婷婷connie的作文帖~勇者创造机会，愚者等待机会

婷婷connie

5.9 独立 改改后~犯了好多拼写+表达错误，改呀改！
黄色高亮，红色为错误，蓝色为建议
5月7日11.7.8 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to choose a friend with whom you can have fun than to choose a friend that will help you when you are in need. Use specific examples to support your answer.

In the contemporary society, a multitude of people are becoming aware of the fundemantality（fundamentality） of having true friends. As an old saying goes, a friend in deed is a friend in need. In my opinion, it is favorable to choose a friend that will help me when I am in troubles.

First of all, when I have a dillema dilemma(这个词好诡异，下次还是不用了)（dilema)on my work, a friend who pulls me out really makes me cry touches my heart (cry显得有点夸张哈).(这个表达有点奇怪，说really touch my heart吧）Take myself as an example.Once I caught a bad cold with a project plan at my hand. I felt so anxious that I was not able to accomplish the market survey. At that moment, my intimate friend Mary knew it and promised to offer me a hand. How kind she was! Within an afternoon, she had already made it to pass me the precise results of marketing research. I suddenly cried （+out）（cry out是大声呼喊的意思，好像不太对）as I was struck deeply by her, and we became closer later. In my mind, I just determine the right choose （要表达“做了正确的确定”？感觉不太对，I felt that I had make such a right decision to...,不过我的建议的也不太好）to have made such a selfless guy friend（之前想着guy对朋友的爱称，哈哈，作文还是正式点好）.（make a guy？表达奇怪）

Besides, I believe that a helpful friend encourages me to be more diligent academically. When in the primary school, I was one of（+of）the top students in my class. But since I came to the middle school, I gradually cannot keep the pace with my teacher for some specificknowlegde(knowledge) subjects (建议改成subjects，学科的意思）like the mathematics, as it was actually difficult for me to digest. Luckily, mydeskmateclassmateDavy realized this and he spared his free time to give me some extra help on my assignment.Then, my brain was infused by the full passion to conquer this painstaking subject with Davy's patient lessons. Consequently, I even got the first prize in one exmination(examination). I will not forget how delight we were at that time. Thus, I sincerely suggest that we choose a friend who can do us a favor academically.

Furthermore, a real friend is the person who cares you the most when sick and weary. Since I am so reckless a guy that I usually cause some bad outcomes. For example, one time I hurt my twist(wrist手腕，记错单词了)（哪里受了伤？）serevely(severely)and I even could not get myself a meal independently. To my surprise, those classmates whom I often had fun with did not come to ask me if I was all right. I figured out that a friend whom I can have fun was just not reliable. Conversely, as I was extremely sick and painful, a little shy girl Jenny whom I nearly ignored previously comforted me and even assisted me with mylunch meal (婷婷想的是breakfast and dinner是在家里解决呢，呵呵)（吹毛求疵下，meal吧，不然早饭和晚饭咋办。。(*^__^*) . I was so moved that I finally find my truegirlfriend（真命天女？不是找另一半啦，就写true friend吧）. Hence, we became best friends though Jenny still tended to be less outgoing.

In brief, a friend that helps us at the point where we face the adversity on our work, study and life is the true friend. If an individual is unavailable when we ask for help, no matter how many jokes he shares, we need not treat him as our friend. Additionally, we are supposed to be ready to help our friends as well. Only in this way will we maintain our friendship forever.

总评：文章结构和主题论点都是好的。只是表达上这篇婷婷的出错有点多，快快改过来 ^.^

婷婷connie

改改后~

11.8.5 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better for your friend to ask you for help (suppose you are good at the subject) than to turn to a tutor when he finds it hard to pass an examination.


Since academic scores play an essential role in one's career hunting,people usually tend to care more about their preparations for the examination. When it comes to solving academic troubles,I insist that my friend turns to me for help is better.

To begin with, asking me for help enjoys（瓜瓜说不上这个用的正不正确。。） a more flexible time schedule than turning to a tutor. Since a certain tutor can not concentrate all his attentions to a single student, he generally make makes（makes）a tight schedule to plan firmed(想表达固定的意思，像fixed) （查了下没这个表达）period of time for every students. As for me, the situation looks better. As we both live in the same dormitory, my friend is able to discuss a problem whenever I am free instead of making an appointment in advance. Thus, my friend can get informed of more informations with my help anytime if I am not engaged.

