开贴留念-狂虐托福作文

GJason

独立写作
In order to attract good students, a university should spend a lot of money funding social activities.

It is widely acknowledged that the specific knowledge is the only key factors for students to succeed in their career. However, this view has been questioned by more and more people, who claim that the interpersonal skills, such as communication skills and team work, play more essential role in the development of career. As for me, I think the interpersonal skills are as important as specific knowledge. Therefore, it is significant for university to fund social activities.

In the first place, the social activities mean more work opportunities for students. During the activities, students can cultivate interpersonal skills, which are necessary in the prospective career and cannot not be obtained in the classroom and books. Many big firms evaluate the students depending not only on their academic achievement but also on their social experience, especially the firms enlisting the positions such as marketing, salesmen and customer service. Consequently, students with more social experience will have more opportunities when they graduate. But for those who only have good academic scores, they could only work in certain field.

In the second place, the social experience produces positive influence on the development of career. The team work is popular in modern company, because the assignments and tasks become more and more complicated. For the students who have various social experiences, they will take part in the assignment efficiently. In a group, every member has to communicate with the others and learn how to accept the other's views. Those who have strong interpersonal skills will have more opportunities to be promoted since they may achieve goal in a short time.

Also, the social activities make favorable impact on the academic studying. The social activities allow students to apply the knowledge in real environment, and students will understand the theory deeply. When I was in university, I had been a salesman in a sports equipment store. During the job, I could investigate the habit of customers and then compared with my marketing book, which made me understand the theory well.

From what has discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that, although students may achieve career goal with only specific knowledge, social activities can produce favorable impact on their prospective career and school should invest more money on the social activities, which will benefit not only the students but also the whole society.

Terry95

GJason 发表于 2014-8-4 20:59
独立写作
In order to attract good students, a university should spend a lot of money funding social  ...

写得很大气，可见剑已铸成，可上战场了

GJason

Terry95 发表于 2014-8-4 22:04
写得很大气，可见剑已铸成，可上战场了

考不到30分拿你问话

Terry95

GJason 发表于 2014-8-5 08:38
考不到30分拿你问话

            

GJason

8.5
The issue, whether one can achieve her/his career goal without assistance from family more easily today than in the past, is widely discussed. Some believe that one's success depends on her/his background, such as social status of family. However, this view is questioned by more and more people who claim that people can succeed in their career by their efforts without help from their family. As for me, I believe that young people today have more opportunities to succeed in their life.

First of all, people have more opportunities to be educated, and the education will produce positive influence on their prospective career. It is acknowledged that the number of students in university or college is increasing since the middle of the last century, which is attributed to the development of education. According to an investigation of my country, almost 80 percents of students in high school have chance to go to university. This phenomenon is unbelievable just a decade ago. Furthermore, students from poor family can be educated too. Students whose family cannot afford the tuition and expense have so many means, such as scholarship, fellowship, loans and so on, to deal with this problem. Without a doubt, young people are easier to acquire education, even depending on them.

In the second place, the society provides more and more jobs and positions for young people today. As known to all, the society and economy develop very fast so that various jobs, especially positions from new industries, are created. As the information technology advances, so many positions such as software development, network management, and electronic product management and so on, are available today. When I was a child, young people only could be a worker or farmer. However, when I graduated from university in 2004, I could work in so many industries, including automobile, IT, Culture industry. It is safely to say we have more opportunities to get a ideal job today that in the past.

Of course, those who could get help from their family have some advantages. It is possible that they could get some money and live better when they were young. But, they cannot get knowledge and experience from their family. Therefore, it quite fair for us. It is possible that those who depend on themselves may succeed in few years but those who depend on their family do not.

For what has been discussed above, we may safely conclude that, young people who make effort by themselves have more opportunities to be educated and to obtain success in career today than in the past.  

GJason

8月11日
With the dramatically development of information technology and society, we have entered into the era of information explosion. Some believe that we have to obtain information from various sources, such as Internet, newspaper and TV programs. However, this view is questioned by more and more people who claim that we should have to distinguish what news resource is efficient. As for me, I believe that we have to concentrate on the information we need and focus on certain news sources.

In the first place, it is a waste of time and energy for us to acquire information from too many means. As we know, the same news will be broadcasted in so many ways such as TV, radio, website, so that we only need choose one way to get the news. Furthermore, the TV and radio may repeat the same news all day. As for me, I often listen to the radio when I am on my way to workplace in the morning. And when I arrive to the office, I never read the newspaper because the content of the newspaper has been reported by the radio. What is more, when I get home at night and turn on the TV, the news speaker is still talking about the same news. There is no reason to obtain information from so many sources.

Secondly, too much information will produce negative influence on our mind and we have to determine what type of information is useful for us. For different people, they need different information and they only need to notice the information which is valuable for them. For the businessman, the news about economy is meaningful. But for the students, the news about education may be useful. For those who read news for entertainment, local news is interesting. Therefore, for different people, they only have to choose a proper new source to get information. It is impossible to imagine that a person collects so many information ranging from science to local news. It is more efficient to obtain information we need.

From what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that, due to information overload, it is necessary to differentiate the useful news sources from those meaningless, but not to accept news from many sources. It is absurd to obtain too much information from kinds of sources, which may take up too much time and disturb our mind.

slave918

With the dramatically development of information technology and society（为什么这两个要并列？）, we have entered into the era of information explosion. Some believe that we have to obtain information from various sources, such as Internet, newspaper and TV programs. However, this view is questioned by more and more people who claim that we should have to distinguish what news resource is efficient. As for me, I believe that we have to concentrate on the information we need and focus on certain news sources.

