婷婷connie的作文帖~勇者创造机会，愚者等待机会

婷婷connie

9.5 综合
The reading passage indicates that the environmental pollution is the principle cause for the declination of sea otter population, while the lecturer argues it by demonstrating details to support the theory of predation.

To begin with, the lecturer casts doubt on the point presented by the writer that industrial chemical pollutions decrease otters' resistance to infections and cause deaths. Since seldomly does the otter's body been washed to the coast, its body must be immediately devoured by its predator, instead of being killed by those poisonous chemicals.

Moreover,  the writer asserts that other sea mammals decrease together with the sea otter, due to the effect of pollutions on the entire ecosystem. However, the lecturer comes up with a fact: as whales are largely hunted humans, those whales' predators orcas turn to other preys such as seals, sea lions as well as sea otters. Therefore, the number of other sea mammals is also lowered.

Additionally, the lecturer contradicts the writer's perspective by explaining the uneven pattern of otter decline from the aspect of predators. Orcas are large sea mammals that they cannot enter shallow and rocky locations. So this accounts why the number of sea otters within these areas stays stable, conversely, their numbers are less spread in wider parts of the ocean.  

To sum up, the reading material ascribes the environmental pollution to the decline of sea otters, yet the listening part stands for the theory of predation.

婷婷connie

9.5 独立
As an old epigram puts, experience is the best teacher. Since the past offers us with knowledge to slove problems, it exerts considerable assistance on our process of solving troubles. Therefore, we are supposed to refer the past, yet we cannot learn from it arbitrarily.

First of all, learning from the past makes us avoid committing the same mistakes when searching for approaches to solve the problem. As the basic principles of our society are inclined to stay relatively stable, the past shows a good guidance for us. To take my own experience as a case, I used to buy a cellphone from the commercial advertisement played on television, for its low price is compelling. Unfortunately, it turned out to be fake one with poor functions except a good looking. Since then, I learn to pay much attention on purchases in case of similar cases. Hitherto, I have never been cheated again.

Furthermore, since some intricate matters develope from the past, only if we retrospect these previous days and years could we come to surmount these troubles. Rome cannot be built in a day, so does a mire faced by people. For example, currently, the matter of employment captures residents' attention more than ever. Even though a mint of investment pitched to the economic field, this quandary still present heavy pressure on unemployed ones. Under this circumstance, the government turns to review the past, then it realizes that the matter is largely due to the boom of birth in last century. To solve the problem, a policy which limits birth rate is carried out. In return , the situation of employment gets better and better.

Nonetheless, we must notice that situations is changing now, so we ought not to obey every experiences derived from the history. Specifically, during the period of Qing Dynasty, governed by the thought of feudalism, the king restricted people’s freedom from trading with foreigner in sake of the nation’s security. While for the same purpose to protect the country, China now carries out an opening and reform policy, which greatly encourages the communication with western countries to absorb advanced thoughts and culture as well as technologies. And China is flourishing since then. Here, it sets a good example of learning from the past with circumspections.

In a nutshell, considering all the analysis above, it is time to applaud the certitude of the retrospection from the past, for it enables people to avoid the same faults as well as to work out the trouble in comprehensive aspects. As long as people be alert to the nuance will they ultimately succeed in solving those troubles.

fuzhengrui

The reading passage indicates that the environmental pollution is the principle cause for the declination of sea otter population, while the lecturer argues it by demonstrating details to support the theory of predation.

To begin with, the lecturer casts doubt on the point presented by the writer that industrial chemical pollutions decrease otters' resistance to infections and cause deaths. Since seldomly(seldom) does(have) the otter's body(bodies) been washed to the coast, its body must be immediately devoured(好！） by its predator（s), instead of being killed by those poisonous chemicals.

Moreover, the writer asserts that (the population of) other sea mammals decrease together with the sea otter, due to the effect of pollutions on the entire ecosystem. However, the lecturer comes up with a fact: as whales are largely hunted (by) humans, those whales' predators orcas turn to other preys such as seals, sea lions as well as sea otters. Therefore, the number of other sea mammals is also lowered.

Additionally, the lecturer contradicts the writer's perspective by explaining the uneven pattern of otter decline from the aspect of predators. Orcas are large sea mammals that they cannot enter shallow and rocky locations. So this accounts (for) why the number of sea otters within these areas stays stable, conversely, their numbers are less spread in wider parts of the ocean. (最后这句话我没看懂。。）

To sum up, the reading material ascribes the environmental pollution to the decline of sea otters, yet the listening part stands for the theory of predation.

