydrogen, and so on. In this way, odds are that we can do more to enhance the protection of the atmosphere.
（这个不算让步的让步段写的挺好的，乐观心态神马的老美最喜欢了）

In a nutshell, considering the analysis above, we can safely come to the conclusion that the most important problems nowadays cannot be worked out within our lifetime. But we must hold an optimistic attitude towards them, and endeavor to fix them out. Only in this way will we get a brighter future. （这句有点突兀了）

婷婷这篇写得挺好的！逻辑神马的都很流畅，木有神马瑕疵

特别是木有语法，拼写的错误，太猛了！！！！

加油加油！

婷婷connie

9.8 综合
The reading and listening passage discuss over the results of rare and important fossil purchase among private businessmen. The writer argues that it is unfortunate, which, however, is contradicted by the lecturer.

To begin with, the lecturer casts doubt on the point that fossils would be less available to the public. To illustrate it, the lecturer tells us that private trade of fossils, instead, contributes to greater exposure of fossils to the public, since public schools and libraries could get fossils and display them via this commercial trade.

Moreover, the writer asserts the loss of scientists' access to some important fossils and thus crucial discoveries.  Conversely, the lecturer presents an opposite view. According to her, those fossils need scientifical identification and tests, therefore those fossils have to pass through the hands of scientific experts at first. It does not necessarily make scientists lose vital findings.

Last but not least, the lecturer undermines the negative influence that commercial fossil collectors often destroy valuable scientific evidence. She puts up with a fact: many fossils remain undiscovered due to the lack of capitals of universities and scientific institutes. Since the advantages of more fossils being disinterred than those of their simply maintainence underground, those commercial fossil collectors should be encouraged.

To sum up, the writer believes that commercial fossil trade exerts negative impacts on both scientists and general public, while the lecturer holds an optimistic attitude towards it.

婷婷connie

9.8 独立
How could an ambitious employer get his company thrive? What is the most important factor in a company's success? What it the best way to treat his employees? These questions are heatedly discussed among enterpreneurs. As far as I am concerned, the improvement of skills of its employees ought to be given the precedence.

First of all, enhancement of skills of employees contributes to the working efficiency. For instance, the Triumph Corporation, which is one of the most prestigious companies in China, carries out a policy to encourage its employees to acquire some pragmatic computer skills. Undoubtedly, the working efficiency is boosted greatly. Specifically, a worker used to write a project by hand and referred to some paper based information in the past, while he is able to type it via a helpful computer, which is easier for him to refine the article and even obtain more related information online. This skill gives rise to the whole efficiency of the company.

Moreover, the advance of skills of employees pitches significant impacts on the process of assisting the employer during the decision making. As employees get trained not only office skills but also their thoughts, thus they are inclined to put forwards with some pieces of innovative and valuable opinion. To take the Yahoo as a good case, the manager of market department once was faced with a quandary about how to expand the Chinese market. Thanks to the company's convention that every employee is offered to the brain-storm program, which practices humans’ thought, many of its employees expressed various solutions ranging the analysis of Chinese traditions to the current economic situations within the area. And those recommendation pour vigor into the manager. Luckily, it ended up with the successful entrance into the Chinese internet market. Here, we witness the benefits of the improvement of employees' skills on a employer.

Admittedly, I concede that some people would place considerable emphasis on other factors such as their working environment and welfares. Certainly, satisfying working spaces makes employees embrace a good mood, and welfares enables them not to worry about their daily life. Nonetheless, those are of less significance compared to the improvement of employees' skills. As competence is a key element for an employee to keep competitive with his rivals at his position, he can benefit a lot from his mastery of certain essential skills. Besides, the better skills also prompt the development of the company as a whole, which in return grants employees greater interests on their office environment and salary.

To sum up, considering all analysis above, we can safely come to a conclusion that the improvement of skills of employees enjoys priority to other factors, for it can benefit both employees and employers.

婷婷connie

9.6 再改
呜呜，感动瓜瓜大早上爬起来改作文~~
9.6 独立
In this day and year(还是老意见，婷婷要是确定了那就用), people all around the world are placing considerable concern on the process of solving several important problems such as employment, starvation and nuclear weapons. The information I have collected within last two years leads me to believe that these most vital problems cannot be worked out in our lifetime.

