婷婷connie的作文帖~勇者创造机会，愚者等待机会

婷婷connie

TPO18综合修改~
感觉婷婷的综合写作已经很完美了，尤其是多样的模板运用让人印象很深啊！
In the reading, the writer puts forward three ways to address the decline of Torreya, a type of evergreen tree, which will soon become extinct. However, the lecturer casts doubt on these solutions. She thinks they are unsuccessful and her views are as follows.

To begin with, the lecturer disproves the writer's propose to reestablish Torreya in the same location. She argues that with the influence of global warming, the thrived area is strongly effected: the microclimate of Florida has changed a lot and it is even drier than before. Therefore, the original location is no longer suitable for the tree to grow.

Moreover, the narrator is skeptical about the author's standpoint that moving(move) Torreya to an entirely different location. The narrator believes, since Torreya is transformed to a totally new ecological system like in a northerner place, its population will be increased(我觉得可以不用被动形式)at a rapid speed. This may make other species in that system become endangered.So, the outcome is unpredictable.

Least but not least, the writer asserts that research centers are suitable places to preserve Torreya. On(+the) contrary, the professor confirms that is not a(n) idea(l) solution to release this problem. She stresses a situation that trees may catch up with(?) some disease and they can resist the disease genetically by existing together in natural environment. Conversely, the research center does not have abundant capacity to hold such a big population of the tree. Thus, it is unlikely for the research center to protect the tree in the long term.

-- by 会员 晨依Jacqueline (2012/4/24 17:50:09)

谢谢晨依这么鼓励我了，路还很远，一起加油吧~

易雨水巷

红色为错误，蓝色为建议和疑问，高亮为精彩，绿色为总结
The passage is (去掉is) mainly discusses the （感觉the 可以去掉）three damages of the " let it burn" policy from aspects of plants, animals and economy. The listening material casts doubt on those damages. On contrary (On the contrary/In contrast), the speaker insists this policy is creative other than （应该用“而不是”rather than吧，other than是“除...之外；不同于；非”） destructive.

To begin with, the author declares that Yellowstone fires caused tremendous damage to the parks (park’s) trees and other vegetation.Conversely, the narrator disproves this point. She argues: （用：还是that..）since a great deal of new plants were cultivated after the big fire, besides, （貌似不能连两个句子？and ？）the certain lands were more suitable for plants to grow, thus the vegetation was more diverse than before.Moreover, the writer asserts that the park wildlife was also affected. However the narrator refutes that by proving the fact that more species such as rabbits came into blossom for the fire created pivotal living conditions for those creatures: the ideal habitats for them and made food chains stronger.（如果and连结的是两个词组，应该用a stronger food chains比较好？）

Furthermore, the writer stresses the negative influence on the local economy due to the less tourist attraction（应该是number 不是指的吸引力）. Opposite to this view, the professor explains that its tourists were actually not too many before the fire as the low rainfall or other unattracting (unattractive) sights. but（But）Yellowstone witnesses another tourist season next year after the big fire. Thus the fire did notrestrain its popularity as well as the local economy.
To 婷婷：
婷婷的词汇、听力让易雨水巷灰常佩服&羡慕的说，很棒啦，除了个别小错误（易雨水巷认为婷婷稍加注意就可以避免这些小错误的哦），易雨水巷要向婷婷多学习， rock！

婷婷connie

感谢喵的仔细修改啦，昨天清理桌面的时候才发现这个word，呀呀，我真是龟速
4.18 综合
The topic is about wether(这个wether 为什么要去掉呢？) the salvage logging is beneficial or not. The reading material holds the opinion that kind of tree does good to damaged forests and economy.can helpforest recover from a destroyed fire or a storm. Nevertheless, the listening material (lecturer holds that it can actually result in serious longer term environmental damage.)

To begin with,  the writer thinksreading declares salvage logging helps make room for fresh newgrowth immediately. On the contrary, the lecturer casts doubts on this point. She argues that salvage logging does clean up the forest (just) by removing the dead trees,.however, Thisit does not mean that salvage logging creates right condition for trees, and(actually) this tree is not able to make forest recover from the disaster within short time.