Moreover, a tutor actually charges students exorbitantly. According to a survey conducted by China Juvenile Education Fund(CJEF), over 85% of respondents confess that the expenditure of a tutor who help them pass an examination often rises to half of their patents' monthly pay, additionally, they will not turn to a tutor for help anymore unless the condition is urgent. Conversely, as I hold the concept of selflessness that people are supposed to be ready to help others, I would like to offer my kind help to my classmates without demanding money. So from the aspect of finance, I support that it is a wise choose for my friend to ask help from me instead of a tutor. （这个观点绝了，还有婷婷把调查的例证总是用的很好）


In addition, it is more relaxing to ask me for help since that my friends easily become stressed out when talking with the tutor. When people take lessons in the classroom, they always find that teachers are so strict with everybody. Take my intimate friend Lily as an example, she is such a shy girl that her face even turns blushed when conversing with others. And one time, she got a tutor to prepare for her final examination, however, she just felt that she could not share her own points with teacher as she became so nervous. Later, she asked me to help her out with the impending examination. Then, we both spent a relaxing time on the academic reviews because we quite knew each other. Finally, she got good grades and she thanked me much. In this way, we safely arrive the point that I spare more liberty to my friends because they are familiar to me.we can communicate more freely as we are familiar to each others.(这么表达呢？)（由于我与朋友之间的熟悉，让我们在学习上的交流更畅通。。瓜瓜也不知要如何表达。。）



Considering all analysis above, since requiring me for assistance enjoys a more flexible time schedule,a wiser economic standard and more liberty, I do recommend that my friend come to me for help.

总评：观点2,3都很新颖，结构也完整，基本没有表达的错误，赞一个。
吹毛求疵下：感觉观点1,3的例子有点弱，虽然瓜瓜也想不到什么好例子。要是能有名人或是神马的就好了。摊手。。

婷婷connie

迟来的5.11 综合
The topic is mainly discussing whether the teenger girl in the full-length portraint is Jane Austen. The writer firmly believes that she is the subject, while the lecturer thinks that it is unconvincing.

To begin with, the writer holds that the painting is the portrait of Austen because of the claim of her family. However, the lectuer casts doubt on is. He emphasizes that the year 1882 is over 70 years later than the year when Austen died. So, Austen's family memeber may not acurately have seen Austen themselves. In this way, they cannot promise the truth.

Moreover, the lecturer disputes the view given by the author that the face in the portrait clearly resembles the one in Cassandra's sketch which depicts Austen. To illustrate this, he explains: Austen's family was so large that she has many relatives which were at the same age as her and resembled her much. Specifically, one of Austen's distance nieces looked after Austen herself greatly. Therefore, that portrait probably belongs to her.

Besides, the writer denotes that portrait was painted when Austen was a teenger since its style links Hunmphrey, who was active in the similar time. Conversely, the speaker is questionable about it. According to him, the stuff on which the portrait was painted did not been sold until Austen was 27 years old. In this way, Austen was older than the girl in the portrait. Therefore, the girl in that portrait cannot be Jane Austen.

婷婷connie

5.17 独立
5月17日11.5.14 ML It was easier for people in the past to identify which type of career or job would have a secure or successful future.



In the contemporary society, a multitude of individuals are becoming aware of the fundamentality of choosing an ideal career with high salary, promotion and safety. Most hold that people in the past are easier to identify which career is better. However, they ignore a deep consideration of the current situation. In my opinion, I do think people nowadays have more accesses to judge jobs.



To begin with, the overall improvement of education makes residents more wisely determine which job has a secure and successful future. Since people's attitude towards education has advanced a lot, they now increasingly long for obtain lores in schools. Thus, people come to analyse a job from various aspects. For example, my gregarious sister Mary faced a choice 2 years ago, which is, whether she should accept an offer from the competitive company or stay in her original one. Then, she took the promotion and safety into account. As she was always educated to hug the challenge and strive for success, she decided to resign and go to the new company. Luckily, Mary successfully dealt with different affairs and made friends with her fellows. So, she really made the right choice. And we can find out that people at present are easier to identify a certain career.



