【写作小分队】tyyhappy 欢迎狂批^_^

tyyhappy · 发表于 2012-4-22 16:20:49

4月22日独立写作
110115 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The main role of the university professor is to educate students rather than to do research.

Professors nowadays are reported to have devote much more time to doing researches than educating students, for the simple reason that lots of researches are demanded when rated professor level. Such is society condition that professors who are both academy teachers and science researchers merely focus on specific studies linked to their own benefits, neglecting the duty of imparting fundamental knowledge to students and the advantages of more creative ideas that come up with lots of young adults. To my standpoint, professors should pay more attention to educate students.

First of all, it goes without saying that graduates play a significant role in the future.　An observation shows that each year almost 8000 million graduates flow to work in fields of construction medical treatment finance and so on. What if they are not taught completely and systematically at school? How would they compete with peers to get a job and how could they do well in their own domains. Take my older sister for example, who is majored in market but lacked with training of selling in schools. Unfortunately, not until a year later after graduation did she get a job as a result of short of abilities of market analysis and selling skills. Consequently, professors should firstly act a teacher rather than a research.

Also playing an important part is more ideas which come up with by young adults. It is undoubted that young adults receive new knowledge more quickly and then think out of more creative thoughts. For professors why not educate them with full energy and gather the new together to do experiments more effectively and efficiently. My classmate Victor speaks highly of his tutor, who teaches him how to read papers, make surveys and work with data, and now plays a crucial role in their research which is composed by 5 graduates. Professors who are only focused to researches are unable to understand the feelings of dedication and receive honor from students. So I believe that teaching should be professors’ main work.

Admittedly, researches are essential to promote the development of technology and professors are obliged to make studies. Just as coins have two sides, provided too much attention is paid to experiments, students are ignored and to avoid the negative impact professors should balance the role between a teacher and a researcher.

As far as I am concerned, professors are regarded as teachers firstly by the public when we take the view to scan the whole picture. Despite the merits of performing researches, educating students takes advantages of more ideas when doing experiments and instructing superior students.

夏雨霏霏 · 发表于 2012-4-23 14:45:53

Professors nowadays are reported to have devoted much more time to doing researches than educating students, for the simple reason that lots of researches are demanded when rated professor level. Such is society condition that professors who are both academy teachers and science researchers merely focus on specific studies linked to their own benefits, neglecting the duty of imparting fundamental knowledge to students and the advantages of more creative ideas that come up with lots of young adults. To my standpoint, professors should pay more attention to educate students.

First of all, it goes without saying that graduates play a significant role in the future.An observation shows that each year almost 8000 million graduates flow to work in fields of construction, medical treatment ,finance and so on(个人觉得2个之后就so on 就行了). What if they are not taught completely and systematically at school? How would they compete with peers to get a job and how could they do well in their own domains. Take my older sister for example, who is majored in market but lacked with training of selling in schools. Unfortunately, not until a year later after graduation did she get a job as a result of short of abilities of market analysis and selling skills. Consequently, professors should firstly act a teacher rather than a research.

Also playing an important part is more ideas which come up with by young adults. It is undoubted that young adults receive new knowledge more quickly and then think out of more creative thoughts. For professors why not educate them with full energy and gather the new together（？）to do experiments more effectively and efficiently. My classmate Victor， now playing a crucial role in their research which is composed by 5 graduates speaks highly of his tutor, who teaches him how to read papers, make surveys and work with data. Professors who are only focused to researches are unable to understand the feelings of dedication and receive honor from students. So I believe that teaching should be professors’ main work.

Admittedly, researches are essential to promote the development of technology and professors are obliged to make studies. Just as coins have two sides, provided too much attention is paid to experiments, students are ignored. Therefore, to avoid the negative impact, professors should balance the role between a teacher and a researcher.

