eleven 作文贴 么么哒 成长吧！~

小蘑菇开始打怪

Parents should give school-age children money as reward for getting a high mark in school.

Along with rapid development of society, especially economic growth, in order to teach children more knowledge and to train kids ability to regulate money, parents tend to give children a mount of money as reward when they are get good behavors （这是自己发现的错误嘛？）in school. For my part, I am totally in favor this measure. It has lots of potential advantage for childrens after they grow up.
To begin with, reword（笔误吧） could stimulate children's ambition to acchive goals. As we know, parents and adults work hard may becuase they have to take the burden of life, or because they want to make more money to improve life quality, or may because they want achieve personal value.（三个句子并列的话，是不是只用在最后一个句子前面加or就可以了？） Anyway, there need something that people are chasing for. For children, there also need something to attract them to work hard. Unlike those complex aims, the money is the most welcome and direct reward for children. Therefore, when parents offer those money for children if they could get a great mark in school, the young kids will have a purpose or sake they could work for. In some extent, this rewording contribute（单数） directly to children's wonderful performance in shcool.
What's more, the another advantage for children is that this rewarding way helps kids to cultivate a good habit to regulate money and establish a concept of money as they are young. As we know, economy is a crucial role in current society. Therefore, it is no denying that the younger children get familar with money, the better children could to regulate and arrange thier money.（这里是想用the more the more的句型还是？） Parents  not only offer money to children but also provide a oppotunity and experience for children to how to use and arrange the money. They could draft a plan , or spend to buy some books or toys, or do some investments. How to use those money is another advanture for those little kids.
Addimittely, there are also some bad effects. For example, in order to get high rewarding, some students cheat in exams.  And, some other children spend those money to buy lots of games and unhealty movies or hang out with bad guys. However, I believe those casea are rare. And these disadvantages not outweigh the merits.
To sum up, giving kids reward is becoming a more and more popular measure（前面加一个冠词好点） to encourage children to achieve high mark at school. It is indeed a good way to stimulate kids.


总结：
1、笔误什么的注意一下就好，考试的时候留三分钟检查一下。
2、总字数可以再多一些，第三段的让步段明显有点儿太少，可以说下如何预防由前带来的不良影响。
3、有两处三个句子的并列，其实可以简化一些或者句式更平行一些。
4、单词的运用比我好太多啦~~考试加油~~

elleven806

6.29综合
Clearly, the professor totally disproves what is suggested in the reading passage. According to the author, the science of archaeology-dedicated is facing several difficulties, such as valuable artifacts lost, money lacking, and low paid. However, the professor points out that all of those problems are solved by new program.
To start with, the author asserts that new construction and buildings are uncovered  precious archaeologically sites. Lots of artifacts are ruined. However , the speaker claims that there is a new process that each each artifacts cite have to be examed by archaeologists at first. Then, all the important and valuable artifacts cites will be preserved. Therefore, the author's worry is totally unnecessary.
What's more,  the writer argues that archaeological researches are always lack of money. And also, government funds and grants are gradually decrease in recent days. Pointed by the lecturer, the author neglect the fact that the funding is offered by construction company in the new project. Besides, there is abundant money for research. Therefore, unlike these important and valuable sites, other interesting artifacts will have the opportunity to investigate.
Finally, according to the reading material, the writer says that having a career in archaeology is very difficult. There are not too many position. On contrary, the lecturer presents that after beginning this new projects, an increasing positions are opened to public. And the pay is also the highest than before.

elleven806

小蘑菇开始打怪 发表于 2014-6-30 11:39
Parents should give school-age children money as reward for getting a high mark in school.

Along wi ...