文章写的挺好的，句型很多样，好多句型我也应该学习。
突然发现第一个观点里面decrease otter's resistence我听出来的但是忘了写。。。囧
pollutions 用pollutants 替换可能会更好一些
一些小错稍微注意一下就问题不大
加油！

婷婷connie

9.4 TPO9综合再修改
红色错误绿色建议蓝色吐槽
The readingpassage recommends that fuel-cell engines have several advantages overinternal-combustion engines. While the lecturer casts doubt on it by offeringsome facts.

To begin with, the speaker contradicts the viewshowed by the writer that renewable resources make this fuel-cell attractive.Though water from which hydrogen is produced is plentiful, we cannot use waterdirectly. Instead, the hydrogen is an artificial substance,(这里有歧义，讲座中是指液态的氮气是人工产物，氮气空气里到处都有额。。)Though the hydrogen is abundant in common substances like water, it is not easily available to use. The hydrogen is an artificial substance obtained from a pure liquid state which has to be kept in minus 253 degrees.Thus, the hydrogen(液态氮气哈) isdifficult to produce and store.(貌似的氢气的说...)

Moreover, the speaker demonstrates an oppositeperspective towards pollution problems. Even though the only byproduct offuel-cell engines is water, manufactories which generate hydrogen require largeamounts of energy by burning coal(糟糕我写了可数。。) and oil. Thusthe process duringof (of) production must create lots of pollutions suchas carbon dioxide.

Additionally, the writer asserts that fuel-cellengines will be soon economically competitive. However, consideringexpenditures spent on engines, the situation is even severer. As this engine ismade up of an quite expensive metal, (namely, platinum)the only metal everfound, that enables the chemical reactions to undergo(这个我忘了写了T^T) in the engine, the price of this engine cannotbe lowered quickly.

To sum up, the writer is optimistic about thefuture of this hydrogen-based fuel-cell engine, while the lecturer is passiveabout this engine by illustrating several negative pointsabove(above加个更像结尾我觉得咧、、).

婷婷connie

9.5 TPO10再修改
The reading passage indicates that the environmental pollution is the principle cause for the declination of sea otter population, while the lecturer argues it by demonstrating details to support the theory of predation.

To begin with, the lecturer casts doubt on the point presented by the writer that industrialchemical pollutions chemicalsdecrease otters' resistance to infections and cause deaths. Since seldomly(seldom) does(have) the otter's body(bodies) been washed to the coast since seldomly have otters’ bodies been washed to the coast, its body must be immediately devoured(好！） by its predators（s), instead of being killed by those poisonous chemicals.

Moreover, the writer asserts that (the population of) other sea mammals decrease together with the sea otter, due to the effect of pollutionspollutants on the entire ecosystem. However, the lecturer comes up with a fact: as whales are largely hunted by(by) humans, those whales' predators orcas turn to other preys such as seals, sea lions as well as sea otters. Therefore, the number of other sea mammals is also lowered.

Additionally, the lecturer contradicts the writer's perspective by explaining the uneven pattern of otter decline from the aspect of predators. Orcas are large sea mammals that they cannot enter shallow and rocky locations. So this accounts for(for) why the number of sea otters within these areas stays stable, conversely, their numbers areless spread fewerin wider parts of the ocean.(这样改好一些，意思就是：在海洋中比较宽阔的地方，otter的数量很少)(最后这句话我没看懂。。）

To sum up, the reading material ascribes the environmental pollution to the decline of sea otters, yet the listening part stands for the theory of predation.

文章写的挺好的，句型很多样，好多句型我也应该学习。
突然发现第一个观点里面decrease otter's resistance我听出来的但是忘了写。。。囧
pollutions 用pollutants 替换可能会更好一些
一些小错稍微注意一下就问题不大
加油！

婷婷connie

9.6 综合
The reading and listening passages have a conflict of opinions over people's reading less literature. The writer, however, holds that this trend has unfortunate effects on the public, which is contradicted  by the following lecture.

To begin with,  the writer asserts that readers who pay less attention on literature are missing out on important benefits. Conversely, the speaker casts doubt on it by offering a fact that many online articles scientifically and politically related are of high qualities. Thus, these essays make it to stimulate people's imaginations as literature does.

