小丹尼作文练习贴，欢迎各位拍砖～～

DanielleZ

7.6 Do you agree with the viewpoint thatpeople are now easier to become educated than in the past?
Have youever thought about what change did the social development bring to people,faster transportation, better medical condition, or more convenient accommodation?When it comes to the question what have the social development provide, peopleusually hold different opinions. There is increasing number of people believethat education is one of the most significant change in people’s live; it hasbeen much easier than the past. However, others people do not agree with theabove statement, because the tuition has become much higher than the past dueto the improvement of the society. The situation would be tougher for thosepoor people who wanted to achieve education. From my standpoint; the educationhas become easier than the past, because many useful resources and policieshave reduced the difficulties of many people to be educated.


At thevery beginning, it is universally acknowledged that the efforts of the localgovernments have already made education easier for all the people to access, InChina, the rights to go to primary schools of the children is statutory, whichmeans that the any one who forbid children to go school will be punished. Moreover,the governments have spared no efforts to reduce the tuition of primaryeducation. The primary school education is now free to all the children. So asthe result, children, especially whose families are very poor, can receiveeducation much easier than in the past.

Furthermore,the development of society has encouraged diverse kinds of classes availablefor people who want to learn some knowledge that can not be offered bytraditional schools. Take my mother as an example, she is a big fan of cooking,but without sufficient classes for her to attend, she was compelled to give upthe desire of learning cooking in the past. However, the situation has changed,thousands and thousands of education classes are provide in my city, amongthem, wine tasting and foreign languages and cooking classes are the mostpopular ones. So that, my mother can easily gets educated about classes about cookingnow. My mother’s case is not rare, many people have benefited from theseclasses.

What ismore important is that the development of the technology. High technology givespeople a new way to be educated. No one can deny that the internet plays anextremely important role in education. Thanks to the help of the internet, thedistance education based on internet let millions of people to get educated easier.Getting into the habits of learning from distance education, people do not needto travel thousands miles to attend class. Many researches have indicated thatthe number of people who receive education from distance education is equal tothe number of people who attend traditional classes. How crucial is internet toease people getting educated.

From whatwe have discussed, we can safely draw conclusion that people now get educatedeasier than in the past, because of the governments’ effort and developments oftechnology.

DanielleZ

那我改4号的吧，正好我今儿做啦^_^
The article and listening material discussed the impact of the buzzing-a new static of advertisement, the reading passage asserted three disadvantages of the buzzing, while the student in the lecture, whose part-time job was buzzer, thought that these three points were misleading, and he made several points to refute the idea in the reading passage. （个人觉得这个句子太长了，可以断句的，这样读起来很累。不过内容很全。）

First of all, the student argued that the buzzer do not always tell lies, even they got payment from the company. The reading passage said that since buzzers got money from the company, most of buzzers might not be able to tell the truth about the products. However, from this student’s experience, when he buzzed to someone, he expressed the real feeling about this product. Because the products were very good, there was no need for buzzers to lie about the quality of the products. This is where the speaker disagrees with the writer.

Moreover, according to the students, the buyer would ask so many questions about the product when they wanted to purchase one product. This is different from the point in the reading passage that people would be less critical. The student argued that when he buzzed with someone about the telephone, people tended to ask many questions about the phone, such as the price, how long can it be used. This was another part where experienced contradicted theory.

Finally, the student raised the issue that buzzers would not be harmful to the social relationship. The article presented that people will become less trustful of people once they realize that people they met socially may be buzzers with a hidden agenda. The speaker claims that companies would recruit buzzers to promote their products, unless the qualities of produces were very good. People who bought goods from buzzers’ recommendations would feel satisfy(satisfied) about products. As a result, they would have an enjoyable experience. Thus, they will be more trustful to other people. This was entirely opposed to the professor’s standpoint.



结构清晰完整。还木有错误。听的很全，很细。

有个小小的问题，一定要听这么全吗，要是只对比大的观点行不呢？

-- by 会员 tyyhappy (2012/7/7 0:13:17)

我看了一下OG，上面也没有说听力需要听细致的。我觉得不一定非要听的很细节啦~
因为我已经听懂了，而且也已经记下来了。时间允许的情况下多写一些更好嘛~对吧~嘿嘿~

DanielleZ

7.7 TPO 22
The reading passage and thelecture discussed about whether the ethanol fuel is a good alternative togasoline. The reading passage held the opinion that ethanol was not a goodreplacement for gasoline based on three main reasons. But the professor in thelecture thought all of these reasons were not convincing, and he raised severalpoints to refute the idea of the reading passage.

