ChaseDream
搜索
返回列表 发新帖
查看: 10908|回复: 78
打印 上一主题 下一主题

小兔爱twins的作文贴 7.23开始~ 求吐槽求拍砖

[复制链接]
跳转到指定楼层
楼主
发表于 2012-7-23 22:24:42 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
今天占位了独立和综合~~~ 现在正在写~~ 写完就贴~~~
收藏收藏 收藏收藏
沙发
发表于 2012-7-23 22:32:56 | 只看该作者
兔子,加油,欢迎加入小分队!!
^_^
板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2012-7-23 23:10:13 | 只看该作者

~~多谢鼓励~~

~~多谢鼓励~~
地板
 楼主| 发表于 2012-7-23 23:10:47 | 只看该作者
7.23 tpo 14  综合

In the lecture, the professore is skeptical about the idea about the idea of the reading passage that the practice of salvage logging is beneficial for both forest and economy.

Fisrt of all, the professor states the cleaning-up of forest dosen’t necessarily create the right conditions for tree growth which is contrary to the idea presented in the passage that salvage logging makes space for fresh growth immdiately. Morever, the professor says actually the decomposing of dead tree enrich the soil which makes it suitable for their future generation to grow up, and rapid removal of dead tree result the lack of nutrition of young trees.

Second, to deny the statement of reading passage that dead tree will increse the insect population, the professor talks about the beetles that have lived in the forest for about 100 years without causing big damage. In addtion, there are some good insects, such as birds make contribution to the health of forest for long term. In fact, salvage logging do more harm to the forest than insects.

Finally, the professor is skeptical about the idea in the passage that the salvasge logging has ecnomic benefits. Because only helicopters and other expansive vehicles will be uesd in the salvage logging after the sever lumber damage, which are expansive to maintain. In addition, the jobs for salvage logging are just temporary, and jobs are more likely to be supply to the trained outsiders than the local residents.
5#
发表于 2012-7-24 00:18:02 | 只看该作者
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误
In the lecture, the professore is skeptical about the idea about the idea(这个重复额) of the reading passage that the practice of salvage logging is beneficial for both forest and economy.

Fisrt of all, the professor states the cleaning-up of forest dosen’t necessarily create the right conditions for tree growth which is contrary to the idea presented in the passage that salvage logging makes space for fresh growth immdiately. Morever, the professor says actually the decomposing of dead tree enrich
s the soil which makes it suitable for their future generation to grow up, and rapid removal of dead tree result the lack of nutrition offor young trees.

Second, to deny the statement of reading passage that dead tree will increse the insect population, the professor talks about the beetles that have lived in the forest for about 100 years without causing big damage. In addtion, there are some good insects, such as birds
birds不是insects,额) make contribution to the health of forest for long term. In fact, salvage logging do more harm to the forest than insects.

Finally, the professor is skeptical about the idea in the passage that the salvasge logging has ecnomic benefits. Because only helicopters and other expansive vehicles will be uesd in the salvage logging after the sever
e lumber damage, which are expansive to maintain. In addition, the jobs for salvage logging are just temporary, and jobs are more likely to be supplyied to the trained outsiders than the local residents.
整体都很好了,就是长句子要分下啦。
6#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-7-24 06:16:08 | 只看该作者

小兔大作文

7月23日 独立 2010.3.12NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? To make children do well at school, parents should limit the hours that a child spends on watching TV. Use specific reasons to support your answer.

The influence of watching TV on children’s success in study has never failed to attract parents’ attention and provoke controversy. However, everything consist of goodness and badness, people cannot evaluate something merely by its benefits or harmfulness. This is why I disagree with the practice that parents limit the hours that children enjoy TV programs.

First of all, having wide range of knowledge plays an essential role in students’ acadamic success. Watching TV exactly offers children a convinient and efficient way to gain the knowledge they interest in and broaden their mind. For instance, discovery channel provides service of introdution to science and techinology in a comprehensive manner, and the youth who are curious about science and techinology are very likely to be attracted by this program. With the audio and visual aid on learing process, it is more easier for youth to pick up knowledge than in the classes. Therefore, watching is a magical method of education at some extent.

Moreover, children are likely to have a uneffective performance in study if they are under big pressure. For those overwhelmed students, watching TV provide them with a terrific opportunity to release themsevles. For example, my brother often spend time on animated cartoons after finishing his homework, and he perceives that make a good use of time after studying do refresh him and let him feel satisfied both with study and after-class activities.

Admittedly, a part of parents tend to believe that watching TV is detrtmental to kid’s acadamic studying, by stating that children who spend time on watching tv will not concentrate on the study. However, those parents oversimplifed the real situation as some other factor which cause children unfocused, such as lack of interest in the subject, or feel confused about their homework. Therefore, watching TV will not cause serious problem to children’s school learning.

Besed on the above reasons, I firmly belive that parent should reserve the time that children spend on watching TV.
7#
发表于 2012-7-24 17:32:32 | 只看该作者
上线的有点晚不好意思
723日 独立 2010.3.12NA

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? To make children do well at school, parents should limit the hours that a child spends on watching TV. Use specific reasons to support your answer.

