Top MBA Essay Analysis from Jon Frank---P11: THE MOST IMPORTANT THING MBA APPLIC

JonFrank

Hi Jon

I plan to write both optional essays (from Pepperdine), one to talk about international background  (1) and one to mention anything (2).

for 1 i understand i need to highlight my uniqueness and why i am the way i am, i.e. worldview, principals. I am a young applicant (24 years old, undergrad at canada, super low GPA though, with 2 years retail banking working experience) and i do not see my uniqueness beside 'young with enormous potential'...could you enlighten me on this?

for 2, i really struggled. re-wrote the essay and still found it was extremely difficult to put into words on addressing my super low GPA. my GMAT was ok. no quant courses done after undergrad. i did a lot of extracurricular activities during undergrad though. what approach should i take to write 2?

thx so much

SW

-- by 会员 fujyoshi (2011/12/2 13:08:23)

Hey there—without seeing the essays of course it is hard to offer up much guidance.  But I will do my best.  First of all, Canada is unique.  Why Canada?  THAT could be interesting enough to talk about.  Why not the US, England, etc.?  Also, retail banking IS interesting.  Why not commercial banking?  Why not investment banking?  Retail banking is unusual; all these things COULD be worth getting into.  After all, very few Chinese applicants will have experience in EITHER of these areas (Canada or retail.)  As for essay 2, this one we would need to see for sure.  As you are learning, the optional essay (especially where you need to address GPA) is an art form.  You will need to keep it nice and short (250 words max) and not make excuses.  Instead, confidently lay out what happened.  Nothing is more frustrating to an adcom than a whiny, sad optional essay.  They are VERY hard indeed!  Let us know what more we can do to help…

Jon Frank
Founder PrecisionEssay

JonFrank

Hi Jon，
I resigned my last job in June this year in order to prepare well for the MBA apply,for I hadn't  get access to English since five years ago and I needed more time to pick it up. Now I get qualified record of GMAT but I am sure the explanation of my gap year should be included in the additional  essay.
The question is, how can I clarify this situation better? I am expecting for your  advises.
thanks a lot!

-- by 会员 小甜菜的宝宝 (2011/12/2 21:24:04)

Hello there.  Yes you are correct; you will want to come up with a DIFFERENT reason for why you took the time off. “To prepare for your apps”wont be good enough; after all, most applicants were able to continue to work at their jobs, AND apply to MBA programs. SO what ELSE did you do?  You need to come up with something other than“prepare for the application”for sure.  what it is that you come up with…that is up to you. J  Good luck!

Jon Frank
Founder PrecisionEssay

pampan

Hi Jon, I am wondering that should I write about my passion on some of my hobbies in the optional essay? Because I think it might make the adcom think that I am interesting and diverse. Or should I just skip it because I don't really have any BAD things in my resume to explain?

Thanks.

JonFrank

Hi Jon, I am wondering that should I write about my passion on some of my hobbies in the optional essay? Because I think it might make the adcom think that I am interesting and diverse. Or should I just skip it because I don't really have any BAD things in my resume to explain?

Thanks.

-- by 会员 pampan (2011/12/7 23:39:45)

Hey there—sadly, you should NOT use the optional essay as you have described.  If you haven’t talked about your hobbies or extra-curriculars in your application…you are doing it wrong.  L  But it should NOT be in the optional essay; it should be elsewhere in the application.  Even if you have it in the resume, that is better than nothing.  But do NOT use the optional essay that way—schools HATE that!  Hope this helps…


Jon Frank
PrecisionEssay

萝卜7号

Hi Jon:I 'm applying for the Msf program of  UMD and there is an optional essay. My GMAT is 700 , because I did too much intership I spend little time on preparing for the exam.Do i need to explain why i got such a low score .The requirement of this program is above 650, but my score is lower than other Chinese student.So I'm a little confused.Can you give me some advise? Thank you!

JASO

This helped me a lot. THANK YOU VERY MUCH JON!!!!! For master application, The adcom doesnt really care much about the grade from first two years of college. So I guess for MBA application, grade from the first two years doesn't matter that much either.

JonFrank

Hi Jon:I 'm applying for the Msf program of  UMD and there is an optional essay. My GMAT is 700 , because I did too much intership I spend little time on preparing for the exam.Do i need to explain why i got such a low score .The requirement of this program is above 650, but my score is lower than other Chinese student.So I'm a little confused.Can you give me some advise? Thank you!

-- by 会员 萝卜7号 (2012/1/9 12:57:22)

Hey there,Happy new year —And no, with a 700 your score is just fine.  No need to write an essay about it—just make sure that the REST of your app is going to be in GREAT shape, and that 700 will be good enough.  Not great, but good enough.  Lets not bring any more attention to that score…


Jon Frank
Founder PrecisionEssay

萝卜7号

Hi Jon:I 'm applying for the Msf program of  UMD and there is an optional essay. My GMAT is 700 , because I did too much intership I spend little time on preparing for the exam.Do i need to explain why i got such a low score .The requirement of this program is above 650, but my score is lower than other Chinese student.So I'm a little confused.Can you give me some advise? Thank you!

-- by 会员 萝卜7号 (2012/1/9 12:57:22)

Hey there,Happy new year —And no, with a 700 your score is just fine.  No need to write an essay about it—just make sure that the REST of your app is going to be in GREAT shape, and that 700 will be good enough.  Not great, but good enough.  Lets not bring any more attention to that score…


Jon Frank
Founder PrecisionEssay

-- by 会员 JonFrank (2012/1/23 19:08:43)

Thank you so much!!! Happy new year!  I'll prepare my essay and resume carefully~

易北北北北北

Hi Jon! I really hope you could give me some advice on my situation. I'm applying Washington University, Master in Business. Recently I retook GMAT and got a score of 720, whereas the score of IR section is just 2 ,12%... I really didn't have enough time to prepare IR so I just skipped the practice before the test, and then I got panic during the IR test and performed badly. (what a disaster...)  So should I write an optional essay to explain the low IR score? Or just ignore it?

Thanks a lot! Hoping to get your advice soon!

luftwaffe

Jon, do I need to address in optional essay that I took five months off between two employments?