谢谢蘑菇呀~~三分钟检查我觉得是不要想了，前面两次考每次写独立的时候我就是完全没得想法的码字，两次都是得的Fair（1—1.5）的这种，好心焦，写不完不说写的时候点逻辑都没有。。。。
我会加油的~~

elleven806

啊啊啊，这是有史以来写的最久最没赶脚最差的老。不过还多接近我真实考试的状态的~~
本来人家还想写篇好点的文章给sweet看看呐~·
现在写作文最大困难除了写不完外，就是不知道如何去展开我的论证啊
论点提出来了，感觉论证的过程就是在饶圈圈，始终点不到点上~~焦急
谢谢sweet啦 辛苦咯
6.29 The ability to read and write is more important now than in the past.      
With the fast development of economy and society, the significant of ability to read and write has been increasingly regonized by people. The capability of read and write links directly to one's business success and life quality. It goes without saying that those ability is more important than the past.

To start with, read and writes ability is a fundamental requirement nowadays almost in fields. Unlike decades ago, current elites almost obtain a good capablity to write and read. On contrary, getting a higher education is nearly impossible in the past decades years ago.In that time, our grandparents even our parents give up the education and take burden of life, thus, they are lack of read and write ability in some extend. However, nowadays, current generation all have the opportunity to go to school learning knowledge. Thus , it is no denying fact that the ability to read and write is a commom skill in recently .

Furthermore, the capability of read and write contributes directly to people's career. In 50 years ago, even though people all lacking of ability, it is not a big metter. Because everyone is same and is litte ability to read and write. However, nowadays along with eye-catching development of society. People not only need ability to read and write ,but also need better reading and writing skills such as read other language. For instance, with an increasing trend of globlezation, business people need to contact with foreigner corporators. Therefore, people who obtain another language write and read ability are more chance to get success.

Finally,  having a good read and write ability will increase people's life quality and people will feel happier in daily life. People through reading and writing not only train the skill , but also learn a lot knowledge. Therefore, when they confront adversity, older people my just cry for those pity. But this generation could adjust by using those skills such as readding some books who are famous in this difficult filed and have lots of experince, write dairy to realse our stress. There are lot of approaches even if you obtain the reading and writing skill. The more knowledge you obtain, the happier you are in live.

To sum up, compared with many years ago, the capability to read and write is already significant in our life, helping us overcoming difficulties and enjoying life.

Johnnyli

elleven806 发表于 2014-6-27 14:31
6.26 独立写作Parents do not understand their children as well as parents did 50 years ago.

Nowadays ...

改完了

孩纸，加油啊！

elleven806

Johnnyli 发表于 2014-6-30 23:58
改完了

孩纸，加油啊！

嗯嗯，蜀黍说的我一定记到！！谢谢蜀黍~~

elleven806

6.30 tpo17 综合 听了两遍 啊啊如果记笔记记太HIGH就会漏听一些内容 ~~改进记笔记方式 不要求全求多呀~~

Obviously, the professor disproves what is claimed in the reading passage. According to the reading passage, the author presents that an increasing human population, agricultural activities, and pesticide use are harmful to birds. However, the professor says that  those reasons are totally convincing.
To begin with, the author points out that there are more and more human populations and settlements which destroy natural habitats of birds. However, the professor argues it may true that urban settlements will hart birds, but it just some certain type, and some other types of bird are all get benefits from settlement increasing. In fact, urban area creates better habitats for birds and there are more and more bird find suitable homes in cities.
Furthermore, the writer asserts that increasing agricultural activities take place of  bird habitats as agricultural use. Thus, the bird population decline dramatically. Pointed by the professor, the author fails to take into account that  there are less agricultural use lands than past because a new productive corp is invented. Therefore, people do not need to expand the new land for agricultural use and there no more destruction of bird habitats.
Finally, according to the reading material, pesticides are poisons. It is inevitable to kill some birds by contaminated water and poisoned foods due to pesticide use. But, the assertion of author is too absolute. According to the lecturer, firstly, the new pesticide which is improved with less poison. So it already considerable decrease pollution of foods and water. What's more, the new crops with genetic design with more resistant to pest. Thus, in near future, the crops would not attract pest and will not need pesticide any more.

sweetyecho

错误修改好

6.29 The ability to read and write is more important now than in the past.      
With the fast development of economy and society, the significant（significance） of ability to read and write has been increasingly regonized（recognized） by people. The capability of read and write links directly to one's business success and life quality. It goes without saying that those ability is more important than the past.