What is more, advancement of technology and science makes it possible for people to grasp information efficiently, thus easier to identify the excellent type of job which has a bright future. Take the Internet as a case, with the use of the Internet, whenever people need to take a deep look of a job, all he or she needs to do is open a searching engine box and key in some words about this job, then they would get a great deal of information including the promotion chance, salary level and working environment and so on. In this way, people who are irresolute on whether taking the job will realize the essence of the job and make the most rational decision. So, we safely arrive the point that people nowadays are able to identify a career with ease.



Admittedly, I concede that a career or job cannot be identified easily in some cases. For instance, since the economic crisis hits the whole world, people ranging from businessman to worker suffer a lot, especially individuals who are engaged in the stock market.Among those people, they may not receive their last-month salary and rick losing their jobs every day. They cannot clearly identify which job has a successful future. However, these similar things will not happen frequently. Additionally, with the governmental regulations such as revising some relevant laws, the economy will march on insistently and different industries will keep on thriving.



To sum up, I believe that people in the current world are more cultivated to make a judgment on their own careers and have more approaches to acquire some specific information about that career. Thus, people nowadays are easier to identify the career than people in the past.

婷婷connie

5.17 综合
The reading and listening debate the protection of Torreya, a type of evergreen tree. The writer puts forward three ways to address the decline of Torreya, which are contradicted by the speaker.

To begin with, the speaker disputes the solution given by the writer, that is, reestablishing Torreya in the same location where it thrived before. To illustrate it, the speaker mentions a fact that its original habitat in the northern Florida has changed a lot due to the global warming: the temperature is higher. Besides, it is much drier than before as the water in a river nearby gradually drenches up. Thus, the original location is not suitable to plant this tree any more.

Moreover, the lecturer challenges the idea in the passage that moving Torreya to an entirely different location is a good method. The lecturer tells a case of the migration of another tree, the black locus. Since the tree is migrated to a new environment, it will spread too quickly and may kill other local trees which have already become extinct. Therefore, the migration certainly does harm to the new environment system.

Furthermore, the author stresses that people can preseve Torreya by putting it in research centers. Conversely, the professor undermines this. She emphasizes: the tree is only able to resist disease when living in a relative large area and enjoying genetic diversification. However, the research center does not have enough capacity to save numerous trees and help them survive disease in the long term. So, preserving Torreya in research centers is not a proper solution.

To sum up, the author demonstrates three approaches to protect Torreya, but the lecturer is for none of these ways.

包子不包子

The reading and listening debate the protection of Torreya, a type of evergreen tree. The writer puts forward three ways to address the decline of Torreya, which are contradicted by the speaker.

To begin with, the speaker disputes the solution given by the writer, that is, reestablishing Torreya in the same location where it thrived before. To illustrate it, the speaker mentions a fact that its original habitat in the northern Florida has changed a lot due to the global warming: the temperature is higher. Besides, it is much drier than before as the water 有wetland 吧 in a river nearby gradually drenchesup drain. Thus, the original location is not suitable to plant this tree any more.
记得说的是 microclimate 受 larger climate的影响很大吧 这句话应该点出来 再说 global warming

drench(drnch)tr.v.drenched, drench·ing, drench·es1. To wet through and through; soak.
2. To administer a large oral dose of liquid medicine to (an animal).
3. To provide with something in great abundance; surfeit: just drenched in money.

Moreover, the lecturer challenges the idea in the passage that moving Torreya to an entirely different location is a good method. The lecturer tells a case of the migration of another tree, the black locus. Since the tree is migrated to a new environment, it will spread too quickly and may kill other local trees which have already become extinct. Therefore, the migration certainly does harm it is unperdictable to the new environment system.

Furthermore, the author stresses that people can preseve Torreya by putting it in research centers. Conversely, the professor undermines this. She emphasizes: the tree is only able to resist disease when living in a relative large area large population and enjoying genetic diversification. However, the research center does not have enough capacity to save numerous trees and help them survive disease in the long term. So, preserving Torreya in research centers is not a proper solution.