Moreover, the lecturer weakens the notation that trivial forms of entertainment has lowered the level of culture in public. To illustrate it, the lecturer mentions that a good song or a pregnant movie also help people appreciate knowledges. Since the style of culture, hitherto, has changed a lot, reading a novel or a poem is no longer the only method to get into the culture.

Additionally, the author blames the less support on literature and serious writers. On contrary, according to the lecturer, it is the writers' fault as they tend to write novels which are too difficult for the public readers to understand, compared with the former literature. Thus, those serious writers gradually lose their popularity.

To sum up, the reading material comes up with several negative effects exerted by the less favoritism on literal works, while the listening material undermines this argument by presenting some pieces of evidence.

婷婷connie

9.6 独立
In this day and year, people all around the world are placing considerable concern on the process of solving several important problems such as employment, starvation and nuclear weapons. The information I have collected within last two years leads me to believe that these most vital problems cannot be worked out in our lifetime.

First of all, since some critical troubles are derived from the past, we are not able to figure them out at the moment. To take the matter of population as a persuasive example, China is a country which owns the biggest populations in the world. Dating back to beginning of the foundation of this country, a policy encouraging higher birth rate was carried out. Unfortunately, the leader ignored possible consequences brought up by this ill-considered policy, hence the country is faced with severe situations ranging from starvation to employment. To solve this problem, we need large amounts of time since the population cannot be lowered soon, even if a potent project on planning birth is made into effect.

Furthermore, obviously, we cannot settle down a problem unless its root is discovered and then cut off. For instance, experts are confronting a great challenge to tackle environmental problems. According to them, it is irrational to forbid the emission of greenhouse gases since the country is supported by the profits made by industry fields. In spite of so much efforts have we done with the tree's plantation, our atmosphere is being harmed by gases given off by the factories at the meantime. And the global warming is roaring increasingly. In this way, even if we pitch a mint of investment and lots of energy to certain protection, hardly can we get out of the quandary thoroughly.

Admittedly, I concede, to some degree, the hardship on the solving of these problems, yet we are not supposed to lose heart. With the advancement of technology and people's thoughts, the severity and complexity of these problems seem to be alleviated. Specifically, people in great numbers become aware of the negative impacts on both the society and themselves by raising so many children. And some intellectual are passionately engaged in the advocations. Besides, with the advent of green technologies, we are able to exploit some clean energies such as water kinetic energy, solar energy and hydrogen, and so on. In this way, odds are that we can do more to enhance the protection of the atmosphere.

In a nutshell, considering the analysis above, we can safely come to the conclusion that the most important problems nowadays cannot be worked out within our lifetime. But we must hold an optimistic attitude towards them, and endeavor to fix them out. Only in this way will we get a brighter future.

瓜瓜不瓜

9.4 独立agree/disagree：an efficient leader will always try to make everyone feel that he's in part of a decision making

蓝色建议 红色错误 高亮精彩 绿色行文逻辑

In this year and time(是确定的么？感觉有点奇怪，用times可能会显得靠谱点，times是时代的意思), there is a heated discussion over the decision making of a community. Some people insist that the leader must consult everyone's opinions （不可数）until（改成when更好） drawing a conclusion, conversely, others argue the self-determination of a leader（agrue 可以做及物动词和不及物动词，在及物动词的时候后面跟sb. 或者that引导的宾语从句，婷婷这个用法好像不太对劲）. As far as I am concerned, a leader need not make everyone in the part of the decision making but he has to consider their emotions.

First of all, it is formidable for a leader to reach a consensus among every members of a community. Since people's thoughts and backgrounds vary from each other, they tend to express diverse perspectives towards an issue. Thus itmust take a lot of time to get the unanimity within the crowds. If a leader wants to be efficient, hardly can he relies on the debate where people argue heatedly together to reach an agreement, instead, it may(instead是一个平行的提示词，这里前后应该是平行的成分)cause some severe conflicts between persons who share contrary ideas, which even worsen the situation.
（我觉得这一段有点偏离题目了，题目讲的是要领导让每个人都有参与感，不是说非得要达到一致。虽然这段也提到了大家参与进来，但是婷婷argue的点主要是在由于意见的不同而导致的low-efficiency, 不是一个很有效的点）

