婷婷connie的作文帖~勇者创造机会，愚者等待机会

婷婷connie

呵呵，谢谢绿光改文~

chasedreamabc

4.17 独立
In contemporary society, an increasing number of people are aware of the progress of our world since the advent of automobile, internet (Internet)and telephone andso on. However, a group of residents are skeptical that whether people feel pleased with the quick tempo of theworld. My answer is absolutely yes, and my points are follows(你是把follow当名次用了么？）.

To begin with, as people are more available to get information via technological science than before,they will no longer frown on these painstaking working tasks. Take the online （the貌似可以去掉）as an example, whenever and wherever a person click（应该用单数吧） up into a search engine and key in a few words（不懂，key in可以解释为键入么？）, then（这个搭配。。。我觉得when去掉吧） he will get abundant information. The amazing thing is, all the searching work is done in only a few seconds, which spares people a great deal of time to enjoy their own lives, like body-shaping or watching movies at a theater. So you see, since the technology releases people from hard working pressure, people feel much more delighted.

Moreover, the improvement of economy enables people to live a higher-quality life, hence people smile in a more frequent time. During the past years, citizens were too meager to meet their basic needs. They feel hot in summer and frozen in winter, besides ，it is likely they may suffer from starvation. How could they feel happy? On the contrary（这个词组可以用来做过去现在的对比么？）, with the development of the society, people nowadays each？？？ large quantities of money which make the high-quality life possible: people could buy refrigerator and heater and they will not suck in the changeable weather; person who owns（感觉这样说好别扭，为什么非要用个人啊） a car can reach remote places and save a lot of time; imbibing meat help people keep a nutrient diet. Hence, people live a better life, and they are happier.  

Besides, as the world tends to be a whole unition, people from different countries are able to communicate with each other, which satisfies people's increasing mental needs. For instance, a Hollywood hit called Transformer which draws thousands of curious eyes could put its priemire in a developing country within few days（few是否定，a few是肯定）. In this sense, people from all over the world receive the same treat due to globalization. By the way, in current world, people will not feel strange when witness an American and an African walking together in campus. No doubts（为何加s？）, they will enhance the two regions' cultural combination. Thus, the international communication makes people more familiar with the word and enrich people's knowledge, which offers people much satisfication.    

Some people may hold negative attitude towards this changing world to some degrees, but when considering into depth, we get the improvement of these aspects: information, economy, and communication. Thus, it is our great opportunity to live in this world and we really share a happy and rich life.

-- by 会员 婷婷connie (2012/4/18 7:48:20)

婷婷connie

4.18  独立
4月18日10211 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes.

Nowadays, an skyrocketing number of people become aware of the fundamentality of early education, since a nation's insistable development largely depends on its yougster. When it comes to the educational approaches, I insist that parents are supposed to make their children learn from their own mistakes.

First of all, learning from one's own faults allows children to easily understand the correctness, which enables them to avoid such miatakes next time. Children usually get bored when listening to the predesessor's big sentences about truth. For children, it is just a simple case and they will not realize that they may commit the same faults in the future. Conversely, when parents make children do things as their own willings, some errors may occur during the process. Then a lesson delivered by parents can actually come into effect. In this sense, it is a good method for parent to let children learn from their own shortcomings.

Besides, allowing children get experice from the fault they have made before encourages children to cultivate the sense of achievement. It is commonly that most parents critisize the kid for doing something wrong. Instead, a informed father or mother helping the child himself learn from the bad results he has caused makes child feel great. Take my gregarious brother Tom as an example, he was a naughty boy and he did not study hard. One day, in class, he was critisized for his annoying behabiors by his teacher then was published to standing for approximately one hour. Finally, he could not help crying. At this time, his parents solaced him and told him that he would make it to be a top student via his effort. Hence, Tom cheered up and he did become one of the top student in class. Thus ,he was proud of himself. So you see, making children learn from his mistakes attributes to children's sense of achievement.

I concede that some children may bring about certain acute problems to some degree. However, since parents take good care of their children, it is unlikely to engender unpredictable consequences. In this ocassion, parents could give the child pieces of advice when the child is going astray,by the way, parents must try to control the whole process of the issue. I believe, with the selfishless donation of parents, children can essentially learn useful points from their own trouble.

Considering all analysis above, allowing adolescence learn from their own mistakes can not only make them easily to accept the truth, but also enhance their sense of achievement.Let us imagine that children will fly in their dreaming world with parents cautious accompany.

