开贴留念-狂虐托福作文

GJason

谢谢小伙伴们

GJason

0724 -综合
The reading passage talks about the fact that people read less literature currently that past time, which exerts negative effects to the literature. The lecturer discusses the same topic and indicates that the trend does not mean the decline of literature level. The view contradicts with the reading passage for several reasons.

Firstly, the reading passage points out that the decline of reading literature book will lead to serious result since the literature is the only source of creativity. However, the lecturer suggests that not only the literature books, but the other books such as history books and science books, are high quality and creative, and can promote the intellectual development.

Secondly, the reading passage states that the TV and movie, which is harmful for the culture development, are replacing the literature books. But the lecturer indicates that the form of literature is various, such as music, movie. The high quality music or the other entertainment means is meaningful for the culture.

Finally, the view of the passage demonstrates that reading less literature books will cause fewer writers. The lecturer disagrees this point in that modern writers are difficult to understand and their books are low quality. In other words, the writers but not the readers should be attributed to the decline of reading.

GJason

0724 独立
Which ability is more important? The ability to adapt to the environment or the excellent knowledge for job?

Specific knowledge and work skills, without a doubt, are significant factors to be a successful employee. The majority of people believe that people equipped with knowledge will succeed in their career; however this point is questioned by more and more people who realize that the ability to adapt to the new environment and culture is more important for us to acquire accomplishment. Due to the development of science and technology, the society and environment change drastically and we always have to face new conditions.

For new employees, it is essential to adapt to the new workplace and to be familiar with workmates, because we always have to interact with other to complete assignments. Lacking interpersonal skills such as communication skills and team work skills, those who are new employees are difficult to adapt to new working environment. Obviously, the assignments or tasks are increasing depend on teams but not individuals. Consequently, collaboration is necessary in workplace. Someone who can not cooperate with other colleagues even with strong specific knowledge may be not qualified for the work. In my former company, an expert was invited to a project. Unfortunately, he could not coordinate with the other colleagues and never accepted suggestions. Even though he was an excellent expert on the subject, he could fulfill the assignment.

The global economy requires us have the ability to work in different environment and culture. Because of the development of the society, we have more and more chance to work in abroad. The first obstacle we have to overcome is the culture confliction which is hard to deal with. If we cannot be accustomed to foreign culture, it is hard to say we can be successful. I have been to work in Japan, and my experience is a good example. For Japanese, colleagues often drink after work and they can communicate at restaurant freely, which will enhance their relationship. Fortunately, I learn this issue before so that I establish relationship quickly by participating the activity after work. Therefore, how to adapt the foreign culture is an important subject for modern employees.

In the past few decades, the advance of society makes it possible for us to work in different organizations or nations. There is no denying that the knowledge and skills will enhance people's job opportunities and promotion opportunities. However, many people fail to take into account the fact that the ability of adaption may be more essential since the employers need us to collaborate with other colleagues to finish tasks.

blackjack201303

小伙伴不好意思有点改晚了，综合除了最后一点不是很准确外其他都很好把握到了哈，独立的话主要是要注意一下中式英语还有细节描述，会让你加分百倍哦！

综合写作改GJason

独立写作改GJason

GJason

blackjack201303 发表于 2014-7-26 13:54
小伙伴不好意思有点改晚了，综合除了最后一点不是很准确外其他都很好把握到了哈，独立的话主要是要注意一下 ...

非常感谢你的建议和修改。努力避免中国英语

GJason

7月28日独立：这篇我写的要吐了，希望修改的小伙伴忍住不要吐。。。
If you cannot say anything nice about someone, you'd better to say nothing. /We should never be impolite to other people.

Due to the fact that the society is becoming more and more complicated, it is widely accepted that interpersonal skills and communication skills play an essential role in modern life. Many people live under the illusion that it is better way to communicate by expressing something nice or nothing. However they fail to take into account the fact that the truth,, as well as their opinions, is more significant for others and even for themselves.