Moreover, the author is confident that salvage logging helps minimize the dangers of insect infestation. While the professor,( on the other hand), refutes the view by showing that: the insect infestation is not the major damage to the forest as the birds, beetles and other insects have been living in the forest for hundreds of years resulting but resultno severe damages to the forest. Indeed, the salvage logging does more harm than the insect.

By the way, the reading part puts forward with an argument that salvage logging has economic benefits. Conversely, the listening part lecturerdisapproves with it: since the salvage logging is small and cannot last long, it charges people exorbitantly to maintain its subsistance(subsistence). Besides, the tree needsto plant trees, we need quantities of trained and experienced workers from other places instead of normal local residents to plant this kind of tree. Thus, it is unlikely to offer additional working opportunities for local residents.



In conclusion, the lecturer insists that disadvantages of salvage logging outweigh its advantages.

婷婷connie

4月26日101030 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People are now easier to become educated than in the past.

In contemporary society, a multitude of citizens become aware of the fundamentality of education. Besides, the quality of education is higher by the introduction of many new devices such as the projector and computer, as well as the teaching methods. Thus, people are currently more easier to get educated than before. I can not agree more and my views are as follows.

First of all, the advanced educational devices promise people to get a better and more efficient education. With the accerlarating tempo of society, it is an inclination for people to aquire more knowledge within the same time. For instance, a computer plays a vital role in the educational aspect. Whenever people open a search engine and key in some specific words ,he will obtain a huge amount of information. The amazing thing is, all the searching work is done within seconds, which spare people more time to focus on other important points on their studies. Conversely, in the before, people had to scout around in the library for something required in his paper during the whole afternoon. Thus, the advancement of these educational device enables people to be educated easier and more efficient than before.

Furthermore, the improvement of teachers' quality gives people oppotunity to digest more knowledge. According to the Darwinism, since the society is moving on, people comfront more firce competitions, especially the teacher. In this situation, most teachers get annual trained to refresh their own knowledge and grasp more rational teaching strategies. Take my own experice as a case, dating back the period when I was a young kid, my teacher was alwaying standing in the front of the classroom and keepping talking without any interactions with students, which made us easily get bored from the textbook. Later on, when I grew up, as the teacher's behavior changed a lot via those significant training. They began to convey the lesson with much communication and also talk something interesting in class to attract students' attentions. This enhanced students' better academic achievements. Therefore, the higher quality of teachers makes people get informed easily,  too.  

Moreover, the demanded 9-year-education policy makes it possible for every indivadual to receive education.With the development of the society, the country has realized the importance of the overall quality of its residents. Then the government ratifies a policy which make people's recieving education legal. According to a recent survey conducted by China Juvenil Education Fund(CJEF), the policy has make education available for over 85 percantages of Chinese adolescents. So, this makes sense to encourage students to enroll in the primary school and middle school, resulting people more easier to become educated than befored.

To sum up, since advanced educational devices and methods are provided as well as the governmental policy, I believe that education industry certainly must be in blossom in the future.

婷婷connie

4.26 综合
The topic is mainly concerned about the use of the ethanol fuel. The reading casts doubt on advantages of this new fuel, but listening thinks the points of reading is unconvincing.

To begin with, the writers argues that the increased use of ethanol fuel has nothing to do with the environmental problems of global warming. On the contrary, the lecturer refutes this view by illustrating that ethanol fuel does reduce the release of carbon dioxide by the plantation of vegetation. Specifically, the ethanol fuel is made from plants which absorb carbon dioxide as a part of nutrients. Thus, the use of this new fuel makes contribution to the reduction of global warming.

Moreover, the lecturer disproves the writer's idea that ethanol fuel makes the amount of plants available for uses other than fuel. Instead, the writer asserts: though the ethanol fuel comes from  plants, it does not mean the decline of the certain plants which are used to feed farm animals, because the ethanol actually is made from another plant which animals cannot eat. Therefore, the ethanol does not lead to plants not accessible for animals to eat.

Besides, opposite to the writer's standpoint, the lecturer holds that the ethanol fuel will compete with gasoline financially in the future. Nowadays, the ethanol fuel, whose price is 3 times greater than that of the gasoline, receives government subsities because of its unpopularity. Since people gradually come to buy this fuel, its price may drop by 40 percentages in the future.

To sum up, the lecturer is favor of the use the ethanol fuel, and he believes the benefits outweigh its negative effects, exactly different from the writer's opinion.