First of all, the professorargued that the use of ethanol would not increase the problems lead by globalwarming. Admittedly, burning ethanol would release carbon dioxide into theatmosphere, but growing process of the plants, by which ethanol was mainlymade, will counteract the release of the carbon dioxide. Plants absorb carbondioxide as a kind of nutrition when they were growing. So that, the carbondioxide released to the atmosphere was actually the plants removed fromatmosphere previously. This was where speaker disagreed with the writer.

Moreover, according to theprofessor, the production of ethanol would not reduce the amount of plantsavailable for animals. The professor pointed out that people could utilize theuneatable parts of plants to make ethanol. So that, the amount of plant thatcould feed animals will not be influenced by producing ethanol. This wasanother part where experience contradicted theory.

The final evidence thespeaker adopted to jeopardize the passage was that the price of ethanol woulddrop down after more people begin to use it. The professor explained that whenmore people start to use ethanol fuel, the factories could increase itsproduction. It is common that the more yield of the mass production; the cheaperprice of this production will be. If three times more people in the United Statesstart to use ethanol, the price would drop down 40%. This was entirely opposedto the passage.

DanielleZ

7.7 it is moreimportant to choose friends that 更能 havefun with than to choose friends that will help you when you need them.
不会写这篇文章啊~~
Have you everhad some obstacles that difficult to conquer? When you face some difficultiesand need outside assistance, which one would you turn to, friends, parents, orthrive by yourself? When you ask your friends to get some help, would they be willingto help you? When it comes to question about which is more important friendscan have fun, or friends could give you a hand when you need, people usually holddifferent opinions. Some people believe that we should choose friend which wecan have fun, but others declare that friends that can offer you assistancecould be more valuable. From my standpoint, I asserted that friends who willhelp you when you need them are more essential.

Admittedly, sharinghappiness and interests is the very first step to make friends. We can developfriendship much easier with people who have equal interests with us. Whateverit may be, say, reading, music and so the forth, common interests and topicsshorten distance between people who meet each other for the first time. Additionally,in the process of further communication in the following years of life, one mayfind it a great joy to get along with people of such kind. It is friendshipthat can make our life more vivid and colorful. And whatever the fun may be,whether spiritual or material, without possibility of having fun together, anyso-called friendship will finally disappear like the temporary tides.

At the sametime, our life is not always full of happiness, sorrows, horrent, and someother bad things will also accompany with happiness appearing in our life. Whenwe confront these difficulties, assistance from friends is more crucial for usto get through these problems. Lily is one of the intimate friends of mine, andshe helped me to overcome the hardest period of time in my life. When Igraduate from collage, I was not able to find a job, and had little money formy accommodation. It is lily who gave money to me and shared room to me until Ifound a job. Thanks to her kindly help, I could get through the toughest time. Theworst thing that everyone does not want to meet is that the formally intimate friendssurprisingly disappear when you are in trouble; then you will find itdisgusting that the former intercourses are only because he or she wanted totake advantages or make use of you. So you might get more cautious to makefriends.

From what wehave been discussed above, we can safely draw conclusion that we need friendswho can do favor to us when we need, because our life are always full of bothhappiness and trouble.

瓜瓜不瓜

7.6 TPO 21   红色为错误 蓝色为建议 紫色总评
The reading passage and the professor discussed about the impacts of genetically modified trees. The reading passage asserted that the genetically modified trees promise to bring a number of economic benefits.（passage并不是单单讲了economic方面的优势哦，还有环境方面的，所以建议这里要写总的观点，比如改成：bring a lot of benefits both on economy and on ecology） While, the professor in the lecture thought the genetically modified trees caused more(这个more是要和什么对比呢？句子里面没有标明哦) problems when people take acloser look at them, and she raised several points to refute the idea of there ading material.

