新加入的童鞋。。。求带。。。

tsyxyss

23 January
Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
Students can get as many benefits from organization or club activities as they can get from their academic studies.

Perhaps no issue in this world is as significant to our students' future as our performance in academic studies. However, we should not ignore the benefits of organization or club activities to our students. It is not rare in our modern world that numerous students focusing merely on study get mental diseases or physical diseases. I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that students can get as many benefits from organization or club activities as they can get from their academic studies.

To begin with, our youths can relax themselves and refresh their mind by attending different kinds of organizations and club activities after a day's effort on academic studies. For instance, I have taken part in table tennis club in our school, where I practice my skills with all sorts of students from different departments who have the same interest. Throwing away our complicated academic problems, we assembly every Saturday afternoon and play table tennis together. We become friends and share experience with each other no matter who they are. Thus, students will be able to have a good experience that will leave them a relaxed mind by participating those after class activities.

Furthermore, joining in organizations and clubs can sometimes promote teenagers' a variety of abilities and develop a good habit to benefit our society. There is no better illustration than the example that if one is a leader of a voluntary organization, he can not only promote his organizing ability but also devote his spare time to helping society. He can realize the meaning of his life and gain happy mood from the devotion although he may sacrifice his invaluable time for voluntary work, which seem to have little utilitarian use.

Moreover, it is beneficial for teenagers' academic studies to take part in organizations and club activities. According to a recent psychological result, tired and stressful people who are not able to be concentrate on their study or work can focus on them again after participating in some outdoor activities or just doing something else. So that means joining in those clubs or organizations can benefit our students' academic performance in return.

Nevertheless, my opinion does not suggest that our academic studies should be abandoned but rather included along with those indispensible factors, like participating in organizations and club activities, which will lead to glory future of our adolescent. Academic performance is still among most parents' top concerns and students have to use their studying report as anchor when applying for the future study. But that does not matter the thing that students will get as many benefits from organization or club activities as they can get from their academic studies.

All in all, we can safely conclude that those activities will benefit them as much as they can get from academic studies, relaxing their bodies after a tired day, promote their own abilities, learning a good habit to devote to society, and benefit their study in return.



Integrated Writing:
TPO 23
The lecturer claims that three hypotheses mentioned in the reading passage are not convincing and the reason why the populations of yellow cedar decline is still unknown.

Frist, the lecturer argues that beetles or other parasites are not the reason that makes the yellow cedar decline dramatically. This is because there are poisonous chemical compounds in yellow cedars' bark and leaves that makes bugs that eat them die, which means the yellow cedar can resist those beetles. Clearly, the professor's argument disproves its counterpart in the passage that those insects eating yellow cedars' bark and leaves will make its population decline.

Furthermore, the professor believes that the second hypothesis that bears attribute the decline of the yellow cedar is not well-rounded. Then he supports his point with the fact that there are no bears in islands in spite of the decline of the yellow cedar in islands. In other words, the decline of its population is not only in mainland where bears inhabit but also in islands where bears do not live. This point of view is in marked contrast to the assertion in the passage that bears can ruin those trees.

Finally, regarding the third hypothesis that frozen root damage caused by climate change can lead to the decline of this kind of tree, the speaker contends that this speculation is not in accordance with the reality. The passage says that the frozen root damage may kill those trees, which means more trees should die in cold temperature, like in higher elevation. However, the fact is that more trees die in lower elevation, where is warmer.

tsyxyss

太感谢了，我是照模板写的，模板比较啰嗦，难怪，深谢！！！

tsyxyss

Integrated Writing:
TPO 24

The lecturer claim that ridiculous seemsthe announcement of the discovery of the remains in the T. rex's leg bonementioned in the reading passage. Then he rebuts the reading passage's opinionin three following points.

