kchszy061ban的作业贴

kchszy061ban

When it comes to the question of how to improve the quality of shcool,some people think the key factor is famous teachers,while others believe facilities are the most improant aspect to evaluate whether a school is advanced or not.Compared with hiring famous teachers,improving facilities can benefit both students and teachers,facilities can endure a long time,and always stay in one school instead come to other place.With the help of advanced facilities,many famous teachers can be cultivated by these facilities.However,famous teachers may become unknown as the development of society and science.

Facilities can be used by students and teachers,while famous teachers are only famous for themselves.Students and teachers can use the facilities whenever they want to and need to,while teachers may not available sometimes,especially teachers which are in the front rank.They have to do more things such as giving a speech,attending meetings,interviewed by reporters and so forth,the reason is they are famous.When a high-level laboratory is built in one school,students and teachers have the chance to do experiments that they did not have such equipments before.After the appearence of advanced facilities,the quality of school can be ensured.

The life of the facilities are long enough to meet several generations' needs.The first thing to start a school is consructing classrooms,dormrooms,office buildings,and so on.The labrary in our university were built in 1958,and are still working today.And I know some buildings in Harvard university have a history as 400 years long.They become indispensible parts of the school and contribute to the fame of the campous.

It almost human nature that they do not want to stay in one place for most of their life time,human continuously want to make some changes.If one school have the ability to attract famous teachers from other schools without high-tech facilities,the shcool may give them high salaries.Therefore,if another school give these famous teachers higher salaries,they will certainly leave and start to work at that school.However,facilities lack the ability to move,and once they have been consructed,they will stay there for their lifetime.Also,facilitis build the foundation for futuer upgrade,and they can be upgraded quickly,easily and cheaply.While it is more difficult to make a famous teacher more famous.And to hire a new famous teahcer would definitely cost so much than upgrade an existed facilities.

Of course,hiring famous teacher is one choice to make a school well-known,and through this way,the school can obtain this goal more easily because these teachers are already admitted by the society.However,facilities give school the ability to arract famous teachers,the requisite to cultivate famous teachers by the school itself.Thus,compared with hiring famous teachers,the more reasonable choice would be pay more attention to improve facilities.

kchszy061ban

综合 TPO21

Compare with nutural trees,the reading cites several benefits of growing genetically modified trees.However,the professor in the lecture does not think so,and she point out problems about genetically modified trees.

The professor first states that genetically modified trees are not harder than nature trees as what the reading said.Nature trees are more diversified,therefore,some species of them can survive under different climate changes and pest infections.While genetically modified trees lack the ability to resist new virus,and they are always uniform,thus can be easily wiped out if they can not withstand certain climate change,virus or pest.

Moreover,the professor argues the hiden costs of genetically modified trees are more than what the reading passage estimated.Farmers needs to pay for seeds,the price of these seeds usually more expensive than nature trees.According to the law,farmers have to pay for the company if they want to plant these trees using the seeds their trees produced.

In the end,the lecturer disagree with the point made in the reading that genetically modified trees prevent overexploitation of nature trees.Instead,these trees bring more damage to nature trees.The reason is that these trees grow more aggressively than nature trees.They compete with nature trees for nutrient elments,sunlight and water.They can easily wiped out nature trees in the region they growed.

kchszy061ban

综合 TPO22

The reading passage states that ethanol fuel is not an ideal alternative to gasoline for three reasons.On the contrary,the professor in the lecture does not agree with those points from the critics of the production of ethanol fuel.

First,the professor argues that even the burning of ethanol fuel does release carbon dioxide into the atmosphere,the materials which make it such as corn need carbon dioxide as a form of nutrient.Thus,the plants which the ethanol fuel made from are absorbing carbon dioxide.So,the process of producing ethanol fuel.

Then,the professor states that the production ethanol fuel will not reduce the food supply of animals.The reason is that producers use cellucose,which is the plants' cell walls,to produce ethanol fuel.And cell walls are not eaten by animals.So,the production of ethanol fuel would not reduce the available food resource for animals.

In the end,the professor positively believe that the price of ethanol fuel would drop.He said that producers of the ethanol fuel will not need government subsides if they increase the amount of production.The price will go down by 40% if the production of ethanol fuel is three times greater than before.

In conclusion,the lecturer firmly believe that ethanol fuel would be an alternative to gasoline.

yangyangyu

#6.14# Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Compared with hiring famous teachers, school should pay more attention to improve facilities.