Moreover. even though（even though 的让步论证超级有效的，只是由于之前那个点抓的不太好） members are able to get a ultimate decision, chances are that this decision is less rational and meaningful since some individuals lack certain knowledge to make the wisest one（one要指代只能指代decision，但是不是每个员工都要做一个决定，决定很多情况是大家一起做的，建议改成put up a wise proposal）. To take my father as a case. He used to be a sales manager in a corporation, and he always wanted to make everyone involved in the decision making process. Once, they discussed about the next year's selling plan, with the effort of a long period, they eventually made the plan which however contradicted to my father's original idea. But he conformed the group's view. Unluckily, it turned out(+ to be)a failure. Here, it warns us that an efficient leader is supposed to depend on himself largely(depend on 改成judge by himself会不会好一点？我只是wondering~~~可以忽略我).

Admittedly, I concede the advantages on （of）the more involvement of an extraordinary leader（这个意思表达不到位，领导的更多参与？婷婷是要表达more involvement这种策略吧？用个strategy来引导一下）, yet we cannot totally be blind to people's willingness. Anyone, even if a genius leader, who ignores this will pay a heavy price.（不是一个完整句啊。。。） Since a leader is elected by group members and he must consider their emotions. As long as teammates feel that they are an indispensable part of contribution to the goal will they strive for it and the working efficiency of the group will be enhanced greatly.
（这个。。。婷婷你这个让步是在同意题目的观点啊。。。不就是让每个人感觉到自己参与进来了么。。。）

To sum up, everyone's participance into a decision making certainly costs large amounts of time to reach a consensus and may be irrational, but a team is consisted by each individual,（这里又在支持让每个人参与进来了） thus an efficient leader ought to make a decision largely according to his own views as well as taking into accounts for everyone's willingness

总评：
婷婷这篇独立我感觉没有写得很好，逻辑有一点混乱。
从第一段看来：你应该是反对观点的，（姑且不看第二段论证有点偏），但第三段你的让步却是在支持观点（应该是让步以后继续反驳）

当然啦 都是我的拙见~~~（捂脸！！）可以问问群里24和鹤鹤你这个逻辑行不行哈

婷婷connie

9.4 独立再修改
9.4 独立agree/disagree：an efficient leader will always try to make everyone feel that he's in part of a decision making

蓝色建议 红色错误 高亮精彩 绿色行文逻辑

In this year and time(是确定的么？感觉有点奇怪，用times可能会显得靠谱点，times是时代的意思)(这个是一个叫羊咩咩的人告诉我的诶~其实就是in contemporary society的意思), there is a heated discussion over the decision making of a community. Some people insist that the leader must consult everyone'sopinionsopinion（不可数）untilwhen（改成when更好） drawing a conclusion, conversely, others argue stand for(各种纠结之后，还是换一个吧，以后婷婷就用argue that的用法) the self-determination of a leader（agrue 可以做及物动词和不及物动词，在及物动词的时候后面跟sb. 或者that引导的宾语从句，婷婷这个用法好像不太对劲）. As far as I am concerned, a leader need not make everyone in the part of the decision making but he has to consider their emotions.

First of all, it is formidable for a leader to reach a consensus among every members of a community. Since people's thoughts and backgrounds vary from each other, they tend to express diverse perspectives towards an issue. Thus itmust take a lot of time to get the unanimity within the crowds. If a leader wants to be efficient, hardly can he relies on the debate where people argue heatedly together to reach an agreement, instead, it may(instead是一个平行的提示词，这里前后应该是平行的成分)（这里不太明白，求解释~）cause some severe conflicts between persons who share contrary ideas, which even worsen the situation.
（我觉得这一段有点偏离题目了，题目讲的是要领导让每个人都有参与感，不是说非得要达到一致。虽然这段也提到了大家参与进来，但是婷婷argue的点主要是在由于意见的不同而导致的low-efficiency, 不是一个很有效的点）（呜呜，偏差了，婷婷是想既然大家要参与进来，肯定要发表自己的观点啊，于是乎形成一致观点就很费时间了）

Moreover. even though（even though 的让步论证超级有效的，只是由于之前那个点抓的不太好） members are able to get a ultimate decision, chances are that this decision is less rational and meaningful since some individuals lack certain knowledge to make the wisest one（one要指代只能指代decision，但是不是每个员工都要做一个决定，决定很多情况是大家一起做的，建议改成put up a wise proposal）. To take my father as a case. He used to be a sales manager in a corporation, and he always wanted to make everyone involved in the decision making process. Once, they discussed about the next year's selling plan, with the effort of a long period, they eventually made the plan which however contradicted to my father's original idea. But he conformed the group's view. Unluckily, it turned outto be(+ to be)a failure. Here, it warns us that an efficient leader is supposed to depend onhimself his own judgmentlargely(depend on 改成judge by himself会不会好一点？我只是wondering~~~可以忽略我).

