婷婷connie的作文帖~勇者创造机会，愚者等待机会

chasedreamabc

To begin with, the writer is dubious about the Chevalier's claim that he was wealthy when living in Switerland(Swizerland). On the contrary, the professor disagrees with it. To explains this, she says that since the Chevalier spent large quantities of money on parties and gambling, he was substantly(substantially)rich. Besides, at that time, people had to sell objects first and wait for their money back. Thus, during the days the Chevalier waited to convert moeny(money), he did need to borrow money first.



In addition,   the author shows hesitation on the accuracy of the Chevalier's conversation with Voltaire. Conversely, the speaker insists that this conversation is precises.(precise) According to her, the Chevalier wrote down everything he could remember each night after talking with Voltaire and he kept these notes for many years. When he wrote his memoir, he consulted these notes. Therefore, this memoir can be very convincing.



Moreover, the writer questions the memoir's account of the Chevalier's escape from a notorious prison in Venice. However, the lecturer confirms this. (根据OG所说，应该是先总结出听力的内容) She demonstrates the fact that there were some prisoners who had more powerful friends than the Chevalier did, but those men did not make it to be sent free. Thus, the Chevalier cannot get out by a bribe. Additionally, the Venitian goverment(government)documents described that the ceiling of the prison had been repaired after the escape. So, it is obvious that the memoir tells the truth.


To sum up, the writer is skeptical about the accuracy of the Chevalier's memoir, while the lecturer shares her views to explain why the memoir is true.

PS: 先回答你的那个问题，我也不清楚每次从word crtl+v 过来总会重复几下

听力的细节很全面，最后的一个小点注意一下，阅读内容词语变化丰富一些

瓜瓜不瓜

5.8 综合  批改老规矩
The passge believes that hydrogen-based fuel-cel engines have several advantges（advantages） over internal-combustion engines, while the speaker questions this by following reasons.

To begin with, the author asserts that easily available and renewable resources make fuel-cell engines attractive. On the contrary, the lecturer casts doubt on this. According to him, hydrogen is not easily accessible since it is obtained from a pure liquid state of water. （这点细节抓错了，确实是难获得，但是a pure liquid state 指的是氢的储存）Besides, the hydrogen must be kept at a very low temperature, at about 253 degrees below zero. So, the hydrogen is extremelly difficult to produce and store.

In addition, the writer declares that hydrogen-based fuel cells will slove many world's pollution problems. Conversely, the lecturer is skeptical about it. He emphasizes that since the process of purification demands a great deal of energy which generally comes from the burning of coal or oil, it is convinced that the fuel-cell engines actually create severe（用more吧） pollutions.

Furthermore, the professor's view contrasts with the writer's point that fuel-cell engine will soon be economically competitive. To illustrate it, the professor explains that the fuel-cell engine is made of the platinum（太强大了，这个点都被抓住了）, that is, a quite expensive medal. What is more, chemical reactions cannot be placed in the engine made by other cheaper medal. Thus, we safely arrive at the point that the price of fuel-cell engines can never drop down.

To sum up, the writer denotes that hydrogen-based fuel-cell engine is promising, however, the lecturer holds an opposite attitude towards it.

总评：婷婷这篇这些很好，听力点很全，唯有一个小瑕疵。表达很完整，基本无误。保持！加油

瓜瓜不瓜

5.8 独立 这篇好难啊，正在挤……坦白地说，婷婷超时了10min， 独立每篇超时20分钟的我情何以堪

In the contemporary society, a multitude of people areincreasingly aware of thefundamentality of choosing a career. Since some parents care their children too（改成so感觉好点） much, they tend to put their children in the same career as they are. However, those parents have ignored a vital factor, that is, their children's mind. So, I insist that children are supposed to undergo a different occupation.



First of all, children's diverse interests make them choose distinct careersas (from)their parents. (这句话读着有点奇怪，有木有？）As an old saying goes, there are no identical leaves in the world. It is obvious that children may share different hobbies with their parents. For example, a mother is a noted art and she is quite fond of painting. However, her child develops an interest in medicine. That way, the child probably will take on the job as a doctor. It is commonly accepted that teacher （interest？）is the best teacher. Only（by） making （建议改成allowing,因为make出现太多啦）the child follow his own enjoyment, will he get to the peak in his field. Thus, children should choose the career according to their substantial interests.