In the first place, it is a waste of time and energy for us to acquire information from too many means. As we know, the same news will be broadcasted in so many ways such as TV, radio, website, so that we only need to choose one way to get the news. Furthermore, the TV and radio may repeat the same news all day. As for me, I often listen to the radio when I am on my way to workplace in the morning. And when I arrive to the office, I never read the newspaper because the content of the newspaper has been reported by the radio. What is more, when I get home at night and turn on the TV, the news speaker is still talking about the same news. There is no reason to obtain information from so many sources.

Secondly, too much information will produce(have) negative influence on our mind and we have to determine what type of information is useful for us. For different people, they need different information and they only need to notice the information which is valuable for them. （第二句话和第一句话的后半段不是重复了吗？）For the businessman, the news about economy is meaningful. But for the students, the news about education may be useful. For those who read news for entertainment, local news is interesting. Therefore, for different people, they only have to choose a proper new source to get information. It is impossible to imagine that a person collects so many information ranging from science to local news. It is more efficient to obtain information we need.

From what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that, due to information overload, it is necessary to differentiate the useful news sources from those meaningless, but not to accept news from many sources. It is absurd to obtain too much information from kinds of sources, which may take up too much time and disturb our mind.

总的来说，好像比以前写的好些了？ 基本没有语法错误，很好。
不好的就是：例子不够具体啦，句型不够多样啦。词汇不够丰富啦。

GJason

Do you agree or disagree with te following statement? It is more important for government to spend money to new buildings than to preserve historic or traditional buildings and homes.

The debate whether the government is supposed to spend more money to new buildings than to preserve historic buildings has been widely discussed by public. Decades ago, our government has destoryed old buildings to make it easier to start new project. However, this has caused disastrous result, for the old buildings could not be recovered again. More and more people believe that the government should have to concentrate on the preservation of historic projects rather than construction of new buildings. In my views, it is essential to protect historic buildings beacuse they can produce positive influence on both economy and culture.

First of all, the historic buildings benefit the development of tourism, which brings advantages to the local economy. As we know, what attacks tourists is not the modern buildings but the traditional projects, including ancient walls, ancient tempers and so on. Furthermore, the tourism, which is named green industry, benefits the local economy without any pollutions. Attributed to the development of tourism, the government will have more tax sources and have plenty of money to preserve traditonal projects and to invest in the infrastucture of the city. The fact that more and more cultural cities take the historic buildings as the symbol of the city is an appealing evidence that the historic buildings are essential to the tourism and local economy.

Secondly, the historic buildings are the symbol of the culture, and the culture is important for a city or nation. It is widely accepted that the culture of a city plays an essential role in the development of a city ,especially for the industry of culture. As for my city, which has 5000 years long history, so many people work in the cultural industry, such as painting, pottery design, traditonal food and so on. Furthermore, the wonderful traditional culture appeals people from all over the world invest in my city, which promote the development of my city.

From what has discussed above, we can safely draw the conclusion that, even though it is important to improve infrastructure and construct new buildings, the historic buildings are more essential for cities, since the historic buildings brings so many advantages, such as development of tourism and the cultural industry. It is absurd for government to give up historic buildings.

slave918

Do you agree or disagree with te following statement? It is more important for government to spend money to new buildings than to preserve historic or traditional buildings and homes.

The debate whether the government is supposed to spend more money to new buildings than to preserve historic buildings has been widely discussed by public. Decades ago, our government has destoryed old buildings to make it easier to start new project. However, this has caused disastrous result, for the old buildings could not be recovered again. More and more people believe that the government should have to concentrate on the preservation of historic projects rather than construction of new buildings. In my views, it is essential to protect historic buildings beacuse they can produce positive influence on both economy and culture.

First of all, the historic buildings benefit the development of tourism, which brings advantages to the local economy. As we know, what attacks（attracts） tourists is not the modern buildings but the traditional projects, including ancient walls, ancient tempers and so on. Furthermore, the tourism, which is named（是想表达什么？） green industry, benefits the local economy without any pollutions. Attributed to the development of tourism, the government will have more tax sources and have plenty of money to preserve traditonal projects and to invest in the infrastucture of the city. The fact that more and more cultural cities take the historic buildings as the symbol of the city is an appealing evidence that the historic buildings are essential to the tourism and local economy.
例子还是不够具体，可以深度挖掘一下。比如，游客人数 ->当地的饮食，酒店，交通什么的收入都会增加。

Secondly, the historic buildings are the symbol of the culture, and the culture is important for a city or nation. It is widely accepted that the culture of a city plays an essential role in the development of a city ,especially for the industry of culture. As for my city, which has 5000 years long history, so many people work in the cultural industry, such as painting, pottery design, traditonal food and so on. Furthermore, the wonderful traditional culture appeals people from all over the world invest in my city, which promote the development of my city.
这个例子更不具体了，还没第一段长。


From what has discussed above, we can safely draw the conclusion that, even though it is important to improve infrastructure and construct new buildings, the historic buildings are more essential for cities, since the historic buildings brings so many advantages, such as development of tourism and the cultural industry. It is absurd for government to give up historic buildings.

句型比以前丰富了，例子还是不够具体。最好写三点，如果写两点，就要写的非常具体，写的很多才行。

GJason

slave918 发表于 2014-8-13 13:38
Do you agree or disagree with te following statement? It is more important for government to spend m ...

收了，例子再具体些，字数也会多一些