To start with, read and writes ability is a fundamental requirement nowadays almost in fields. Unlike decades ago, current elites almost obtain a good capablity to write and read. On contrary, getting a higher education is nearly impossible in the past decades years ago.In that time, our grandparents even our parents give up the education and take burden of life, thus, they are lack of read and write ability in some extend（to some extent）. However, nowadays, current generation all have the opportunity to go to school learning knowledge. Thus , it is no denying fact that the ability to read and write is a commom skill in recently .

Furthermore, the capability of read and write contributes directly to people's career. In 50 years ago, even though people all lacking of ability, it is not a big metter.（matter） Because everyone is same and is （has）litte ability to read and write. However, nowadays along with eye-catching development of society. People not only need ability to read and write ,but also need better reading and writing skills such as read other language. For instance, with an increasing trend of globlezation（globalization）, business people need to contact with foreigner corporators. Therefore, people who obtain another language write and read ability are more chance to get success.

Finally,  having a good read and write ability will increase people's life quality and people will feel happier in daily life. People through reading and writing not only train the skill , but also learn a lot knowledge. Therefore, when they confront adversity, older people my just cry for those pity. But this generation could adjust by using those skills such as readding （reading）some books who are famous in this difficult filed and have lots of experince, write dairy（diary） to realse our stress. There are lot of approaches even if you obtain the reading and writing skill. The more knowledge you obtain, the happier you are in live.

To sum up, compared with many years ago, the capability to read and write is already significant in our life, helping us overcoming difficulties and enjoying life.

sweet来斗胆说一下感受啊。如你所说，第一段第二段论证确实有问题；第三段我觉得完全OK。第一段，你应该是想论证read and write是现代社会基本要求，而你的的例子表达的意思仅仅是现在的人文化水平高于几十年前这样一个社会现实；我想这样写，应该可以：过去，人们较低的文化水平不会影响日常生活，而现在，如果你不能有良好的读写能力，你将寸步难行，所以balabala。第二段，例子表达的不是很好，论点对职业生涯有贡献，论证时，直接说globalization要求人们有更强的外文读写能力，它能帮助你获得成功。这样写，可能更加清晰明了。不知道，我的这些想法有木有一点道理？
对了，还有，拼写错误要注意哦～
加油加油！

elleven806

Teachers are appreciated and valued nowadays not as much as they were before

Nowadays, one of topic that causes concern is that teacher are appreciated and valued not as much as they were before. For my part, teacher are more significant than past as following reasons:

To begin with, the increasing chance to get education contributes directly for people to realize the appreaciated of teachers. Unlike decades year ago, few people have opportunity to be educated. They took burden of live when they are very young. Although without much knowledge, they also could get a normal life. Thus, teachers are not wlecomed and valued in that day. However, oncontrast, along with rapid development of society, the significance of teachers has been increasingly recognized when education is not a difficult thing.  For instance, in China, the current policy is that everyone should finish 9 year required education before they enter into the society. It is no doubt that this period is the most important time for one to cultivate their think mode and to accumulate knowledge. They learn from teachers. Obviously, teacher is far more influenced and valued than past time.

What's more, the most merit of teachers nowadays is they are more professional and special. In current cruel and competitive world, the fundemental skill is not enough. Every individual should find out one field which they are interested in, and get better and more precise study. In other words, teacher not only need abundant knowledge but also need well-study at certain major.  They may are expert or already study this major many years.  It is not a rare thing that one university has numerous departments, such as science, math, English and so on. In each department, there are lots of majors. Each major has too many different cources to study.  And, every cource has totally different teacher. For example, the English major has extensive reading cource, intensive reading cource, listenning cource..  There are all teached by different teacher. From this case, we could see the dramatical increase teach system and it becomes more and more perfect. Thus, it is not denying that teachers are appreciated and valued nowadays than before.

sweetyecho

elleven806 发表于 2014-6-30 11:44
6.29综合
Clearly, the professor totally disproves what is suggested in the reading passage. Accordin ...

综合么的问题，非常好！！！赞！