First of all,the professor argued that the genetically modified trees are more likely to be damaged than nature trees. The genetically modified trees which are designed toresist（没有这个单词额） one certain issue, would not be able to survive from other different problems, such as pests, however, the nature trees would survive from these problems more easily, since the genetic diversity of the nature trees is more complex than the genetically modified trees, which contained only one kind of genes. Thanks to the diversification of the genes, one kind of the nature trees would problem be killed by one trouble, but others in the nature trees couldsurvive. But all the genetically modified trees would be killed. This was wherethe speaker disagreed with the reading passage.

Moreover,according to the professor, the farmer who grow the genetically trees can not receive economic benefits. Because the farmers have to pay more to buy（+the seeds of ） geneticallymodified trees. In additional, they can not collect the seeds of those treesfree, because the government requirement require them can not grow geneticallymodified trees.(这句话在表达上有点问题，不是不能种GM trees，而是每次种都要付钱)

The finalevidence the speakers adopted to jeopardize the passage is that geneticallymodified trees bring more damage to other local natures trees. Genetically modified trees grow so aggressively that their competitors - the nature trees,would be crowed out, because the genetically modified trees would take moresources to supply its rapid growth, such as soil, nutrition, and sunshine. Thiswas entirely opposed to the article's standpoint.

总评：丹尼，建议加个结尾哦。
         还有很多单词之间没有空格，不知道是不是复制粘贴出了问题。
         整体不错了，加油！独立我明天早上写哈。我写完再给你批

T不死

7.7 独立


灰色我认为不是很地道的地方，绿色是我认为应该修改。黄色为好句子

Have you ever had some obstacles that (are) difficult to conquer? When you face some difficulties and need outside assistance, which one would you turn to, friends, parents, or thrive by yourself? When you ask your friends to get some help, would they be willing to help you? When it comes to question about which is more important friends can have fun, or friends could give you a hand when you need (这句话说得不是很清楚), people usually hold different opinions. Some people believe that we should choose friend which we can have fun, but others declare that friends that can offer you assistance could be more valuable. From my stand point, I asserted that friends who will help you when you need them are more essential.

开头整体不错，把讨论的主题讲清楚了，并说明了自己的观点

Admittedly, sharing happiness and interests is the very first step to make friends. We can develop friendship much easier with people who have equal interests with us. Whatever it may be, say（chatting）, reading, music and so the forth, common interests and topics shorten distance between people who meet each other for the first time. Additionally, in the process of further communication in the following years of life, one may find it a great joy to get along with people of such kind. It is friendship that can make our life more vivid and colorful. And whatever the fun may be, whether spiritual or material, without possibility of having fun together（语意似乎有点重复）, any so-called friendship will finally disappear like the temporary tides.

这段是说have fun 是保持友谊的关键。但和第一段的观点患难之交的朋友比娱乐朋友重要不是关系太大。

按照第二段的内容应该是支持两种朋友都一样重要。It depends.


At the same time（感觉用连词while比较好，人生有乐也有悲）, our life is not always full of happiness, sorrows, horrent, and some other bad things will also accompany with happiness appearing in our life. When we confront these difficulties, assistance from friends is more crucial for us to get through these problems. Lily is one of the intimate friends of mine, and she helped me to overcome the hardest period of time in my life. When I graduate from college, I was not able to find a job, and had little money for my accommodation. It is lily who gave money to me and shared room to（with） me until I found a job. Thanks to her kindly help, I could get through the toughest time. The worst thing that everyone does not want to meet is that the formally intimate friends (改为娱乐朋友比较好) surprisingly disappear when you are in trouble; then you will find it disgusting that（表达不是很清楚） the former intercourses are only because he or she wanted to take advantages or make use of you. So you might get more cautious to make friends.

最后结尾的时候，可以总结下在这种情况下患难之交的朋友比娱乐朋友更重要。

From what we have been discussed above, we can safely draw conclusion that we need friends who can do favor to us when we need, because our life are always full of both happiness and trouble.