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

When it comes to the question of how to improve the quality of ashcool(school),some people think the key factor is famous teachers,while others believe facilities are the most improant(important) aspect to evaluate whether a school is advanced or not.(感觉这里有点重复啦)Compared with hiring famous teachers,improving facilities can benefit both students and teachers,facilities can endure a long time,and always stay in one school instead come to other place. With the help of advanced facilities,many famous teachers can be cultivated by these facilities.However,famous teachers may become unknown as the development of society and science.(这句话有点杂糅哦还有逻辑有点问题,其实我大概明白你的意思,就是"facilities"相较一定,teachers 的"famous"与否是难以衡量、容易改变,恩,但是句子看看怎么说会很有效啊)

Facilities can be used by students and teachers,while famous teachers are only famous for themselves(? 感觉这句话有点makes nonsense to me哈, 虽然facilities can be used by both students and teachers, 但是 teachers 也可以通过授课把知识教给学生，或者老师之间也是可以相互交流心得、思想的嘛？).Students and teachers can use the facilities whenever they want to and need to ( have the need 是不是会好一点?),while teachers may not be available sometimes,especially teachers which are (those) in the front rank(top rank 会不会好点?).They have to do more things such as giving a speech,attending meetings,interviewed by reporters(这个应该做不了名词哈, 或者"attending meetings or interviews”合在一起怎么样?) and so forth,the reason is they are famous.When a high-level laboratory is built in one school,students and teachers have the chance to do experiments that they did not have such equipments before( which they were unable to carry on before).After the appearence(读着有点怪怪的,恩,或者整句改一下?见后文蓝色部分)of advanced facilities,the quality of school can be ensured.( The set of advanced facilities help ensure the academic performance of the school)

The life of the facilities are long enough to meet several generations' needs.The first thing to start a school is consructing(constructing) classrooms,dormrooms(dorms?),office buildings,and so on.The labrary(library) in our university were built in 1958,and are still working(in operation) today.And I know some buildings in Harvard university have a history as 400 years long( or maybe it's better to say "And I know some buildings in Harvard university can be dated back to 1600s"?会不会好点).They become indispensible parts of the school and contribute to the fame of the campous(campus).

It almost human nature that they do not want to stay in one place for most of their life time,human continuously want to make some changes.( It's a human nature that we do not want to just stay in one place for so long, instead we continuously desire to make some changes) If one school have the ability to attract famous teachers from other schools without high-tech facilities,the shcool may give them high salaries.（这个point我觉得很不错啊!very good!!, if one school have the ability to attract those famous teachers, other schools offering even better salary and research environment may have better possiblity win them over)Therefore,if another school give these famous teachers higher salaries,they will certainly(有点绝对了哦) leave and start to work at that school.However,facilities lack the ability to move,and once they have been consructed,they will stay there for their lifetime.Also,facilitis build the foundation for futuer(future) upgrade,and they can be upgraded quickly,easily and cheaply.While it is more difficult to make a famous teacher more famous.And to hire a new famous teahcer would definitely cost so much than upgrade an existed facilities.(这个point感觉也不错哦!很棒)

Of course,hiring famous teacher is one choice to make a school well-known,and through this way,the school can obtain this goal more easily because these teachers are already admitted by the society( and it's a comparably easier way, for the already existed reputation of those famous teachers may bring their influence with them to the school.) However,facilities give school the ability to arract(attract) famous teachers,the requisite to cultivate famous teachers by the school itself.Thus,compared with hiring famous teachers,the more reasonable choice would be pay more attention to improve facilities.

小结：
ban ban 拼写以后要注意哦, 可以在po上来之前用word检查一下拼写错误啦
还有句子的grammar,有的地方有点杂糅哈
文中有几个point我觉得挺好的呢, ^^
因为我们两个写的点是反的,我支持famous teachers. 恩,我觉得你的破提点就在: 1.facilities是attract famous teachers的基础: e.g 提供 research environment,lab. 2.facilities 本来存在，ungrade成本比招一个新老师少 3.我想你可不可以再从学生角度来想呢？e.g facilities 帮助老师,同样更是帮助学生更好地学习.呵呵，好啦，我暂时就想这么多了，欢迎各种brainstorm，我们一起来讨论吧！加油加油！

gre呀gre

TPO22 综合


The reading passage states that ethanol fuel is not an ideal alternative to gasoline for three reasons. On the contrary, the professor in the lecture does not agree with those points from the critics of the production of ethanolfuel.（1.前面已经说过是ethanol fuel，后面再用ethanol就好，要不字数容易超，原文也是这样写的；2.后面有两个of，用法没有错，我自己觉得两个of会显得有点重复，the critics of the ethanol production 这样写会简洁一点）

