婷婷connie的作文帖~勇者创造机会，愚者等待机会

miss绿光

哇~辛苦婷婷了，才发现你改我的独立，咱俩的综合还是互改^^感谢~
我的综合写完啦~等着你的咯^^
http://forum.chasedream.com/TOEFL_Writing/thread-700995-3-1.html
24楼~

gre呀gre

亲~今天我这的网络打不开论坛了，明天回家了再给你改论文好吗？不好意思了！

miss绿光

婷婷的413综合写好的时候告诉我下哈~~

婷婷connie

TPO9 sorry,绿光，写晚了，呜呜！我给你贴这了~
The reading comes up with a new kind of automobile's engine, namely, the fuel-cell engine. However, the listening cast doubts on this new engine with following points.

To begin with, the writer holds that fuel-cell engines show advantages as its power can be derived from plentiful gas and water. Conversely, the lecturer argues that hydrogen is not easily available as it is made from purified liquid with a series procedures.  Besides, the hydrogen must be saved in a very cold environment.  Thus, it is neither convenient to produce nor store.  

Moreover, the writer support this new engine because of its no-pollution burning product. But the narrator take it into a deeper analysis. She says, as hydrogen is made from purified water, it needs quantities of energy from burning coal or oil. Though the car is not pollutant, the factory which produces hydrogen do pollute the atmosphere.

Last but not least, the author think it is economically competitive, with less money cost to operate a fuel-cell engine. On the contrary, the professor put out her opposite views. On the one hand, the manufacture charges people exorbitantly from hydrogen which is a painstaking work to a mass produce. On the other hand, the medal used on the engine is too expensive as they must store hydrogen. Instead, the professor puts forward a new power: electricity.

miss绿光

看见了！开改~
===================
The reading comes up with a new kind of automobile's engine, namely, the fuel-cell engine. However, the listening cast doubts on this new engine with following points.

To begin with, the writer holds that fuel-cell engines show advantages as its power can be derived from plentiful gas and water. Conversely, the lecturer argues that hydrogen is not easily available as it is made from purified liquid with a series procedures.  Besides, the hydrogen must be saved in a very cold environment. [需要elaborate technology]Thus, it is neither convenient to produce nor store.  

Moreover, the writer support supports this new engine because of its no-pollution burning product. But the narrator take it into a deeper analysis that is completely opposed to the writer [我加的，更可以表现出disagree，对比地更明显一些]. She says, as hydrogen is made from purified water, it needs quantities of [补充用法：可接不可数＆可数] energy from burning coal or oil. Though the car is not pollutant, the factory which produces hydrogen do does pollute the atmosphere.

Last but not least, the author think thinks it [最好明确说出是hydrogen-based engine] is economically competitive, with less money cost to operate a fuel-cell engine. On the contrary, the professor put puts out her opposite views. On the one hand, the manufacture charges people exorbitantly from hydrogen which is a painstaking work to a mass produce. [这句的单词和结构都很好，只是以前有人改的时候说，不要对听力文章进行过多的改写，会让别人以为你听的不真切才用自己的句子~你权衡下哈~] On the other hand, the medal metal used on the engine is too expensive as they must store hydrogen. Instead, the professor puts forward a new power: electricity.[这句感觉理解错了：原文是Without the platinum components in the engine, the hydrogen doesn’t undergo the chemical reaction that produces the electricity to power the automobile. 你这里的表达有点像professor又提出了一种新方法是beneficial的]
1. 表示对比的词用的比较多，学习了，我现在光用however了
2. 字数是223字，可以再多一些~
3. 注意下单复数^^

婷婷connie

TPO9
The reading comes up with a new kind of automobile's engine, namely, the fuel-cell engine. However, the listening cast doubts on this new engine with following points.

To begin with, the writer holds that fuel-cell engines show advantages as its power can be derived from plentiful gas and water. Conversely, the lecturer argues that hydrogen is not easily available as it is made from purified liquid with a series procedures.  Besides, the hydrogen must be saved in a very cold environment.  Thus, it is neither convenient to produce nor store.  

Moreover, the writer support this new engine because of its no-pollution burning product. But the narrator take it into a deeper analysis. She says, as hydrogen is made from purified water, it needs quantities of energy from burning coal or oil. Though the car is not pollutant, the factory which produces hydrogen do pollute the atmosphere.

Last but not least, the author think it is economically competitive, with less money cost to operate a fuel-cell engine. On the contrary, the professor put out her opposite views. On the one hand, the manufacture charges people exorbitantly from hydrogen which is a painstaking work to a mass produce. On the other hand, the medal used on the engine is too expensive as they must store hydrogen. Instead, the professor puts forward a new power: electricity.

miss绿光

我在94楼给你改的啦~
PS,帮晨依宣传一个~
http://forum.chasedream.com/TOEFL_Writing/thread-702988-1-1.html
这个是TPO24综合写作的解析整理版~

gre呀gre

前天的独立作文，不好意思才改好Incontemporary society, an increasing number of people are aware of theimportance of the youth. Though, most of they(them)still rely partly on their parents, it is crucial for people to regardthe young group as the main force to contribute to the future society. And mystandpoints are as follows.