文章总体还流畅，不过有一些中式英语。另外逻辑还需要更严密些。建议多读些好文。

瓜瓜不瓜

7.6 Do you agree with the viewpoint thatpeople are now easier to become educated than in the past?

红色为错误 蓝色建议 绿色段落小评
Have you ever thought about what change did the social development bring to people,faster transportation, better medical condition, or more convenient accommodation?When it comes to the question what have the social development provide, people usually hold different opinions. There is increasing number of people believethat education is one of the most significant change in people’s live; it hasbeen much easier than the past. However, others people do not agree with theabove statement, because the tuition has become much higher than the past dueto the improvement of the society. The situation would be tougher for those poor people who wanted to achieve education（搭配不妥，get educated即可）. From my standpoint; the education has become easier than the past, because many useful resources and policies have reduced the difficulties of many people to be educated.（表达略有点不顺，小小斟酌下吧，我想了下，不如改成定语从句：difficulities that happen on the way people pursuit knowledge.）开头段略微有点过长了，特别是有些人觉得。。。有些人觉得不是，这个其实可以不写的。。


At the very beginning, it is universally acknowledged that the efforts of the local governments have already made education easier for all the people to access, In China, the rights to go to primary schools of the children is statutory, whichmeans that the any one who forbid children to go school will be punished. Moreover,the governments have spared no efforts to reduce the tuition of primaryeducation. The primary school education is now free to all the children. So a sthe result, children, especially whose families are very poor, can receivee ducation much easier than in the past. (中国义务教育的例子很好哈！)

Furthermore,the development of society has encouraged diverse kinds of classes available （短语搭配问题，encourage sth/sb to ...）for people who want to learn some knowledge that can not be offered by traditional schools. Take my mother as an example, she is a big fan of cooking,but without sufficient classes for her to attend, she was compelled to give up the desire of learning cooking in the past. However, the situation has changed,thousands and thousands of education classes are provide in my city, amongthem, wine tasting and foreign languages and cooking classes are the mos tpopular ones.(这句和这个段落的表达都显得无关，你可以改成是妈妈喜欢这几个课程) So that, my mother can easily gets educated about classesabout cookingnow. My mother’s case is not rare, 两个完整句直接需要有连词many people have benefited from theseclasses.

What is more important is that the development of the technology. High technology gives people a new way to be educated. No one can deny that the internet plays an extremely important role in education. Thanks to the help of the internet, the distance education based on internet let millions of people to get educated easier.Getting into the habits of learning from distance education, people do not need to travel thousands miles to attend class. Many researches have indicated thatthe number of people who receive education from distance education is equal tothe number of people who attend traditional classes. How crucial is internet to ease people getting educated.

From what we have discussed, we can safely draw conclusion that people now get educatedeasier than in the past, because of the governments’ effort and developments oftechnology.

总：写的很好哈。例子很好，就是表达上一些小瑕疵以后尽量完善，进步很大！鼓掌撒花！

kchszy061ban

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

The reading passage and the lecture discussed about whether the ethanol fuel is a good alternative to gasoline. The reading passage held the opinion that ethanol was not a good replacement for gasoline based on three main reasons. But the professor in the lecture thought all of these reasons were not convincing, and he raised several points to refute the ideas of the reading passage.

First of all, the professor argued that the use of ethanol would not increase the problems lead by global warming. Admittedly, burning ethanol would release carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, but growing process of the plants, by which ethanol was mainly made, will counteract the release of the carbon dioxide. Plants absorb carbondioxide as a kind of nutrition when they were growing. So that, the carbondioxide released to the atmosphere was actually the plants removed from atmosphere previously. This was where speaker disagreed with the writer.

Moreover, according to the professor, the production of ethanol would not reduce the amount of plants available for animals. The professor pointed out that people could utilize the uneatable parts of plants to make ethanol. So that, the amount of plant that could feed animals will not be influenced by producing ethanol. This was another part where experience contradicted theory.

The final evidence the speaker adopted to jeopardize the passage was that the price of ethanol would drop down after more people begin to use it. The professor explained that when more people start to use ethanol fuel, the factories could increase its production. It is common that the more yield of the mass production; the cheaper priceof this（the） production will be. If three times more people in the United States start to use ethanol, the price would drop down 40%. This was entirely opposed to the passage.