Moreover, children who choose different careers as their parents are more likely to be creative. If children choose the common job like their parents, they will subconsciously mimicry（mimic才是动词） their parents' behaviors on that certain job, which actually prevents the （the去掉吧，不然creativity前面也要加，但是感觉没有必要）inspiration and creativity in their working, especially in the field of information and technology. According to a recent survey conducted by China Employment Fund(CEF), over 83% of workers agree that they behave more creatively in the different career as their parents. So, it is unwise to make children follow their parents tempos and handle the same issues.（哈哈那个survey用的绝了，very good，这段观点也很好）



Admittedly, I concede that some individuals do take over the same job from their parents to some degrees. Nonetheless, they feel upset and less enriched. Take my brother Tom as an excellent case. He lives in the countryside with his parents who both were born farmers. When Tom faced the option of the entrance examination to the university, he decided to give up that examination and go back to the countryside. What a pity! Then he has been living a single and boring life just spending hours on plantation. Last time, I got a chance to visit him and knew that how unhappy he was. Thus, from the case of Tom, we can realize that one would better choose the different career as his parents. （时态控制得很好）



In brief,（有这个用法么？我查了下木有额） every individual has the right to determine his own road based on his interest. Only in that way can he behaves more creatively and ambitiously on his work and even achieve success.

总评，总体上已经很不错啦，观点鲜明，有论点有论据，这么上战场肯定木有问题啦。
            表达错误也很少，瑕不掩瑜。但是一定要挑点毛病的话，第二段写的不是特别好，观点的逻辑表达不是很明朗

婷婷connie

5.9 独立
5月7日11.7.8 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to choose a friend with whom you can have fun than to choose a friend that will help you when you are in need. Use specific examples to support your answer.
In the contemporary society, a multitude of people are becoming aware of the fundemantality of having true friends. As an old saying goes, a friend in deed is a friend in need. In my opinion, it is favorable to choose a friend that will help me when I am in troubles.

First of all, when I have a dillema on my work, a friend who pulls me out really makes me cry. Take myself as an example.Once I caught a bad cold with a project plan at my hand. I felt so anxious that I was not able to accomplish the market survey. At that moment, my intimate friend Mary knew it and promised to offer me a hand. How kind she was! Within an afternoon, she had already made it to pass me the precise results of marketing research. I suddenly cried as I was struck deeply by her, and we became closer later. In my mind, I just determine the right choose to have made such a selfless guy.

Besides, I believe that a helpful friend encourages me to be more diligent academically. When in the primary school, I was one the top students in my class. But since I came to the middle school, I gradually cannot keep the pace with my teacher for some specific knowlegde like the mathematics, as it was actually difficult for me to digest. Luckily, my deskmate Davy realized this and he spared his free time to give me some extra help on my assignment.Then, my brain was infused by the full passion to conquer this painstaking subject with Davy's patient lessons. Consequently, I even got the first prize in one exmination. I will not forget how delight we were at that time. Thus, I sincerely suggest that we choose a friend who can do us a favor academically.

Furthermore, a real friend is the person who cares you the most when sick and weary. Since I am so reckless a guy that I usually cause some bad outcomes. For example, one time I hurt my twist serevely and I even could not get myself a meal independently. To my surprise, those classmates whom I often had fun with did not come to ask me if I was all right. I figured out that a friend whom I can have fun was just not reliable. Conversely, as I was extremely sick and painful, a little shy girl Jenny whom I nearly ignored previously comforted me and even assisted me with my lunch. I was so moved that I finally find my true girl. Hence, we became best friends though Jenny still tended to be less outgoing.      

In brief, a friend that helps us at the point where we face the adversity on our work, study and life is the true friend. If an individual is unavailable when we ask for help, no matter how many jokes he shares, we need not treat him as our friend. Additionally, we are supposed to be ready to help our friends as well. Only in this way will we maintain our friendship forever.

婷婷connie

5.9 综合
The passage obviously holds that the pollution hypothesis is more likely to cause the decline of the sea otter. However, the lecture challenges these pollution theories and she denotes that the prodation is the most likely cause.

