小丹尼作文练习贴，欢迎各位拍砖～～

DanielleZ · 发表于 2012-6-14 20:27:01

2012.06.14 独立Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Compared withhiring famous teachers, school should pay more attention to improve facilities.

With development of economical, the government has paid more attention oneducation. Recently, the government in my city grants large amount of money tolocal schools, most of these school use the money to improve their facilities,such as teaching buildings, yields, and so on. It is obvious that schools considerthat they should pay more attention to improve facilities in order to improvethe quality of teaching. But in my opinion, I think that schools will benefitmore to use the money to hiring famous teachers than that of spending money onbuilding facilities.
Admittedly, Better facilities could provide a good condition forstudents to learn. How can students be happy to stay and learn in the school,if their classrooms are too small to hold many students? How can students focuson the lessons if the classrooms are too hot in summer and too cold in winter? Sothat, better facilities is necessary. But it is also a waste of time and moneyif students are not interested in what they are learning, even they stay in aperfect environment.
The most important thing that school can do for students is help theirstudents get interested in learning and grasp proper method to learn. The onlything can help school achieve this goal is nothing but good teachers.
What should schools to do is to hire teachers who are famous of goodteaching skills. These famous teachers can help students become willing tolearn and grasp efficient learning methods. The most famous school in my city,in which all the students can go to better collages every year, has paid moreattention to hire famous teachers to develop the quality of teachers. Thisschool still uses some old facilities, which have been used for two decades.But the quality of students who graduated from this school is always been spokenhighly of. So that, judging one school as a good school can not only depend onthe condition about school’s facilities, but should also depend on the qualityof teachers in this school.
Moreover, famous teachers can help other teachers in this school toimprove their teaching skills by different ways, such as discussing teachingcontent in classes, and giving lectures to other teachers. By doing so,teaching skills of this school’s teachers will eventually get improved.
As a conclusion, hiring famous teachers is more important than improvingfacilities that most school should pay attention. Because the only thing thatstudents need is the person to encourage them be interested to learning andteach them good method to learn.

单调唱 · 发表于 2012-6-14 20:40:10

for students is help theirstudents get interested 低级语法错误就别犯了好不。。。我一眼就看到了。闪人~我还么开始准备T呢~~

DanielleZ · 发表于 2012-6-14 23:14:51

嗯，嗯~收到~谢啦~下次发之前，我会更仔细检查一下哒~明天还有，有空再来挑毛病哦~

DanielleZ · 发表于 2012-6-14 23:15:20

zombiee · 发表于 2012-6-14 23:31:10

2012.06.14 独立Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Compared withhiring famous teachers, school should pay more attention to improve facilities.

With development of economical, the government has paid more attention oneducation. Recently, the government in my city grants large amount of money tolocal schools, most of these school use the money to improve their facilities,such as teaching buildings, yields, and so on. It is obvious that schools considerthat they should pay more attention to improve facilities in order to improvethe quality of teaching. But in my opinion, I think that schools will benefitmore to use the money to hiring famous teachers than that of spending money onbuilding facilities.
Admittedly, Better facilities could provide a good condition forstudents to learn. How can students be happy to stay and learn in the school,if their classrooms are too small to hold many students? How can students focuson the lessons if the classrooms are too hot in summer and too cold in winter? Sothat, better facilities is necessary. But it is also a waste of time and moneyif students are not interested in what they are learning, even they stay in aperfect environment.
The most important thing that school can do for students is help theirstudents get interested in learning and grasp proper method to learn. The onlything can help school achieve this goal is nothing but good teachers.
What should schools to do is to hire teachers who are famous of goodteaching skills. These famous teachers can help students become willing tolearn and grasp efficient learning methods. The most famous school in my city,in which all the students can go to better collages every year, has paid moreattention to hire famous teachers to develop the quality of teachers. Thisschool still uses some old facilities, which have been used for two decades.But the quality of students who graduated from this school is always been spokenhighly of. So that, judging one school as a good school can not only depend onthe condition about school’s facilities, but should also depend on the qualityof teachers in this school.
Moreover, famous teachers can help other teachers in this school toimprove their teaching skills by different ways, such as discussing teachingcontent in classes, and giving lectures to other teachers. By doing so,teaching skills of this school’s teachers will eventually get improved.
As a conclusion, hiring famous teachers is more important than improvingfacilities that most school should pay attention. Because the only thing thatstudents need is the person to encourage them be interested to learning andteach them good method to learn.