First of all, since some critical troubles are derived from the past, we are not able to figure them out(现在发展成什么样应该是知道了，婷婷想表达的是有些问题根深蒂固，一时难以解决。)(what they will develop into)at the moment(due to the complexity of the problem). To take the matter of population as a persuasive example, 啊确实！To take China as a persuasive example,China is a country which owns the biggest populations in the world. (感觉这句话的to 与主句并没有逻辑关系)Dating back to beginning of the foundation of this country, a policy encouraging higher birth rate was carried out. Unfortunately, the leader ignored possible consequences brought up by this ill-considered policy, hence thus（hence是副词，不能用于连接两个完整句） the country is faced with severe situations ranging from starvation to employmentwhich are the results of overpopulation（鉴于population和statvation&employment之间有一个gap，最好这里能提一下是由于过大的人口导致的，但是英语怎么表达。。我大清早挣扎起来脑子不好使。。想不到额~）. To solve this problem, we need large amounts of time since the population cannot be lowered soon, even if a potent project on planning birth is made into effect.

Furthermore, obviously, we cannot settle down a problem unless its root is discovered and then cut off. For instance, experts are confronting a great challenge to tackle environmental problems. According to them, it is irrational to forbid the emission of greenhouse gases sincethe country iscountries are（countries are） supported by the profits made by industry fields. In spite of so much efforts have we done with the tree's plantation, our atmosphere is still(+still)being harmed by gases given off by the factories at the meantime. And the global warming is roaring increasingly. In this way, even if we pitch a mint of investment and lots of energy to certain protection, hardly can we get out of the quandary thoroughly.

Admittedly, I concede, to some degree, the hardship on of(介词应该是of吧？)(思前想后，感觉of甚好啊)the solving of these problems, yet we are not supposed to lose heart. With the advancement of technology and people's thoughts the improvement of people’s thoughts（先用这个吧，婷婷也想不到啥好词了）, （感觉和the advancement of technology不太平行 最好改成 the n. of people's mind, n.我想了一个improvement，但感觉应该还有更好的~）the severity and complexity of these problems seem to be alleviated. Specifically,people in great numbers become aware of the negative impacts on both the society and themselves by raising so many children.And some intellectual are passionately engaged in the advocations. Besides, with the advent of green technologies, we are able to exploit some clean energies such as water kinetic energy, solar energy and hydrogen, and so on. In this way, odds are that we can do more to enhance the protection of the atmosphere.
（这个不算让步的让步段写的挺好的，乐观心态神马的老美最喜欢了）

In a nutshell, considering the analysis above, we can safely come to the conclusion that the most important problems nowadays cannot be worked out within our lifetime. But we must hold an optimistic attitude towards them, and endeavor to fix them out. Only in this way will we get a brighter future.（嘿嘿，感觉夸张了）I believe with the joint effort, we can live a brighter life.（这句有点突兀了）

婷婷这篇写得挺好的！逻辑神马的都很流畅，木有神马瑕疵

特别是木有语法，拼写的错误，太猛了！！！！

加油加油！



自批：

1.注意句间的逻辑

2.连词、副词的区别，hence只是一个副词，不能连接两个句子~

gre呀gre

9.5 独立As an old epigram puts, experience is thebest teacher. Since the past offers us with knowledge to slove(solve) problems, it exerts considerableassistance on our process of solving troubles. Therefore, we are supposed torefer the past, yet we cannot learn from it arbitrarily.


First of all, learning from the past makesus avoid committing the same mistakes when searching for approaches to solvethe problem. As the basicprinciples of our society are inclined to stay relatively stable,（逻辑好严谨！） the past shows a good guidance for us. To take my own experience asa case, I used to buy（改成bought更贴切吧，used to do更强调过去常常做某事） a cellphone from thecommercial advertisement played on television, for its low price is compelling.Unfortunately, it turned out to be（加上a）fake one with poor functions except a goodlooking. Since then, I learn（learned更好吧） topay much attention on purchases in case of similar cases. Hitherto, I havenever been cheated again.