To begin with, the writer asserts that the industrial chemical decreases the otter's viability since oil rigs and other industrical sources are along the coast. Conversely, the lecturer casts doubt on it. She shows a fact that nobody finds the dead sea otter on Alaskan shores. Thus, the fact can be explained only when the sea otter is eaten up by its predator. So, it is the predator that causes the decline of the sea otter.  

Besides, the writer declares that the pollution affects the entire ecosystem as other sea mammals are also decreasing. On the contrary,  the speaker emphasizes: since the whale is no longer available to the orca,  because of human hunter, the orca changes its diet to survive, that is, feeding on other smaller sea mammals such as seals, seal lions and otters. In this way, the number of those sea mammals drops sharply.

Moreover,  the author claims that different levels of chemicals induce the uneven pattern of otter decline. While the professor disapproves it. To illustrate this,  she stresses: some Alaskan shallow and rocky locations are the typical locations where the otter populations do not decline at all because those orcas are just too large to enter such areas. Thus, the orca predation theory explains the uneven pattern of otter decline better.

To sum up, the writer insists that the industrial pollution cuase the sea otter's death, while the professor firmly supports that the predation plays an essential role of it.

婷婷connie

稍微改了一下 5.8 独立
5.8 独立 这篇好难啊，正在挤……坦白地说，婷婷超时了10min， 独立每篇超时20分钟的我情何以堪

In the contemporary society, a multitude of people areincreasingly aware of thefundamentality of choosing a career. Since some parents care their children too so（改成so感觉好点） much, they tend to put their children in the same career as they are. However, those parents have ignored a vital factor, that is, their children's mind. So, I insist that children are supposed to undergo a different occupation.



First of all, children's diverse interests makemotivatethem tochoose distinct careersas from (from)their parentstheir own occupation2 which generally different from their parents'(瓜瓜，这么写呢？其实意思就是每个人都应该根据自己的兴趣选工作）.(这句话读着有点奇怪，有木有？）As an old saying goes, there are no identical leaves in the world. It is obvious that children may share different hobbies with their parents. For example, a mother is a noted art and she is quite fond of painting. However, her child develops an interest in medicine. That way, the child probably will take on the job as a doctor. It is commonly accepted that teacher （interest？）is the best teacher. Only（by） making allowing（建议改成allowing,因为make出现太多啦）the child follow his own enjoyment, will he get to the peak in his field. Thus, children should choose the career according to their substantial interests.


Moreover, children who choose different careers as their parents are more likely to be creative. If children choose the common job like their parents, they will subconsciously mimicrymimic(婷婷记错了)（mimic才是动词） their parents' behaviors on that certain job, which actually prevents the （the去掉吧，不然creativity前面也要加，但是感觉没有必要）inspiration and creativity in their working, especially in the field of information and technology. According to a recent survey conducted by China Employment Fund(CEF), over 83% of workers agree that they behave more creatively in the different career as their parents. So, it is unwise to make children follow their parents tempos and handle the same issues.（哈哈那个survey用的绝了，very good，这段观点也很好）



Admittedly, I concede that some individuals do take over the same job from their parents to some degrees. Nonetheless, they feel upset and less enriched. Take my brother Tom as an excellent case. He lives in the countryside with his parents who both were born farmers. When Tom faced the option of the entrance examination to the university, he decided to give up that examination and go back to the countryside. What a pity! Then he has been living a single and boring life just spending hours on plantation. Last time, I got a chance to visit him and knew that how unhappy he was. Thus, from the case of Tom, we can realize that one would better choose the different career as his parents. （时态控制得很好）



In brief（果然没有，还是换成to sum up吧）,（有这个用法么？我查了下木有额） every individual has the right to determine his own road based on his interest. Only in that way can he behaves more creatively and ambitiously on his work and even achieve success.

总评，总体上已经很不错啦，观点鲜明，有论点有论据，这么上战场肯定木有问题啦。
表达错误也很少，瑕不掩瑜。但是一定要挑点毛病的话，第二段写的不是特别好，观点的逻辑表达不是很明朗

瓜瓜不瓜

5.9 独立
 黄色高亮，红色为错误，蓝色为建议
5月7日11.7.8 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to choose a friend with whom you can have fun than to choose a friend that will help you when you are in need. Use specific examples to support your answer.