婷婷connie

4.18 综合
The topic is about wether the salvage logging is beneficial or not. The reading material holds the opinion that kind of tree does good to damaged forests and economy. Nevertheless, the listening material insists  that its disadvantages outweigh its advantages.

To begin with,  the writer thinks  salvage logging helps make room for fresh growth immediately. On the contrary, the lecturer casts doubts on this point. She argues that salvage logging does clean up the forest by removing the dead trees, however, it does not mean that salvage logging creates right condition for trees, and this tree is not able to make forest recover from the disaster within short time.

Moreover, the author is confident that salvage logging helps minimize the dangers of insect infestation. While the professor refutes the view by showing that: the insect infestation is not the major damage to the forest as the birds, beetles and other insects have been living in the forest for hundreds of years resulting no severe damages to the forest. Indeed, the salvage logging does more harm than the insect.

By the way, the reading part puts forward with an argument that salvage logging has economic benefits. Conversely, the listening part disapprove with it: since the salvage logging is small and cannot last long, it charges people exorbitantly to maintain its subsistance(subsistence). Besides, the tree needs quantities of trained and experienced workers from other places instead of normal local residents to plant this kind of tree. Thus, it is unlikely to offer additional working opportunities for local residents.

婷婷connie

4.12 独立
才改完，龟速
In contemporary society, an increasing number of people tend to move into metropolises. Someone casts the doubt that whether people living in cities are able to attend their families? In spite of the complexity of the city, I hold the point that citizens could take better care of their family members. And my reasons are as follows.

To begin with, the life in cities enjoys(查了下朗文，这词用的好高级啊) more convenience than that in rural areas. Since the rapid progress of urbanization, 24-hour stores, kindergartens and parks are all available, which grant those city workers a great deal of liberty to undertake business tasks as well as （这里用不用加to 啊，语法都忘了）look after their families. For instance, with the help of kindergarten, their children are likely to get thoroughly educated by informed teachers. And this early education lays a firm foundation for children's future career. Besides, a park is a good place tocarry on carry out（这里想表达的是开展的意思，写错了，呵呵）（这个事什么用法啊，求解释~~~）some family activities, such as tennis or dancing. City workers can bring their children and parents to these places after supper.Besides, it is a good place where city workers can carry out some family activities like tennis or dancing with their children and parents （这几句话连着都是短句，我觉得可以把其中的一些连起来，这样长短交错一点~~~）Consequently, their family members receive excellent care mentally and physically.    

Moreover, it seems that people, living in cities earn more, （这个定语从句是earn是谓语，living in cities 是状语吗？）and (在这加个连词有没有那个奇怪了)have the capacity to deal with emergencies. According to the China Finance Institute(CFI), a person who lives in the city（可以适当地用city dweller替换下） gets salary about 50% higher than a man whose house who lives (这个说法感觉不太好) in the countryside does. When it comes to the family affairs, money's function is emphasized indispensable（我感觉用indispensable更好一点）. Take my brother Tom as an example, he lives with his parents in a Chinese modern city. Once, he was verified that he caught a bad heart disease needing a big operation right away. Luckily, his parents held a good habit of getting extra money saved regularly in the bank as they both were highly payed in that city. In the end, Tom survived the severe heart disease. Conversely, what if Tom lived in a meager countryside? He may not have enough money to get a treat and suffer a lot. (后加的)（这里我觉得可以扩充一下，说，想象一下，如果他们住在农村，没有这些钱，会有怎样的后果呀blabla…）Considering analysis above Thus,it is obvious that citizens are capable to give better care of their families.(总结一般是概括本段主旨的吧，那你应该在这句话中加一下，considering本段论点，所以blabla…)

I concede that individuals living in the rural areas, to some degree, obtain the prominence on aspect of spare time over ones who live downtown. However, analyzing into a deeper situation, people may find out the ignorant fact that most of these rural people are just too meager to cover the family's expenditure as the rural areas have not catch up the tempo of economic development, not mention cautious care to their family members. Conversely, when those city-living men make up a rational time arrangement which lists working hours and family hours, they would get a well management of busy work and the family , resulting in the happiness of children and parents.  

Considering analysis on convenience and economy financial flexibility (这个词用的不太恰当，他多指国家经济，指个人一般都是说节约吧), we can easily figure out that people who live in modern cities are likely to give better care of their families.

婷婷connie

4.13 独立修改
前天的独立作文，不好意思才改好

改后：我是一个粗心的孩纸，每一次都不注意单复数和时态的变化……

Incontemporary society, an increasing number of people are aware of theimportance of theyouth. Though, most of they them(them)still rely partly on their parents, it is crucial for people to regardthe young group as the main force to contribute to the future society. And mystandpoints are as follows.