First, the professor argues that even（though的意思更符合吧） the burning of ethanol fuel does release carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, the materials which make it such as corn need carbon dioxide as a form of nutrient.（后半句结构和意思有点乱啊，整理一下吧，我觉得你是想说the materials which are part of the nutrition of some plants such as corns. 那个carbon dioxide既然用作定语从句要指代的东西，就不需要放出来了）Thus, the plants which the ethanol fuel made from are absorbing carbon dioxide. So, the process of producing ethanol fuel.（最后一句So，XXXXXXXX怎么没写完？两个所以也重复了，我觉得改成Since the process of producing ethanol counteracts the carbon dioxide when burning ethanol，the growing plants, in fact, remove the carbon dioxide from the atmosphere. 这样会好一些吧）缺少的reading的要点：Ethanol和gasoline一样，燃烧的时候会释放二氧化碳，温室气体，会带来global warming.


Then, the professor states that the production ethanol fuel will not reduce the food supply of animals. The reason is that producers use cellucose (celluloses（单数cellulose）纤维素的意思，能听出来很棒！), which is（are） the plants' cell walls, to produce ethanol fuel. And cell walls are not eaten by animals.（我觉得这一句加到前面那句当定于从句会更好一些，因为连着两个cell walls显得有点重复了）So, the production of ethanol fuel would not reduce the available food resource for animals.缺少的reading的要点：需要用现在生产的60%的玉米才能满足10%的燃料需求，所以生产ethanol消耗的植物会使得动物消失。


In the end, the professor positivelybelieve（believes） that the price of ethanol fuel would drop. He said（says 时态要一致啊GN！） that producers of the ethanol fuel will not need government subsides if they increase the amount of production. The price will go down by 40% if the production of ethanol fuel is three times greater than before.（这一段意思没有听全：未来，ethanol的价钱和gasoline相比会很有竞争力，虽然现在政府的支持使得ethanol比正常情况便宜很多，但是这种政府支持不需要持续很久。因为一旦人们都开始买ethanol，ethanol的生产商会提高产量，高产量会使得它价格下跌，从而使得生产它变得更可行。研究表明，如果ethanol产量是现在的3倍，那么单位成本会下跌40%。这些是我归纳出来的意思）缺少的reading的要点：虽然对于消费者来说，gasoline和ethanol的价格一样，但是没有了政府对于ethanol的税收优惠，ethanol价格会高很多。


In conclusion, the lecturer firmly believe（believes） that ethanol fuel would be an alternative to gasoline.



有错误换成高端词小错误没错误如果改了效果更好文章缺少的点

1.总字数220，我忘了要求字数最多是200还是220了，总之，稍微再控制一下。

2.不知道是不是因为直接复制的关系，还是因为不知道有这样的要求，总之呢，标点符号后面一定要加空格再写下一个单词。大概就是这样：In the end,(空格) the professor XXXXXXXXXXXX.

3.单复数变化和时态这样的小问题一定要注意啊姑娘！老外都不喜欢这样的错误

4.高端和低端的词要岔开用，全篇都是高端的可以，但是都是低端的词就会让改作文的老师觉得你词汇量不够，建议多背模版词，让开头的单词稍微高端一点，毕竟考T的目的就是要给米国人显摆咱们的英语水平呢~

5.Reading部分的总结呢？虽然综合写作的要突出听力部分，但是Reading的部分咱也不能一点都没有不是？下次写作的时候记得一定要加上！否则就算听力听的再完整，也还是会被扣很多分的！
   .S.不好意思，我也没想到我这么罗嗦- -

kchszy061ban

太感谢了，不过我是爷们不是姑娘，失望米有？嘿嘿，不过我喜欢姑娘，虽然暂时木有姑凉喜欢我。  网页的排版搞的不好，下次一定注意，我太粗心，又懒不想写完检查。

yangyangyu

Hey, 我们又是一组哦~只是今天我爸专门过来看我，我可能就晚一点给你改啊。。话说你还木有上文呢~~呵呵，就可能稍微晚点改啦哈，先来占个座啦，抱歉~

kchszy061ban

6月15日110514 ML
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It was easier for people in the past to identify which type of career or job would have a secure or successful future.

