ChaseDream
搜索
返回列表 发新帖
楼主: xiaxiaya
打印 上一主题 下一主题

xiaxiaya的作文贴

[复制链接]
31#
 楼主| 发表于 2013-8-18 11:13:32 | 只看该作者
sallygreen 发表于 2013-8-17 18:36
【独立】8.16 (秀文式开头和结尾)
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?In the past yo ...

谢谢~昨天没来论坛,今天帮你改~

这个作文只有框架是感觉写的顺的。。例子和论证还没仔细总结和练习过,感觉写得很蹩脚,你改的那些不扣题,论证不当的问题,我写的时候也是这么觉得的。。
32#
发表于 2013-8-18 11:59:46 | 只看该作者
xiaxiaya 发表于 2013-8-18 11:13
谢谢~昨天没来论坛,今天帮你改~

这个作文只有框架是感觉写的顺的。。例子和论证还没仔细总结和练习过, ...

嘻嘻 ,不着急 ~
觉得好像你disagree the title有点难了,agree的原因会好想一点。
下面是我的一点想法对disagree的哦 :
1. compared to past, in economic aspect, children are more dependent to parents.
   --以前,chidren 上学少,工作早,早挣钱养家。现在, children usually get higher education.
   --with richer our society, children now have less sense of money
2. chioce is pretty much now(as you wrote)
   --children have poor self-control
  --parents are anxious for thier children.
3. parents's educaiton level is higher than before.
  --they have ability to help thier childre.
  --sometimes, school require the participation of parents.
4. in some developing country, the amount of children reduces. LIke CHina.
   --parents have more enery and time to focus on children.
   --parents's requirment for children is higher.

仅作参考哈~


33#
 楼主| 发表于 2013-8-18 23:12:57 | 只看该作者

综合  TPO-12  296 WORDS   
第三点听得细节不是特别清楚,模板还是没背好,浪费了点时间,不过字数有所增加,最后还差一点没写完,因为前面花了太多时间在想怎么把笔记表述出来

The reading passage presents a argument that the recently found portrait of a teenage girl owned in the Austen family is a portrait of Jane Austen. But the professor in the listening lecture disputes that the girl in the painting cannot be Jane Austen, which is opposed to the reading passage. And the professor supports his idea based on the following reasons.

To begin with, even though they Austen family have confirmed the in girl in the portrait is Jane Austen, the professor argues that the Austen family's confirmation is not a perfect evidence to claim that the girl in the portrait is Jane Austen. He explains that the family members, who made the confirmation and permission to use the portrait as an illustration in Jane Austen's letters,  have seen the Jane Austen themselves. Because the permission and confirmation were made almost 70 years after the death of Jane Austen.

Moreover, the professor contends that the girl in the picture might be a relative of Jane Austen rather than Jane Austen herself, whereas the reading passage says the  portrait is alike the one in Cassandra's sketch. It is because any girl in the same age of Austen in the Austen family can look like Jane Austen. The professor cited Marry and the other girls in the Austen family as an example, who were in the same age as Jane in that time.

Finally, the professor argues that the painter Ozias Humphrey cannot be the painter of this portrait, because the painting later is dated and Ozias did not start to paint until his was 21 years old, which means that the painting was created earlier than Ozias began to paint. So this is totally disproves the claim in the passage that Ozias is the painter of this pro
trait.

独立
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than to older people.

破题花了很长时间。。而且感觉 mor important到底指什么我根本没想明白。。写了一个小时写了些乱七八糟的。。结尾就不写了。。即使是两段也能飙到快五百了。。所以还是缺乏练习。。考试迫在眉睫了。。很捉急T.T。


Even though often viewed important by thepublic for its influence, the opinions of the well-know people in a society,like famous entertainers and athletes, can play an important part for all thesocial members, not only the younger but also the older, several factors, suchas the frequency to receive these opinions, the different characters of theyoung and the old contributes to this issue. Therefore, I note that the ideasof the well-know people in a society are more important to younger people thanthe older ones.


To begin with, the younger people are morelikely to get in touch with and influenced by the thoughts of the socialcelebrities, due to the fact that teenagers or people in their 20s morefrequently use the new medias where the celebrities’ ideas can be quickly andinfluentially conveyed to them. Since this higher rate of using internet andnew medias, the thoughts of the well-known can have more deeply impact on youngpeople and consequently become a coordinate to guide the younger's behavior.The fancy passion of teenagers to trace a singer or idle in Facebook can be agood example. Teenagers in their ages like fashion and popular singers orathletes, such as Talor Sweft, Jastin Biber and C. Ronadal, so they follow themin Facebook to see what they thinks and what they are doing. Graduallyinfluenced by the celebrities’ posts, teenagers’ ideological prefers areunconsciously similar to their model, so does their behavior. But this lesshappened to the older people, since they are less interested in the well-knownsports starts or singers.


Moreover, the similarity of the charactersbetween the young and the well-known people can be another explanation for thefact the thoughts of the celebrities are more accepted by the younger than theolder. It cannot be denied that becoming welcomed by the public means thecelebrities have acceptable characters for the most people in our society. Butvirtually, they are more resembled to the young than the old, which iscontributed to their widely acceptation among young people. In other words, thesports starts or singers in some degrees have something in common with theyoung people, hence the young people regard them as represents, which speak forthe unique feature of the young themselves. It's no surprise to see that the fansof a certain popular singer will defend their idol, as if they are fighting forthemselves. In a word, the younger people take their idols as important representativesfor their own because of the similarity, while the older people with lesschance find the importance among the popular singers or sports stars due tolack of the things in common.


In conclusion....


34#
发表于 2013-8-18 23:47:33 | 只看该作者
今天好像是我改你的,你写独立+综合吗
35#
 楼主| 发表于 2013-8-19 00:30:05 | 只看该作者
Mint静默 发表于 2013-8-18 23:47
今天好像是我改你的,你写独立+综合吗

嗯,是的
36#
发表于 2013-8-19 00:31:02 | 只看该作者
xiaxiaya 发表于 2013-8-19 00:30
嗯,是的

我也是~~
我明天下午贴出我的作文哈!一起互改~~
37#
 楼主| 发表于 2013-8-19 00:33:06 | 只看该作者
Mint静默 发表于 2013-8-19 00:31
我也是~~
我明天下午贴出我的作文哈!一起互改~~

恩恩~咱们是写18号的吧。。因为队长两天没更新那个帖子了。。
38#
 楼主| 发表于 2013-8-19 00:34:45 | 只看该作者
Mint静默 发表于 2013-8-19 00:31
我也是~~
我明天下午贴出我的作文哈!一起互改~~

话说。。好像没有更新18号的互改安排呀
39#
发表于 2013-8-19 00:34:58 | 只看该作者
xiaxiaya 发表于 2013-8-19 00:33
恩恩~咱们是写18号的吧。。因为队长两天没更新那个帖子了。。

是的~~~~~
40#
发表于 2013-8-19 00:36:04 | 只看该作者
xiaxiaya 发表于 2013-8-19 00:34
话说。。好像没有更新18号的互改安排呀

在群里说的,因为你占位占成第六期的了,他很晚才看到,我又很晚才占位,所以我们两就凑一块了。。。
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 立即注册

Mark一下! 看一下! 顶楼主! 感谢分享! 快速回复:

所属分类: TOEFL / IELTS

近期活动

正在浏览此版块的会员 ()

手机版|ChaseDream|GMT+8, 2025-2-28 03:47
京公网安备11010202008513号 京ICP证101109号 京ICP备12012021号

ChaseDream 论坛

© 2003-2025 ChaseDream.com. All Rights Reserved.

返回顶部