Frist, the lecturer does not argue that thesoft substance in the bone means the remains of the actual blood vessels of T.rex. This is because the soft material in the bone may come from bacteria,which is likely to colonize in the hollow bones. In other words, the softsubstance is the residue left by bacteria. Clearly, the professor's argumentdisprove its counterpart in the reading passage that the soft substance mayrepresent the remains of blood vessels of T. rex.

Moreover, the professor believes that thespheres presenting in the bones may not be red blood cells. Then he supportshis view with the fact that researchers have found some spheres in the fossilsof some animals that do not have red blood cells, which means that the presenceof those spheres in bones cannot prove the existence of red blood cells, as thepassage says.

Finally, regarding the presence ofcollagen, the speaker contends that the dinosaur's collagen cannot exist forsuch a long period at all. He proves this claim is indefensible by pointing outthat the collagen will not be able to exist for more than 100'000 years althoughthe fact is that the fossil has been already present for 17 million years. Thisis in direct contradiction with the claim in the passage that the dinosaur legbone contains collagen.  


24 January
Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
Governments should focus its budgets more on environmental protectionthan on economic development.
Perhaps no issue in this world is assignificant to the prosperity of a country as the economic development. Yetthat does not mean that we should abandon our environment to pursue theeconomic development. On present, we are experiencing an unprecedented climatechange due to the increasing greenhouse gases, citizens have to work in a worseair condition in our cities and a number of dwellers living in remote areacannot drink safely clean water. All those prevailing phenomena remind us topay more attention to our environmental protection. I, given the chance, preferto endorse that government should focus its budget more on environmentalprotection than on economic development.

To begin with, environmental protection isso urgent that those environmental problems have endangered not only our ownlife but also other species' life, so our government has responsibility tofocus its budgets more on environmental protection. For instance,desertification and deforestation have happen to a large scale to build cities,graze, and cultivate farmlands for the sake of the utilitarian purpose, or tobe precise, the economic goal. The deforestation and desertification cause byhuman beings deplete a wide range of habitats of a number of species of floraand fauna, which will cause a variety of extinction of animals and plantsleading to the imbalance of our ecosystem. As the consequence, this willfinally endanger us. There is another example also illustrating this point.Since the industrial revolution started, our human beings have been usingfossil fuels dramatically for about two centuries, causing a large amount ofgreenhouse gases, such as carbon dioxide and methane, into our atmosphere. Theresult is that the greenhouse effect caused by greenhouse gases give rise tothe continue increasing temperature. When our earth become warmer, the glacialin North and South pole begins to melt generating the rise of sea level whichwill eventually overwhelm some island countries.

Furthermore, our protection of environmentwill benefit our economy in return. If our governments focus its budgets moreon environmental protection, no doubt our environment will become cleaner andmore suitable for us to live. But the most crucial thing is that the betterenvironment will attract more visitors to our country, which will stimulate theincrease of economy to some extent. If the tourism develops, it will motivatethe development of catering industry and entertainment industry at the sametime, since no visitors do not long for enjoying local cuisine andentertainment during a trip.  

Admittedly, I tend to concede that in somecases, it may be true that governments should focus its budgets more oneconomic development when our citizens would not be able to cope with theproblems of the desire of adequate food and cloth. However, our country hasalready solved those problems at present. What our government should pay moreattention on is how to use more budgets to protect our environment moreefficiently under the circumstance that our environment is too bad to live in.

In brief, for the reasons listed above, wecan safely concluded that governments should focus its budgets more onenvironmental protection than on economic development.

wsxz007

Integrated Writing:
TPO 23  批改
The lecturer claims that three hypotheses mentioned in the reading passage are not convincing and the reason why the populations of yellow cedar decline is still unknown.

Frist, the lecturer argues that beetles or other parasites are not the reason that makes the yellow cedar decline dramatically. This is because there are poisonous chemical compounds in yellow cedars' bark and leaves that makes bugs that eat them die, which means the yellow cedar can resist those beetles. Clearly, the professor's argument disproves its counterpart in the passage that those insects eating yellow cedars' bark and leaves will make its population decline.