婷婷connie

4.28 独立
4月28日110402 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students should be more focused on the development of graduates than on the fame of professors when choosing university.

In contemporary society, a multitude of people become aware of the fundamentality of attending a university. When it comes to the option, people hesitate whether the development of graduates or the fame of professors is more important. My answer is the former.



To begin with, the university which emphasizes the improvement of students' health makes students defeat others in the process of employment. The current fiercer competition demands the promise of the competitor's health. In order to gain high employment rate for the graduates, this unversity must encourage students to exercise regularly. Take my bother Tom as an example, he was in a military university. He got up at half past five every morning, then he would do some running and students each term in the university had to pass a strict physical examination. In this way, he was able to compete others when searching jobs. Thus, the student-health-concerned university actually makes its graduates more competitive in job hunting.



Besides, the university which pays much attention to students' social skills tends to light their students' future. This university generally offers students quantities of internship opportunities. When students take part in those intern work, they get the real experience of their future career, for example, the relationship between boss and fellows.This internship undoubtedly teaches students a lot. Additionally, as university enhances the establishment of diverse clubs, like English corner, chess club and dance association, students can gain more chance to talk and share with others. It is a good approach to cultivate the ability to communicate. So, this kind of university is favor for students to grasp social capabilities.



I concede that some famed professor may give students some specific major class, but it has nothing to do with students' development at all. Though the students are master of their major knowledge, they may not be able to handle other issues out of his major. So, how can they behave themselves in interviews? Opposite to this, the advantages of rounded development stand out. Students of this university have strong physique as well as abundant social experiences. Then it is more probable they will receive the offer from companies and get a quicker promotion.

To sum up, as the former type of university gives people more chances to get a well-paid job via the development of health and social skill, we are supposed to give our first priority to this kind of school.

婷婷connie

4.28 综合
In the passage, the writer holds that an animal fossil named T. rex might contains remains of the actual tissues of the animal.  However, the lecturer thinks it unbelievable, and his view are as follows.

To begin with,  the speaker disproves the presence of actual blood vessels which is asserted by the writer. The writer argues that those branching channels inside may be something else such as some traces left by bacteria, since bacteria may colonize its hollows in the bones when the animal was dead.

Moreover, the author stresses the existence of the red blood cells of T. rex. Conversely, the lecturer casts doubt on this opinion. He puts that scientists have also found reddish materials in some primitive animals which had no blood cells when they were alive, around the T. rex. Thus, the lecturer believes those reddish materials may be pieces of reddish minerals instead of red blood cells.

Furthermore, the writer shows that the T. rex contained collagen matrix. While the lecturer is skeptical about this, as the collagen matrix cannot last for 17 million years' time. To explain, he says that the collagen may come from a recent source. Specifically, the collage matrix belongs to  a researcher's skin, who is handling the bone recently.

To sum up, the professor refutes the remains of the actual blood vessels, red blood cells and collagen matrix, exactly opposite to the writer.

喵喵了个咪

改4.28 独立
4月28日110402 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students should be more focused on the development of graduates than on the fame of professors when choosing university.

In contemporary society, a multitude of people become aware of the fundamentality of attending a university. When it comes to the option, people hesitate whether the development of graduates or the fame of professors is more important. My answer is the former.

To begin with, the university which emphasizes the improvement of students' health makes students defeat others in the process of employment. The current fiercer competition demands the promise of the competitor's health. In order to gain high employment rate for the graduates, this unversity(university) must encourage students to exercise regularly. Take my bother Tom as an example, he was in a military university. He got up(我觉得用一般现在时好点，不过貌似过去时也能用) at half past five every morning, then he would do some running and students each term in the university had to pass a strict physical examination. In this way, he was able to compete others when searching jobs. Thus, the student-health-concerned university actually makes its graduates more competitive in job hunting.(文章的题目是择校的时候要重视毕业生发展还是老师的名望。这段主要写如何提高学生的竞争力，我觉得与题目联系不是很密切，不能突出题目中两点的对立关系。)

Besides, the university which pays much attention to students' social skills tends to light their students' future. This university generally offers students quantities of internship opportunities. When students take part in those intern work, they get the real experience of their future career, for example, the relationship between boss and fellows.This internship undoubtedly teaches students a lot. Additionally, as university enhances the establishment of diverse clubs, like English corner, chess club and dance association, students can gain more chance to talk and share with others. It is a good approach to cultivate the ability to communicate. So, this kind of university is favor for students to grasp social capabilities.