Furthermore, since some intricate matters develop（developed）from the past, only if we retrospect these previous days and years could wecome to surmount these troubles. Rome cannot be built in a day, so does a mire faced by people.For example, currently, the matter of employment captures residents' attention（attentions） more than ever. Even though a mint ofinvestment （加上has been）pitchedto the economic field, this quandary still present（presents） heavy pressure on unemployed ones. Underthis circumstance, the government turns to review the past, then it realizesthat the matter is largely due to the boom of birth in last century. To solvethe problem, a policy which limits birth rate is carried out. In return , thesituation of employment gets better and better.

Nonetheless, we must notice that situations is（are）changing now, so we ought not to obey every experiences derived from thehistory. Specifically, during the period of Qing Dynasty, governed by thethought of feudalism, the king restricted people’s freedom from trading with foreigner（foreigners） in sake of the nation’s security. Whilefor the same purpose to protect the country, China now carries out an openingand reform policy, which greatly encourages the communication with westerncountries to absorb advanced thoughts and culture as well as technologies. AndChina is flourishing since then. Here, it sets a good example of learning fromthe past with circumspections.

In a nutshell, considering all the analysis（复数analyses） above, it is time to applaud the certitudeof the retrospection from the past, for it enables people to avoid the samefaults as well as to work out the trouble in comprehensive aspects. As long aspeople be alert to the nuance will they ultimately succeed in solving thosetroubles.


几乎改不出什么错误来，婷婷你写的超赞的！

gre呀gre

9.6 综合The reading and listening passages have aconflict of opinions over people's reading less literature. The writer,however, holds that this trend has unfortunate effects on the public, which iscontradicted  by the following lecture.


To begin with,  the writer asserts that readers who pay lessattention on literature are missing out on important benefits. Conversely, thespeaker casts doubt on it by offering a fact that many online articles scientificallyand politically related are of high qualities. Thus, these essays make it tostimulate people's imaginations as literature does. 我才发现我没听到这里的online

Moreover, the lecturer weakens the notationthat trivial forms of entertainment has lowered the level of culture in public.To illustrate it, the lecturer mentions that a good song or a pregnant moviealso help（helps 就近原则） people appreciate knowledges. Sincethe style of culture, hitherto, has changed a lot, reading a novel or a poem isno longer the only method to get into the culture.

Additionally, the author blames the lesssupport on literature and serious writers. On contrary（固定搭配是on the contrary）,according to the lecturer, it is the writers' fault as they tend to writenovels which are too difficult for the public readers to understand, comparedwith the former literature. Thus, those serious writers gradually lose theirpopularity.

To sum up, the reading material comes upwith several negative effects exerted by the less favoritism on literal works,while the listening material undermines this argument by presenting some piecesof evidence.

写的超赞，几乎没有什么错，而且点也都写到了，句式很多样，不过240个字真的大丈夫？

婷婷connie

9.5 独立再改
As an old epigram puts, experience is thebest teacher. Since the past offers us with knowledge to slove solve(solve) problems, it exerts considerableassistance on our process of solving troubles. Therefore, we are supposed torefer the past, yet we cannot learn from it arbitrarily.


First of all, learning from the past makesus avoid committing the same mistakes when searching for approaches to solvethe problem. As the basicprinciples of our society are inclined to stay relatively stable,（逻辑好严谨！） the past shows a good guidance for us. To take my own experience asa case, I used to buy bought(这点好正确哇，改掉~)（改成bought更贴切吧，used to do更强调过去常常做某事） a cellphone from thecommercial advertisement played on television, for its low price is compelling.Unfortunately, it turned out to be a（加上a）fake one with poor functions except a goodlooking. Since then, I learn（learned更好吧） topay much attention on purchases in case of similar cases. Hitherto, I havenever been cheated again.

Furthermore, since some intricate mattersdevelop developed（developed）from the past, only if we retrospect these previous days and years could wecome to surmount these troubles. Rome cannot be built in a day, so does a mire faced by people.For example, currently, the matter of employment captures residents' attention attentions(老是忽略各种s的问题，呜呜)（attentions） more than ever. Even though a mint ofinvestmenthas been（加上has been）pitchedto the economic field, this quandary still presentpresents（presents） heavy pressure on unemployed ones. Underthis circumstance, the government turns to review the past, then it realizesthat the matter is largely due to the boom of birth in last century. To solvethe problem, a policy which limits birth rate is carried out. In return , thesituation of employment gets better and better.