In the contemporary society, a multitude of people are becoming aware of the fundemantality of having true friends. As an old saying goes, a friend in deed is a friend in need. In my opinion, it is favorable to choose a friend that will help me when I am in troubles.

First of all, when I have a dillema （dilema)on my work, a friend who pulls me out really makes me cry.(这个表达有点奇怪，说really touch my heart吧）Take myself as an example.Once I caught a bad cold with a project plan at my hand. I felt so anxious that I was not able to accomplish the market survey. At that moment, my intimate friend Mary knew it and promised to offer me a hand. How kind she was! Within an afternoon, she had already made it to pass me the precise results of marketing research. I suddenly cried （+out）as I was struck deeply by her, and we became closer later. In my mind, I just determine the right choose （要表达“做了正确的确定”？感觉不太对，I felt that I had make such a right decision to...,不过我的建议的也不太好）to have made such a selfless guy.（make a guy？表达奇怪）

Besides, I believe that a helpful friend encourages me to be more diligent academically. When in the primary school, I was one （+of）the top students in my class. But since I came to the middle school, I gradually cannot keep the pace with my teacher for some specific knowlegde (建议改成subjects，学科的意思）like the mathematics, as it was actually difficult for me to digest. Luckily, my deskmate Davy realized this and he spared his free time to give me some extra help on my assignment.Then, my brain was infused by the full passion to conquer this painstaking subject with Davy's patient lessons. Consequently, I even got the first prize in one exmination. I will not forget how delight we were at that time. Thus, I sincerely suggest that we choose a friend who can do us a favor academically.

Furthermore, a real friend is the person who cares you the most when sick and weary. Since I am so reckless a guy that I usually cause some bad outcomes. For example, one time I hurt my twist（哪里受了伤？）serevely and I even could not get myself a meal independently. To my surprise, those classmates whom I often had fun with did not come to ask me if I was all right. I figured out that a friend whom I can have fun was just not reliable. Conversely, as I was extremely sick and painful, a little shy girl Jenny whom I nearly ignored previously comforted me and even assisted me with my lunch（吹毛求疵下，meal吧，不然早饭和晚饭咋办。。(*^__^*) . I was so moved that I finally find my true girl（真命天女？不是找另一半啦，就写ture friend吧）. Hence, we became best friends though Jenny still tended to be less outgoing.

In brief, a friend that helps us at the point where we face the adversity on our work, study and life is the true friend. If an individual is unavailable when we ask for help, no matter how many jokes he shares, we need not treat him as our friend. Additionally, we are supposed to be ready to help our friends as well. Only in this way will we maintain our friendship forever.

总评：文章结构和主题论点都是好的。只是表达上这篇婷婷的出错有点多，快快改过来 ^.^

瓜瓜不瓜

5.9 综合 红色内容上的错误，蓝色为表达上的

The passage obviously holds that the pollution hypothesis is more likely to cause the decline of the sea otter. However, the lecture challenges these pollution theories（改成单数吧，文章中的hypothesis也是单数） and she denotes that the prodation （predator亲。。）is the most likely cause.

To begin with, the writer asserts that the industrial chemical decreases the otter's viability since oil rigs and other industrical sources are along the coast. Conversely, the lecturer casts doubt on it. She shows a fact that nobody finds the dead sea otter on Alaskan shores. Thus, the fact can be explained only when （as）the sea otter is eaten up by its predator. So, it is the predator that causes the decline of the sea otter.

Besides, the writer declares that the pollution affects the entire ecosystem as other sea mammals are also decreasing. On the contrary, the speaker emphasizes: since the whale is no longer available to the orca, because of human hunter, the orca changes its diet to survive, that is, feeding on other smaller sea mammals such as seals, seal lions and otters. In this way, the number of those sea mammals drops sharply.

Moreover, the author claims that different levels of chemicals induce the uneven pattern of otter decline. While the professor disapproves it. To illustrate this, she stresses: some Alaskan shallow and rocky locations are the typical locations where the otter populations do not decline at all because those orcas are just too large to enter such areas. Thus, the orca predation theory explains the uneven pattern of otter decline better.