It is important to express your own opinion in team work. As the economy has advanced dramatically over past few decades, the assignments or tasks are becoming so complicated that team work is wide spreaded to deal with the problems. As a team member, your opinion is essential for the team since each individual is unique. If some always agrees the other opinion but not describe their own opinion, they will not be qualified to fulfill the assignment. In my former company, I was assigned to a group to solve a certain problem. The team contains a department manager, several colleagues from that department and the other departments. It was surprising that the employees always agreed with their manager when the manager showed his opinion. Obviously, these members worth nothing for the team.

Secondly, why not to say no to those who are taking something wrong? Although an increasing number of people are educated, it is inevitable that someone is doing something that is harmful to the society and human beings. Facing such situations, we have no choice but stand out to prevent the harmful behaviors. If we keep silent when there is a thief in the bus, if we do nothing if someone is capturing and destroying dogs, the honest companions for human, and if we do not prevent those who are pollute the environment, we are assistant the others to produce crimes. Therefore, there is no reason to keep silence in such situation that someone is doing something harmful to the society.

Also, we have to admit the fact that to express no negative feedbacks and to be polite are ways to leave good impression to others. It is acknowledged that people prefer positive content to negative one, as the old saying goes: the truth is hard to be accepted. When we are in a new working environment, it is essential to listen to the opinions from the other colleagues and establish relationship by confirming the others' opinions.

From what we have discussed above, we may safely drawn the conclusion that, although to express no negative opinions has some advantages, its disadvantages should not be ignored and even far overweigh its advantages. It is unwise to never express your own opinions, which is essential for not only the team and the society, but also for yourself.

GJason

7月28日综合
The reading passage discusses about the measures to prevent the spread of cane toad, which was introduced to Australia and reproduced so fast that even threatens the native animals. The passage provides three possible measures. The professor talks about the same topic and points out the measures mentioned in the passage will not work.

The first solution mentioned in the passage is, as to prohibit the rabbits, to build a fence blocking the spread of the cane toad. While the professor indicates that the fence is meaningless because the young cane toads and the eggs were found in stream and the fence in the river is not able to prevent the young and eggs totally. What is more important, only few individual cane toads can reproduce and spread quickly.

According to the passage, the second measure is to organize volunteers to capture and destroy the cane toads and eggs. The professor explains that even though this way could destroy some cane toads, it is possible to destroy native frogs since the cane toad is similar with native frogs, especially the young ones, and is difficult for volunteers to differentiate.

Finally, the reading passage asserts that the virus is a good way to control cane toad. In contrast to the passage, the professor indicates the virus could be a disaster for the native cane toad in American. The cane toad is transported to other continents by researchers or those who like cane toad as pet. Consequently, the virus will spread in American if the virus is used in Australia, which means disastrous results for the native cane toad.

slave918

7.28 修改贴

Due to the fact that the society is becoming more and more complicated, it is widely accepted that interpersonal skills and communication skills play an essential role in modern life. Many people live under the illusion that it is better way（好像可以删掉的样子） to communicate by expressing something nice or nothing. However they fail to take into account the fact that the truth,, as well as their opinions（这个用法看不太明白）, is more（好像没必要） significant for others and even for themselves.

It is important to express your own opinion in team work. As the economy has advanced dramatically over past few decades, the assignments or tasks are becoming so complicated that team work is wide spreaded to deal with the problems（看不懂）. As a team member, your opinion is essential for the team since each individual is unique. If some always agrees the other opinion but not describe their own opinion, they will not be qualified to fulfill the assignment. In my former company, I was assigned to a group to solve a certain problem. The team contains（不能这样用，可以用there be句型） a department manager, several colleagues from that department and the other departments. It was surprising that the employees always agreed with their manager when the manager showed his opinion. Obviously, these members worth nothing for the team.

Secondly, why not to say no to those who are taking something wrong? Although an increasing number of people are educated, it is inevitable that someone is doing something that is harmful to the society and human beings. Facing such situations, we have no choice but stand out to prevent the harmful behaviors. If we keep silent when there is a thief in the bus, if we do nothing if someone is capturing and destroying（killing?） dogs, the honest companions for human, and if we do not prevent those who are pollute the environment, we are assistant the others to produce crimes. Therefore, there is no reason to keep silence in such situation that someone is doing something harmful to the society.