Obviously,a career with secure and successful future is expected by every job hunter.As the competition becomes more and more intensified,some of them wish they would live in the ancient time,becasue they think it was easier to choose a secure job in the past.Based on the simple life style,few kinds of jobs,slight competition in the past,their expectation seems sound.While,compared to ancient society,job hunters now can get more experiences from successul workers,have scientic prediction for the future of certain career,and more opportunities to taste different jobs by themselves.Therefore,to identify which type of career would have a secure future becomes easier in modern society.

One benefit of modern sociey brings to identify a secure job is the information provided by various media.Job seekers now can use Internet,TV,newspapers,magazines to search the successful experiences of excellent workers.By using these media,one of my classmates find a job he satisfied with.At the beginning of his job hunting process,he did not know how to identify a woderful job.Then he strated to use the Internet to find clues to this question.He talked to different sucessful workers on-line,interviewed many bosses to ask their attitudes of which was a secure career,and how they thought the futue of their job.Base on the information he collected and his carefull analysis,finally he found a suitable job.

Moreover,people now can use new inventions to estimate the future development of a career.With the help of computors,scientists can use mathematic models to produce a general trend of a certain career in the next few years.This trend gives job hunters a guide to judge which job will decline and which will fourish in the future.On the contrary,people in the past had no computors to make prediction.Their judgement mainly based on their successor's experiences,and many of them did the same job as their parents did.

Also,nowadays,people have more opportunities to choose different jobs,and they can change their jobs easily if they find the job is not suitable for them or it has no bright future.Air-plane gives job hunters the convenience to go distant places for seeking jobs,the distance between New York and Beijing only take them several hours.Meanwhile,they can use the Internet and cell phone to search job information,talk with employers,and they do not need to make a face to face interview with them,they just can do these things sit in the chair in their home when they have spare time.The contract between them can last for one year or more,when the contract lose its effctiveness, job hunter can start a new job or continue the same one if they think the job is really secure.

Of course,job hunters in the past had the advantage that they only needed to focus on only a few kinds of job available at that time.And most of the jobs were inherited by their offsprings or apprentices,some of the skills they used were kept secret to ensure their success.However,job hunters today have a much broader vision than their ancient counterparts,have more opportunities,less classfied society.Therefore it can be easier for people today to identify which job is more secure.


综合TPO23

The reading passage discusses three hypotheses to explain the steadily decline of the yellow cedar in northwestern North America.While the professor in the lectrue casts doubt on these hypotheses.

First,one of the hypothesis is related to insect infection,the bettle and its larvae which attack the tree.However,the professor says that the trees which are healthy have strong resistence to this insect,their bark and leaves have the ability to secrete a partern of chemical that is poisonous to the beetle.Furthermore,the professor points out that the trees which are surpposed to be caused death by the beetle are already sick before they have been attacked.So,this hypothesis cannot explain the decline of the trees.

In addition,brown bears are thought to be the cause of the decline of the trees,because they eat the bark of the trees and their aggressively eating habits.While,the professor argues that though this hypothesis can explain the decline on the land,it cannot convince readers that it is the reason on the island where is no bears.At the same time,this hypothesis can only be used to explain the regional decline,but not the decline across the North America.

Finally,the reading says that changes of climate can be one reasonable explanation.The cedar trees now begain growing in later winter instead of early spring,and the partial freezing of cold winter day may damage the trees' sensitive roots,then kills the whole tree.On the contrary,the lecturer argues that if the temparture is the reason,the trees in the high elevation would suffer more damage than those in the low evevation.In fact,the trees in the high elevation suffered less decline even the tempretuer is low there.So,the climate hypothesis is not believeable.

In conclusion,the hypotheses in the reading passage are not convinceable enough to make the professor believe them.

yangyangyu

好的，中午休息，我先占个座，再跟你改哈！ 对啦，我的其实昨天已经写啦，见 http://forum.chasedream.com/TOEFL_Writing/thread-727183-1-1.html   5楼~ 昨天那个论点感觉不是很好了 >< ! 欢迎指正！

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

6月15日110514 ML
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It was easier for people in the past to identify which type of career or job would have a secure or successful future.