As far as I am concerned, professors are regarded as teachers firstly by the public when we take the view to scan the whole picture. Despite the merits of performing researches, educating students takes advantages of more ideas when doing experiments and instructing superior students

句子挺好的，但是我觉得论证不够有力

tyyhappy · 发表于 2012-4-24 21:42:26

Has it ever happened to you? Have your professor ever assigned a task of making surveys which consume a mass of time as you are just given a chance to attend a national academic conference? Such is the common dilemma that projects appear at the same time and how would you do with it? To my standpoint, performing several projects together makes working more effective and avoids deadline faults.
First of all, it goes without saying that doing things in the meantime is more effective. Supposing one focuses on one subject for days and nights, brains are no longer excited according to a persistent topic. Take my friend, who covers about three subjects in one night, such as math, English and Finance, for example. He says the more time you pay to something, the more tedious and harder it seems for you, for your brain is coping with too much and getting tired of it. In addition, there are possibilities people may get new ideas from other projects. Archimedes thought of putting an object into water, measuring the water spoiled out as the cubage of the object, which happened as he was taking a bath. The case indicates that doing projects concurrently may lead to new thoughts.
Also playing an important part is saving time. Experiments can never be done without waiting. Mice in labs have to digest new drugs and need time to respond to them and for some sort of chemicals it takes hours or days to react. Hardly anyone would stand by tubes or cages until changes come up. Why not search for the information wanted by Finance professor and doing experiments about how mice reflect to the new chemical. My classmate Leon is a perfect case, who has achieved lots of projects each semester. No one has made full use of time better than him, who always makes several experiments in the meantime because he is good at computing and controlling time. So I believe that it is undeniable that time is saved by making projects together.
Admittedly, one may make faults if covering many things together for the fact that things are easily mistaken and minds are not concentrated. Just as coins have two sides, together making projects may cause bad influence. Therefore, to avoid the negative impact, we should work carefully and seriously if we handle them all.
As far as I am concerned, a large amount of people do two or more projects at the same time when they take the view to scan the whole picture. Despite the merits of focusing on one subject, performing concurrently takes advantages of saving time and acting effectively.
写的很痛苦呀···找不到论据，没有例子，还总是用重复的词语·····碰到这种题目就蔫了·······
辛苦批改者呀·····

易雨水巷 · 发表于 2012-4-25 19:44:49

红色为错误，蓝色为建议和疑问，高亮为精彩，绿色为总结
Has it ever happened to you? Have your professor ever assigned a taskof making surveys which consume a mass of time (建议用cost plenty of time)as you are just given achance to attend a national academic conference? （这样两句have ever，不是排比，感觉又不如合成一句呢， Has it ever happened to you, whenyour professior…）Such is thecommon dilemma that projects appearat the same time and how would you do with it? To mystandpoint（With reference to my standpoint/ From mystandpoint）, performing several projects together makes workingmore effective and avoids deadline faults.
First of all, it goeswithout saying that doing things in the meantime is more effective（effective 可以换成favorable）. Supposing onefocuses on one subject for days and nights, brains are no longer excitedaccording to a persistent topic. Take my friend, who covers about threesubjects in one night, such as math, English and Finance, for (+an) example. He says the more time you pay tosomething, the more tediousand harder it seems for you(可以去掉), for your brain is coping with (这是个及物的词组吧)too much and getting tired of it（下划线部分可以单独成句啊）. In addition, there arepossibilities people may get new ideas from other projects. Archimedes thoughtof putting an object into water, measuring the water spoiled out as the cubageof the object, which happened as he was taking a bath. The case indicates thatdoing projects concurrentlymay lead to （lead to 感觉一般后面接不好的结果，contribute to？）new thoughts.
Also playing an importantpart is saving time. Experiments can never bedone without waiting. (双重否定是肯定，然后这句成了experiment can bedone with waiting.貌似与主题不符合了额)（+For instance，之类的连接词）Mice in labs have to digest new drugs and need timeto respond to them and for some sort of chemicals it takes hours or days toreact. Hardly anyone would stand by tubes or cagesuntil changes come up (Hardly would anyone stand by…否定词在前的倒装句). Why not searchfor the information wanted by Finance professor and doing experiments about howmice reflect to the new chemical. My classmate Leon is a perfect case, who hasachieved lots of projects each semester. No one has made full use of timebetter than him, who always makes several experiments in the meantime （可以换成meanwhile, in the meantime 已经用过了PS这句和前面那句，连着两个，who的非定语从句啊）because he is good at computing and controllingtime. So I believe that it is undeniable that time is saved by makingprojects together.
Admittedly, one may make faults if covering many things together for the factthat things are easily mistaken and minds are not concentrated. Just as coins havetwo sides, together making projects may cause bad influence.(分成两句，Just as the saying goes” every coin has two sides”. Imean that/that’s to say, together making projects may cause bad influence. ) Therefore, toavoid the negative impact, we should work carefully and seriously if we handlethem all.
As far as Iam concerned, a large amount of people do two or more projects at the same timewhen they take the view to scan the whole picture.(其实我觉得这句放在这里不太合适额，可以放在first of all 那段的论述里) Despite the merits of focusing on (可以用concentrating on ) one subject, performing concurrently takesadvantages of saving time and acting effectively.