Furthermore, the professor believes that the second hypothesis that bears attribute the decline of the yellow cedar is not well-rounded. Then he supports his point with the fact that there are no bears in islands in spite of the decline of the yellow cedar in islands. In other words, the decline of its population is not only in mainland where bears inhabit but also in islands where bears do not live. This point of view is in marked contrast to the assertion in the passage that bears can ruin those trees.

Finally, regarding the third hypothesis that frozen root damage caused by climate change can lead to the decline of this kind of tree, the speaker contends that this speculation is not in accordance with the reality. The passage says that the frozen root damage may kill those trees, which means more trees should die in cold temperature, like in higher elevation. However, the fact is that more trees die in lower elevation, where is warmer.


这个基本没啥问题啊，上一篇好像也是我改的，你写的很熟了，不过要是不太着急考试的话（考前十天半月的），基本知道综合是咋回事就行了，没必要天天练得，综合就是练个手感，建议可以把重心移到独立上，独立好了，综合基本没问题了（当然听力是前提）

tsyxyss

我寒假一完就考啊

bet

改——22 January
Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
Nowadays it's easier to maintain health than the past

Perhaps no issue in this world is as significant to people's life as health. Despite various responses people may have the topic（give to the question） that whether nowadays it is easier to maintain health than the past. I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that we can gain a healthy life nowadays than the past.

Asked what the ever-changing world will do to our modern life, some citizens may answer that living in such a fast-changing world would not be easy and comfortable at all; as everything keeps changing, everyone has to move fast in order to catch up with the majority, which often leads to chronic diseases.这句话说人们因为要加快步伐所以得了慢性疾病？？意思不通啊，可以分成两句写的再明白点儿，或者把后面这句提到stressed的话换到前面Admittedly, the quickened tempo in modern world making（which makes） a wide range of people feel stressed and tired is bad for our heath.这句话我建议这样改，把making后面的部分变成tempo的定语，否则S+Ving+O这种形式做主语好奇怪 But actually, I think that we can easier maintain health at present than in the past. 这一段是一个让步段对吧，单独作为一段又放在首段下面的形式我还没见过，个人感觉有点儿奇怪，因为读起来像有两个开头段，去掉一段也行。要不考虑换个位置？

To begin with, a large number of facilities and equipment built in our communities provide our dwellers a good opportunity to exercise. Looking back to past generations, our grandparents could not find aneligible place to play basketball, for example, when they were children. They must agree that the thought is ridiculous and what every day they worry about is whether they can fill the belly instead of being forever hungry.整句话的时态应该怎么改改，前半句是虚拟语气，后半句是过去时？好复杂啊。。后半句用现在时肯定不对Rusty and old as our basketball playground is, we at least have one and it is unbelievable to have a basketball playground at that age 加上in the past. Our dwellers can aggregate together to play basketball in order to relax themselves after a day's hard work.

Furthermore, people pay more attention to our health, as our medical science become more and more sophisticated and all kinds of media broadcast how to make our bodies healthier. There is no better illustration than the example of my parents. Living in metropolitan area, they are busy in their schedule, chasing their dreams, working hard to buy a house and caring about（taking care of）their children. Yet that(it) does 加上not mean their health are（is） abandoned(ignored) but rather included along with those indispensible factors.后半句实在不会改，主要是没看懂They often watch the programs in the televisions 加上about how to protect(maintain) their health and do some Yoga after work. They are always talking to me(often tell me that) there is nothing more important than the health.

Last but not the least, in our age, we can visit to(删) more professional and sophisticated doctors who often get a doctor degree, 加上and even have studied in famous universities abroad. We do not have to be afraid of many diseases because of advanced medical science and professional doctors. We can lead a healthy life and develop good living habit, since we have a better traditional Chinese medical science.这个论据插入的有点儿突兀，突然到了中医（是这么理解不？）上面，貌似跟现代医学多么发达无关，因为中医古代也有啊，而且后面也没有解释啥的了

All in all, for the reasons above, we can safely conclude that nowadays it is easier to maintain health than the past, for our citizens have better facilities, people at our age more focus on (focus more on) health, and we have more eminent doctors.