Obviously,a career with secure and successful future is expected by every job hunter.As the competition becomes more and more intensified,some of them wish they would(could?) live in the ancient time,becasue they think it was easier to choose a secure job in the past.Based on the simple life style,few kinds of jobs,slight competition in the past,their expectation seems sound.While,compared to those in ancient society,job hunters now can get more experiences from successul workers,have scientic(scientific) prediction for the future of a certain career(对了career是可数名词..吧?),and more opportunities to taste different jobs by themselves.Therefore,to identify which type of career would have a secure future becomes easier in modern society.

One benefit of modern sociey brings to identify a secure job( to the identification of a secure job..换个句式?! ) is the information provided by various media.Job seekers now can use Internet,TV,newspapers,magazines to search the successful experiences of excellent workers.By using these media,one of my classmates find (found) a job he satisfied with.At the beginning of his job huntingprocess(是不是可以删掉?),he did not know how to identify a woderful( wonderful) job.Then he strated(started) to use the Internet to find clues to this question ( turned to the Internet for some hints) .He talked to different sucessful workers on-line,interviewed many bosses to ask their attitudes of which was a secure career,and how they thought the futue of their job (consult many bosses on the question, to ask ask their attitudes of which was a secure career,and how they thought the futue of their job 对了,their job, 这是是指bosses们的current jobs吗? jobs?) .Base on the information he collected and his carefull analysis,finally he found a suitable job. (The information he collected and his careful analysis finally helped he find a suitable job) (问题是：suitable job ≠ 未来secure/successful job 吧?)

Moreover,people now can use new inventions to estimate the future development of a career.With the help of computors(computers),scientists can use mathematic models to produce(这里的produce是指? 还是 预测? estimate?) a general trend of a certain career in the next few years.This trend gives job hunters a guide to judge which job will decline and which will fourish in the future.On the contrary,people in the past had no computors(computers) to make (such kind of) prediction.Their judgement mainly based on their successor's(sucessor in English means " on the follows“ 后继者.@@.应该是predecessors吧) experiences,and many of them did the same job as their parents did.

Also,nowadays,people have more opportunities to choose different jobs,and they can change their jobs easily if they find the job is not suitable for them or it has no bright future.  Air-plane(The development of ransportation) gives job hunters convenience to go to distant places for seeking jobs, and offer them a broaden stage. the(The) distance between New York and Beijing only take them several hours by flight. Meanwhile,they can use the Internet and cell phone to search(look for, search之前用过啦!) job information,talk with employers,and they do not need to travel for hours to only make a few minutes face to face interview with them, what they have to do is just staying at home for a remote interviewthey just can do these things sit in the chair in their home when they have spare time.The contract between them can last for one year or more,when the contract lose(loses) its effctiveness, job hunter(hunters) can start a new job or continue the same one if they think the job is really secure.

Of course,job hunters in the past had the advantage that they only needed to focus on only a few kinds of job available at that time.And most of the jobs were inherited by their offsprings or apprentices,some of the skills they used were kept secret to ensure their success（这一点主要是为了说明 因为“独家技艺”所以secure嘛?!) .However,job hunters today have a much broader vision than their ancient counterparts,have more opportunities,less classfied society(啊，我觉得nowadays, society is more classified啊~~~感觉现在分工更细了，工作领域更多，有木有！）.Therefore it can be easier for people today to identify which job is more secure.

小结：
1.ban ban的 结构感觉会比较紧凑, 比我的好啦, 一段、末段还有首尾呼应的, 中间段也基本都是按首段顺序来分析的！
2. 一点小话： 要注意在标点符号后边留个“空格”哈~
3. 这个题目我就觉得点子不太好找呢。哈哈，突然发现，每次我们的观点貌似都是相反的~~ "media"这个点感觉挺好，还有搜集讯息的渠道更多会有利于identify the secure/successful jobs in the future. 但是 more opportunity那段感觉对identify弱了一点啊。

哎呀，真心觉得这个题目不太好说啊 ==

包子不包子

没有写完？你是的是要把结尾也写上么？我看有好多综合作文都是没有结尾的，只是把三个要点写完就好。  我真的不是很清楚结尾是不是很重要。刚刚看到，我没有贴上去完整的写作，是我太粗心了。

-- by 会员 kchszy061ban (2012/6/13 10:19:12)

这样啊 那时我个人习惯了 没有总结段 总感觉作文不完整 嘿
时间允许还是写下最后一段吧 不允许 就灵活变动～