不错，不错，丹尼写到了三百字。

DanielleZ

7.6 Do you agree with the viewpoint thatpeople are now easier to become educated than in the past?

红色为错误 蓝色建议 绿色段落小评
Have you ever thought about what change did the social development bring to people,faster transportation, better medical condition, or more convenient accommodation?When it comes to the question what have the social development provide, people usually hold different opinions. There is increasing number of people believethat education is one of the most significant change in people’s live; it hasbeen much easier than the past. However, others people do not agree with theabove statement, because the tuition has become much higher than the past dueto the improvement of the society. The situation would be tougher for those poor people who wanted to achieve education（搭配不妥，get educated即可）. From my standpoint; the education has become easier than the past, because many useful resources and policies have reduced the difficulties of many people to be educated.（表达略有点不顺，小小斟酌下吧，我想了下，不如改成定语从句：difficulities that happen on the way people pursuit knowledge.）开头段略微有点过长了，特别是有些人觉得。。。有些人觉得不是，这个其实可以不写的。。


At the very beginning, it is universally acknowledged that the efforts of the local governments have already made education easier for all the people to access, In China, the rights to go to primary schools of the children is statutory, whichmeans that the any one who forbid children to go school will be punished. Moreover,the governments have spared no efforts to reduce the tuition of primaryeducation. The primary school education is now free to all the children. So a sthe result, children, especially whose families are very poor, can receivee ducation much easier than in the past. (中国义务教育的例子很好哈！)

Furthermore,the development of society has encouraged diverse kinds of classes available （短语搭配问题，encourage sth/sb to ...）for people who want to learn some knowledge that can not be offered by traditional schools. Take my mother as an example, she is a big fan of cooking,but without sufficient classes for her to attend, she was compelled to give up the desire of learning cooking in the past. However, the situation has changed,thousands and thousands of education classes are provide in my city, amongthem, wine tasting and foreign languages and cooking classes are the mos tpopular ones.(这句和这个段落的表达都显得无关，你可以改成是妈妈喜欢这几个课程) So that, my mother can easily gets educated about classesabout cookingnow. My mother’s case is not rare, 两个完整句直接需要有连词many people have benefited from theseclasses.

What is more important is that the development of the technology. High technology gives people a new way to be educated. No one can deny that the internet plays an extremely important role in education. Thanks to the help of the internet, the distance education based on internet let millions of people to get educated easier.Getting into the habits of learning from distance education, people do not need to travel thousands miles to attend class. Many researches have indicated thatthe number of people who receive education from distance education is equal tothe number of people who attend traditional classes. How crucial is internet to ease people getting educated.

From what we have discussed, we can safely draw conclusion that people now get educatedeasier than in the past, because of the governments’ effort and developments oftechnology.

总：写的很好哈。例子很好，就是表达上一些小瑕疵以后尽量完善，进步很大！鼓掌撒花！

-- by 会员 瓜瓜不瓜 (2012/7/8 20:31:51)

谢谢瓜瓜的鼓励~我会继续独立向你们学习哒~加油捏~

DanielleZ

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

The reading passage and the lecture discussed about whether the ethanol fuel is a good alternative to gasoline. The reading passage held the opinion that ethanol was not a good replacement for gasoline based on three main reasons. But the professor in the lecture thought all of these reasons were not convincing, and he raised several points to refute the ideas of the reading passage.

First of all, the professor argued that the use of ethanol would not increase the problems lead by global warming. Admittedly, burning ethanol would release carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, but growing process of the plants, by which ethanol was mainly made, will counteract the release of the carbon dioxide. Plants absorb carbondioxide as a kind of nutrition when they were growing. So that, the carbondioxide released to the atmosphere was actually the plants removed from atmosphere previously. This was where speaker disagreed with the writer.

Moreover, according to the professor, the production of ethanol would not reduce the amount of plants available for animals. The professor pointed out that people could utilize the uneatable parts of plants to make ethanol. So that, the amount of plant that could feed animals will not be influenced by producing ethanol. This was another part where experience contradicted theory.

The final evidence the speaker adopted to jeopardize the passage was that the price of ethanol would drop down after more people begin to use it. The professor explained that when more people start to use ethanol fuel, the factories could increase its production. It is common that the more yield of the mass production; the cheaper priceof this（the） production will be. If three times more people in the United States start to use ethanol, the price would drop down 40%. This was entirely opposed to the passage.

不错，不错，丹尼写到了三百字。

-- by 会员 kchszy061ban (2012/7/8 20:46:00)

谢谢banban帮我修改呢~加油哈~