To begin with,the body-building decision madebyduring the period of the adolescence（如果想说青春期的时候应该把by改成in，如果想说一类人，应该把adolescence换成adolescent，看后面用的是单数，还是改成in好一些~）is of salient significance in thefuture society. It is commonly supported that the fundamentality of maintaininghealth plays a dispensable role in both current and following society. However,since the advent of computer, young individuals gradually form a negativesedentary lifestyle which may lead to poor health. Then, people should call forthe young to make a correct decision towards exercise. Only in this way willthe country benefit from the whole nation's health in the future. So, it isobvious that young man nowadays effect on the decisions which are connectedwith the future of the society.

Besides, thevirtues and morality the youth hold in his mind determines determine（determine）how the society develops in thefuture. Take a Chinese thinker and social philosopher Confucius as a goodexample. When he was young, Confucius had made a firm decision of being devotedto the country. Therefore, he cultivated a good habit of reading books as wellas analyzing governmental policies, which enables enabled（enabled） him to put forward someconvincing arguments. Hence, he was valued highly by the king and he did makeexceptable exceptional(exceptional) contribution to thecounty. Thus, we can figure out that a young man's thought just means theprocess of the future society.  

I concede thatmid-age individuals count on the social issues to some degree. But how comewhen they get too older to manage these complex affairs in 30 years? Duringthis period of 30 years, young people who amass adequate experience havealready got well prepared for their tasks. In this sense（case，没有sense这个用法）,(有这个用法的，意思是在这种意义上， 我在听力中学得，汤姆叔叔的小屋那一篇by Harriet Beecher Stowe)young men take over theirpredecessors' place and become mainly involved in those vital events of bothdomestic and international events, such as signing a contact with foreigncountries, or operating a giant international company. So you see, the youngpeople nowadays exert great influence on the decisions which related to thefuture society closely.

Considering allanalysis above, for young people nowadays make some certain decision on theirphysique and thought, besides they will become the main stream of the social river, it isneccesary necessaryfor people to emphasize the priority of their minds.

婷婷connie

4.13 TPO9综合 改改后
感谢GRE这么细致地修改~
TPO9

The reading comes up with a new kind of automobile's engine, namely, the fuel-cell engine. However, the listening cast doubts on this new engine with following points.

To begin with, the writer holds that fuel-cell engines show advantages as its power can be derived from plentiful gas and water. Conversely, the lecturer argues that hydrogen is not easily available as it is made from purified liquid with a series procedures.  Besides, the hydrogen must be saved in a very cold environment with elaborate technology . [需要elaborate technology]Thus, it is neither convenient to produce nor store.  

Moreover, the writer supportsupports this new engine because of its no-pollution burning product. But the narrator take it into a deeper analysis that is completely opposed to the writer [我加的，更可以表现出disagree，对比地更明显一些]. She says, as hydrogen is made from purified water, it needs quantities of [补充用法：可接不可数＆可数] energy from burning coal or oil. Though the car is not pollutant, the factory which produces hydrogen dodoes pollute the atmosphere.

Last but not least, the author thinkthinks it hydrogen-based engine[最好明确说出是hydrogen-based engine] is economically competitive, with less money cost to operate a fuel-cell engine. On the contrary, the professor putputs out her opposite views. On the one hand(这个地方加the或者不加the有影响吗？), the manufacture charges people exorbitantly from hydrogen which is a painstaking work to a mass produce. [这句的单词和结构都很好，只是以前有人改的时候说，不要对听力文章进行过多的改写，会让别人以为你听的不真切才用自己的句子~你权衡下哈~] On the other hand, the medalmetal used on the engine is too expensive as they must store hydrogen. Instead, the professor puts forward a new power his view: electricity without the platinum components, it would be hard to undergo chemical reaction to produce electricity for the automobile .[这句感觉理解错了：原文是Without the platinum components in the engine, the hydrogen doesn’t undergo the chemical reaction that produces the electricity to power the automobile. 你这里的表达有点像professor又提出了一种新方法是beneficial的]
self-conclusion:1.单复数问题（写文的时候彻底的当做复数写了）

            2. 听力有待加强，有些细节抓不住

婷婷connie

4.17 独立 改改后
In contemporary society, an increasing number of people are aware of the progress of our world since the advent of automobile, internetthe Internet(Internet)(查了一下，internet是互联网，Internet是因特网，一个意思）and telephone,andso on(应该加一个,). However, a group of residents are skeptical that whether people feel pleased with the quick tempo of theworld. My answer is absolutely yes, and my points are follows are as follows(你是把follow当名次用了么？）.

