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shayc

题目：A/D the most important things people learn are from their families.


“I want to tell you a secret that will see you through all the trails life can offer: have courage and be kind.” This is last word from Cinderella’s mother to her lovely daughter. Then Cinderella keeps this principle in her mind through her whole life. Of course, family is an indispensable part in our life. While someone may argue that it is the environment that mostly influences our life. For instance, people live with poverty will be strong and persistent. When it comes to me, perhaps no issue in the world is as important as my family, which shapes my characters and values to make contribution to our society.

First of all, it is generally implied that people judge a family through the way the child behaves at the first sight. The better a child performs, the greater impression his or her family will obtain. This is mainly because parents’ osmotic influence children on ethic, habits and characters by accompanying children for most of time. If a child were a blank book, he or she would be what parents draw on it .This point can be best illustrated with the case of my classmates. Tom, whose parents have separated for family violence since he was young, is so sensitive and violent that we hardly communicate with him in afraid of getting a below. Similarly, another classmate, Mary risen up by his mother alone is prone to make boyfriend with man in forties, which is almost the same age as her father’s.

In addition, currently, being responsible is a highly desire personality in such a fast-developing and increasingly complex world. Everyone prefers to be friends with, to do business with and to marry with a responsible person. However, a sense of responsibility is not a thing can be taught but a tradition passed down from the elder. For example, my parents have dealt with family and work in a responsible way since I was a child. Never do they ask for a leave for private affair while working. Also, instead of relying on nurses, my parents take care of my grandfather by themselves in hospital. I observe their performance and require myself to do the same until it becomes a habit.

Admittedly, schools and society do help us to grow into a complete person. For instance, academic performance is largely dependent on factors such as the teaching method and assignments. But the integrated impact of education and society cannot replace the role that family plays in our life. It is our characters, values and responsibility that determines who we are and what our life purpose is.

At the end of the story, Cinderella finds her own prince. Courage and kindness, the most important personalities for her, are inherited from her mother. Indeed, even we benefit from different social experience, it is our family that turn us into helpful and responsible individuals.



谢谢LZ～～>0<~~~~~~

lavenderws

超级西瓜鸭 发表于 2015-8-27 21:09
感谢楼主的帮助，能否麻烦楼主帮助看一下这篇独立写作呢？非常感谢您！谢谢！
do you agree or disagree wi ...

写得还可以。就是要注意一下语法和词汇重复的问题。感觉字数不太够哦～
其实论证上，除了解释还有举例－－是一个增加字数，提升表达多样的最好方法。


欢迎关注我的公众微信号：evaessay. 提供地道的写作素材


感谢楼主的帮助，能否麻烦楼主帮助看一下这篇独立写作呢？非常感谢您！谢谢！
do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to travel is in a group led by a tour guide.

Nowadays it is common for people to suffer from the pressure of endless tasks, rigid working requirement and hustle life pace. To take a vacation from hard work and enjoy the beautiful scenery of some places of attraction could be a fascinating choice. However, whether to join a traveling group led by a tour guide is a problem. As far as I am concerned, arrange--arranging  the traveling by oneself may be a better choice.

For all tour guides, they belong to a certain company and have specific plan for trips. The attractions to be visited in a city are determined by the company, while some of the places attractive may not include in the company's list. For instance, when a group visits Beijing City, as－删去［n个句子，n-1个连词］ there are so many places of interest that the Summer Palace, a attraction admiring-admired for some members of the group, is not going to be visited－－ususally will be ruled out due to its . However, as the tourists have signed contract with the company, nobody could not leave the group to travel by themselves, which is inconvenient for some tourist.［这句才是观点句，应该放在第一句。］

Apart from the attractions, the time schedule of a guide leading group－－表述不准确：group led by a guide is also limited. Therefore, when the tourists find a place of extreme interests, they are prohibited to spend more time there than planned. Moreover, the time schedule is usually arranged in a hustle pace to include as many attractions[重复啊] as possible. Although some tourists may get tired during the trip, as group members, they could not redress the rest time. Therefore, in the latter portion of the trip, these tourists may experience more tiredness than pleasure.