本文词汇丰富，语言多彩，可以看出你较好的写作功底，一些语法方面的小问题要注意一下，表达不清的句子改的明白些就好了～～加油加油～～

wsxz007

24 January  批改
Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
Governments should focus its budgets more on environmental protection than on economic development.
红色的都是小的拼写错误，或者两个单词连在一起了。

Perhaps no issue in this world is as significant to the prosperity of a country as the economic development. 第一句话过于绝对了Yet that does not mean that we should abandon our environment to pursue the economic development. On present, we are experiencing an unprecedented climate change due to the increasing greenhouse gases, citizens have to work in a worse air condition in our cities and a number of dwellers living in remote area cannot drink safely clean water. All those prevailing phenomena remind us to pay more attention to our environmental protection. I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that government should focus its budget more on environmental protection than on economic development.

To begin with, environmental protection is so urgent that those environmental problems have endangered not only our own life but also other species' life,第一句指出环境的重要性，很明确很简洁 so our government has responsibility to focus its budgets more on environmental protection. 分论点不必重复总论的内容 For instance,desertification and deforestation have happen to a large scale to build cities,graze, and cultivate farmlands for the sake of the utilitarian purpose, or tobe precise, the economic goal.举例--等等的环境破坏为了急功近利的经济目的，但是作文中例证都是为前面的观点服务的，本段第一句的观点按你写的应该是和总论点一样了，可是分论点在哪里啊？ The deforestation and desertification cause by human beings deplete a wide range of habitats of a number of species of flora and fauna, which will cause a variety of extinction of animals and plants leading to the imbalance of our ecosystem. As the consequence, this will finally endanger us. There is another example also illustrating this point.Since the industrial revolution started, our human beings have been using fossil fuels dramatically for about two centuries, causing a large amount of greenhouse gases, such as carbon dioxide and methane, into our atmosphere. The result is that the greenhouse effect caused by greenhouse gases give rise to the continue increasing temperature. When our earth become warmer, the glacialin North and South pole begins to melt generating the rise of sea level which will eventually overwhelm some island countries.


Furthermore, our protection of environment will benefit our economy in return. If our governments focus its budgets more on environmental protection, no doubt our environment will become cleaner and more suitable for us to live.你是要写好的环境与经济相辅相成还是要写好的环境更适应人类聚居？这应该是两个分论点啊…… But the most crucial thing is that the better environment will attract more visitors to our country, which will stimulate thein crease of economy to some extent. 这里又开始写旅游了……If the tourism develops, it will motivate the development of catering industry and entertainment industry at the same time, since no visitors do not long for enjoying local cuisine and entertainment during a trip.  又写了第三产业拉动第一产业…… 看到这里我已经晕了……

Admittedly, I tend to concede that in some cases, it may be true that governments should focus its budgets more on economic development when our citizens would not be able to cope with the problems of the desire of adequate food and cloth.这句话是要说啥？ However, our country has already solved those problems at present. What our government should pay more attention on is how to use more budgets to protect our environment more efficiently under the circumstance that our environment is too bad to live in.有重复了总论点……

In brief, for the reasons listed above, we can safely concluded that governments should focus its budgets more on environmental protection than on economic development.