To sum up, the writer insists that the industrial pollution cuase the sea otter's death, while the professor firmly supports that the predation plays an essential role of it.

总：perfect！要点都全了，抓的很准。只有小错误，可以说瑕不掩瑜了。这篇我感觉有点难，没写好。婷婷写的很好！

瓜瓜不瓜

5.7 独立  ^^ 两个马虎，终于把进度拉平了 颜色老样子，here we go！
11.8.5 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better for your friend to ask you for help (suppose you are good at the subject) than to turn to a tutor when he finds it hard to pass an examination.



Since academic scores play an essential role in one's career hunting,people usually tend to care more about their preparations for the examination. When it comes to solving academic troubles,I insist that my friend turns to me for help is better.



To begin with, asking me for help enjoys（瓜瓜说不上这个用的正不正确。。） a more flexible time schedule than turning to a tutor. Since a certain tutor can not concentrate all his attentions to a single student, he generally make（makes）a tight schedule to plan firmed （查了下没这个表达）period of time for every students. As for me, the situation looks better. As we both live in the same dormitory, my friend is able to discuss a problem whenever I am free instead of making an appointment in advance. Thus, my friend can get informed of more informations with my help anytime if I am not engaged.



Moreover, a tutor actually charges students exorbitantly. According to a survey conducted by China Juvenile Education Fund(CJEF), over 85% of respondents confess that the expenditure of a tutor who help them pass an examination often rises to half of their patents' monthly pay, additionally, they will not turn to a tutor for help anymore unless the condition is urgent. Conversely, as I hold the concept of selflessness that people are supposed to be ready to help others, I would like to offer my kind help to my classmates without demanding money. So from the aspect of finance, I support that it is a wise choose for my friend to ask help from me instead of a tutor. （这个观点绝了，还有婷婷把调查的例证总是用的很好）


In addition, it is more relaxing to ask me for help since that my friends easily become stressed out when talking with the tutor. When people take lessons in the classroom, they always find that teachers are so strict with everybody. Take my intimate friend Lily as an example, she is such a shy girl that her face even turns blushed when conversing with others. And one time, she got a tutor to prepare for her final examination, however, she just felt that she could not share her own points with teacher as she became so nervous. Later, she asked me to help her out with the impending examination. Then, we both spent a relaxing time on the academic reviews because we quite knew each other. Finally, she got good grades and she thanked me much. In this way, we safely arrive the point that I spare more liberty to my friends because they are familiar to me.（由于我与朋友之间的熟悉，让我们在学习上的交流更畅通。。瓜瓜也不知要如何表达。。）



Considering all analysis above, since requiring me for assistance enjoys a more flexible time schedule,a wiser economic standard and more liberty, I do recommend that my friend come to me for help.

总评：观点2,3都很新颖，结构也完整，基本没有表达的错误，赞一个。
          吹毛求疵下：感觉观点1,3的例子有点弱，虽然瓜瓜也想不到什么好例子。要是能有名人或是神马的就好了。摊手。。

婷婷connie

5.10 综合
The topic is main discussing the modern literature among young people. The passage puts that the decline of reading for literature due to public readers, while the writer argues about this view.

To begin with, the speaker reputes the point insisted by the writer that the decrease of book reading indicates the sharp drop of literature. To illustrate it, the speakers explains that since the scientific paper, the historic writing and political analysis are also sorts of literature, all these works as well encourage people's imagination. Thus, the literature does not decline with the reduction of books.  

Moreover, the author asserts that people are more likely to watch the television and surf the Internet, and those behaviors lower the level of culture. Conversely, the lecturer casts doubt on it. According to the lecturer, she emphasizes that a brilliant song or a fabulous movie actually show the real charm of literatue. Since various forms of literature emerge in the contemporary society, the changing culture does not mean the lower level of literatue.

Besides, the professor challenges the standpoint held by the writer that the number of talented writers is also likely to decline. The professor stresses: current writers are to blame for they make the modren literarature quite difficult for citizens to understand.  In contrast, the earlier literature is more easier. Thus, the writing's decline is caused by those writers.

To sum up, the writer thinks that public readers are responsible for the decline of literature. However, the professor just expresses the opposite opinions.