Last but not least, some tour guides may secretly cooperate with some merchant in the scenic spot. As a result, the tourists may be forced to attend some activities or purchase souvenirs they dislike. Personally, once in a trip to Thailand I encountered such incident, which ruined the whole trip.

Joining a tour group and leaving all the arrangements to the tour guide indeed save time and provide convenience for tourists. However, I reinforce that, traveling by oneself is a better option, as the tour guide will limit the scenic spot, restrict the time schedule and even force tourists into activities they resent.

超级西瓜鸭

lavenderws 发表于 2015-8-30 11:28
写得还可以。就是要注意一下语法和词汇重复的问题。感觉字数不太够哦～
其实论证上，除了解释还有举例－ ...

谢谢楼主，请问一般要写多长呢？这篇大概在320多个字，已经超时了。。。关于微信，上面是否有些万能素材呢？

lavenderws

超级西瓜鸭 发表于 2015-8-30 15:35
谢谢楼主，请问一般要写多长呢？这篇大概在320多个字，已经超时了。。。关于微信，上面是否有些万能素材 ...

写300字以上就完全没有问题了。不用过分追求字数。

微信上的素材都是我精挑细选的很万能的素材了。
语言也很地道，很多词汇表达就是在不同的话题下，都能使用。

超级西瓜鸭

lavenderws 发表于 2015-8-31 14:58
写300字以上就完全没有问题了。不用过分追求字数。

微信上的素材都是我精挑细选的很万能的素材了。

好的，已关注，谢谢

lavenderws

shayc 发表于 2015-8-29 21:36
题目：A/D the most important things people learn are from their families.

语言还不错。
句型也有在变换
最大问题就是解题目错误，跑题了


仔细读题哦～


欢迎关注我的公众微信号：evaessay. 提供地道的写作素材。



题目：A/D the most important things people learn are from their families.


“I want to tell you a secret that will see you through all the trails life can offer: have courage and be kind.” This is last word from Cinderella’s mother to her lovely daughter. Then Cinderella keeps this principle in her mind through her whole life. Of course, family is an indispensable part in our life. While someone may argue that it is the environment that mostly influences our life. For instance, people live with poverty will be strong and persistent. When it comes to me, perhaps no issue in the world is as important as my family, which shapes my characters and values to make contribution to our society.－－同学跑题了哈。

First of all, it is generally implied that people judge a family through the way the child behaves at the first sight. The better a child performs, the greater impression his or her family will obtain. This is mainly because parents’ osmotic influence children on ethic, habits and characters by accompanying children for most of time. If a child were a blank book, he or she would be what parents draw on it－－这个用真实条件句就可以来 .This point can be best illustrated with the case of my classmates. Tom, whose parents have separated for family violence since he was young, is so sensitive and violent that we hardly communicate with him in afraid of getting a below. Similarly, another classmate, Mary risen up by his mother alone is prone to make boyfriend with man in forties, which is almost the same age as her father’s.

In addition, currently, being responsible-responsibility is a highly desire－词性用错吧;desirable personality in such a fast-developing and increasingly complex world. Everyone prefers to be friends with, to do business with and to marry with a responsible person. However, a sense of responsibility is not a thing can be taught but a tradition passed down from the elder.[这个可以算切题了。] For example, my parents have dealt with family and work in a responsible way－重复的次数太多了吧 since I was a child. Never do they ask for a leave for private affair while working－不错。倒装. Also, instead of relying on nurses, my parents take care of my grandfather by themselves in hospital. I observe their performance and require myself to do the same until it becomes a habit.

Admittedly, schools and society do help us to grow into a complete－well-rounded person. For instance, academic performance is largely dependent on factors such as the teaching method and assignments. But the integrated impact of education and society cannot replace the role that family plays in our life. It is our characters, values and responsibility that determines who we are and what our life purpose is.