To begin with, as people are more available to get information via technological science than before,they will no longer frown on these painstaking working tasks. Take the online searching（the貌似可以去掉）as an example, whenever and wherever a person clicks（应该用单数吧） up into a search engine and key in a few words(在search engine的box里键入关键词……)（不懂，key in可以解释为键入么？）,then（有一个时间先后关系，还是加上吧）（这个搭配。。。我觉得when去掉吧） he will get abundant information. The amazing thing is, all the searching work is done in only a few seconds, which spares people a great deal of time to enjoy their own lives, like body-shaping or watching movies at a theater. So you see, since the technology releases people from hard working pressure, people feel much more delighted.

Moreover, the improvement of economy enables people to live a higher-quality life, hence people smile in a more frequent time. During the past years, citizens were too meager to meet their basic needs. They feel hot in summer and frozen in winter, besides ，it is likely they may suffer from starvation. How could they feel happy? On the contrary（只是跟之前说的内容对比，和时间无关）（这个词组可以用来做过去现在的对比么？）, with the development of the society, people nowadayseach earn(笔误)？？？ large quantities of money which make the high-quality life possible: people could buy refrigerator and heater and they will not suck in the changeable weather;person who owns people who own （果然很格鲁的，之前没有意思到这个问题）（感觉这样说好别扭，为什么非要用个人啊） a car can reach remote places and save a lot of time; imbibing meat help people keep a nutrient diet. Hence, people live a better life, and they are happier.  

Besides, as the world tends to be a whole unition, people from different countries are able to communicate with each other, which satisfies people's increasing mental needs(needs). For instance, a Hollywood hit called Transformer which draws thousands of curious eyes could put its priemirepremiere in a developing country within few days(我就是要表达否定的意思，说明不几天外国的电影就到中国市场了)（few是否定，a few是肯定）. In this sense, people from all over the world receive the same treat due to globalization. By the way, in current world, people will not feel strange when witness an American and an African walking together in campus. No doubts No doubt(我错了，加s感觉这样就更没有疑问了)（为何加s？）, they will enhance the two regions' cultural combination. Thus, the international communication makes people more familiar with the word and enrich people's knowledge, which offers people much satisfication satisfaction.    

Some people may hold negative attitude towards this changing world to some degrees, but when considering into depth, we get the improvement of these aspects: information, economy, and communication. Thus, it is our great opportunity to live in this world and we really share a happy and rich life.

晨依Jacqueline

啊啊啊宿舍又上不去网了...悲催、、婷婷我晚上一定给你改好！！
The topic is whether private collectors are supposed to purchase fossils. The reading material holds negative attitudes towards those private collectors' behavior. Conversely,  the listening part casts doubts on it, she argues that the points which reading material holds are greatly exaggerated(很精确！).
（我觉得这一段第一句概括topic不是很准确，应该是化石交易是有利还是有弊，而不是应不应该买化石。）
To begin with, the writer thinks fossils should be donated to museums, but the lecturer refutes it.(我觉得that idea或者that opinion比it说的更加明白。)According to the lecturer, collecting fossils privately does not mean less exposure to the public. Instead,the public benefit a lot from these commercial fossils exposures.(Details：比如公立学校和图书馆也有能力通过正规渠道购买化石向公众展示~)

Besides, the author says, private fossil collection makes scientists lose access to some of the most important fossils and miss out some crucial discoveries. On the contrary, the narrator explains, though some vital fossils are discovered by some person, this person must ask some scientists to be at scenes(?在现场?感觉说法不是很地道，应该是on the spot吧?). Therefore, since these fossils are still pass(ing) through the hands ofscientists first, it is not likely to lose some discoveries.


Moreover, the writer wonders that commercial fossil collectors often destroy valuable scientific evidence as they are untrained to carry out the careful field work. However, the professor supports that most evidence is simply go under the earth, which is mostly associated with the fossil's location. Thus, these valuable scientific evidence will not be damaged while unearth working.



Conclusion~

首先apologize一下因为各种原因晨依这么晚才改完。婷婷的作文写得很流畅，词句变化灵活清新，听力的细节再抓一抓就很perfect啦！

婷婷connie

婷婷今天被人绑架了，给我改文的筒子等等吧，谢谢啦