To sum up, the author demonstrates three approaches to protect Torreya, but the lecturer is for none of these ways.

结构 语言没什么问题啦
婷婷注意听力细节哟～

sang824

In the contemporary society, a multitude of individuals are becoming aware of the fundamentality of choosing an ideal career with high salary, promotion and safety. Most hold that people in the past are easier to identify which career is better. However, they ignore a deep consideration of the current situation. In my opinion, I do think people nowadays have more accesses to judge jobs.

To begin with, the overall improvement of education makes residents more wisely to determine which job has a secure and successful future more wisely. Since people's attitude towards education has advanced a lot, they now increasingly long for obtain lores in schools. Thus, people come to analyse a job from various aspects.(感觉这里直接连接逻辑上有点空缺，可以加一个教育让人们更睿智，更懂得思考，因此在衡量工作的时候比过去更容易) For example, my gregarious sister Mary faced a choice 2 years ago, which is, whether she should accept an offer from the competitive company or stay in her original one. Then, she took the promotion and safety into account. As she was always educated to hug the challenge and strive for success, she decided to resign and go to the new company. Luckily, Mary successfully dealt with different affairs and made friends with her fellows. So, she really made the right choice. And we can find out that people at present are easier to identify a certain career.

What is more, advancement of technology and science makes it possible for people to grasp information efficiently, thus easier to identify the excellent type of job which has a bright future. Take the Internet as a case, with the use of the Internet, whenever people need to take a deep look(不确定有没有这种说法) of a job, all he or she needsthey need to do is open a searching engine box and key in some words about this job, then they would get a great deal of information including the promotion chance, salary level and working environment and so on. In this way, people who are irresolute on whether taking to take the job will realize the essence of the job and make the most rational decision. So, we safely arrive the point that people nowadays are able to identify a career with ease.

Admittedly, I concede that a career or job cannot be identified easily in some cases. For instance, since the economic crisis hits the whole world, people ranging from businessman to worker suffer a lot, especially individuals who are engaged in the stock market.Among those people, they may not receive their last-month salary and rick losing their jobs every day. They cannot clearly identify which job has a successful future. (这个例子很赞！) However, these similar things will not happen frequently. Additionally, with the governmental regulations such as revising some relevant laws, the economy will march on insistently and different industries will keep on thriving.

To sum up, I believe that people in the current world are more cultivated to make a judgment on their own careers and have more approaches to acquire some specific information about that career. Thus, people nowadays are easier to identify the career than people in the past.

婷婷写的好棒，例证都很有说服力，让步也很好，
用词造句都很厉害，学到了很多表达嘿嘿
几乎是吹毛求疵挑了几个地方~~

瓜瓜不瓜

迟来的5.11 综合 婷婷 原谅瓜瓜这么晚的批改最近愁大发了、、、

The topic is mainly discussing whether the teenger girl in the full-length portraint is Jane Austen. The writer firmly believes that she is the subject, while the lecturer thinks that it is unconvincing.

To begin with, the writer holds that the painting is the portrait of Austen because of the claim of her family. However, the lectuer casts doubt on is.（it吧） He emphasizes that the year 1882 is over 70 years later than the year when Austen died. So, Austen's family memeber may not acurately have seen Austen themselves. In this way, they cannot promise the truth（婷婷有这个表达么？promise 和truth？）.

Moreover, the lecturer disputes the view given by the author that the face in the portrait clearly resembles the one in Cassandra's sketch which depicts Austen. To illustrate this, he explains: Austen's family was so large that she has many relatives which （亲戚是人，用who）were at the same age as her and resembled her much. Specifically, one of Austen's distance nieces looked after （look after的意思是照顾某人，look like比较符合你的意思）Austen herself （主语是niece，不是austen本人，herself不合适）greatly. Therefore, that portrait probably belongs to her.