To happy：易雨水巷的意见可能比较多，希望happy不要介意哦，其实happy写的比易雨水巷要好多了呢O(∩_∩)O，易雨水巷也找不出例子，纠结了半天整篇文章就用了一个例子~~o(>_<)o~~ 易雨水巷觉得happy的例子还可以，就是需要在表达上再下点儿功夫呢，稍加简练、润色之类的
另外，happy可以注意一下句式、词组的搭配哦
加油↖(^ω^)↗

tyyhappy · 发表于 2012-4-25 22:03:26

真谢谢妞。（我猜是个妞咯）
学到了很多，收获了不少哪，嗯，回去琢磨去嘞^_^

易雨水巷 · 发表于 2012-4-26 21:54:24

真谢谢妞。（我猜是个妞咯）
学到了很多，收获了不少哪，嗯，回去琢磨去嘞^_^

-- by 会员 tyyhappy (2012/4/25 22:03:26)

你猜对了 O(∩_∩)O

come on 一起rock

tyyhappy · 发表于 2012-5-2 11:25:39

5-2
Have you ever noticed such companies who broke up because of lacking a matching manager? Have you ever encountered the situation that several difficulties are still remained just before deadline of a task? Such are social realities that company managers are in want of qualified and skilled employees for the simple reason that companies can run effectively and efficiently in low costs by this way. From my standpoint, the most important investment for a company is to pay on employees training.

First of all, it goes without saying that the more skilled workers are the more effective and efficient the company is. Take my roommate Victor, who works in one of the Top global corporations, for an example. He learns how to do accounts via training and now does better compared to newcomers in finance department. Supposing a company pays a lot on profitable projects, however there are possibilities mistakes are made frequently resulting in failures just because of unqualified workers. That sounds terrible! Not to mention the operational efficiency is very low. Managers should appoint assignments to matching staff and production workers should make equipment runs smoothly. Hardly is anyone born with abilities above, consequently, companies are doomed to spend on improving the skills of staff in order to operate in a efficiency way.

Also playing an important part is the fact workers get a sense of confidence when getting more skills. Great companies are composed of excellent employees who are confident diligent and loyal. People who have business relation are probably to make contacts with the confident; people in the same company are willing to cooperate with the confident; people who are in charge of the department would like assign missions to the confident. What on earth makes them conduct confident? The skills they get and the tasks they finish by using skills. For instance, my colleague learned how to hold lectures from a training class and now has successfully given several about how to go aboard in many universities. Subsequently, a great many of students who are impressed deeply by his performances consult a lot. Therefore, I believe that skills are vital for employees to build confidence so that companies should pay more on training.