The influence of watching TV on children’s success in study(主语The influence of watching TV on childrens success in study显得很累赘,不符合英语写作习惯,我建议改为,The influence of watching TV on children,当然这个不算很好的改法,我想说的是,有些东西可以不用添上去的)has never failed to attract parents’ attention and provoke controversy. However, everything consists of goodness and badness, people cannot evaluate something merely by its benefits or harmfulness. This is why I disagree with the practice that parents limit the hours that children enjoy TV programs.

First of all, having(having 去掉 加上一个a) wide range of knowledge plays an essential role in students’ acadamic success. Watchingets不喜欢老是用doing开头的TV exactly offers children a convenient and efficient way to gain(acquire) the knowledge they interest in and broaden their mindopen their eyes?. For instance, discoverychannel provides service of introduction to science and technology(这个单词的拼写楼主反复错哦 我都更正了) in a comprehensive manner, and the youth who are curious about science and technology are very likely to be attracted by this program. With the audio and visual aid on learing process, it is more easier for youth to pick up knowledge than in the classes. Therefore, watching is a magical method of education at some extent.

Moreover, children are likely to have a uneffective performance in study if they are under big pressure. For those overwhelmed students, watching TV provide them with a terrific opportunity to release themsevles. For example, my brother often spend time on animated cartoons after finishing his homework, and he perceives that make a good use of time after studying do refresh him and let him feel satisfied both with study and after-class activities.

Admittedly, a part of parents tend to believe that watching TV is detrtmental to kid’s acadamic studying, by stating that children who spend time on watching tv will not concentrate on the study. However, those parents oversimplifed the real situation as some other factor which cause children unfocused, such as lack of interest in the subject, or feel confused about their homework. Therefore, watching TV will not cause serious problem to children’s school learning.

Besed on the above reasons, I firmly belive that parent should reserve the time that children spend on watching TV.
看得出来楼主作为新手还在规定时间内完成 是不错的文章了
但楼主的拼写有待加强,文章的论证不够充分,句式有一些单一,其实与各位大神说的背35-200个好句的说法,我补注一下,先根据自己写作的喜好和习惯记下5个好的句式(倒装,强调,或其他特牛掰的地道的),反复用,一来,相信楼主会在短时间内,有所提高!


另外,很多都说我有生硬这个毛病,我仔细又改了下文章,希望楼主抽百忙之中再帮我看下,可有改善,如果不好的,千万别客气,直接说!要不怎么能进步呢~~~谢啦
8#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-7-26 04:30:59 | 只看该作者
7.25综合~~

The professor is skpetical about the reading’s idea by stating improvement in three areas of the archeology field after the new guideline implemented.

First, the professor says before the construction of a new building, the archaeologist can examine whether the sites are of archeological value or interest. If the sites owns archaeological interest, the local government, archeologists and buildersdecide will get together to dicuss how to preseve the valuable artifacts. However, the reading passage’s idea is that the constrution will destroy the artifacts.

Second, the professor points out that any archaeology work, such as initial examination, futher working, are paid by the constrution company not by the governmet.The money archeaologygists gets allows them to study in futher knowledge on archeaoogical sites than they could in the past. However, in the reading passage says the archaeologists lack financial support.  

Last, the professor cites there are increasing paid work in the archaeology field, which increasing the number of professional archeaologist in UK. On the contrary, the reading passges describes the difficulties of the career in archaeology.
9#
发表于 2012-7-26 10:02:24 | 只看该作者
The professor is skpetical(Skeptical)拼写)( about the reading’s idea by stating improvement in three areas of the archeology field after the new guideline implemented.

First, the professor says before the construction of a new building, the archaeologist can examine whether the sites are of archeological value or interest. If the sites owns archaeological interest, the local government, archeologists and buildersdecide (感觉是两个谓语)will get together to dicuss how to preseve the valuable artifacts. However, the reading passage’s idea is that asserts the constrution will destroy the artifacts.

Second, the professor points out that any archaeology work, such as initial examination, further working, are paid by the constrution company istead of not by the governmet.The money archeaologygists gets allows them to study in further knowledge on archeaoogical sites than they could in the past. However, in the reading passage says the archaeologists lack of financial support.  

Last, the professor cites there are increasing paid work in the archaeology field, which increasing the number of professional archeaologist in UK. On the contrary, the reading passges describes the difficulties of the career in archaeology.
缺少结尾段。字数有些少。另外,注意拼写错误。我也不太会改,请见谅。谢谢。
10#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-7-26 22:21:49 | 只看该作者
谢谢哈哈 ~ 我一般不再写结尾的很多范文没有写所以我就照葫芦画瓢啦.~~~  因为我打字慢所以每次都是200左右 这个我再练练看~~ 因为懒得去整理句型 所以听力里面的原句我经常是听了直接搬着用
想跟sherry 说一下 就是 lack 作为动词不能加of  为名词时候才加的~~ 做动词时候lack of是不存在的  sherry这要注意一下语法哈~~
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 立即注册

Mark一下! 看一下! 顶楼主! 感谢分享! 快速回复:

所属分类: TOEFL / IELTS



近期活动

正在浏览此版块的会员 ()

手机版|ChaseDream|GMT+8, 2024-11-29 03:45
京公网安备11010202008513号 京ICP证101109号 京ICP备12012021号

ChaseDream 论坛

© 2003-2023 ChaseDream.com. All Rights Reserved.

返回顶部