I concede that some famed professor may give students some specific major class, but it has nothing to do with students' development at all. Though the students are master of their major knowledge, they may not be able to handle other issues out of his(与前边they不一致) major. So, how can they behave themselves in interviews? Opposite to this, the advantages of rounded development stand out. Students of this university have strong physique as well as abundant social experiences. Then it is more probable they will receive the offer from companies and get a quicker promotion.

To sum up, as the former type of university gives people more chances to get a well-paid job via the development of health and social skill, we are supposed to give our first priority to this kind of school.

婷婷没什么大的语法错误，我佩服啊佩服。。。

这片文章主要的问题就是第二段的论点与文章不太切合。锻炼身体和择校的原则貌似没有太大关系。

另外结尾和开头是不是有点短呢？？我也不知道长了好还是短了好-。-求婷婷大神赐教~~

婷婷connie

改4.28 独立
4月28日110402 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students should be more focused on the development of graduates than on the fame of professors when choosing university.

In contemporary society, a multitude of people become aware of the fundamentality of attending a university. When it comes to the option, people hesitate whether the development of graduates or the fame of professors is more important. My answer is the former.

To begin with, the university which emphasizes the improvement of students' health makes students defeat others in the process of employment. The current fiercer competition demands the promise of the competitor's health. In order to gain high employment rate for the graduates, this unversity(university) must encourage students to exercise regularly. Take my bother Tom as an example, he was in a military university. He got up(我觉得用一般现在时好点，不过貌似过去时也能用) at half past five every morning, then he would do some running and students each term in the university had to pass a strict physical examination. In this way, he was able to compete others when searching jobs. Thus, the student-health-concerned university actually makes its graduates more competitive in job hunting.(文章的题目是择校的时候要重视毕业生发展还是老师的名望。这段主要写如何提高学生的竞争力，我觉得与题目联系不是很密切，不能突出题目中两点的对立关系。)

Besides, the university which pays much attention to students' social skills tends to light their students' future. This university generally offers students quantities of internship opportunities. When students take part in those intern work, they get the real experience of their future career, for example, the relationship between boss and fellows.This internship undoubtedly teaches students a lot. Additionally, as university enhances the establishment of diverse clubs, like English corner, chess club and dance association, students can gain more chance to talk and share with others. It is a good approach to cultivate the ability to communicate. So, this kind of university is favor for students to grasp social capabilities.

I concede that some famed professor may give students some specific major class, but it has nothing to do with students' development at all. Though the students are master of their major knowledge, they may not be able to handle other issues out of his(与前边they不一致) major. So, how can they behave themselves in interviews? Opposite to this, the advantages of rounded development stand out. Students of this university have strong physique as well as abundant social experiences. Then it is more probable they will receive the offer from companies and get a quicker promotion.

To sum up, as the former type of university gives people more chances to get a well-paid job via the development of health and social skill, we are supposed to give our first priority to this kind of school.

婷婷没什么大的语法错误，我佩服啊佩服。。。

这片文章主要的问题就是第二段的论点与文章不太切合。锻炼身体和择校的原则貌似没有太大关系。

另外结尾和开头是不是有点短呢？？我也不知道长了好还是短了好-。-求婷婷大神赐教~~

-- by 会员 喵喵了个咪 (2012/4/29 9:48:58)

呀，赐教是不敢当啊，我承认结尾写得水了，当时就想着赶紧写完。通常开头引出话题的背景，然后就 直接表达自己的观点就行，这个强调简单、有力。
结尾的时候可以总结之前每一段的TS，强调一下自己的观点，然后展望未来，差不多这样吧，可以比第一段稍多，但是一定要比中间的段少。

探险者

不好意思，这几天未上网，回的晚了

综合
The topic is mainly concerned about the use of the ethanol fuel. The reading casts doubt on advantages of this new fuel, but （the）listening thinks the points of reading is unconvincing.