Also, we have to admit the fact that to express no negative feedbacks and to be polite are ways to leave good impression to others. It is acknowledged that people prefer positive content to negative one, as the old saying goes: the truth is hard to be accepted. When we are in a new working environment, it is essential to listen to the opinions from the other colleagues and establish relationship by confirming the others' opinions.

From what we have discussed above, we may safely drawn the conclusion that, although to express no negative opinions has some advantages, its disadvantages should not be ignored and even far overweigh its advantages. It is unwise to never express your own opinions, which is essential for not only the team and the society, but also for yourself.

楼主，有的用法最好确定了再用，不然适得其反。
我的建议是：可以减少写作频率，多读读英文文章，这反而可以培养自己的语感，而且对于写作非常有帮助。

GJason

slave918 发表于 2014-7-28 23:41
7.28 修改贴

Due to the fact that the society is becoming more and more complicated, it is widely a ...

谢谢你的建议，同时正在努力的背诵范文。奈何基础太差，尚需努力呀。

Terry95

GJason 发表于 2014-7-28 21:21
7月28日综合
The reading passage discusses about the measures to prevent the spread of cane toad, whi ...

7月28日综合
The reading passage discusses about the measures to prevent the spread of cane toad, which was introduced to Australia and reproduced so fast that *1 even threatens the native animals. The passage provides three possible measures. The professor talks about the same topic and points out the measures mentioned in the passage will not work.
1.so ...that引导状语从句，后面要接一句话。

The first solution mentioned in the passage is, as to prohibit the rabbits *1, to build a fence blocking the spread of the cane toad. While the professor indicates that the fence is meaningless because the young cane toads and the eggs were found in stream and the fence in the river is not able to prevent the young and eggs totally. What is more important(感觉what’s more就可以了） , only few individual cane toads can reproduce and spread quickly. 2
1.我觉得as to这里好像有两个问题。首先是意思上面，as to表示关于，就什么而言，那么这里放进去意思好像是说，就防兔子而言（即使这样后面也要写成prohibition of the rabbits,因为to 在这里作介词用,不是infinitive,介词后面不能直接接动词原型)，这个方法是做栏杆防cane toad的扩散。感觉理解起来有点费力。
第二个问题就是这个插入语放置的位置是不是有待商榷，是不是放在solution旁边要好一点。
你看你是不是这个意思：
Used to prohibit the extension of rabbits,the first solution mentioned in the passage is to build a fence blocking the spread of the cane toad.
首先是掉了个a, 应该是a few... 然后是这句话意思不对。翻译过来意思是说只有很少的cane toads能够reproduce,那么其它的就不行啦？你看这么改行不行？
even a few cane toads can reproduce...


According to the passage, the second measure is to organize volunteers to capture and destroy the cane toads and eggs. The professor explains that even though this way could destroy some cane toads, it is possible to destroy native frogs since the cane toad is similar with 1 native frogs, especially the young ones, and is difficult for volunteers to differentiate.2
1.similar to
这段的最后一句话中and前后两个分句是因果关系，不是并列关系，所以最好不要用and连接。这么改你看行不行
it is possible to destroy native frogs since the cane toad is similar to native frogs, especially the young ones; thus it is difficult for volunteers to differentiate.
Finally, the reading passage asserts that the virus is a good way to control cane toad. In contrast to the passage, the professor indicates the virus could be a disaster for the native cane toad in American. The cane toad is transported to other continents by researchers or those who like cane toad as pet. Consequently, the virus will spread in American（America) if the virus is used in Australia, which means(which means这种用法在口语中较多，但一般不在正规写作里用，因为不太严谨。GMAT中这种用法属于错误用法，看这么改行不行：...in Australia, harming the native cane toad） disastrous results for the native cane toad.
除了一点点小瑕疵，总得来说还是写得蛮好的
不足之处请指正，open to discuss