Nonetheless, we must notice that situationsisare（are）changing now, so we ought not to obey every experiences derived from thehistory. Specifically, during the period of Qing Dynasty, governed by thethought of feudalism, the king restricted people’s freedom from trading with foreigner foreigners（foreigners） in sake of the nation’s security. Whilefor the same purpose to protect the country, China now carries out an openingand reform policy, which greatly encourages the communication with westerncountries to absorb advanced thoughts and culture as well as technologies. AndChina is flourishing since then. Here, it sets a good example of learning fromthe past with circumspections.

In a nutshell, considering all the analysis analyses（复数analyses） above, it is time to applaud the certitudeof the retrospection from the past, for it enables people to avoid the samefaults as well as to work out the trouble in comprehensive aspects. As long aspeople be alert to the nuance will they ultimately succeed in solving thosetroubles.


几乎改不出什么错误来，婷婷你写的超赞的！



自批：

1.各种加不加s的问题，一定要弄明白哪些名词是可数，哪些不可数，attentions, analyses

2.例子中的时态问题 has been

3.这篇文章写得有点超时的说~下次争取提速

羊咩咩yw

The reading and listening passage discuss over the results of rare and important fossil purchase（purchasing） among private businessmen. The writer argues that it is unfortunate, which, however, is contradicted by the lecturer.

To begin with, the lecturer casts doubt on the point that fossils would be less available to the public. To illustrate it, the lecturer tells us that private trade of fossils, instead, contributes to greater exposure of fossils to the public, since public schools and libraries could get fossils and display them via this commercial trade.

Moreover, the writer asserts the loss of scientists' access to some important fossils and thus crucial discoveries.  Conversely, the lecturer presents an opposite view. According to her, those fossils need scientifical identification and tests, therefore those fossils have to pass through the hands of scientific experts at first. It does not necessarily make scientists lose vital findings.

Last but not least, the lecturer undermines the negative influence that commercial fossil collectors often destroy valuable scientific evidence. She puts up with a fact: many fossils remain undiscovered due to the lack of capitals of universities and scientific institutes. Since the advantages of more fossils being disinterred than those of their simply maintainence underground, those commercial fossil collectors should be encouraged.

To sum up, the writer believes that commercial fossil trade exerts negative impacts on both scientists and general public, while the lecturer holds an optimistic attitude towards it.
点都覆盖到了~写得很好呢，加油~

婷婷connie

The reading and listening passage discuss over the results of rare and important fossil purchase（purchasing） among private businessmen. The writer argues that it is unfortunate, which, however, is contradicted by the lecturer.

To begin with, the lecturer casts doubt on the point that fossils would be less available to the public. To illustrate it, the lecturer tells us that private trade of fossils, instead, contributes to greater exposure of fossils to the public, since public schools and libraries could get fossils and display them via this commercial trade.

Moreover, the writer asserts the loss of scientists' access to some important fossils and thus crucial discoveries.  Conversely, the lecturer presents an opposite view. According to her, those fossils need scientifical identification and tests, therefore those fossils have to pass through the hands of scientific experts at first. It does not necessarily make scientists lose vital findings.

Last but not least, the lecturer undermines the negative influence that commercial fossil collectors often destroy valuable scientific evidence. She puts up with a fact: many fossils remain undiscovered due to the lack of capitals of universities and scientific institutes. Since the advantages of more fossils being disinterred than those of their simply maintainence underground, those commercial fossil collectors should be encouraged.

To sum up, the writer believes that commercial fossil trade exerts negative impacts on both scientists and general public, while the lecturer holds an optimistic attitude towards it.
点都覆盖到了~写得很好呢，加油~

-- by 会员 羊咩咩yw (2012/9/9 18:18:55)

惭愧了，其实这些文章很多都写过了，maintenance单词写错了，还有查了一下purchase有名词用法的，所以不用加ing。
咩咩一起加油~