To begin with,the body-building decision made by the adolescence（如果想说青春期的时候应该把by改成in，如果想说一类人，应该把adolescence换成adolescent，看后面用的是单数，还是改成in好一些~） is of salient significance in thefuture society. It is commonly supported that the fundamentality of maintaininghealth plays a dispensable role in both current and following society. However,since the advent of computer, young individuals gradually form a negativesedentary lifestyle which may lead to poor health. Then, people should call forthe young to make a correct decision towards exercise. Only in this way willthe country benefit from the whole nation's health in the future. So, it isobvious that young man nowadays effect on the decisions which are connectedwith the future of the society.

Besides, thevirtues and morality the youth hold in his mind determines （determine）how the society develops in thefuture. Take a Chinese thinker and social philosopher Confucius as a goodexample. When he was young, Confucius had made a firm decision of being devotedto the country. Therefore, he cultivated a good habit of reading books as wellas analyzing governmental policies, which enables（enabled） him to put forward someconvincing arguments. Hence, he was valued highly by the king and he did makeexceptable(exceptional) contribution to thecounty. Thus, we can figure out that a young man's thought just means theprocess of the future society.  

I concede thatmid-age individuals count on the social issues to some degree. But how comewhen they get too older to manage these complex affairs in 30 years? Duringthis period of 30 years, young people who amass adequate experience havealready got well prepared for their tasks. In this sense（case，没有sense这个用法）, young men take over theirpredecessors' place and become mainly involved in those vital events of bothdomestic and international events, such as signing a contact with foreigncountries, or operating a giant international company. So you see, the youngpeople nowadays exert great influence on the decisions which related to thefuture society closely.

Considering allanalysis above, for young people nowadays make some certain decision on theirphysique and thought, besides they will become the main stream of the social river, it isneccesary for people to emphasize the priority of their minds.

婷婷connie

4.17 独立
In contemporary society, an increasing number of people are aware of the progress of our world since the advent of automobile, internet and telephone so on. However, a group of residents are skeptical that whether people feel pleased with the quick tempo of world. My answer is absolutely yes, and my points are follows.

To begin with, as people are more available to get information via technological science than before,they will no longer frown on these painstaking working tasks. Take the online search as an example, whenever and wherever a person click up into a search engine and key in a few words, then he will get abundant information. The amazing thing is, all the searching work is done in only a few seconds, which spares people a great deal of time to enjoy their own lives, like body-shaping or watching movies at a theater. So you see, since the technology releases people from hard working pressure, people feel much more delighted.

Moreover, the improvement of economy enables people to live a higher-quality life, hence people smile in a more frequent time. During the past years, citizens were too meager to meet their basic needs. They feel hot in summer and frozen in winter, besides it is likely they may suffer from starvation. How could they feel happy? On the contrary, with the development of the society, people nowadays each large quantities of money which make the high-quality life possible: people could buy refrigerator and heater and they will not suck in the changeable weather; person who owns a car can reach remote places and save a lot of time; imbibing meat help people keep a nutrient diet. Hence, people live a better life, and they are happier.  

Besides, as the world tends to be a whole unition, people from different countries are able to communicate with each other, which satisfies people's increasing mental need. For instance, a Hollywood hit called Transformer which draws thousands of curious eyes could put its priemire in a developing country within few days. In this sense, people from all over the world receive the same treat due to globalization. By the way, in current world, people will not feel strange when witness an American and an African walking together in campus. No doubts, they will enhance the two regions' cultural combination. Thus, the international communication makes people more familiar with the word and enrich people's knowledge, which offers people much satisfication.    

Some people may hold negative attitude towards this changing world to some degree, but when considering into depth, we get the improvement of these aspects: information, economy, and communication. Thus, it is our great opportunity to live in this world and we really share a happy and rich life.

婷婷connie

4.17 综合
The topic is whether private collectors are supposed to purchase fossils. The reading material holds negative attitudes towards those private collectors' behavior. Conversely,  the listening part casts doubts on it, she argues that the points which reading material holds are greatly exaggerated.



To begin with, the writer thinks fossils should be donated to museums, but the lecturer refutes it. According to the lecturer, collecting fossils privately does not mean less exposure to the public. Instead,the public benefit a lot from these commercial fossils exposures.(这一点木有听得太明白)

Besides, the author says, private fossil collection makes scientists lose access to some of the most important fossils and miss out some crucial discoveries. On the contrary, the narrator explains, though some vital fossils are discovered by some person, this person must ask some scientists to be at scenes. Therefore, since these fossils are still pass through the hands of  scientists first, it is not likely to lose some discoveries.



Moreover, the writer wonders that commercial fossil collectors often destroy valuable scientific evidence as they are untrained to carry out the careful field work. However, the professor supports that most evidence is simply go under the earth, which is mostly associated with the fossil's location. Thus, these valuable scientific evidence will not be damaged while unearth working.