Admittedly, less is spent on project investment which brings profit to companies. Just as the old saying goes” every coin has two sides”. That is to say, spending too much on labor investment has bad influence. Therefore, to avoid negative impact we can take measures to make budgets and balance the costs between projects and trainings.

As far as I am concerned, the most important investment is improving skills of employees when we take the view to scan the whole picture. Despite the merits of investing in projects, investments in training take more advantages of running more effectively and making workers more confident.
好久没写，没感觉呀没感觉······

瓜瓜不瓜 · 发表于 2012-5-2 23:35:57

happy 5.2是咱两互批，请多多指教

红色为优点绿色为不足和疑问 HAPPY第一次批你的我尽量哈

Have you ever noticed such companies who broke up because of lacking a matching（Match 一般用于形容颜色搭配，换成suitable个人觉得更好） manager? Have you ever encountered the situation that several difficulties are still remained(加上 unsolved更好) just before deadline of a task? Such are social realities that company managers are in want of qualified and skilled employees for the simple reason that companies can run effectively and efficiently in low costs by this way. From my standpoint, the most important investment for a company is to pay on employees training.（开头很棒！！music姐姐也是推荐这种疑问排比开头）

First of all, it goes without saying that the more skilled workers are，the more effective and efficient the company is. Take my roommate Victor, who works in one of the Top global corporations, for an example. He learns（用has learnt 表明两个动作发生的前后顺序，更好） how to do accounts via training and now does better compared to newcomers in finance department. Supposing a company pays a lot on profitable projects, however there arepossibilities mistakes （possible mistakes)are made frequently resulting in failures just because of unqualified workers. That sounds terrible! Not to mention the operational efficiency is very low. Managers should appoint assignments to matching(suitable) staff and production workers should make equipment runs(语法错误，run）smoothly. Hardly is anyone born with abilities above,（逗号变句号）consequently, companies are doomed to spend on improving the skills of staff in order to operate in a efficiency way.

Also playing an important part is the fact workers get a sense of confidence （这话读着怪怪地，但又说不出是哪里错了，happy你自己试试改改）when getting more skills. Great companies are composed of excellent employees who are confident（，） diligent and loyal. People who have business relation are probably to make contacts with the confident; people in the same company are willing to cooperate with the confident; people who are in charge of the department would like assign missions to the confident. What on earth makes them conduct confident? The skills they get and the tasks they finish by using skills. For instance, my colleague learned how to hold lectures from a training class and now has successfully given several about how to go aboard in many universities. Subsequently, a great many of students who are impressed deeply by his performances consult a lot. Therefore, I believe that skills are vital for employees to build confidence so that companies should pay more on training.

Admittedly, less is spent on project investment which brings profit to companies. Just as the old saying goes” every coin has two sides”. （标点有误，取决于你要把这句名言归到前句还是后句）That is to say, spending too much on labor investment has bad influence. Therefore, to avoid negative impact we can take measures to make budgets and balance the costs between projects and trainings.

As far as I am concerned, the most important investment is improving skills of employees when we take the view to scan the whole picture. Despite the merits of investing in projects, investments in training take more advantages of running more effectively and making workers more confident.

PS： happy 写的很不错呢！
拼写错误基本没有，标点符号稍稍注意下用法吧

开头写的极好。每段总分结构，倒数第二段让步段，整篇文章思路很是清楚。句子也很好，词汇也丰富，我学习榜样也！

tyyhappy · 发表于 2012-5-6 16:57:18

5-6独立
Have you ever taken an internet class which is given via videos and by which you can learn something whenever and wherever you like? Have you ever noticed that more lectures are given to the public in universities these days? Such is society reality that it becomes easier for people to learn knowledge for the simple reason that more and more people would like become further educated. From my standpoint, widespread internet and open universities provide more opportunities so that people are nowadays more likely to get educated than in the past.