To begin with, the writers（writer） argues that the increased use of ethanol fuel has nothing to do with（文中说的是不能解决，且ethanol也会造成global warming，而have nothing to do with是没有关系的意思，所以用在这里不合适） the environmental problems of global warming. On the contrary, the lecturer refutes this view by illustrating that ethanol fuel does reduce the release of carbon dioxide by the plantation of vegetation. Specifically, the ethanol fuel is made from plants which absorb carbon dioxide as a part of nutrients. Thus, the use of this new fuel makes contribution to the reduction of global warming.

Moreover, the lecturer disproves the writer's idea that ethanol fuel makes the amount of plants available for uses other than fuel.（觉得这句话意思不是很清楚，disprove作者的观点，that后应当是个同位语从句，修饰的是the writer’s idea） Instead, the writer asserts: though the ethanol fuel comes from plants, it does not mean（觉得有些chinglish的味道，建议用“导致”如lead to等等） the decline of the certain plants which are used to feed farm animals, because the ethanol actually is made from another plant which animals cannot eat. Therefore, the ethanol does not lead to plants（which are）not accessible for animals to eat.

Besides, opposite to the writer's standpoint, the lecturer holds that the ethanol fuel will compete with gasoline financially in the future. Nowadays, the ethanol fuel, whose price is 3 times greater than that of the gasoline, receives government subsities（subsidies阅读中有这个词） because of its unpopularity. Since people gradually come to buy this fuel, its price may drop by 40 percentages in the future.

To sum up, the lecturer is favor of the use the ethanol fuel, and he believes the benefits outweigh its negative effects, exactly different from the writer's opinion.

1.比较了作者和听力观点的不同

2.体现了听力的主要内容，但是细节还需要强化，主要是细节部分，这都是会加分的

3.在文中对“反对”意义的词有很多变化

4.再接再厉

4月26日101030 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People are now easier to become educated than in the past.

In （缺了冠词the）contemporary society, a multitude of citizens become aware of the fundamentality of education. Besides, the quality of education is higher by（如果是表示因为的话，用for更合适） the introduction of many new devices such as the projector and computer, as well as the teaching methods. Thus, people are currently more（修饰easier这个比较级用much，而不是more） easier to get educated than before. I can not（can的否定式有两种， can’t和cannot，中间不能隔开） agree more and my views are as follows.

First of all, the advanced educational devices promise people to get a better and more efficient education. With the accerlarating（accelerating） tempo of society, it is an inclination for people to aquire（acquire）more knowledge within the same time. For instance, a computer plays a vital role in the educational aspect（这里感觉使用area更合适，因为强调的是computer在某个领域的发挥作用）. Whenever people open a search engine and （缺少冠词，the）key in some specific words, he will obtain a huge amount of information. The amazing thing is, （这个句子应当写成表语从句的形式，在is的后面不是逗号，而是that，引导后面的标语从句）all the searching work is done within seconds, which spare people more time to focus on other important points on（in） their studies. Conversely, in the before（可以用during the past或者some years before）, people had to scout around in the library for something required in his paper during the whole afternoon. Thus, the advancement（直接用advance就行） of these educational device（devices）enables people to be educated easier and more efficient than before.

Furthermore, the improvement of teachers' quality gives people opportunity（opportunity）to digest more knowledge. According to the Darwinism, since the society is moving on, people comfront（confront）more firce（fierce） competitions, especially the teacher. In this situation, most teachers get annual trained to refresh their own knowledge and grasp more rational teaching strategies. Take my own experice（experience）as a case, dating back（追溯，date back to或者date from） the period when I was a young kid, my teacher was alwaying（always） standing in the front of the classroom and keepping（keeping） talking without any interactions with students, which made us easily get bored from the textbook. Later on, when I grew up, as the teacher's behavior changed a lot via those significant training（as表示“因为”还是“随着”的意思，都是一个从句，和“since”表示因为一样，不是单独的句子，后面不能直接用句号）. They began to convey the lesson with much communication（communication是可数名词，用many+复数名词） and also talk（about） something interesting in class to attract students' attentions. This enhanced(enhance是加强的意思，感觉用lead to更好) students' better academic achievements. Therefore, the higher quality of teachers makes people get informed easily, too.  