-- by 会员 DanielleZ (2012/6/14 20:27:01)

With development of economical, the government has paid more attention oneducation. Recently,建议后面时态用完成时 the government in my city grants large amount of money tolocal schools, most of these school use the money to improve their facilities,such as teaching buildings, yields, and so on. It is obvious that schools considerthat they should pay more attention to improve facilities in order to improvethe quality of teaching. But in my opinion, I think that schools will benefitmore to use the money to hiring famous teachers than that of 不平行spending money onbuilding facilities.
Admittedly, Better facilities could provide a good condition forstudents to learn. How can students be happy to stay and learn in the school,if their classrooms are too small to hold many students? How can students focuson the lessons if the classrooms are too hot in summer and too cold in winter? So~~that,~~ better facilities is necessary. But it is also a waste of time and moneyif students are not interested in what they are learning, even+though they stay in aperfect environment.
The most important thing that school can do for students is help theirstudents get interested in learning and grasp proper method to learn. The onlything can help school achieve this goal is nothing but good teachers.
What should schools to do is to hire teachers who are famous of goodteaching skills. These famous teachers can help students become willing tolearn and grasp efficient learning methods. The most famous school in my city,in which all the students can go to better collages every year, 插入语加分~has paid moreattention to hire famous teachers to develop the quality of teachers. Thisschool still uses some old facilities, which have been used for two decades.But the quality of students who graduated from this school is always been spokenhighly of. So that, judging one school as a good school建议用whether clause can not only depend onthe condition about school’s facilities, but should also depend on the qualityof teachers in this school.
Moreover, famous teachers can help other teachers in this school toimprove their teaching skills by different ways, such as discussing teachingcontent in classes, and giving lectures to other teachers. By doing so,teaching skills of this school’s teachers will eventually get improved.
As a conclusion, hiring famous teachers is more important than improvingfacilities that most school should pay attention. Because the only thing thatstudents need is the person to encourage them be interested to learning andteach them good method to learn.
red:incorrect; blue:suggestion, yellow: good words

DanielleZ · 发表于 2012-6-15 00:11:03

2012.06.14 独立Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Compared withhiring famous teachers, school should pay more attention to improve facilities.

With development of economical, the government has paid more attention oneducation. Recently, the government in my city grants large amount of money tolocal schools, most of these school use the money to improve their facilities,such as teaching buildings, yields, and so on. It is obvious that schools considerthat they should pay more attention to improve facilities in order to improvethe quality of teaching. But in my opinion, I think that schools will benefitmore to use the money to hiring famous teachers than that of spending money onbuilding facilities.
Admittedly, Better facilities could provide a good condition forstudents to learn. How can students be happy to stay and learn in the school,if their classrooms are too small to hold many students? How can students focuson the lessons if the classrooms are too hot in summer and too cold in winter? Sothat, better facilities is necessary. But it is also a waste of time and moneyif students are not interested in what they are learning, even they stay in aperfect environment.
The most important thing that school can do for students is help theirstudents get interested in learning and grasp proper method to learn. The onlything can help school achieve this goal is nothing but good teachers.
What should schools to do is to hire teachers who are famous of goodteaching skills. These famous teachers can help students become willing tolearn and grasp efficient learning methods. The most famous school in my city,in which all the students can go to better collages every year, has paid moreattention to hire famous teachers to develop the quality of teachers. Thisschool still uses some old facilities, which have been used for two decades.But the quality of students who graduated from this school is always been spokenhighly of. So that, judging one school as a good school can not only depend onthe condition about school’s facilities, but should also depend on the qualityof teachers in this school.
Moreover, famous teachers can help other teachers in this school toimprove their teaching skills by different ways, such as discussing teachingcontent in classes, and giving lectures to other teachers. By doing so,teaching skills of this school’s teachers will eventually get improved.
As a conclusion, hiring famous teachers is more important than improvingfacilities that most school should pay attention. Because the only thing thatstudents need is the person to encourage them be interested to learning andteach them good method to learn.

-- by 会员 DanielleZ (2012/6/14 20:27:01)

With development of economical, the government has paid more attention oneducation. Recently,建议后面时态用完成时 the government in my city grants large amount of money tolocal schools, most of these school use the money to improve their facilities,such as teaching buildings, yields, and so on. It is obvious that schools considerthat they should pay more attention to improve facilities in order to improvethe quality of teaching. But in my opinion, I think that schools will benefitmore to use the money to hiring famous teachers than that of 不平行spending money onbuilding facilities.
Admittedly, Better facilities could provide a good condition forstudents to learn. How can students be happy to stay and learn in the school,if their classrooms are too small to hold many students? How can students focuson the lessons if the classrooms are too hot in summer and too cold in winter? So~~that,~~ better facilities is necessary. But it is also a waste of time and moneyif students are not interested in what they are learning, even+though they stay in aperfect environment.
The most important thing that school can do for students is help theirstudents get interested in learning and grasp proper method to learn. The onlything can help school achieve this goal is nothing but good teachers.
What should schools to do is to hire teachers who are famous of goodteaching skills. These famous teachers can help students become willing tolearn and grasp efficient learning methods. The most famous school in my city,in which all the students can go to better collages every year, 插入语加分~has paid moreattention to hire famous teachers to develop the quality of teachers. Thisschool still uses some old facilities, which have been used for two decades.But the quality of students who graduated from this school is always been spokenhighly of. So that, judging one school as a good school建议用whether clause can not only depend onthe condition about school’s facilities, but should also depend on the qualityof teachers in this school.
Moreover, famous teachers can help other teachers in this school toimprove their teaching skills by different ways, such as discussing teachingcontent in classes, and giving lectures to other teachers. By doing so,teaching skills of this school’s teachers will eventually get improved.
As a conclusion, hiring famous teachers is more important than improvingfacilities that most school should pay attention. Because the only thing thatstudents need is the person to encourage them be interested to learning andteach them good method to learn.
red:incorrect; blue:suggestion, yellow: good words

-- by 会员 zombiee (2012/6/14 23:31:10)

收到，谢谢啦~

yangyangyu · 发表于 2012-6-15 01:44:58

啊哈，睡前看一看. 小丹尼，我们都是选的"famous teachers"呢，可以来brainstorm一下，找更多的论点支撑哦！^^ 先m一下啦.