Besides, the writer denotes that portrait was painted when Austen was a teenger since its style links Hunmphrey, who was active in the similar（similar的意思是像，木有与time搭配的情况额） time. Conversely, the speaker is questionable about it. According to him, the stuff on which the portrait was painted did not been sold until Austen was 27 years old. In this way, Austen was older than the girl in the portrait. Therefore, the girl in that portrait cannot be Jane Austen.

总评：这篇是婷婷考完后写的？  感觉木有考前写的好了额。。
         开头多看几个模板吧，感觉可以更好。
         中间段支持点比较清楚，虽然时隔多日，但还是有感觉有一些些细节处与professor的表达有出入
        最后加一个结尾段吧

明天就要出分了，祝我们都好运！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

婷婷connie

5.11综合改改后

迟来的5.11 综合 婷婷 原谅瓜瓜这么晚的批改最近愁大发了、、、

The topic is mainly discussing whether the teenger（teenage) girl in the full-length portraint(portrait) is Jane Austen. The writer firmly believes that she is the subject, while the lecturer thinks that it is unconvincing.

To begin with, the writer holds that the painting is the portrait of Austen because of the claim of her family. However, the lectuer(lecturer)casts doubt onisit .（it吧） He emphasizes that the year 1882 is over 70 years later than the year when Austen died. So, Austen's family memeber(member)may not acurately(accurately) have seen Austen themselves. In this way, they cannot promise the truth（婷婷有这个表达么？promise 和truth？）.

Moreover, the lecturer disputes the view given by the author that the face in the portrait clearly resembles the one in Cassandra's sketch which depicts Austen. To illustrate this, he explains: Austen's family was so large that she has many relatives whichwho（亲戚是人，用who）were at the same age as her and resembled her much. Specifically, one of Austen's distance nieces looked after (应该是take after，记错了)（look after的意思是照顾某人，look like比较符合你的意思）Austen herself （主语是niece，不是austen本人，herself不合适）greatly. Therefore, that portrait probably belongs to her.

Besides, the writer denotes that portrait was painted when Austen was a teenger(teenager) since its style links Hunmphrey（Humphry）, who was active in the similar（similar的意思是像，木有与time搭配的情况额） time. Conversely, the speaker is questionable about it. According to him, the stuff on which the portrait was painted did not been sold until Austen was 27 years old. In this way, Austen was older than the girl in the portrait. Therefore, the girl in that portrait cannot be Jane Austen.


To sum up, the writer holds that the portrait is Austen, however, the professor doubts that the painting does not belong to Austen at all.
总评：这篇是婷婷考完后写的？ 感觉木有考前写的好了额。。
开头多看几个模板吧，感觉可以更好。
中间段支持点比较清楚，虽然时隔多日，但还是有感觉有一些些细节处与professor的表达有出入
最后加一个结尾段吧

明天就要出分了，祝我们都好运！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！



Ps：谢谢瓜瓜批文， 婷婷也感觉最近状态不行……超多拼写错误和错误表达。

   不管怎么样，把作文进行到底吧!!!!!!!!!

婷婷connie

5.23 综合
The reading and listenting have a conflict of opinion on the remains of the actual tissues of the T. rex leg bone. The writer believes that those remains seem to be blood vessels, red blood cells and collagen matrix, while the speaker contradicts this point.

To begin with, the lecturer reputes the view held by the author that small branching channels are blood vessels. According to him, since the animal died for so many years, some bacteria will colonize these hollows, these branching channels may be some traces left by bacteria instead of blood vessels.

Moreover, the lecturer challenges the idea that the presence of spheres could be red blood cells. To illustrate this, he puts forward with a fact that some primitive animals nearby which had no blood cells when they were alive also contain some reddish materials. Thus, these reddish stuffs cannot be blood cells, and they actually are some reddish minerals.

Last but not least, the author holds that the dinosaur leg bone contains collagen, while the professor diapproves this. He shows a truth that the collagen is not able to exist more than 100,000 years. Therefore, it is implausible that 17-million-year T. rex keeps collagen inside. Additionally, he indicates that the collagen possibly comes from a recent source: human's skin, for example like a researcher who is handling the bone.

To sum up, the writer emphasizes the existence of blood vessels, red blood cells and collagen. Conversely, the speaker undermines the argument above.