At the end of the story, Cinderella finds her own prince. Courage and kindness, the most important personalities for her, are inherited from her mother. Indeed, even we benefit from different social experience, it is our family that turn us into helpful and responsible individuals.



谢谢LZ～～>0<~~~~~~

超级西瓜鸭

对于一个话题想请教一下楼主：当家长发现老师的教育方式有误时，是否应该向老师指出？
我的想法是写应该提出 第一段讲不提出问题对孩子的成长会有伤害，第二段讲提出时应注意方式方法，含蓄的向老师传达意见，第三段作让步，提出在提出建议前要确认教育方式确实有问题，因为家长很多时候不如老师专业。
最后总结，在确定有问题，并注意提意见方式的情况下，应该提意见。

因为这个话题正反两面都感觉不太好展开，想请教楼主，如果碰到这种情况，像我这样的文章脉络合适吗？谢谢

lavenderws

超级西瓜鸭 发表于 2015-8-31 19:18
对于一个话题想请教一下楼主：当家长发现老师的教育方式有误时，是否应该向老师指出？
我的想法是写应该提 ...

要注意对让步段的反驳。
你的观点是要提意见的。所以，虽然让步段写了：父母不如老师专业；但是还是要拉回你自己的观点，要反驳。
比如，还是要提。等老师来判断～～
比如，提的好处大于不提

超级西瓜鸭

lavenderws 发表于 2015-9-1 08:48
要注意对让步段的反驳。
你的观点是要提意见的。所以，虽然让步段写了：父母不如老师专业；但是还是要拉回 ...

了解了，谢谢！

cordierite

130412 NA
Do agree or or disagree with the following statement? Workers would be much happier if they are doing different types of tasks doing their workday than doing the same task.

In such a time a full of competition, where people place great value on diverse skills and ability to handle multi-task, many more workers prefer to learn a variety of knowledge through doing different types of tasks rather than doing just one single mission. Doing different kinds of tasks will not only provide the workers with good mood to work, but also equip them with much higher quality prepared for hunting jobs. On this ground, I agree the statement that employees would be more satisfied to do different types of tasks during their work time.

Admittedly, doing single task can make workers more professional. We have already known from the old saying which says practice makes perfect that continue doing one thing will help you master it completely. But think about the disadvantage of doing this. Workers may feel boring about repeating the same work over and over again and end up in tiredness. This kind of tiredness could result in carelessness in their following work and cause serious damage to the company. It will be more sensible if the enterprise could allow their employees to do many different kinds of tasks.

In addition, doing various sorts of tasks can help workers maintain good moods while engaging in their jobs, which will definitely benefit both the employees and the employers. Duties will always become tedious if people continue to do them, especially in the stream-lined factory. Mechanized production process and repetition in body moves will easily drive employees insane. A typical illustration of this could be seen from the Foxconn suicide scandal. The Foxconn suicides occurred at the Foxconn City industrial park in Shenzhen, China. The 18 attempted suicides by Foxconn employees resulted in 14 deaths—the company was the world’s largest contract electronics manufacturer at the time. This terrible case is due to the dull and repeated working routine in Foxconn factory. However, if the workers are allowed to execute diverse tasks they will feel happier and more open-minded. With a broadened horizon they can view the world in different angles, which will in turn make them happier about the work they are dealing with.

Furthermore, another reason for workers’ willingness to do multi-task is that there can be some practical meaning. It is really tough to land jobs in such a fiercely competitive world, and versatility becomes one of the most essential elements for a company to hire new men. Doing different jobs will render the workers with diverse aspects of working experience, and the flexibility they have derived from doing so can be applied to future job hunting practice as well. No one will hesitate to take the offer to do more tasks if they have known there are so many advantages attached to it.

Allowing employees to do different types of tasks instead of focusing on one same task will make them feel satisfied about their jobs and help them gain more confidence. Also, the company itself could be benefited from the improvement of working efficiency. Maybe it is time for industries to adjust their production pattern and let employees choose to do as many kinds of jobs as they can handle.

求批改 谢谢楼主~