First of all, it goes without saying that internet plays a vital part in making it more convenient for people to take classes. One can see class videos about the ecology; one is able to listen to lecture involved new ideas on Ted; one may take internet classes related to business just the same as having real classes at schools. A great many of information is provided on the internet and whether one gets educated in this method depends on how he or she uses it. For instance, my classmate Victor, who can speak fluent French, spares no efforts to learn it through the internet, by remembering words and grammar on Hujiang and talking frequently with Frenchmen via Skype. He is forever talking about new resources about learning French on the website or good methods mentioned by an internet learner. When it comes to learning French, he points out that without the internet he was unable to grasp a language so effectively. Therefore, internet counts for education indeed.

Also playing an important part is the fact that universities provide more chances for the public to get educated. An observation shows that more than 200 universities’ lectures are open to societies nowadays, involving business geography biology and so on. In addition more and more libraries are accessible to the public so that books are more conveniently available for readers, especially updated essays and journals. Just take my university, which is filled with social students on weekends, for an example. Curriculums about account, finance, investment and economic are given to them who choose the major of finance but have no time to take classes on weekdays. Consequently, universities are offering more opportunities for the public to get educated.

Admittedly, more lures are emerging as the society develops, such as computer games which may probably call much attention and take up time for studying. As the old saying goes, each coin has two sides. Therefore, to avoid the negative impact, we should take control of time and balance the entertainment and learning.

As far as I am concerned, despite the shortcomings mentioned above, we benefit more according to learning as the society develops. When we take the view to scan the whole picture, we cannot emphasize the importance of internet that offers us useful information and online classes too much. Moreover, universities’ openness undoubtedly makes sense.

tyyhappy · 发表于 2012-5-7 11:08:34

5-7独立
People who are always telling jokes often make far more friends than others for the simple reason that they bring more happiness and interest to daily life. Such is human nature that people prefer relaxing and entertaining atmosphere. However, jokes and happiness are never able to solve any problem when you come across troubles or difficulties and only those who are always prepared to do others a favor can help you get rid of problems when you are in need. From my standpoint, it is more important to choose friends that will assist you when needed in learning, living and emotion aspects.

First of all, it goes without saying that people who are forward to help others would not reject others’ request of dealing with a complex learning problem. In their opinions, learning is both from each other and in the process of dealing with difficult problems they may generate new and creative ideas. Take my friend Victor who seldom refuses others’ request for example. He is popular and welcomed not only our class but also the whole department for he is forever willing to tackle your matters about major subject. Hardly anyone makes completed notes than him at class and his notebooks are undoubtedly borrowed to copy by others frequently when exams are on the corner. On the contrary, why some scarcely lend notebooks to others when asked is beyond me. Consequently, they are limited outsiders in community. So I believe that making friends with those who are pleasure to help others are significant when it comes to learning.

Also playing an important part is the fact they give suggestions and advices when emotion problems come up. Take my roommate Anny, who came across emotion puzzles not long before, for an example. Unhappy and sad for several days, she was puzzled what to do next so she talked lots with us for suggestion. Friends would always consider your feelings when you confront emotion problem; friends are always suggesting you to be calm and peace when emotional puzzles come up; friends are always accompanying you when you are in need of feeling care. Warm and careful as friends who are ready to assist you are, they are worth making friends with. Therefore, I emphasize that friends should be helpers but not jokers.

Admittedly, people who enable friends to laugh a lot attract us, as human nature indicates that we want a relaxed and humorous atmosphere rather than a sad one. Just as my mother has told my before, nothing is perfect. However, one can choose to make friend with one who meets the two features mentioned.

As far as I am concerned, despite the merits of making a harmonious atmosphere when together with joker friends, we would choose ones who will help us when needed when we take the view to scan the whole picture.

这种作文题写起来没感觉呀·······写的痛苦泪奔···
辛苦批改者呀~~

【写作小分队】tyyhappy 欢迎狂批^_^

所属分类: TOEFL / IELTS

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