Moreover, the demanded 9-year-education policy makes it possible for every（如果是individual，那么用each较常见）indivadual（individual） to receive education. With the development of the society, the country has realized the importance of the overall quality of its residents. Then the government ratifies a policy which make people's receiving（receiving） education legal. According to a recent survey conducted by China Juvenil（Juvenile） Education Fund(CJEF), the policy has make education available for over 85 percantages（percentages） of Chinese adolescents. So, this makes sense to encourage students to enroll in the primary school and middle school, resulting people more easier（much easier） to become educated than befored（before）.

To sum up, since advanced educational devices and methods are provided as well as the governmental policy, I believe that education industry certainly must be in blossom in the future.

总体评价：
1.每一段之间，每一段的论证都有很好的连接词，叙述的很有逻辑性，说理挺好

2.可以增加些词汇的替换和句式的变换，适当运用文章会更好

3.注意由于打字带来的拼写问题，还有几本的语法错误，要注意改正

共同努力，与君共勉

4月26日101030 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People are now easier to become educated than in the past.

In （缺了冠词the）contemporary society, a multitude of citizens become aware of the fundamentality of education. Besides, the quality of education is higher by（如果是表示因为的话，用for更合适） the introduction of many new devices such as the projector and computer, as well as the teaching methods. Thus, people are currently more（修饰easier这个比较级用much，而不是more） easier to get educated than before. I can not（can的否定式有两种， can’t和cannot，中间不能隔开） agree more and my views are as follows.

First of all, the advanced educational devices promise people to get a better and more efficient education. With the accerlarating（accelerating） tempo of society, it is an inclination for people to aquire（acquire）more knowledge within the same time. For instance, a computer plays a vital role in the educational aspect（这里感觉使用area更合适，因为强调的是computer在某个领域的发挥作用）. Whenever people open a search engine and （缺少冠词，the）key in some specific words, he will obtain a huge amount of information. The amazing thing is, （这个句子应当写成表语从句的形式，在is的后面不是逗号，而是that，引导后面的标语从句）all the searching work is done within seconds, which spare people more time to focus on other important points on（in） their studies. Conversely, in the before（可以用during the past或者some years before）, people had to scout around in the library for something required in his paper during the whole afternoon. Thus, the advancement（直接用advance就行） of these educational device（devices）enables people to be educated easier and more efficient than before.

Furthermore, the improvement of teachers' quality gives people opportunity（opportunity）to digest more knowledge. According to the Darwinism, since the society is moving on, people comfront（confront）more firce（fierce） competitions, especially the teacher. In this situation, most teachers get annual trained to refresh their own knowledge and grasp more rational teaching strategies. Take my own experice（experience）as a case, dating back（追溯，date back to或者date from） the period when I was a young kid, my teacher was alwaying（always） standing in the front of the classroom and keepping（keeping） talking without any interactions with students, which made us easily get bored from the textbook. Later on, when I grew up, as the teacher's behavior changed a lot via those significant training（as表示“因为”还是“随着”的意思，都是一个从句，和“since”表示因为一样，不是单独的句子，后面不能直接用句号）. They began to convey the lesson with much communication（communication是可数名词，用many+复数名词） and also talk（about） something interesting in class to attract students' attentions. This enhanced(enhance是加强的意思，感觉用lead to更好) students' better academic achievements. Therefore, the higher quality of teachers makes people get informed easily, too.  

Moreover, the demanded 9-year-education policy makes it possible for every（如果是individual，那么用each较常见）indivadual（individual） to receive education. With the development of the society, the country has realized the importance of the overall quality of its residents. Then the government ratifies a policy which make people's receiving（receiving） education legal. According to a recent survey conducted by China Juvenil（Juvenile） Education Fund(CJEF), the policy has make education available for over 85 percantages（percentages） of Chinese adolescents. So, this makes sense to encourage students to enroll in the primary school and middle school, resulting people more easier（much easier） to become educated than befored（before）.

To sum up, since advanced educational devices and methods are provided as well as the governmental policy, I believe that education industry certainly must be in blossom in the future.

总体评价：
1.每一段之间，每一段的论证都有很好的连接词，叙述的很有逻辑性，说理挺好

2.可以增加些词汇的替换和句式的变换，适当运用文章会更好

3.注意由于打字带来的拼写问题，还有几本的语法错误，要注意改正

共同努力，与君共勉