Admittedly, I concede the advantagesonof（of）the more involvement of an extraordinary leader（这个意思表达不到位，领导的更多参与？婷婷是要表达more involvement这种策略吧？用个strategy来引导一下）, yet we cannot totally be blind to people's willingness. Anyone, even if a genius leader, who ignores this will pay a heavy price.（不是一个完整句啊。。。） Since a leader is elected by group members and he must consider their emotions. As long as teammates feel that they are an indispensable part of contribution to the goal will they strive for it and the working efficiency of the group will be enhanced greatly.
（这个。。。婷婷你这个让步是在同意题目的观点啊。。。不就是让每个人感觉到自己参与进来了么。。。）这一段是在说领导决策的时候也要尊重人民的意愿people’s willingness，瓜瓜是不是理解偏差了

To sum up, everyone's participance into a decision making certainly costs large amounts of time to reach a consensus and may be irrational, but a team is consisted by each individual,（这里又在支持让每个人参与进来了） thus an efficient leader ought to make a decision largely according to his own views as well as taking into accounts for everyone's willingness

总评：
婷婷这篇独立我感觉没有写得很好，逻辑有一点混乱。
从第一段看来：你应该是反对观点的，（姑且不看第二段论证有点偏），但第三段你的让步却是在支持观点（应该是让步以后继续反驳）

当然啦 都是我的拙见~~~（捂脸！！）可以问问群里24和鹤鹤你这个逻辑行不行哈

N只梨花压海棠

In this year and time, there is a heated discussion over the decision making of a community. Some people insist that the leader must consult everyone's opinions until drawing a conclusion, conversely, others argue the self-determination of a leader. As far as I am concerned, a leader need not make everyone in the part of the decision making but he has to consider their emotions.

First of all, it is formidable for a leader to reach a consensus among every members of a community. Since people's thoughts and backgrounds vary from each other, they tend to express diverse perspectives towards an issue. Thus it must take a lot of time to get the unanimity within the crowds. If a leader wants to be efficient, hardly can he relies on the debate where people argue heatedly together to reach an agreement, instead, it may cause some severe conflicts between persons who share contrary ideas, which even worsen the situation.(这个瓜瓜说得对，不是让每个人都投票的那种意思，而是使他们感觉involved。导致low efficiency 的造成更多的是group thinking ，然后再加上这个费事费力,就有说服力了 )

Moreover. even though members are able to get a ultimate decision, chances are that this decision is less rational and meaningful since some individuals lack certain knowledge to make the wisest one. To take my father as a case. He used to be a sales manager in a corporation, and he always wanted to make everyone involved in the decision making process. Once, they discussed about the next year's selling plan, with the effort of a long period,  they eventually made the plan which however contradicted to my father's original idea. But he conformed the group's view. Unluckily, it turned out a failure. Here, it warns us that an efficient leader is supposed to depend on himself largely.（这点可以改成说，在某些专业性较强的领域，领导没必要听从下属的观点，因为他们比较牛掰能见人所不及.）

Admittedly, I concede the advantages on the more involvement of an extraordinary leader, yet we cannot totally be blind to people's willingness. Anyone, even if a genius leader, who ignores this will pay a heavy price. Since a leader is elected by group members and he must consider their emotions. As long as teammates feel that they are an indispensable part of contribution to the goal will they strive for it and the working efficiency of the group will be enhanced greatly.  (这段让步有点偏向另一个观点了，可以在后面加上，即使因为这样，但是还是不是功不抵过。因为让步段的分寸不好把握，所以我一般都直接攻击和我相反的观点)

To sum up, everyone's participance into a decision making certainly costs large amounts of time to reach a consensus and may be irrational, but a team is consisted by each individual, thus an efficient leader ought to make a decision largely according to his own views as well as taking into accounts for everyone's willingness.