这个，楼主的语言功底是在是佩服，句子十分成熟词汇丰富运用得当，是我奋斗的目标。不过这个整个文章的逻辑分析实在是不太清晰。

第一段里，说了环境的重要性，然后开始列举环境各种糟糕现象，我隐隐感觉到楼主想说的是对短期经济利益的盲目追求，造成了现在的环境问题。可是表明分论点的句子在哪里啊 亲……
第二段开始写了好的经济环境可以促进经济和改善人类居住环境，拉动旅游业……我用力的想，勉强想到了总论点，可是逻辑链十分微弱。
第三段，我彻底懵了……

楼主的文章只要逻辑稍加整理句子调调顺序就是非常好的文章，可是现在实在是太难抓到文章梗概了。
本篇文章四个名词 政府 预算 环境 经济 一个副词 更多
1环境很重要，破坏不可逆，但人们没有充分意识到环境的重要性，以及环境糟糕的现状，需要政府宏观调控，显示威力
2 环境的可持续发展与经济发展人类生存息息相关相辅相成，而现在的环境保护跟不上经济发展的脚步，需调整
3 辩证的看待问题，不仅要关心环境，政府也要正确的看待经济发展，引导正确经济发展方向，摒弃原始的以环境破坏为代价的经济发展，更多投资于可持续发展经济项目

这个是我在你的文章基础上总结的，尚不成熟仅供参考哈……

wsxz007

24的综合 我也看完了，逻辑都对了，就木有啥问题了，就是每次写完后先贴到word上检查一下吧，那个连字的现象很多。

tsyxyss

Perhaps, no issue is as significant to the propertiy of a country asthe youth. Currently, everyone is talking

about the problems of the youth. Smarter as nowadays teenagers seemto be, most of seniors believe that they are more selfish, more egoentric, andmore indifferent with our world. I, given the chance, prefer to endorse thattoday's young people are less willing to help people than the past generationsare.

To begin with, we are now living in an age of revolution with noprevious human exprience that can be referred to. The modern world moves sofast that we do not feel easy and comfortable at all. Everyone has to move fastincluding our youths in order to catch up with the majority in thisever-changing world. Our young people are enforced to learn a second languagefor the sake of a better university and published a number of papers in orderto get a handsome job. Our youths are too busy to notice the old or disablepeople who need their necessary help in this fast-changing world, even if it shouldhave been their responsiblity to help those inneed people. In spite of thedisire to give a hand for others, the new generation of young people are urgedto do something more crucial by their parents or teachers for the utilitirianpurpose. So when facing people in need, what our young people do is more likelyto go away instead of helping them like our past generation, since what ourseniors need to consider is that they have to burdon more than the pastgeneration do.

Furthermore, another detrimental factor that make our youths moreindifferent is the prevailing deception in our modern world. Facing the commondeception, our adolescent prefers to keep indifferent and go away rather thanhelp people who seem to be in need. For instance, a friend of mine has beendecepted recently. When he went back home from the school, he saw an old womanlying on the road painfully. Without hesitation, he went to help her. However,what made him annoyed and surprised was that the old lady assured that it wasmy friend who pushed her down and asked my friend to pay money back. As aresult, my friend was unwilling to give her some money angrily. Therefore, ouryoung people less help others than  thepast generations due to such phenomena in case of jeopardizing their own profits.

Last but not the least, there is another significant factor thatgive negative influence on our teenagers. That is that our educational systempay more attention on pragmatic things instead of moral education. Although notonly do our teenagers learn how to solve difficult academic problems but alsothey enter into an awesome university, they do not even know they areresponsible to help peope in need. As a consequence, the new generation is lesswilling to help others than the past generations are.

All in all, as the reasons listed above that our youths focus moreon urgent things, helping others may jeopardize their profits, and oureducational system is more pragmitic, we can safely conclude that the newgeneration of youths are less likely to help others than the past generationsare.

SMS

tsyxyss你好，膜拜了你的文章，真是望尘莫及啊。我现在能看出来的只有些单词连在一起的小错误，不知道为什么会有那么多那样的错误，可能你打字太快了。我希望今天晚上能抓紧完成我的作业，明天一天没时间，所以这次非常抱歉不能在你的作业上涂鸦了。请告知队长，实在不好意思。


另外，好像题目变了。是不是要写新出来的这篇 啊？