DanielleZ · 发表于 2012-6-15 09:37:29

啊哈，睡前看一看. 小丹尼，我们都是选的"famous teachers"呢，可以来brainstorm一下，找更多的论点支撑哦！^^ 先m一下啦.

-- by 会员 yangyangyu (2012/6/15 1:44:58)

哈哈~我觉得famous teachers比较好些捏~但是我论点也是只想到了这几个了捏~
有时间我们来Brainstorm一下啊~

DanielleZ · 发表于 2012-6-16 21:53:26

6.16，独立~
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies andtelevision have more negative effects than positive effects on the way youngpeople behave.
With summer holiday of schools going to start in several days, manymovies and television programs, which produced for students, have become availablein cinemas and televisions. At the same time, watching movies and televisionsis the most important activity for students during their spare time. However,some people, especially some parents of young people, think that watchingmovies and television have negative effect on their children. So that, manyparents forbid their children to watch movies and television. But in my pointof view, it is not necessary for parents to confine their children to watchmovies and television, because movies and television have more positive effectson the way young people behave.

Admittedly, some contents consisted by movies and television are notappropriate for young people to watch, such as violence fighting, horriblestories, and misleading commercials, because these contents sometimes willmislead young people, who are too young to judge right or wrong all bythemselves, to develop some bad behaves, such as drinking, smoking, and evendrug using. So that, the inappropriate television programs and movies will havenegative effects on the way of young people behave.

However, nowadays, governments in different countries have already donesome actions to guarantee young people watch suitable movies and television,which have positive effects on their behaviors. For example, The United States,along with many other countries, has already carried on principles to classifymovies and television shows, defining the movies and television that childrencould watch along without parents’ guidance. With these principles, many youngpeople will be able to watch movies and television that affect them positively.

The most important reason, supporting the statement that movies andtelevision have positive effect on young people’s behaviors, is movies andtelevision could teach young people things that can not learn from teachers orparents. Take my younger brother as an example. He likes travelling very much,and he dreams to travel around the world, but he has no time to travel now,because he has to finish his study in high school. But my brother has foundanother way to travel around world, it is watching Discover Channel, of whichmainly content is travelling. My brother learned many things from DiscoveryChannel. So suitable movies and television programs will help young peoplelearn more, as the result, young people will be positively affected by moviesand television.
To sum up, suitable movies and television programs will benefit youngpeople because young people will learn much useful information from it.

kchszy061ban · 发表于 2012-6-17 16:18:04

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

With summer holiday of schools（建议去掉）going to start in several days, many movies and television programs, which are ()produced for students, have become available in cinemas and televisions. At the same time, watching movies and televisions is the most important activity for students during their spare time. However,some people, especially some parents of young people, think that watching movies and television have negative effect on their children. So that（建议去掉）, many parents forbid their children to watch movies and television. But in (from)my point of view, it is not necessary for parents to confine their children to watch movies and television, because movies and television have more positive effects on the way young people behave.

Admittedly, some contents consisted by movies and television are not appropriate for young people to watch, such as violence fighting, horrible stories, and misleading commercials, because these contents sometimes will mislead young people, who are too young to judge right or wrong all bythemselves, to develop some bad behaves, such as drinking, smoking, and even drug using. So that（建议去掉）, the（建议去掉）inappropriate television programs and movies will have negative effects on the way of young people behave.

However, nowadays, governments in different countries have already done some actions to guarantee young people watch suitable movies and television,which have positive effects on their behaviors. For example, The United States,along with many other countries, has already carried on principles to classify movies and television shows, defining the movies and television that children could watch along without parents’ guidance. With these principles, many young people will be able to watch movies and television that affect them positively.

The most important reason, supporting the statement that movies and television have positive effect on young people’s behaviors, is movies and television could teach young people things that can not learn from teachers or parents. Take my younger brother as an example. He likes travelling very much,and he dreams to travel around the world, but he has no time to travel now,because he has to finish his study in high school. But my brother has found another way to travel around the world, it is watching Discover Channel, of which mainly content is travelling. My brother learned many things from Discovery Channel. So suitable movies and television programs will help young people learn more, as the result, young people will be positively affected by (these) movies and television.

To sum up, suitable movies and television programs will benefit young people because young people will learn much useful information from it(them).

总的来说写的不错，不过就是有一些把握的不太好。然后呢，句式看着有点重复感，建议danie看几篇范文的句式然后应用到这里额。

小丹尼作文练习贴，欢迎各位拍砖～～

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